The Mechanical Deer

The mechanical deer spirited across the empty parking lot at 30 mph. Each step was a miracle of technology. The deer's internal computer had to decide where to put its foot and how to balance its body on its feet. Humans and all legged animals know how to do this by instinct, but robots have suffered for the longest time. It was only recently that a robot could do anything resembling walking.

However, running wasn't the only thing the deer could do.

A man in a baseball uniform held his baseball in this hand. He was a hot shot MLB pitcher and the perfect candidate for the Hall of Fame. Frankly, he was only here for advertising purposes, but that didn't matter as he tapped the tip of his cap and pitched a 100 mph fastball at the deer. The deer didn't show interest in the ball until the very last moment when it ducked away from the ball, dodging it by mere inches and not losing any speed.

The deer's antlers echo located everything that surrounds it, creating a constantly updating model of the world and reacting accordingly.

The pitcher walked up to an object covered in a tarp and yanked it off, revealing a baseball pitching machine aimed at the deer. Automatically, the machine shot at the deer at a rate of 5 baseballs per second. The deer ran around the machine, dodging every ball. Eventually, the machine ran out of baseballs, and the deer stood victoriously on the baseball filled parking lot.

The audience clapped at the deer's incredible performance. No, I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about the legendary billionaire investors who watched the deer's performance on a flat screen TV 20 feet away from them.

"Investors," said one of the two men standing next to the TV, "As you saw, this deer is the future of robotics, and we are looking for investors to join us in this future."

The other man fidgeted with a remote controller, and the deer appeared from backstage and approached the investors. The investors wowed, and one of them attempted to pet it. The deer dodged the hand.

"Can I pet it?" the investor asked after the deer walked back to its creators.

"Sorry, it's programmed to assume that every incoming object is a threat and dodges it."

"I think we are done here," the investor said, getting up and leaving the room.

The two men stood there awkwardly, but the remaining four investors sat there as if nothing happened. They were legendary investors. This was just Tuesday for them. Well, actually it was Sunday.

"I'm assuming that you were joking about not being able to pet it," the investor on the far right said.

"Well, as I said, it wasn't designed to do tha-"

"I'm out."

"Okay." The man looked at the remaining three legendary investors. The three legendary investors stared him down. He broke into a sweat. "So, we are asking for $100,000 for a 20% stake of our company."

One of the legendary investors raised her hand like a second grader.

"Yes."

The investor's hand dropped down.

"Can you ride it like a horse?"

The man sighed.

"No, it can take a maximum load of 20 pounds."

A collective groan came from the investors.

"Come on!" another investor yelled at the two men. "What's even the point of having that thing exist?! I'm out!"

"Well, ugh..." the man said.

The guy with the control remote for the deer cleared his throat.

"The deer is a proof of concept. Its antlers are incredibly advanced and could be used for self driving cars. Its legs and body are powerful, swift, and lifelike. This deer could be used remotely and be used to explore locations too dangerous for humans. There are millions of uses for this deer and for potential future technologies born from this deer's concept. So, tell me, are you in or out?"

The investor who asked if she could ride it raised her hand to speak. "I forgot to say that I was out."

The two men turned to the final investor. He was an older man with white hair and a beard.

"Are you planning to make a dog version?" the investor said.

"We can make one."

"I'm in!"

Confetti and balloons fell from the ceiling, and people in lobster costumes stormed the stage, dancing like there was no tomorrow. One of the lobsters handed the men a suitcase full of money. The men sighed in relief.