Chapter 37:

The Opposite Sex

My Childhood Best Friend is a VTuber! (OsananaV)

The young maid, Chika, turns her head back to face me - the cunning glare in her eyes makes my heart skip a beat.

“What do you mean, do I know what I want?

The question came almost out of the blue; it’s a lot more direct than Chika was last time - but a part of it resonates with me.

It’s a fact that I know exactly what she means, why I even suggested I didn’t is beyond me. There are just ways to bring up some topics and this kind of confrontation is not something I’m used to.

Have a little more tact, please!

“It’s obvious from the look in your eyes that this is another consultation about your beloved Koi, yet you’ve made no moves.”


Even Chika’s already aware that things weren’t as straightforward as I might’ve imagined before.

Beloved Koi.

I’m probably just going to brush past that, right?

She’s not wrong.

I’m here, yet again, for advice.

“You never cease to amaze me with that ability of yours.”

The girl can read minds! Even a glance in my direction with minimal talking can lead to a sound analysis of my thoughts.

She’s got the power of deduction - Chika Holmes, master detective.

“I wouldn’t call it particularly amazing by any stretch.”

The double-agent maid averts her gaze toward the ground. She blinks furiously as if something is stuck in her eye.

“What would you call it then?”

“I’d probably call it a little unfortunate.”

“A little unfortunate? Like a reading you’d get at a shrine?”

“Don’t play silly, that’s a small fortune.”

“In some places, a small fortune is considered a lot.”
Chika winces for a moment; it’s a display that either tells me she’s cringing at my silly pun-esque joke or trying to hold back a laugh.

Probably both, so I consider it at least partially successful.

“You mentioned your astonishment at the ability last time we met too, so I’ll tell you the secret.”

Her face loses the scent of humour that lingered on there previously and is replaced with a forced calm. All of Chika’s features are unflexed in the most unnatural way possible.

A stone-cold face.

Not to be confused with a stone-cold killer, such defamatory marks would be inconsistent with her character.

The way she talks about her secret is as if she’s an anime protagonist finally confessing their hidden talent.

I await her next words with bated breath.

“It would seem that despite what all the evidence may suggest, I’m actually a fool.”

“What all the evidence would suggest? Are people writing research papers on you now?”

She states this as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

The confidence in one's own ability that I so wish I had!

“No, but if they did, then I’m sure it would provide conclusive proof that I’m among the more intelligent of the population.”

“But you just said that you’re a fool!”

She’s lost it, she’s completely gone. Chika Holmes has become Chika, the walking contradiction.

“You can be intelligent in one aspect but lacking in another. Take an otaku like yourself, if you walk into a manga store, you’d be one of the most knowledgeable people in the room. If I put you onto a sports team, you instantly become the dumbest.”

This seems like a joke that is built upon the unhealthy stereotype that otaku don’t go outside or know how to do sports. In this case, it’s completely accurate but I would just like to point out that isn’t always the case.

But I will reiterate that in this scenario it very much is the case.

“I feel like there was a lot of wisdom in that back-handed remark.”

“I’m simply just stating the facts.”

Facts have to be proven first!

“So what’s the part you’re lacking in?”

Chika straightens up in her chair, casually picking off pieces of fluff from her shirt - acting utterly uninterested in the conversation at hand while she delivers her next line.

“Matters pertaining to relations with the opposite sex, you could say.”

Come again?

Is she saying that after all of the advice she’s given me, she actually isn’t very good at relationships?

“And I trusted you to help with my issues in this area!”

“That’s not the kind of issue I’m talking about; I helped you with understanding how a girl might feel, that is something that I think I’m relatively good at. I am a girl, after all.”

Seeing the double-agent maid in a vulnerable position like this shatters my previous impression of her; before this I felt like she’s almost been a puppet master, dictating everything behind the scenes.

As I look at her very child-like whimsy at this moment, I’m aware that she really is just a girl.

“Then what kind of issues are you having that make you such a fool?”

Despite our conversation, I feel like we’re avoiding the main reason we went down this topic - the reason for her spectacular ability to read minds.

Everyone, it would seem, is capable of dodging questions they really don’t want to answer.

Even angels themselves.

“When I’m interested in a particular person, even when it would seem as if their attention is directed towards me, it seems their interest does not explicitly lie with me. Sometimes they don’t even fully know that their mind is vested elsewhere.”

There are many words that I can use for Chika; some of them are nice and some of them may be considered more critical. All in all, she’s a wonderful person with a cute appearance and a matching personality.

I’ve noticed that her curiosity may get the better of her judgment sometimes, like when she incessantly prodded into my relationship with Koi. She’s been almost devious in the execution of her goals; demanding me to come here to get the latest spill of information. One thing that I’ve never considered though is that she could be bad at matters of the heart.

She’s everything I imagine a popular girl is, from her looks to her job, to her supposed wealth - which is why those words seem almost impossible for me to believe.

“The guys you’re interested in aren’t interested in you back?”

“Guys, girls - really most people I’ve found myself attracted to. Just like the customers of this cafe, they may say that I am everything, but the look in their eyes makes me aware that I’m only a substitute for what they really want.”

The words are hard to understand, coming from someone so ultimately likable. Even harder to understand, is the reason she decided to tell me all of this anyway.

If I look at the scenario we’re in, we’re talking about this because of Chika’s ability to know when I’m thinking about Koi.

“Does that mean I’m one of those people?”

The ones that she’s attracted to, only to be utterly infatuated with someone else…

That’s the first time I’ve said it, but it's the truth.

I’m infatuated with Koi.

Anyone looking at this from a mile away could see that, I’m sure they already have.

Liber Mercury
Taylor Victoria