Chapter 0:

ZERO - Living Idly As If Dreaming

Life x Like

Life isn't fulfilling. That is all.

Take it from me, a "high-school student". It's all about expectations. Man, let me tell you in case you want to argue about it, people expect you to act in a pattern; to behave in a way that's equal to the norms put forward by society. It's all about memorising that pattern. We humans want to be pleased. And to please someone is the key to survival in this God forsaken world.

But for those who fail, what choice do they have? One can't just live life expecting nothing wrong to happen to them, making everything fall on their face as a result. Everything becomes annoying! One becomes hopeless at that thought. We try to deny it but that's the greatest fear of us all. The bane of our existence.


Mistakes start as a snowball but they become larger and larger. Sure people may have the capacity to stop it from toppling down on them but for how long? It's not like Atlas can carry the weight of the sky on his shoulders until the world meets its end. Rather, it's because he fails to do that that the world would end.

At least that's what I believe.

I slipped into a black hoodie and dark-coloured jeans (that were a little torn on the knees mind you) to hide myself from the hustle and bustle of the city. I stepped out of the apartment, standing to glance at it.

It was the last time I was going to see it after all.

The moon shined bright but it was overshadowed by the blinding city lights. This was Shibuya after all. Even nighttimes were busy. It was also a great time to blend in.

The view would've looked beautiful if it weren't for the fact that I felt a bit too suffocated due to the crowd. I felt my breathing tense up. It felt like I was drowning in a bottomless sea. It felt colder than usual too.

'Shit!' I thought, 'Why now? Just a little more time…'

I ignored the uncomfortable feeling and proceeded walking. My destination was nearby, just a few blocks away. I don't care if even the Gods come and stop me from doing what I was going to do. I've had enough.

I stopped walking, seeing a red light and decided to look around to distract myself. Next to me was a woman with a child. It was a girl…or at least it looked like one. I was more focused on the crying. I figured the mother couldn't hear her. Well I couldn't blame her. The city was bustling at this time; men in suits returning from their jobs; kids who looked about my age walking in pairs, laughing about. It gave me a hint or regret, reminding myself of how little I've done in life.

'It's all going to end today.' I thought, 'I don't want to back down now.'

I tried to cheer the child up. I made a funny face, trying my best to smile. The girl stared at me with curiosity but immediately started crying louder.

"Thanks," I said under my breath, "You reminded me that I looked like shit."

No hard feelings though. Anyone would be uncomfortable seeing me in my current state. I haven't taken a shower in days. I can't seem to even get out of bed. But it's not like I get to sleep. It's more of the opposite. I have bags under my eyes and my black hair is all messy. I barely eat anything because it feels like climbing a mountain to even get to the instant-ramen containers I keep on a shelf.

Well all that gets washed down the drain when I draw. I like drawing things. Reminds me that I can create something nice as opposed to destroying hopes and dreams. But even that feels like a drag nowadays. The walls of my apartment rarely get updated with newer pictures. The canvases on the wall are now old and look worn out (or maybe it's because of the dim lighting in the small apartment I live in). I didn't even get a new batch of paint. I hate leaving things undone!

I dug into my hoodie pocket and found candy inside. I smiled once again and handed it to the little kid. She stopped crying and tilted her head, looking at me as if I were a new specimen. The mother finally looked at me and smiled.

"S-sorry for the trouble, boy." she said, flustered, "Nana is hard to handle sometimes. Here let me give you something-"

"No thanks…" I interrupted, "The fact that she stopped crying is enough for me."

I smiled wearily and pat her head, bidding the two farewell as the light turned green. I could make out the place I needed to go to.


I stood outside my destination. A skyscraper. It was supposed to be a shopping complex but it's construction was abandoned a few weeks ago because the lead architect suffered from cardiac arrest. The man used to visit the site at times. I used to pass by the site when I went to get more instant ramen. He was a pot-bellied man who you would expect to be oh-so-jolly but he's just another one of those irritable (and irritating) people you could find always anywhere and everywhere.

I looked upwards. It seemed like they managed to complete two out of the four storeys that were shown in the signboard next to it. The picture looked grand alright. It's sad that it never finished being built.

I climbed up a set of makeshift stairs. As I did, I observed the surroundings and wondered why they didn't demolish it already. It was an abandoned spot. I've heard the delinquents in the area used to come here when no one was there. That was shown by the amount of graffiti on the walls. It seemed like these guys exploited this place to their heart's content. Well, seeing it being abandoned must've struck gold for them.

I stood overlooking the city skyline. For two storeys, this building sure was tall. I savoured the view of the city. How beautiful it was. Memories of my life flashed in my eyes. I could only heave a sigh at it.

"C'mon, if you want to stop me. You'll have to try harder."

I shook my head and felt myself step closer to the edge.

"Tonight, a life will extinguish its flames." I said to myself.

I clicked my tongue, "Edgy…"

"Here ends thou life. The pathetic life of Yoshida Masanori"

With that said, I freely fell into eternal nothingness.

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