Condoms For Everyone!

Gambit Greg sat atop a makeshift throne of crushed cans and cracked beer bottles like he was role-playing to be some kind of king of the landfill. He gazed down at Val with aloof eyes. His blank expression never changed.

Nobody could’ve expected somebody like Greg to have gained such influence over the years. As one of the major players in the landfill industry, he had significant control over their metropolis, Novus Lokris. Rather, he had so much control over the city because he owned that much land and corporate ownership in his industry. Nobody could really touch him even if he were to deal in any underground activities. It was the perfect disguise for a black market overlord. Or rather, it was the perfect justification.

As Val stood across from the large, burly man, she saw several people below the trash mound who looked to be his bodyguards. One of them looked a little too familiar…

Oh my god. The one on the right had a large, gaping hole through his cheek. Even after all those years, she’d never forgotten—it was that merc. The guy who started it all for her.

On closer inspection, the hole was a little unsettling. It revealed a little too much of his yellowing teeth, and constantly reminded her of Bread’s disturbingly barren facial features… Stop staring, Val. She forced her gaze elsewhere. She wasn’t intent on getting herself recognized by a former enemy. Not now. Not when she was so close to closing a deal.

“Welcome!” Greg roared. His eyes suddenly lit up with enthusiasm. “So you must be Val.”

“Yeah, guess I am.”

“Rictor, quick.” He motioned towards the merc. “Bring out the core.”

The man hurried over with an open briefcase. Inside was a core the size of a human heart. Beautifully crafted, beautifully engineered. It was immaculate—a silvery ball engraved with eccentric, geometric patterns.

“A perfect, military-grade thermonuclear fusion energy core. You can use it for many things such as powering your vehicles, your mansions, or even just a private rocket to Mars!” Greg leaned in a little closer. “I’ll give it to you half off. One million. You won’t find a better deal anywhere else. I guarantee it.”

A mill as the starting price? That was fishy. “Hmm, I’m kind of low right now… Can you do nine hundred?”

“No can do.” He pointed to a sign. It read ‘No haggling.’ “I’ve got buyers lined up like sweet rolls. Some even willing to pay more than the market price. Rictor,” he called out. “Take it away. It seems our guest doesn’t want it.”

“No, wait!” Fishy or not, she had no choice. “Okay, I’ll buy.”

Greg grinned mischievously. “Fantastic. You’ve made yourself a lifelong partner. Just send the money over and it’s all yours.”

She reluctantly pulled out her holophone and tapped away. Hopefully, this wasn’t money just going down the drain.

“Move it!” Greg snapped at the merc. “She’s paid.”

Rictor started to close the case—

“Wait.” She stopped him. “I don’t need that. Too much space.” She pulled the core out from its container and packed it into her gym bag.

The merc stared for an awkward while. “So you’re the new stray…” His eyebrows slowly creased. “Actually, have we met before?”

Shit. “Me? Nah, I doubt it. A lot of people tell me that ‘cause I’m a boxer. You probably saw me online or something.”

“A boxer?”

“Yeah—”

“Rictor!” Greg called out. “Stop wasting time and get outta here!”

“Apologies.” The merc quickly moved away.

“So, anything else?” Greg cracked open a cold can of beer and guzzled down. “I got warehouses full of gadgets and gimmicks!”

The faces. That was next on the list. “You got any faces in stock?”

“Faces! We’re out! There’s a shipment coming in this afternoon if you want to wait. I’m sure it’ll be worth your time.”

“Shipment?” That gave her an idea. “You get those every week?”

“Sure we do! How else would we do business?”

“Wow. With all the stuff you’re selling, you probably ship ‘em in big ass cargo ships, right?”

“Hah! That’ll get you caught in no time. Concealed and cached. That’s our motto.”

“Yeah…” Not much of a motto. “So like trucks? Vans? That your transportation?” It couldn’t have been trains. There was no versatility in those.

“How else?” He laughed. “It’s not like planes could land here.”

“Cool. That’s real cool.” She had her info. “Well, it’s been nice chatting with you.” She had everything she needed. “I’ll come back if there’s something else I want.” She wasn’t coming back. Not with what she had in mind.

“Sure, sure! Take your time.” Greg pulled out another bottle from behind his throne and cracked it open. “And enjoy the ride!”

He had no idea…

…

There. Val saw a suspicious van driving towards the landfill. It was one of those large, black vans that big companies tended to use. That usually meant it was driverless. She wouldn’t have to worry about any physical altercations.

Before anything else, she had to intercept it. The easiest way for her to stop a driverless car was to stand in the middle of the road. The safety sensors would activate, and the car would stop. But if they had removed the safety features…

She had a workaround. She always did.

She placed her holophone on the ground and projected a realistic, concrete wall. Whatever safety sensors they had disabled, it was useless against a barricade. The car was programmed to avoid a devastating crash no matter what.

After all that, she hopped over to the side of the road and waited. The car was just a few blocks down.

Just a few more seconds…

The car sped close.

Just a little bit more…

It was closing in. The wall should’ve been in visible sight.

C’mon…

It screeched to a halt.

“Hell yeah!” she cheered aloud. Now she had to work fast. A minute after a corporate car initially stopped moving, it would manage to map out an alternate path. And even if she’d somehow stopped it from getting away, five minutes, and it would send an emergency alert out.

She quickly pulled out her inflatable floor jack and placed it under the car. She activated it; the jack grew to exponential size, efficiently lifting the wheels off the ground. Then she removed her holophone and the projected wall with it.

The engine suddenly roared to life and the wheels of the car started turning again, but it didn’t budge from its position. Now that nothing was obstructing its view, no alert was going to be sent out… until the GPS system locked on and eventually figured out that it wasn’t actually moving from its location. But that took over ten minutes to activate.

She had enough time.

Val moved to the back. The trunk was padlocked with semi-sophisticated facial recognition tech, but she wasn’t fazed one bit. Every lock was breakable and this one was no exception. She held her phone up to the lock and initiated her brute-force facial algorithm. Thousands of random faces zipped past in the span of a few seconds. And within half a minute, the lock clicked open.

The hard part was done. All she needed now was to find those faces—facial reconstruction implant masks. But when she swung the doors to the trunk wide open, an alarm started to sound.

Shit. This wasn’t a part of the plan.

She quickly started scouring through all the boxes and containers. She ripped open the first box. It was full of condoms. Why Greg sold condoms, she had absolutely no idea. They weren’t even outlawed. You could just buy one at a nearby convenience store. She flung the condoms aside and combed through more junk.

The third one was just another crate full of rare ice wine. Stupid damn alcoholic. And the ninth chest contained contraband that was prohibited from the public—a collection of dangerous hallucinogens and physical copies of banned books.

Now that’s more like it!

She opened a few more until there was only one small crate left at the far back. With bated breath, she tore open the final container—jackpot. There were a total of two masks. She was tempted to take both, but one was heavy enough. She couldn’t be greedy; it would only slow her down. She promptly snatched one up and ran.

Behind her, she heard vehicles skidding across the asphalt and people screaming their lungs out. But she was gone. And after a few more minutes of intense cardio, they were completely out of earshot.

Piece of cake. Val patted herself on the back for a job well done. She was officially back to the grind. And with a military-grade core in her gym bag and a mask in hand, she finally made her way back home.