Broken doll

 “I see you are all right. Good, I’m glad,” Flora said behind her desk. “You did a great job. Expect a nice bonus coming your way.”

Margit was staring at her, feeling annoyed. Her trust in Flora had never been immense, but now she would rather be somewhere else. She thought about just not responding more than necessary to make the meeting as fast as possible, but there was something else on her mind. She couldn’t remember how that night had ended. “Thank you. By the way, what were the circumstances when you found me?”

Flora looked at her with narrowed eyes, but then simpered and shook her head. “It was a strange sight. We found you in a back alley lying on the ground and bleeding out. The strange part was that an Abelo was kneeling over you and putting pressure on your wound. I’ve never seen them do something like this before. Be that as it may, that probably increased your chances of survival that night. Anyway you’re all good now and there is a lot of work waiting for you, so we best get to it.”

Flora kept talking, but Margit’s attention was somewhere far away. An Abelo? But why? They just follow pre set instructions. She kept contemplating the situation and vaguely nodding to whatever Flora was saying. She felt as if that night a small light was lit inside of her and every new bit of information fed the flame. She would have no peace if she didn’t at the very least try to get to the bottom of it.

“Great, you will get the details for the job later,” Flora said. “I think we are really starting to get along quite nicely.”

Margit just gave a nod and a small smile. Luckily she would have the chance to hear about the details of her next job later from the strategist. If there was ever any uncertainty inside her about telling Flora about Fabio, she was sure it was all gone now. She would never tell her, and in all likelihood she wouldn’t tell anyone else either.

As soon as she had some free time, she headed back to the streets, where she had been bleeding out. She found the right station after riding the Underground for a while, but she was unsure, where exactly it all took place. She was retracing her steps as best as she could. It was difficult to both be stealthy and inconspicuous at the same time. She cast furtive glances around and her heart was beating with paranoia. She knew that both Isaac and people from Usurcor could still be monitoring the streets. She was far away from the company, but there was no telling how far they were willing to spread their nets. Was it a coincidence Isaac was on that train. Does he operate somewhere around here?

“Request to use your internet connection,” she heard the voice inside her head. Fabio was able to speak to her now directly. When he did it without a prompt, it still took her by surprise, but she was sure, that it was something she should get used to as fast as possible.

“Denied,” she responded voicelessly. “I’m the one who will be stuck with ads, and besides. It’s probably a good time for me to not attract attention. I’m sure somebody is tracking my traffic.” There was no response for a while and she continued her search.

“Additional access information located. Information on one J. Voros of Usurcor is available. I can use that for my internet connection.”

This surprised Margit, she had forgotten about the information she stole in case she needed it to access a computer in Usurcor. “I don’t know it sounds risky.”

“I will use a secure protocol. It will look like Voros was the origin.”

Margit sighed. “All right, but keep the bandwidth narrow.” It was interesting to see Fabio’s personality protocols fail from time to time. A sentence could be beautiful and eloquent and the next one a generic robotic response. She had upgraded some of her internal hardware in order to give him more breathing room, but it seems that she would need to also update some drivers to make everything work. A problem for another time.

The search went on. Fabio was no help, since he was kept in a sandbox when she had been running from Isaac. Her refusal to use any connections also meant that no logs of her location were kept. It was getting late and she considered giving up, when she saw dark stains on the ground. They were dark brown, but after looking around, she felt recognition. It could be her own blood.

She went around the corner and felt her throat squeeze shut. There was an Abelo right behind a rubbish bin. She was crouching with her hand extended as if reaching for something on the ground. There were more dried bloody blots around. Margit felt tears coming. She understood that the Abelo was reaching for her and saved her life. She approached slowly and reached for the ghostly white hand. She held it and looked at the pale face. There was no response. Why? Abelos were made to serve specific commands. They had no will of their own. Nobody ordered you to save me. Why are you still now?

She had never looked at one of the Abelos from up close. Despite that, this one seemed even more sickly than the rest. She was too skinny. Why do they have to make them look so human? Her face was deathly white, her hair was shaved off, but to her surprise there seemed to be a slight hint of hair on the shiny scalp.

“Fabio, what do they feed Abelos?” She was glad she didn’t have to speak out loud to communicate with him.

“Nutrient fluid, injected intravenously. Specific information about contents isn’t publicly available. I think normal human food should work as well,” Fabio answered after a minute.

I guess the internet is useful after all. She didn’t know if she had made the decision before coming to this place or only after seeing her saviour in person, but she would not leave the poor thing alone. It must be some kind of malfunction, but whatever it is I will take care of you. She turned on her heels and speeded away.

She was back a couple of hours later. No sleep for me tonight. It was a blessing she was able to get some more sleep while recovering from her latest wounds, but that short time of contentment was over. In her arms she was clutching a bundle. She knelt next to the Abelo that hadn’t moved at all, and started unwrapping the package. The wrap was a long black coat, which she put over her shoulder. It wasn’t the most inconspicuous outfit, but it would cover the Abelo and her distinct brown coveralls well enough in the night. Besides lots of people wear more or less the same kind of coat. Inside the coat were a feeding tube and bottles of mashed fruit. Margit wasn’t sure if any fruit was actually used in the production of the stuff, but it was edible. She looked at everything she had brought and frowned. She had always eaten just nutrition blocks that she got at work in order to save money. The food, clothes and the hardware she recently bought all set her back on her debt, but those weren’t even the biggest expenses that night.

Leaving the Abelo out in the street meant either death for her since she broke her routine and stopped responding, or she would be found by whoever owns her and would be either decommissioned or in the best case reprogrammed with new protocols. There must be something more to her. Self awareness or at least some kind of instinct. I hope I’m not fooling myself. I must be right. She saved me after all.

She took the Abelo’s hand into her. It was cold, which made her start trying to squeeze some life into it without thinking. The pale woman didn’t respond. Margit let go and prepared the food in the tube. She tried getting the tube to the Abelo, but the crouched position was too awkward. She held the Abelo under her arms and tried to get her to stand up. There was some resistance, but Margit was eventually successful. She recovered the tube and held it to the Abelo’s mouth. She was fiddling with the tube for a while without triumph. It was a vexing task, but she knew that failure was not an option, if the Abelo would survive another week. That thought brought an idea to her mind. How long do Abelos live anyway? Maybe that’s what’s happened. She is at the end of her life and has outgrown her predetermined tasks. That would make her efforts futile, but at the same time it was pointless to speculate with nothing to base her beliefs on. Even Fabio had not known an answer to the problem. She continued striving and managed to get small portions down her gullet. Her actions somehow felt strange and wrong to her, but even small victories made her smile nonetheless.

“Please eat,” she said softly into the Abelo’s ear. It was hard to tell whether saying that had any real effect, or if it was nothing more than her imagination, but she felt as if the food was accepted with less effort. She kept it up for a while, but decided not to push it too far, as she knew it could have regrettable consequences. After she was done, she took the coat and began dressing the Abelo. It was loose enough that there was enough space for the clothes she had already been wearing. Margit finished the dressing with a stylish hat. She also brought a scarf, but the high collar of the coat made it obsolete. The pale face and hands still stood out, but Margit just pulled the hat a bit further down. You look good enough. She took her by the hand and pulled her gently behind her. The Abelo’s movements were stiff as she followed. Her eyes were still looking down. Margit sighed and let go. Walking around like this would draw too much attention. She positioned herself next to the Abelo and put her arm around her shoulders.

“Come on, let’s go,” she said in a gentlest tone she was able to manage. She looked like she was escorting a severely drunk friend. They dragged their feet and stumbled here and there, but they were making progress. She took the Abelo to the Underground. They sat together on the bench inside the railway wagon. They were travelling to Margit’s largest expense of the night. She saw no other way, but to rent a room in which she could let the Abelo stay. It was the best way to keep her safe and out of sight.

What pained Margit was the fact, that she had already paid for her pod a month in advance to get the best deal and there was no way to get a refund. Maybe it’s for the best. There won’t be much room if we are both there. Their destination were the cheapest slums that Margit was able to find in that part of Umevar. She pulled the Abelo to her feet when they arrived at their station and they wobbled off. The apartment was close to the station, but it took half of an hour to get there.

The single room of the apartment only contained some blankets. Despite the cost it was less comfortable than Margit’s cosy pod. Maybe I won’t get rid of it. She knew that was only wishful thinking. She had wasted so much money already. And the waste wouldn’t stop soon since she had someone else to take care of besides herself. She felt a dark cloud rising inside her head. She had never had to take care of someone before. It was harder than she had imagined, even though she had just started. Can I really handle it? She shook her head and let out an exasperated sight. Am I really giving up before I even start? Making excuses and running away again. Even though there was no guarantee that she would succeed or be any good at it, Margit decided that she would do it anyway. So what if I fail? All I can do is try my best. She remembered her promise to Fabio. She now included the Abelo in this as well. She went to her and turned her head so that they looked in each other’s eyes. There was no indication that Abelo recognised her. She put a hand on her head.

“I don’t know what I can do for you, but I owe you my life. I will try to do all I can for you, please bear with me. Ilona,” Margit said. The name came from nowhere, but she liked it. “Please bring me light and joy,” she said and hugged her.

It was hard on Margit in the following days as she juggled her two jobs while also trying to spend as much time around Ilona as possible. At first she just fed her, cleaned her and talked to her. Ilona never responded or even acknowledged Margit. She knew that she can’t leave her inside the small room forever.

At first it seemed as if Ilona was recovering and gained a bit of weight, but over the week she took a turn for the worse. While Margit was dressing her, she fainted. It was difficult for her to handle this new unexpected challenge. The lack of public knowledge about Abelos meant that Fabio was of little help as well. Despite this she feared that she knew exactly what was wrong. When she washed Ilona, some details about her body became apparent. She had undergone several augmentations. It didn’t look like much effort was made to cover up the resulting scars. Margit felt her chest squeeze when she understood that Ilona was likely going through withdrawal, or worse yet, her body might have already started rejecting the augmentations.

Why do they make you suffer like this as well? Couldn’t they have included these augmentations when they designed you? Where will I get enough anti-rejection drugs? I haven’t even stopped taking mine. She paced around the room, and because of its minute dimensions that meant, she was walking circles around Ilona. She knew the easiest way to go about it was to ask Flora to get her some drugs. She didn’t want to be in debt to her and more to the point she didn’t want to reveal the situation with Ilona. Does she already suspect anything because I was asking about it? No, I didn’t say anything after she told me. Would she even think it’s possible for someone to care about an Abelo?

Keeping Fabio a secret was easy since he was hidden inside her head, but an entire person complicated things. For a start she decided she would risk it and share some of her own drugs with Ilona. She spaced out the interval where she took the drug, so that she could use some for her. It wasn’t sustainable, but Ilona did show some improvement in her condition. Margit wasted no time and scoured the streets of Umevar to come in contact with a dealer.

“That’s an unusual request,” said the man with a hoarse voice. “But business is is business.” He showed her his supply of drugs. He took time to point out most of them. Margit guessed he assumed she could be convinced to buy even more from him. “It’s nice of you to take care of others,” he remarked.

Margit’s eyes went wide. “What?”

“You don’t look like you need these. I assumed they were for somebody else. Not that it is any of my business,” he said and shrugged his shoulders.

Margit frowned, but didn’t say anything. The drugs were sold at a steep price. Margit decided she would have to check, whether the legal way to obtain these was more expensive at all. They likely don’t sell them to just anyone, even if they are cheap. Her wallet was taking another beating. The bonus that Flora had promised couldn’t come soon enough.

Her consolation was the fact that the drugs seemed to be effective. Whenever she was together with Ilona she tried to talk to her. Even if there was no response, she hoped that somehow at least some of what she was saying got through to her. She talked about herself, about what she wanted and after she ran out of conversation topics, she started teaching Ilona whatever came to her mind. From grammar to biology and programming. Even in the topics she wasn’t an expert in, there were still things to tell someone, who might not know anything about them at all.

After Ilona showed no more symptoms of withdrawal, Margit began taking her out on short walks in the late hours and choosing the most secluded streets. The beginnings were as clumsy as the journey to this apartment, if not more, but every time it got easier. After a week or two, Margit had to only hold Ilona’s hand as they walked in the dark. Maybe it will all be better one day.