Death Bus for Cutie

Stepping out of his office building, he lit up his cigarette and headed for the nearest tree overlooking the park. He could’ve sat on one of the benches, but he wasn’t going to risk having someone sit next to him and start chatter. Xander had been more antisocial than usual for the past three days; he blamed it on a change in schedule. He couldn’t function properly if his schedule was even slightly changed; and inefficiency greatly troubled him.

While he still got coffee in the afternoon, it wasn’t the same; the habit had not been fulfilled; the compulsion had not been met. But going at the late hours of her shift would be too much of an inconvenience. He could run into them again. It was fairly obvious that Victor and Max were not too keen on seeing him around their closest female friend. ‘Why should I care about upsetting the two idiots?’ He didn’t; but a part of himself was worried about upsetting her.

Just as he predicted, someone sat down on the secluded bench in front of him. Xander wanted to laugh out loud at the irony of his situation- ‘Out of all the parks in the world…’

Taisa was happily eating her bagel and contemplating the greenery before her. That was until she felt someone sit down beside her. While they were aware of each other’s presence, no one said anything.

“I thought you’d be working hard between these hours, not loitering around in parks,” she broke the ice.

“I work there,” he pointed to the tall glass building behind them. “Why aren’t you at one of your classes?”

“I’m done for the day. On Tuesdays I have two hours to kill between my classes and work, and it would take me 40 minutes to get home, 40 minutes to get back, so I might as well waste time while I’m near.” She shrugged her shoulders and took another bite of her bagel. “I like not feeling like everything is in a rush.”

“So you just sit around and do nothing for two hours” he had a hard time comprehending how someone could just not do anything.

Taisa rolled her eyes at him. “Well, I usually do more sketching for my designs. But I can’t draw and eat at the same time; well I could, but it goes against my ‘no rush’ philosophy.”

Xander took a moment to study her and seemed deep in thought about something.

“You could draw in my office. If you can stay quiet.”

Blinking slowly, she took a moment to give him an answer. “How’s your lighting?” well, more of a question.

“Pardon me?”

“The lighting; in your office. I need a good light source so I can get the colors and the textures right. I can’t sketch if you work in a Batcave.”

“… I have floor-to-ceiling windows.”

Swallowing the last of her bagel, she brushed off the crumbs from her clothes and stood up.

“Okay, lead the way.”

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Colored papers and dozens of colored pencils were strewn across his usually pristine coffee table. Sitting on one of the couches in his office, Taisa was sketching away on a small easel. How so many things could fit in just one bag was beyond him.

He sometimes stole a few glances at her, but she was so engrossed in getting her ideas down that she never noticed him. Her tiny hands were a flurry as she kept switching between colored pencils and going back to her paper. The way the warm light fell gave her dark hair even more shine and made the tiny specks of dust that danced freely around her look like flecks of gold. Her stillness fascinated him. If it weren’t for the quick movement of her hands, he would have thought she was a statue. ‘- or a painting. She moves so much the rest of the time, you’d think she’s made out of quicksilver. A painting that moves; that’s basically a screensaver. Yeah, ‘You’re the screensaver of my life’ is a great compliment to woo a girl,” he thought sardonically, quickly dismissing the jolt in his chest that arose when he had thought of the concept of wooing; and her.

He looked back at his monitor, realizing that he had spent enough time in dream mode for his monitor to go into screensaver mode. Xander had never paid much thought to it before, but the lighting in his office was really good.

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After an hour and 40 minutes, Taisa began packing her things, ready to go to work. She saw him try to get up and waved for him to sit down.

“I’ll find my way out on my own, don’t worry. You stay there and keep making money – or playing solitaire.” A sly grin bloomed on her face as she hoisted the volume-defying bag on her shoulder.

She walked towards the door and lingered for a bit after opening it, pondering her next move. Turning slightly to him she dared to ask, “I’ll see you later?” A light trace of hope could be sensed in her query.

He did more than just pick up on it; he glomped onto it.

“Sure.”

As he caught the flash of her smile before the door fully closed, an ease like no other came over him at the thought that he didn’t need to worry about upsetting her.

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For the past weeks, a new routine had settled in. Tuesdays were spent in silence typing and sketching, while the rest of the week was filled with end-of-the-shift coffee banter – and sometimes dinner. Some of his employees were suspicious of her presence, but it became part of office gossip that she must be his girlfriend. So far, he was oblivious to all the rumors.

This particular night, they had settled on just the banter and a long walk towards the bus station.

“I swear I will burn everything that has shoulder pads. Do you know how hard it is to make a goddamn rose out of shoulder pads?” Taisa went on her tirade against shoulder pads, wavy inseams, and other things he knew nothing about. Surprisingly, all her chatter about mundane things relaxed him; it was like a sea of random bits of information that he didn’t need to bother with or comprehend. They could just wash over him like waves, engulf him completely and let him drift away into a comfortable lull.

“Progress causes distress. At least you’re making some.”

“What a line pulled out of the pits of self-help hell. I cringed so hard I gave myself a six-pack.” Taisa bent over to emphasize her point.

“Moving forward is painful.”

“Ohmygod, it’s an eight-pack now.”

“Touch the stars with your shoulder…pads.”

She gave him an incredulous look, “Your attempts at humor are causing me physical pain. Were you sent by the Satan of Shoulder Pads to torment me?! I bet your coat has shoulder pads, minion of evil!” she lifted her arms to pat him on the shoulders, all the while suppressing a laugh.

Xander was at first taken aback by the sudden contact, but the pleasant wave of electricity that went through his spine emboldened him to generate more touch. Putting his hands over hers, he pressed them more onto his shoulders and leaned a little, “Ah, it appears I have been compromised.”

She burst into laughter at his deadpan delivery, puffs of air grazing his cheek. He could tell she had garlic today, but he couldn’t tell why it didn’t bother him.

Across the street, the beeping of an out-of-cash ATM could be heard.

‘Aww man, this one too? Goddamn landlord making me pay cash… Get with the times geezer. There’s bound to be one…What the? Is that Xander? With a girl?....Tai?!?!’ Victor stared in disbelief at the pair.

Unaware of the incoming blond, Xander and Taisa were still merrily laughing while holding on to each other.

She felt lightheaded; happy - and it worried her. Every time that she felt happy, something bad was looming around the corner, just waiting to pounce and tear to shreds her joy. Acting on that instinct, she quickly backed away from him, as if waiting for the doom to swoop in between them.

Something was really close to swooping in between them; no one was really expecting Victor.

“Yo… Tai…” Victor started uneasily, “Xander,” his name was said a little harsher than he wanted, “What’re you guys doing here? At this hour?”

“Hey, Vic!” Taisa smiled to hide her agitated state, “I was just on my way to the bus stop. And Xander was nice enough to walk me there. ‘Cuz late, and dark, and I, girl.”

Victor and Xander locked glares with each other for a brief moment. “How chivalrous of him. The streets must be so much safer with him roaming around to protect young, unsuspecting girls.”

“I moonlight as a vigilante escort.”

Victor’s eyes narrowed even further, “Well, you can get back to your moonlighting. I’ll walk with her the rest of the way,” a very strained smile followed, “Thanks.”

Xander looked at Taisa as she meekly smiled and nodded, “I’ll be fine. Thanks for the walk.”

Not looking too happy with the situation, he nonetheless conceded to her unspoken request for him to leave. With a short nod, Xander left.

“What.Was.That.?” Taisa turned to Victor in confusion.

“What was what?”

“You and his unholiness acting all lovey-dovey.”

She scoffed, “Pfft. There’s nothing of that sort going on between us. I was at the end of my shift and he just offered to walk with me. Big deal.”

“It is a VERY big deal.”

“I think you’re just making it that way.”

“No, I’m not. Look, his kind does not randomly seek out the company of other people. Only if he has a motive. I’m sure it’s something very sinister.”

“You make him sound like a reptilian overlord trying to brainwash me into joining his cult.”

Frustrated that she could not see things his way, Victor began gritting his teeth in an attempt to keep his cool. “I’m telling you this for your own good. Nothing good will come out of… whatever he has in mind. Just shoo him away next time when he comes near you; get management to ban him or something for harassing you.”

“But he’s not.”

“Just tell him off.”

Taisa crossed her arms defiantly, “Maybe I don’t want to.”

This he was not expecting. “Whaat? You mean to tell me, you LIKE ice lord leering around you?”

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. Either way, doesn’t give you the right to tell me with whom I should or shouldn’t fraternize. I don’t say anything about your loud alcoholic friends and one-week girlfriends.”

“It’s not the same thing!”

“Why? Because you’re a guy? And you can “handle” things?”

Victor felt she was straying away from the main subject, “Why won’t you trust me on this? I really don’t get what there is to like about that guy?”

“Maybe it’s the fact that he doesn’t belittle what I want to do in life with every chance that he gets.” Taisa was visibly irritated now.

“I don’t do that, Tai,” answered Victor in a mournful voice.

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“You clearly don’t know the difference between friendly advice and belittlement.”

“I can clearly see when someone doesn’t take me seriously. And don’t bullshit me that you’re just being a friend.”

“As a friend, I believe I shouldn’t give you false hopes about your prospects.”

“Oh, spare me. I have the rest of the world to tell me that I’ll fail, I don’t have what it takes, there will be others better than you, and so forth. But you, YOU – are supposed to be the one that backs me up, encourages me to the deep end, and even when I fall flat on my ass, tells me that it’s ok to fail and try again. YOU are supposed to be MY friend, not the world’s echo.” Her voice quivered lightly, eyes glassy, but her chest lighter.

In spite of his flair for the teatrical, there was no acting involved when the shock of Taisa’s words transfigured his features. The revelation that she harbored such feelings and reproaches was indeed physically painful. “Tai, I…”

“How would it have been if I told you at every one of your ideas that they suck, you shouldn’t do it, you have no chance? How would it have been if I just cut your wings and stopped you from dreaming, even if both of us knew the slight chance of it becoming true?”

At that moment, the bus passed them.

“Ah, goddammit.” She sprinted the rest of the way towards the bus station, not bothering to grace Victor with any parting words.

Looking at her rapidly retreating figure, a heavy, weighted feeling of remorse pressed down on Victor. There were no jokes, witty remarks or weird media references he could make that would get him back on Taisa’s good side this time. And he knew it; felt it.