Chapter 11:

Confession of a Soiled Heart

I’m in love with a Chinese Nationalist

On the way to Sawa’s house, it only just came to me. Why the hell was Lei Mei so talkative today? After everything that happened at school, I would have expected her to talk to me even less. I will have to leave this for later though, can’t let myself get distracted anymore.

Finally, I arrived at Sawa’s door. I need to think of something to say, I can’t just barge in like it's my house. What would be a suitable excuse to let me in?

Wait… Homework! I’ll just say I'm here to give her some homework she missed by leaving early.

After knocking on the door, Sawa’s mother answered.

“Oh my goodness Taji! How have you been, you haven’t come over in so long!”

“Hello, Mrs Sawa. I have been good, thank you. How about yourself?”

“I have been great, come inside Taji. Satoko is upstairs in her room, I’ll bring up some tea for you two.”

“Okay, thank you.”

I’m stupid. Her mother literally knows me.

I walked upstairs and stood outside Sawa’s door. Sweat was starting to cover my entire body.

My hand reached out to knock on the door but I couldn’t bring myself to actually do it. I have never seen Sawa in such a state, seeing her cry… I just can’t bring myself to think of it. It crumbles my heart. Despite her personality, she was always there for me when I needed her and I was always there for her.

“Taji… I know you’re out there, I heard mum let you in. Just come in already.”

I did as I was told. Just like the pathetic dog, I am, however, this time it was of free will.

“Saw- Satoko, are you alri-” before I even finished my sentence she jumped at me. Crushing me onto the floor she hugged me with full force.

In a soft tone, Sawa asked “Can you forgive me Taji? I’m really sorry.” as she kept hugging me tighter.

I can’t tell if she is trying to be cute or if she’s threatening to crush me.

“What are you sorry for?”

“Everything, Taji, I made Tomoko do all of this.”

“Huh…? What do you mean?”

“I didn’t want things to end up like this, I thought I could trust Tomoko to listen to me and not go overboard but she did what she wanted anyway. It’s my fault.”

“I don’t understand, what do you mean? what did you tell her to do? Also, can you get off me, this is too uncomfortable?”

“Oh, sorry, you can sit on the bed. Anyways, so… you know all the pictures Tomoko took of you sleeping in bed with her?”

“Yeah the ones which got spread over the school.”

“Yes, those. Well, I told her to do that. It was supposed to try to get Lei to look at you as a bad person who goes around and sleeps with women. Tomoko did as I asked her but Lei did not seem to care about it.”

“Why was this your plan?”

“Taji, how stupid can you be? Do you really want to force me to say it?”

“Yes, because I don’t see any logical reason as to why you would do any of this. Also, why were you looking for Tomoko in the infirmary room?”

“I was in the infirmary because that’s where Tomoko agreed to bring you but there was a slight alteration in the plan which ended with Tomoko drooling all over you just to annoy me.”

“But why did you plan all of this? What were you trying to achieve?”

“Honestly, I’m embarrassed to say it. I regretted it after it started.”

“Regretted what, what was all of this for.”

“Taji… I love you. I’ve been trying to make you realise this but you’re so damn stupid. It was starting to get frustrating, you constantly looking over at Lei, smirking as you stare at her. Brainlessly drooling. I hated looking at it. So I wanted to make Lei hate you, I wanted to make everyone hate you or at least think bad of you. I wanted to be the only person you need, the only person who believes in you.”

“Really? I never thought you would look at me like this. You have been treating me like a pet the past year or two, I don’t even know when it even began anymore. Even so, I’ve known you so long, that I feel more sibling-type love rather than any other for you.”

“It’s ok… I understand... You don’t need to say anything else. I just needed to get this off my chest.”

“Tea and snacks have arrived!” Mrs Sawa shouted as she bursts into the room.

Sawa and I both turned at looked at her mother, trying to notify her that this was a bad time. However, she didn’t get the message and carried on.

“I made some green tea and some cakes for you to eat, Taji, Sakoto, come grab a bite.”

I didn’t want to be rude and leave now. I stuffed my mouth with cake and flushed it all down with the boiling tea.

“Thank you for these amazing cakes and tea Mrs Sawa but I have to cut it short today.”

“Oh, it was nice having you here again Taji, come over more often, your company is always nice to have.”

“Yes, I’ll try, thank you again for the hospitality.”

I didn’t want to be rude but I probably won’t be coming back soon. Sawa may not even look at me now for a while, then again, she was the one scheming this entire time. For whatever reason, I don’t feel angry about it… actually, I feel relieved. My shoulders feel light and my back feels free.

This talk has made me realise some things. Now that this is over, maybe Tomoko will finally decide to let go of that picture and fix the drama she caused. However, now is the perfect time to… to… to do what…?

Huh, what is there for me to do? I usually would just call Kingo but I haven’t been able to do that recently, he has been acting a bit weird. Why is that? Wait, could it be that he liked Tomoko? I think he mentioned that but I just can’t remember, this is bad.

I quickly pulled up my phone and called Kingo. We set up a location to meet up. I really need to clear things up with him.

A short jog to the park and I was there. I looked around trying to find Kingo but he wasn’t here yet, he was definitely running late as per usual.

“Taji!!!” Kingo’s voice came from around the corner.

I peeked over to see how far he was, next thing I knew I was looking up at the sky. What the hell happened?

“Taji! You okay?” Kingo asked while pulling me up.

“Yeah, I’m okay, what happened? Wait why are you holding a frying pan?”

“You called me at a bad time, I didn’t get the chance to put it away, I had run out to make it here.”

“So you decided to smack me with a frying pan?”

“Oh, no that was you looking out the corner while I sprinted with my pan, you just ended up in the way.”

“Why are you running with it, where were you?”

“I just said I didn't have time to leave it behind since I had to run out.”

“Run out of where?”

“Out of the kitchen.”

“What kitchen?”

“My kitchen.”

“What were you doing there”

“What kind of question is that? What do you do in a kitchen with a frying pan Taji! Think, Taji, Think.”

“Oh… wait no, you’re right, that makes sense. Why didn’t you put it down and then run out, wouldn’t it be easier to run without it?”

“If you think about it properly… properly… properly… you know what, valid point. I did not put that into consideration but what if I forgot where I left it, huh?”

“It’s big enough to cook an ostrich egg on it, you’ll be fine, I would believe in you Kingo.”

“Aww, thanks Taji! But I’m not cooking an ostrich egg, I don't even know where to buy one.”

“Okay, Kingo, that’s not the point. I wanted to tell you that there is nothing between me and Tomoko.”

“Why did you make me run all this way for something you could have told me on the phone? Honestly, I thought this was something important like some super deep spy movie detective investigation case which needs to be kept top secrete from everyone and make sure that no one is listening to our phone call.”


“You heard me, I won’t repeat myself, they might be listening”

“Who might be listening?”

“You’re so boring Taji. Either way, I don’t care about what goes on between you and Tomoko. I just think she’s hot. Other than that I don’t care.”

“Really? I thought you were avoiding doing stuff with me because of it.”

“Oh no, not at all, my grandma has been staying with us so I’ve been spending time with her, that’s why I haven’t got you to come out recently but you seemed plenty busy regardless without me, haha.”

“Damn, this bothered me for nothing then.”

“Don’t worry about it, since you’re here, wanna go get some food?”

“You’re holding a frying pan and wearing an apron, you sure you want to go eat like this?”

“No, I won't go like this,” Kingo replied as he took his apron off and threw it into a random trash can along with the pan.

Well, now that this is sorted, I feel like I have made good progress with my relations recently. Tomoko should now be out of my way, Sawa is definitely out of the way, Kingo never had issues with me and Lei Mei doesn’t seem to care about anything that happened.

In the end, we ended up going back to Kingo’s place since neither of us had our wallets, so he didn't need to throw his stuff in the trash.