Level 6-3

Of course, the meeting of the star-crossed lovers had to wait a while. After all, I was here to ... celebrate my father’s passing. Grieve! I meant I was here to grieve with my Mom.

The day after I arrived, we went to the cemetery. My sister and I mostly just stood by and watched her do her thing. Putting some flowers on the grave, lighting some candles. When she bowed in front of the grave to pray or something we followed suit. I didn’t really pray. Or talk to my dad. I guess, that’s what people do. However, my mind also wasn’t occupied with all the other stuff going on in my life. That was a nice change of pace, I suppose.

On our way home my sister and I walked a few steps ahead of our mom.

„You’re good?“ I asked her.

„Yep.“ She listlessly stared down at the road.

„You don’t look good, though. Spacing out a bit.“

„Ugh, yeah. I just never really know how to behave with these kinds of things,“ she replied.

„I get what you mean. I mean ... we’re not really grieving anyone ... right?“ It was a bold thing to say of me, but I sensed that she felt the same way.

„That’s exactly it. But you know, anything for mom.“

„I’ve always wondered ... he wasn’t that different to mom, than he was to us, right?“

„Yeah, he was always just kind of a bitch.“

That statement made me choke on air.

She patted me on the back comically.

„Jesus, I hope she didn’t hear.“

I looked behind us. Our mom should have been out of earshot.

„It’s so weird though,“ I said „how can you still love someone like that?“

„I guess he’s not always been this way,“ she responded.

„But at some point ... when he started to change ... we all suffered under him. And yet we go to his grave every year, as if nothing happened.“

„I guess, when you’ve been in love with someone for 20, 30 years ... it just becomes more difficult to let him go. Maybe mom is just grieving the man she married. Not the one who died.“

I took was just looking at the ground now.

„Maybe, if it’s any consolation, it’ll be the same with you,“ she said suddenly.

I looked up at her and just uttered a confused „huh?“

„With your guy. Maybe, he’s come to like you so much, that he doesn’t care you lied about ... you.“

„That’s something that can only happen in a Rom-Com.“

She chuckled.

„Maybe so. Maybe, if it doesn’t work out ... well, guess that’s just Karma. But you’ll move on. Eventually. I think she will too.“

I gradually slowed down. My sister noticed after a few steps and turned around to me. We waited for our mother to catch up and went home together.