The Amateur Afterschool Group Therapy Club

I was barely able to stay awake during class all day today, even right now I just want to close my eyes and sleep. I look up at the clock and there are only a few minutes of school left. Taking all those pills last night sure did make me feel like a zombie. I stayed up all night pretty much lying in bed staring at my ceiling, thinking about my anxieties and life in general. Now that I think about it, it could have caused that episode of dissociative amnesia I had yesterday, but recently I’ve had a few of those episodes again without the meds so who knows.

I put my head down on my desk and give up on trying to pay attention for the rest of class. I don’t know why this teacher likes to talk right up until it’s time to leave anyways. I need to decide if I’m going to go to Sasaki’s club today, he invited me to go after all. As his friend, I would feel bad if I didn’t go but he knows about my situation at home. Now that I think about it the situation is different now. If Mom isn’t home to check if I’m there then technically I can go to this club and Dad would never notice I’m home late.

Who am I trying to convince? I know the only reason I want to go to the club is for him. If Daichi is going to be there then I have to go! This is my chance, if I can get close with him… then maybe we can be together. If only I can get him to remember me just a little bit, I’m sure he will come to understand that we will be perfect for each other. When we were friends many years ago, those were the best and happiest times of my life!

Daichi, I’ve been alone for all these years. I hope you can be the one to help me live some of those good times again. Back when I was happy. Back when things were simpler. Despite my memory always being a blur, I will never forget the few good memories we made together.

I’m suddenly jolted awake by someone accidentally hitting my shoulder with their bag. They walk past me without even an apology. I raise my head to see that half the class has already left, class must have ended a few minutes ago.

“Aika, are you done pretending to be asleep?”

“Huh?” In the corner of my eye, I see Sasaki leaning on the desk beside me. “Uh I wasn’t pretending, I actually fell asleep for a moment there.” I mumble while I rub my eyes.

“Soo, are you coming to the club or not? You can’t just tell me you are coming then ditch me!”

He grabs my arm and tries to pull me out of my chair but I don’t even move a single centimeter.

“When did I say I was going?” I furrow my brow in confusion.

“Last night at my apartment? You told me your Mom isn’t home so you can come right?”

“Oh yea, I must’ve forgotten haha” I try to laugh it off but I’m still lost.

Did I say that for real? I don’t have the slightest recollection of seeing him or even going to his place yesterday. Wait, maybe that explains why I had that pack of cigarettes because he’s the only one who I know that can get them reliably. Dammit, I hope I didn’t say or do anything weird…

“Aika you okay? You seemed out of it last night… and today.” He says in a less playful tone than before.

“I’m fine… And I’m coming to your stupid club, just give me a few minutes. You can go on ahead without me.”

“Okay fineee, I won’t start until you are there! It’s one of the empty clubrooms on the third floor, the room closest to the stairs to the roof I think.”

“Alright, alright.” I gently push him off of me.

“Don’t forget, your little crush is gonna be there hehe” He laughs as he leaves the classroom.

Hmph, he is really trying to use that as bait to get me to join and I'm mad because it's working. He really knows how to get what he wants out of people.

I fight the urge to put my head down and doze off again but after a few minutes, I gather my stuff and make my way toward the clubroom. I get to the third floor and make my way down the completely empty hallways. My steps echo off the walls as I cautiously get closer to the door. I stop a few steps away from the door and take a deep breath. I’m really going to do this?!

I get a glance through the small window on the door and see Daichi, Hayashi, and Sasaki all on their phones, sitting in silence around a rectangular table in the center of the room. The room seems quite cramped, there seems barely any space to walk behind someone who is sitting down. There is a chalkboard on one wall of the room and the adjacent wall has bookshelves with old books on them.

If I go inside right now everyone will focus on me! IT’S TOO AWKWARD! I move to the side of the door and lean back on the wall to recollect myself. I should just go home right now, what if Mom is waiting for me? No no no I can’t be out here right now. But Daichi is inside there… we can be in the same club together. Yes yes yes, I already went over this, I’m going to this club for him. Remember I get him, I can fix my life! I hope I look okay, am I too ugly today? What will I even say to him if I get to speak with him? FUCK! I can’t do this, it’s never too late to give up right?

I instinctively start to walk away from the door but before I get even a few steps away I bump directly into someone. I was going to pretend like I didn’t notice I walked into them but when I look up I realize it is Daichi’s friend.

“Hey are you okay… the club room is that way if that’s what you’re looking for.”He points to the room I was just standing in front of.

With this idiot in the way I can’t escape now. He would tell everyone he saw me and it would make me seem like a weirdo if they knew I ran away like this.

“I noticed you standing there just now, were you having second thoughts about joining?”

I simply nod my head in response. I don’t know why he's speaking to me so casually, I don’t even know him.

“You remember me right? We met yesterday on the roof, I'm Ryo!”

I nod again. I hate this

“Are you nervous?”

I don't know if I should keep nodding my head anymore so I just avert my eyes hoping he will stop talking.

“Don’t worry really. Sasaki told us you were coming. And if it’s Hayashi you’re worried about, trust me she won't do anything to you as long as I’m there.” He puffs out his chest a bit.

“To be honest I was actually looking forward to getting to meet you and I’m sure the others are too…” He says as he smiles awkwardly.

“I know you’re not perfect and you might have some issues, but so do the rest of us, that's why Sasaki thinks we should all join… So I hope you give it a chance.”

His sudden shift to a somber tone at the end makes me regret trying to run away. He seemed pretty serious trying to convince me to not leave.

“Okay…” I finally responded with a single word.

“Perfect! Let’s go inside together, we are already late so they are probably waiting for us.”

I walk behind him as he leads the way a few steps back to the clubroom. He looks back and gives me a reassuring smile before bursting open the door with full force.

“Sorry for being late everyone!”

Everyone looks up in surprise and they immediately look annoyed when they see who it is.

“About time…” Daichi says.

“Yea what the hell were you doing for so long Sakurai?!” Hayashi adds.

“I just got caught up talking with some friends, but guys look who I brought along with me.”

Ryo turns around and signals me to come inside.

The hostile atmosphere of the room disappears as I slowly shuffle my way in front of Sakurai who is still standing at the entrance. I’m not looking up but I can feel everyone’s eyes on me.

“Aika I’m so glad you came!” Sasaki rushes over to me and greets me with a hug.

“Alright everyone it’s time to start. Let's not waste any more time, everyone have a seat!” He says as he guides me to a seat.

I'm seated closest to the door, Ryo sits in front of me across the table along with Hayashi. Beside me is Daichi who is sitting at the other end of the table on my right.

“Before I get into the details of this club, let’s all introduce ourselves. I’ll start with myself. I’m Sasaki Yu, everyone here knows me because you are all my friends… Even you Hayashi!”

“Don’t we all already know each other? Why do we gotta do this?” She complains.

“Just do it anyway.” Ryo says as he stands up.

“I’m Sakurai Ryo. Since we are all going to become friends, you guys can call me by my first name Ryo.” He gives a slight bow before sitting back down and stares at Hayashi in anticipation.

“Ugh, I'm Hayashi Rina, everyone should already know my name. If anyone but Daichi calls me by my first name we will have problems.” She looked a little pissed saying it but calms down and looks at Daichi.

“I’m Daichi Ito, I’m somewhat the co-founder of this club being close to Sakurai. It’s a pleasure you guys came to check it out and I hope you guys stay. I’m looking forward to growing with everyone.”

Daichi looks at me signaling my turn to go.

“Aika Kimura. Sakurai is my friend too. Nice to meet every—.”

“Feel free to call her Ai-Chan, she loves people calling her by that cute nickname.” Sakaki interrupts me before I get to finish.

I look at Sasaki and imagine myself cutting his throat open in my imagination. Hopefully, he can read my mind right now so he knows not to make that joke ever again.

“J-j-just kidding, hahaha…”

Good.

“A-Anyways, the goal of this club is to improve ourselves and change the negative behaviors we exhibit in our everyday lives.”

“So let’s jump right into it, we are gonna need one person to tell us what's something they would like to change about themselves. Since I doubt anyone wants to be the first to open up, let’s decide by whoever loses at rock paper scissors.”

“Alright, first round Ai-Chan vs Daichi, let’s goooo!”

I don’t get time to even process the situation before I get pulled out of my seat by Sasaki and pushed to the front of the room beside the chalkboard. Daichi comes to the front without being forced by Sasaki, and before I know it I’m face to face with him.

“Rock, Paper, Scissors!” I squeeze my eyes closed before Sasaki finishes and I make the hand signal for scissors.

I open my eyes to see that Daichi is holding out paper… Scissors cut paper so I win! I instinctively cut the paper with my fingers and before I realize it I’m directly in contact with Daichi’s hand. I can feel the palm of his hand being squished between my index and middle finger. Hehe, it feels pretty nice. It’s kind of soft but has a rough manly texture to it. This is Daichi’s hand for sure, I bet there is none quite like it. Imagine all the types of things he does with this thing…

“Uhh Aika you win… you can stop now.” Daichi gently says to me, snapping me back into reality.

“Oh… haha…” I try to hold back my smile and squeeze his hand one last time before letting go.

“Oookay… Next, we have Rina- I mean Hayashi vs Ryo!” Sasaki breaks the tension by moving on to the next match.

We take a seat as Ryo and Hayashi both take to the front of the room. They both stand confidently and look ready to fight for real.

“Rock, Paper, Scissors!”

They both aggressively shoot out their hands. Ryo throws out scissors while Hayashi goes for rock.

“Too easy.” She says then smashes his fingers with her fist.

“Oww, wha- what did I do?” Ryo says while holding his hand to his stomach withering in pain.

“Rock beats scissors dummy, I was just playing it out like how the other weird girl did.”

“Haha, nice one Ri- Hayashi! Okay here is the finals, the loser has to be vulnerable with us and share their insecurities… Yayyy!” Sasaki claps his hands in excitement.

Ryo stays at the front of the room still holding his hand in pain while Daichi stands in front of him preparing to battle.

“Rock, Paper, Scissors!”

Ryo switches it up by throwing out rock this time but is beaten as Daichi goes for paper again.

“Paper beats rock.” He gently covers Ryo’s fist with his hand, keeping on the trend that I started.

“Wha- oh. I knew you wouldn’t hurt me like Hayashi did.” He says looking relieved.

“Hmm? Oh, I would if I could but there isn't really a way to do damage with paper…”

“Alright, Ryo… You will be our first tribute. Tell us, what’s something that causes difficulty in your life? It could be anything.” Sasaki jumps into action and waits eagerly for his response.

“You’re kinda putting me on the spot here, I don’t really know what to say.”

“Well, I have an idea of what you might need help with. I wouldn’t have invited you here if I didn’t think we could help you with it.”

“So you already have something you want to help me with.”

“Yep!” Sasaki smiles at him.

“So it doesn't matter what I say I needed help with...”

“Exactly!”

“Ugh, what is it? I know my grades aren’t the greatest, I’m sure my study habits can be improved a little bit.”

“Nobody can help you with that, we are all barely passing our classes in here so that’s not it.”

“Sasaki, don’t make me guess and just tell me.” Ryo slumps his shoulders and looks defeated.

“I’m pretty sure everyone here knows… Hayashi, what do all the girls say about Ryo-Kun.”

“What do they say?” She looks up from her phone “Let’s see… He’s creepy, always tries to hit on them, can barely hold a simple conversation, stares at them too much, tries too hard to be funny…” Hayashi casually spills what everyone says about him.

“Ryo you have always told me you want a girlfriend right? You always complain when girls ignore you and talk to me, so I think maybe we can help you find someone.” Daichi tries to soften the blow to no avail.

“You guys have no filter for me do you.” Ryo sulks.

“Ryo, what do you think? Want us to help you?” Sasaki grabs Ryo’s hands and asks him eagerly.

“I mean sure if it’s that bad everyone notices then what do I have to lose?”

“Alright, perfect. I know exactly how we can help you with that.” Sasaki looks over to Hayashi. “This is exactly why I wanted her in here today. You can talk to Hayashi one on one! You’re a lucky guy, so many boys would love this opportunity and there is no better way to practice other than this.”

“With her, h-how is this gonna help me? She should be the final boss or something, have you heard the way she talks to people like me?!”

“Aww Ryo, I won’t bite…” Hayashi smiles mischievously.

“Please let me talk to Kimura first or something!”

“Oh, you want to talk to Ai-Chan? I guess that can work too, I’m sure she won't mind right?”

…

They set up two chairs side by side at the front of the room and I’m back to being the center of attention once again. I’m face to face with Ryo in front of everyone but this time everyone sits in a semi-circle beside us and they are watching us closely. I can slightly sense that Hayashi is specifically focusing her attention on me. From the corner of my eye, I can see that she is glaring at me with a vicious look.

“If you can talk with an ugly loser like Kimura then I’m sure you can talk with anyone.” Hayashi says.

“She’s not ugly! Don’t be rude, RINA.” Ryo says in my defense.

“Who gave you permission to use my name!?”

“Wait, I was just practicing being friendly in conversations. I need to get better at talking with girls after all.” He says with a smirk on his face.

“I will hurt you again if you wanna be a smart ass, RYO.”

She clearly must have forgotten he prefers being called by his first name.

“Look everyone, we just started the club so please no more violence today.” Daichi defuses the situation.

“Alright Ryo show us what you got, let’s say you see Kimura sitting outside alone and you want to strike up a conversation… how will you start it?” Sakurai says setting the stage for us.

Ryo turns to me and we both are already struggling to keep eye contact. I'm not too good at talking with people in general and he isn't good at talking with girls. This could be good practice for both of us.

“Uhh, h-hey Kimura… nice weather today…?” His voice cracks as he stutters out every word.

“Y-yes…” I try my best to play along.

“Don't look at us, look at HER.” Sakurai seems to be having a lot of fun with this.

“Uhh, y-y-you look really pretty.”

“...” I try to come up with something to say but my mind goes blank.

“Ryo you can’t be serious…” Hayashi also interrupts our play.

“You guys are supposed to be helping me right?!”

My eyes meet directly with Ryo’s for the first time and he immediately stands up.

“M-m-maybe I can’t do it with Kimura after all. Someone I hate would be better so can we switch her with Hayashi!”

“You’re just being dumb. Daichi, why don’t you show him how it's done.” Sasaki’s suggestion get’s Daichi and Ryo to switch seats.

Compared to Ryo, Daichi is much more relaxed when sitting beside me. He isn't super tense so I don't feel that much pressure either. Maybe that's just how Daichi is, when people are around him they probably easily feel comfortable just like how I feel right now.

“Ryo I think you get too caught up in the moment just because they are of the opposite sex.” Daichi starts his lesson for Ryo. “Just talk to them normally like how you would anything else. You don’t need to start off with anything amazing, just normal small talk or say something funny that happened earlier.”

Ryo, Sakurai, and Hayashi are all watching and learning intently.

“Hey Kimura-San, you always eat lunch out here?”

Crap, I wasn’t ready for this. What should I say? I’m not eating lunch right now?!

“Say yes, dummy!” Sasaki raises his voice at me.

“Y-yes.”

“Me too! It’s always nicer out here than in the lunchroom, it’s so loud in there. The classroom is sometimes a good option unless there is that guy named Ryo Sakurai in there, he is always the loudest person in the room.”

“Haha, I guess that’s true.” I giggle.

“Next you can carry on the conversation by asking another question but this time make it a bit more personal. After starting off light heartedly, then you can try moving closer to them by just a bit—” He says as he slightly scoots over closer to me, our legs barely touching each other.

“Alright, that’s enough Daichi…” She abruptly interrupts our quality time together. “I don’t like this demonstration…” Hayashi is looking at me like I’m the one who did something bad.

“What’s the problem? If you had any better ideas then you should have said something.” Sasaki says to her.

“Actually I do have a better plan. Now that I think about it I’ve heard there is a girl in the grade below us who might be interested in you Ryo.” She pulls out her phone and starts tapping away.

“Who? I don’t talk to any girl that seems like they have the slightest interest in me.”

“Are you doubting me and my sources? Everyone always shares their secrets and info with me, so I can get more info on this if you give me time.”

“Wow, Hayashi you’re willing to go that far? Maybe you aren’t as mean as I thought you were…” Sasaki says looking a bit surprised.

“Have you ever talked to this girl on the volleyball team? Kohara-San?” Hayashi turns her phone around and shows a picture of a cute looking girl on her phone from InstaRgram.

“Yea a little, not really, maybe?” He scratches the back of his head.

“And you never noticed any hints or anything that she might be into you?”

“Nothing really?”

“Ryo is this the girl who always tries to talk with you in the hallway and laughs at all your unfunny jokes?” Daichi asks him.

“Yea…?”

“The same girl who always asks me if I know where you are and always wants to walk home with you?”

“Yea, so what?” His clueless reaction explains everything.

Everyone in the classroom sighs in unison.

Sasaki nodding to himself seems to have come up with something.

“Alright, I think I know what we will do for our club activities tomorrow! We are moving fast everyone. Ryo, tomorrow you will ask this girl out! Everyone reports back here tomorrow and I will have the perfect plan finalized!”