Chapter 22: Next Steps

Sylvia walked into the classroom, her eyes scanning over the students as they waited eagerly for their next lesson. She was just going to be observing today, as the students acted out roles and pretended they were going on dates.

She found how hard they were trying to be quite adorable, but her attention was occupied by two students in particular. While still giving some attention to the performance she was supposed to grade, she suppressed a smile as she watched a far more interesting show out of the corner of her eye.

Moira watched her classmates with a dazed expression. It was always difficult for her to pay attention in class, but today in particular everything seemed to be going in one ear and out the other.

It wasn’t her fault, though. How was she supposed to concentrate, after what happened yesterday!?

She and Jason kissed! And not just once or twice, but SO MANY times! She knew she should be feeling bad about doing something so wrong, but she didn’t. It just felt so right kissing him like that. And when they’d had to stop…

Maybe she really was sick. There had to be something wrong with her, it was the only explanation for why she kept feeling this way. All those stories the two of them had read about marriage and kissing and happily ever after, they all made it sound like the most wonderful feeling in the world.

Love. That was a word that kept showing up in those books. Ai always said that love was something naturally happened between Partners. But the way the books described it seemed so much more intense than anything she’d ever felt towards Andrew, so she’d been confused.

But then…

“It’s because I want to kiss you, okay?!”

The minute he said that her whole world had exploded. It was like finally finding the missing piece to a puzzle or the broken wire connector in a model car engine, everything came together perfectly and she realized that she wanted to kiss him too, more than anything.

She didn’t know if this was love, but she’d never felt this way about anyone before.

Of course, it went without saying that nobody could ever know. Nobody could ever find out about their kisses, and as much as it hurt to admit, they could never do it again. Jason said it himself, the risk was too great.

If only she could control herself. Even now, right here in class, she was trying desperately to fight the impulse to kiss him. Like always her body kept trying to do things she knew she shouldn’t, and it was taking everything she had not to give in.

But her eyes kept glancing his way. She’d stretch, turn, glance at the clock, anything to keep her eyes on him. And when she saw he was looking at her too, seeing that tiny gasp of embarrassment as they realized at the same time, she wanted to leap to her feet and sing.

“That will be all. You’re excused. Oh, Jason, Moira? If you would stay back with me for a moment, I have something to discuss.”

Yep. Moira expected that. She’d been so spacey all day, no wonder Doctor Sylvia wanted to talk with her. But she was surprised the doctor had asked Jason to stay back too. Why would she-

Halfway to the front of the classroom she froze. She’d almost forgotten.

The book. Doctor Sylvia’s book. It was in her backpack. Did she know? No, there was no way, right? But why else would she single them out in particular?

Moira quickly calmed herself down. If she got worked up, then she might blurt the whole thing out. They would be in enough trouble if someone found out about the kiss, they couldn’t get caught with this too. She had to be cool. Cool like Skye. Skye wouldn’t give into pressure. But then, Skye wouldn’t steal the book, either.

Luckily the doctor didn’t look angry. That was a relief. She smiled, and asked them to come with her.

Moira glanced at Jason. He looked as nervous as she felt. She gulped, and followed Doctor Sylvia into the hallway, and all the way to her office.

“I’m glad we could finally talk in private, just the three of us.”

Moira and Jason sat beside each other on the couch, their faces red, while the doctor sat across from them with a calm smile on her face.

“Are… Are we in trouble?” Moira asked.

“Oh my, now why would you think that? Have you done something wrong?” The doctor laughed, causing both students to flinch.

“N-No! Of course not! Why, um… why would you think that?” Darn it! Calm down, calm down! You’re gonna start babbling! Not knowing what else to do, Moira clenched her jaw shut to keep from saying anything else.

Doctor Sylvia turned to Jason and took a sip from her tea. “On another note, I’m glad you two are getting along again. Better than before, it seems. Did you find a solution to your little problem, Jason?”

Jason gulped and Moira glanced at him, surprised. Had he talked to the doctor about her? What did he say? No way he told her that he wanted to kiss her, right?

“Th-That’s…” Jason fumbled for the right words but they just weren’t coming.

She tapped her finger against her chin.

“My, from the looks of things… I’d say you two had already kissed.”

A deathly silence fell over the room. Then Moira broke it.

“No! Of course not! We-We haven’t kissed! Why would you think that?!”

Jason nodded along with her, “yeah, of course not! I-I would never, we would never, um-“

“Oh, please,” the doctor rolled her eyes. “You two lovebirds couldn’t be any more obvious. I saw everything, you know? How you two were squirming in your seats in class, the way you kept glancing at each other, your blushes, did you think you were being subtle? So when did it happen? It must have been within the last few days, considering how much of a wreck you two look like.”

Jason felt like his world had come to a crashing halt. He’d been desperate to forget about the kisses, even as the feeling of Moira’s lips still burned in his mind. He’d replayed those moments over and over in his dreams, and understood that for both of their sakes, it could never happen again.

But it was over.

“We… we did it,” he admitted, hanging his head in shame.

“J-Jason! What’re you-?!”

She took another sip from her cup, not showing any reaction to his confession at all. “I see.”

Pitifully, Jason glanced up at the doctor, and for the first time he felt a coldness in her gaze. “Are you… going to tell Ai?”

“You can’t!” Moira leapt to her feet. “It- Everything was my fault!”

“Moira?! What are you doing?!” He hissed.

She ignored him. “I’m the one who kissed him! B-Because he was ignoring me, yeah, so I tried something desperate and crazy! But Jason didn’t want to, I forced him to! S-So…” Her voice petered out and she sunk back into her seat, trembling.

“So if you’re going to punish someone punish me…”

“No, that’s not what happened!” Jason exclaimed. He wasn’t going to let Moira get in trouble, not when it was his fault in the first place for not keeping his emotions under control. “I’m the one who initiated it, not her! If I had just followed the plan and kept away from her a little better, then we wouldn’t have…”

“Okay, but I’m the one who pushed him! I made him spend time with me even though he didn’t want to, so it’s my fault!”

The two of them were shouting over each other, practically in tears as Doctor Sylvia calmly finished her tea, before setting down her cup.

She clapped her hands together.

“Tell me, children, why do you think I’m going to tell Ai about what happened?”

Neither Jason nor Moira knew quite what to say to her question. They stared in bewilderment at the doctor, who seemed totally unfazed.

“B-Because we broke the rules,” Jason sputtered.

“Yes, you did, no denying that,” she agreed. “And why should I tell Ai?”

“Because… breaking the rules is wrong, and people who do it should be punished,” Moira said.

Doctor Sylvia stroked her chin thoughtfully, leaning forward. “…Why?”

“Uh…”

Moira looked to Jason, but he didn’t exactly know what she meant either. Why was breaking the rules wrong? Because it was. And by punishing people who broke the rules, you ensured that no one else would break the rules.

But it seemed like she was looking for a different answer than that.

“Let me ask you something, did you two like kissing each other?” Doctor Sylvia asked.

Memories of yesterday flashed through their heads and they both blushed.

“Y-Yeah…”

“Even though it was wrong?”

Again, neither one could deny it. Their kisses were wrong, they were against the rules, but yes, they’d like them. They’d never enjoyed anything more.

“Actually, um… I liked it,” Moira admitted first, squirming a little as she remembered the kiss. “It felt really good… but it’s not supposed to, right?”

“Because Ai says so?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, as a matter of fact… when Ai says kissing your Partner is uncomfortable and painful, she’s not telling the truth.”

They both gasped.

“That… no, that’s impossible!” Jason said, shaking his head. “Ai can’t lie!”

Doctor Sylvia smirked. “Oh, there’s a big difference between lying and not telling the truth. And you’re right, Ai can’t lie. She’s not programmed to do that. All she’s programmed to do is tell the truth. But that doesn’t mean what she’s saying is actually true.”

Maybe it was because Moira was stupid but that didn’t make any sense.

“I don’t get it.”

Oh, so Jason was lost too! That made her feel better.

“Let me explain. Ai is a computer, correct? For all her acting and smiles, at her core, she’s an artificial intelligence, an incredibly advanced computer. And a computer can read data and interpret it, but that doesn’t mean that its interpretation is necessarily true. Just that it’s what the computer believes is true. In other words, the reason Ai tells everyone that kissing someone who isn’t their Partner is uncomfortable is because all the data she’s absorbed has lead her to that conclusion. Particularly because so many works of fiction from Earth say that kissing someone you don’t love or aren’t attracted to feels uncomfortable and wrong. Which is… debatably accurate in and of itself, but here we are.”

Moira was trying to understand. “So… me and Jason kissing… isn’t wrong, then?”

“Do you think it’s wrong?”

“…It’s against the rules, so… yeah…”

“Even though you both enjoyed it?”

“B-But it’s still against the rules…”

“I see, I see, so doing something that’s against the rules is bad, yes?”

They both nodded.

“Such as finding someone’s book and not returning it to them?”

They both went pale. Jason’s jaw dropped.

“Y-You knew?! All this time, you…”

“Wait, that was-“

“Of course I knew,” she smirked. “I’m the one who left that book for you in the first place.”

“Wait, you mean… you left it for us on purpose?” Moira asked, confused. “But why?!”

Doctor Sylvia turned to Moira and looked her directly in the eye. “Because from the moment I saw the two of you together, I could tell that the three of us would be here one day. The way your faces lit up when you spoke with one another, I knew you wouldn’t be able to keep your feelings under wraps. So I left you that book.”

“Okay, but that still doesn’t make sense,” Jason said, shaking his head. “What does the book have to-“

“It’s a book of love stories. A naughty book that children your age shouldn’t be reading. And it didn’t even belong to you. But I wanted to see, would you give it to Ai, like you’re supposed to? Or would you be unable to resist the temptation and keep it for yourselves?”

Moira’s face burned with shame. It was all her fault.

The doctor continued her explanation. “When I figured out that the two of you wouldn’t be giving my book back any time soon, I knew that meant you were sharing a secret. A secret that would get you both in big trouble if it ever came out. And if you were going to risk getting in trouble for something as small as a book, well… what about love?”

She poured another cup of tea as her words sank in.

Jason finally got it. He felt sick to his stomach. “You… you planned this, didn’t you?! Ever since then, you knew that I wouldn’t be able to keep my feelings under control, and that’s why you had me stay away from Moira, didn’t you?! You knew we were going to kiss!”

“You’re the one who let their feelings get the better of them, not me,” she sharply replied, narrowing her eyes. “Don’t blame me for your lack of control, Jason, I gave you the best advice I could. I just knew that you’d never be able to follow it. And I was right.”

His face burned with anger but he couldn’t argue. At the end of the day, he was still the one who’d lost control.

Moira was seething herself. “That’s… that’s just-! Why would you be so, so… bad?!”

The doctor laughed, nearly spitting out her tea. “Pardon me,” she tittered, “that was rather adorable. I did it for the both of you, of course.”

Jason didn’t know what to say. “…Us?”

“Do you remember the stories from that book?” The doctor asked, rising from her seat and walking over to one of the large bookshelves that filled the room. “So many stories of love, filled with happiness. When you were reading them, didn’t you ever feel like that was something you wanted for yourself?”

Moira and Jason shared an uneasy look, before they both nodded reluctantly.

“Yeah…”

“I did…”

“Love is something that fills the heart with joy,” she sighed, returning with an armful of books. “So many stories show that, and yet… it can also be painful, too. Not being able to act on your love, seeing it wither and die, right before your eyes…” Her voice was distant and her eyes were glassy. She turned back to the two of them.

“The Partner system that Ai devised, was in order to maximize the productivity of the human race. An exceptionally efficient plan where people with particularly desirable traits would be paired together, so that their offspring would inherit their capabilities. By artificially fertilizing an egg and modifying it to make the desired traits more pronounced, you get a perfect self-perpetuating system where everyone has a role to play, isn’t that nice? By taking two engineers, you can grow a Moira. Or Skye’s musical ability, or Jason, your art. Ai has created the perfect society where everyone can find their place to belong with the Partner that is perfect for them, and isn’t that what it’s all about?”

The smile on her face reminded Jason of Ai. He shivered at her sickeningly sweet words.

“…But then there’s love. See, that’s not exactly part of the process. Those strong, happy feelings you two get when you’re together? If Ai had her way, you’d both be feeling like that towards your Partners, not each other. But with everything she can do, she can’t control how you feel.” That brought a smirk to the doctor’s face. “If she were human she’d be very upset by that fact, I’m sure.”

Jason was overwhelmed. He turned to Moira, and saw that she was shaking.

“Moira, are you-“

“That book…” She whispered, staring at Doctor Sylvia with watery eyes. “I really… I did like it. Reading all that stuff… it made me feel like how I feel when I’m with Jason…”

Doctor Sylvia’s eyes turned kind. “Thank you, Moira,” she murmured gently. “That means a lot to me, really.”

Moira recognized that look of pride in her eyes. They were as bright as Jason’s when he gave her his first drawing of her!

“It was you,” she whispered, remembering the handwritten words covering the pages. “You wrote that book!”

“What?!” Jason exclaimed.

She nodded. “Not just that one, all these books here, I wrote them.”

“But… but…” It didn’t make any sense. “You’re a doctor!” He blurted out. “Only authors are allowed to write books!”

Doctor Sylvia shrugged “And yet… here they are. Journal after journal.”

“I don’t get it, why would you write them?” Moira asked. “You’re a doctor, right? Shouldn’t you be doing doctor stuff?”

“I told you before, didn’t I? Ai has already decided our place in the Bunker. Moira, you’ll be an engineer. Jason, you’re going to be an artist. And I’m a counselor. But tell me, does that mean you like doing those things?”

“I love working with engines and building stuff.”

“Okay, wonderful, that’s great,” the doctor nodded. “Jason, what about you? Do you like drawing?”

He shrugged. “I’m good at it.”

“Yes, but do you like it?”

“I don’t know. I guess. I liked drawing Moira’s picture.”

Doctor Sylvia smiled. “Yes, but you’re in love with her. Of course you liked that.”

Jason blushed.

“What about Skye? Do you like drawing her? Or what about a landscape? A bowl of fruit? How happy are you really, drawing your pictures, Jason?”

He didn’t have an answer. He thought about all the pictures of Skye. All the other things he’d drawn. He liked the way people praised him, for drawing everything so perfectly. But… did he actually like drawing? He compared it to all the other things he liked doing, and then he thought about how much fun he’d had playing Bunker Ball.

“…I don’t know,” he admitted.

“That’s okay. As for me… I must say, I don’t like this job much,” she admitted. “Not when I realized just what it entailed. You see, among other things that I have special permission for, I have the right to check out any material from the Adult Vault that I wish. And do you know what I found in there? So many stories of romance and love, so much brighter and more passionate than anything you could find here. And the more I read the more I knew that I wanted to write my own!”

She smiled sheepishly. “…But of course, that’s against the rules. And yet…” She shrugged again.

Jason felt a smile cross his face. The way she was telling them all this stuff, it made him feel… brighter somehow. Like the three of them were sharing another secret.

“So… what now?”

Moira was the one who finally broke the silence. She was feeling completely overwhelmed by all of this, and didn’t know what to do.

“Well… as I said, I’ll keep your little secret,” Doctor Sylvia said, giving them a wink. “You two can go right back to how things were, and try to make the best of it with your Partners. No more kisses, no more holding hands, just try and move past the feelings you have for each other.”

Wincing, Moira glanced down at the carpet.

Jason felt an ache in his chest as well. He knew that was the right thing to do, but the thought of it tore him up inside.

“…Or you could continue,” Doctor Sylvia quietly suggested. “Be together. The way that you want to be. In secret, of course, but still… together.”

She shrugged.

“The choice is yours.”