Chapter 3:

The Dream.

ME AND SHE: OUR SCATTERED DESTINY


Hey, buddy, are you okay there? Everyone has gone, we should go too. If you are not feeling well, I can drop you off at your house. Let's go.

 

Yeah, he is right. I should head home too. I stood up and took a look at the sky. I saw the sun had already set. It has already gotten evening. I must have lost track of time. Our school building is a 4-story building. All three floors are for classrooms, and the roof is on the fourth floor. Now I'm standing on the roof, so I have to get down four floors.


After that, I left. Everyone had left already. There were only the two of us there, me and that guy.I didn't have any energy in my body and I was also in a bad mood. I really hate myself. when I was getting down stairs, then I met someone. He was also getting down, but why did he stay in school until now? If I think carefully, he must be from that group. the group that they have to stay here to do some work after school every day. Of course, I am talking about student council members. I guess it must be hard for them to do all the student council work. I went to the ground floor. Then I take my outdoor and put my indoor shoes into my shoe locker.

 

If you pass through the main entrance of your school, there is ground in front of the school building. This playground is used for P.E activities,I guess. I was feeling calm for a moment, but suddenly I saw Azuki's face. Her face suddenly appeared in my mind. My head started to hurt when I saw her face. I stopped for a moment there. My head was hurting so badly. For some reason, it doesn't wanted stop. I just covered my ears and sat there. At that time, tears were coming from my eyes. I don't know why I was crying; because of my headache or because of the situation I'm in.

 

Hey, are you okay? If you are not, I can drop you off at your house.

 

No,Thanks for asking, but I am okay. You don't have to worry about me and you don't have to come. I can go home on my own.

 

Suddenly, I ran from there. I was crying, but the thing is, I wanted to scream badly at that moment. I don't know what emotional state I was in at the moment. Maybe I was frustrated or feeling pity on myself, or maybe I was feeling guilty for what I did. I really didn't know what was happening to me.

 

The only thing I was certain of was that I just wanted to go home. I didn't want to think about anything anymore, but thoughts were coming to my mind. What should I do? I don't know. What should I do now? I don't know, damn it. I don't want to live like this anymore, but I can't give up on life, like this. Gosh, I am so damn pathetic.

 

I have come to a place where I can feel relaxed, because I don't want to go home like this. If I go like this and my mother sees me like this, she would know something has happened with me. I don't want them to suffer because of me, but these past few years I've been doing the exact same thing. I really want to change myself. But I don't know if I can change myself now.

 

That guy also came with them. I don't get it what'sthe deal with this guy? Today sure was nerve-wracking, huh? A lot happened today. I still can't figure out what happened today. I don't even know how I should feel after seeing her again. Should I feel happy to get a chance to see her again, or should I feel guilty because she lost her memories? I don't really know!

 

This spot, where I often come, is my favourite place. It's my favourite place because of the river. The river water is so clear that you can see reflections of everything within it. The grass here is also so smooth that you can fall asleep in an instant if you lie down on them. Because of this cross structure, it's a perfect place to lay down. The scenery is also great here. You can see the sunset here, and it's beautiful. This is a perfect place for a person to calm down.

 

All of a sudden, a thought came into my mind. Is it okay for us to meet each other now? No, I don't think it's okay for us to meet. Now I hope it would have been better if she and I had never met again.


It's okay if I never see her again in my life. If I hadn't met her, I would have kept searching for her until I found her. Atleast I would have hoped that once we met again we would become friends again, but now that I met her and now I know that she has forgotten her memories and she can't recognise me, that hope has also been shattered. I don't have anything left now. I'm really pathetic. I slapped myself.

 

Hey, what are you doing?

  

No, don't stop me. I am doing this because I deserved it because I am a terrible person.

 

It hurts. It really hurts to know the truth. What! Why am I crying? Stop crying, damn it.

  

After that, I left there and came back to the house. He left after I reached home. What a nice guy.

  

I went to my room. I took my chair nearby to the window and I was watching stars up in the sky and then the thought of meeting Azuki came to my mind. Then I started thinking about what happened today.

 

Then, all of a sudden, everything seems so quiet. I was feeling very light, but at the same time I felt heavy too. I don't know what's going on, and then suddenly I hear a voice. It said, "My name is Sakura." That's the voice I heard today. Who's it for? It was Azuki's voice, wasn't it? Yeah, it is her voice, but why am I hearing her voice right now? Then I saw myself back in those days when I was a little kid. I was so happy then. Then I saw Azuki. We met at the outside of our house. We went to the park and played with our hearts' content. Then suddenly, the scene changed. I saw some guys were bullying me, then Azuki came and saved me. After that, she gave me a handkerchief to wipe out the tears. I was such a crybaby back then. Then again, the scene changed and we were in a classroom in our elementary school. We were laughing so much back then. It made me happy to see this again. Then again, the scene changed and I saw we were going to park, but then we took our cycles and headed towards the park. Hey, wait, isn't that...


Then I saw we met friends and we played. Then I suddenly saw the scene of the accident. Then I saw I went to school after I recovered. When I sat on my bench, nobody was there. Everyone was standing in the right corner staring at me. The look in their eyes was very cold and cruel too. Like they were saying, why are you alive? Then everything got dark and I started to hear some voices. Hey, my name is Sakura, not Azuki.

Azuki's mother asked, "How can you do this to her?" "You destroyed her life."

Azuki's big sister "Why did you do this to her?" Are you her friend or not? "

Hiro's mother, "friends are supposed to protect their friends." So why, why couldn't you protect her? "

Their friends said, "He is the one who hurt our friend."

Azuki's big sister" she is suffering because of you."

Their friends ask, "Why are you not in place of Azuki?" You couldn't even protect your best friend, and you want to be friends with us? Forget it, we don't know you. "

Azuki "Hiro, you are fine, aren't you? Then why like this happened to me? Why am I suffering like this? Why me? Tell me, Hiro, tell me. I will never forgive you."

 

Hey, my name is Sakura, not Azuki. Why did you do this to her? Are you her friend or not? Why did you do this to her? Are you her friend or not? Friends are supposed to protect their friends. So why couldn't you protect her? He is the one who hurt our friend. She is suffering because of you. Why are you not in the place of Azuki? You couldn't even be your best friend, and you want to be friends with us. Forget it, we don't know you. Hiro, you are fine, aren't you? Then why am I like this? Why am I suffering like this? Why me? I will never forgive you. Tell me, Hiro, tell me. Then I heard it again and again and again.


Then I saw myself running, but from what? I don't know. But I kept running and running. I am sick of living like this. I don't want to live like this anymore. I'm so tired of living like this. I am so scared. I'm so scared. Someone, please save me. Suddenly, I woke up, and I saw. I was covered in sweat. My heart was pounding very fast. What was that? A dream? It must be a dream. After some time, I calmed down. For some reason, I didn't feel like going to sleep again, so I stayed awake for a while. Maybe I was scared to sleep.

 

Then I thought, no one is going to come to save me, because I couldn't even save my friend back then. Karma really exists, huh?


I am just a parasite. I need someone to save me. No, that's not it. I think we are all just like parasites. That's what I think. In every turn in our lives, we depend on someone. When we are born, we depend on our parents for everything. When we are in trouble, our brother or sister help us out. In school or college, our friends help us. When we become adults, there are lots of people who somehow help us. We are just like parasites. To survive, parasites depend on others, just as we do. In other words, from birth to death, we humans depend on others or else we can't survive. just like parasites. That's what I think.

 

Danisekaizen
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