My Princess / 私の姫

In the living room, Kimura reminded her sister of her promise yesterday.

“Hey, big sis, where’s the promised final surprise? To quote your words, you told us you were ‘leaving the best for last’. What is it?”

“I didn’t mention any ‘final surprise’, but—I do have something in store for you all.”

“What is it? You’re killing me with the suspense!”

“Come with me then.”

Climbing to the second floor, she pulled the retractable staircase. When they were inside the attic, the elder sibling turned on the light.

“There’s your surprise. I’ll help you carry them.”

“Ooohhhh, fireworks!”

A tad later, downstairs, taken aback by the amount of load the two sisters had in their arms, Yokoyama demanded information.

“Fireworks! How many are there? How many?”

“Enough for you to have your share of fun,” Haruka responded.

“Haruka, please go grab a bucket or something similar, I don’t want to have these laying on the ground outside,” the oldest in the room requested.

In less than ten seconds she picked up an empty waste bin.

“Here’s one”.

“Oh! How did you find it so easily?”

“That’s one of our own garbage cans, dummy.”

“Ahh, right. Sakurai and I will take these outside.”

“Okay.”

A handful of minutes afterward, the adult couple was relaxing in the chairs in front of the house. A prime spot where they could observe what the eighteen and seventeen-year-olds were up to while simultaneously gazing at the beautiful night sky. Akari had warned them beforehand, “I know you’re all tired of hearing this, but please be careful anyway,” to which her sister retorted with an unexcited “We know”.

Whilst the five of us were enjoying the fiery spectacle, the two adults opted to discuss their own matters.

“Look at them, all happy and blissfully ignorant. Maaannn, I envy them.”

“Then why don't you join them?”

“Well, you certainly do have a point. Guess I'll join in on the—”

Interrupting her sentence, Haruka grabbed her right arm sleeve.

“Huh?”

“Please… stay here with me.”

“Do you need my company that desperately? Wasn't all of today enough?”

“Of course not!”, the younger one pouted.

“You're pretty greedy. Luckily for you, I'm equally as greedy,” she smiled.

Embarrassed, she switched the subject to one she was more comfortable with.

“Ummm, I must say, you and your sister are quite different, now that I've met her in person.”

“You think so? I personally still see a lot of myself in her, perhaps a bit too much. Though she has a far livelier outlook, I'd say the differences stop at the surface.”

“Well, can't really argue with you on the matter, you know her like the back of your own hand.”

“She's changed a lot too. They all certainly did, just like us. I'm sure they all have—their own stories.”

“Yeah,” she smiled as well, noticing how much fun we were having.

“So you’re not going to join them after all?”, she continued.

“Do you really want me to?”

“As long as you take me with you.”

“Then what’re you doing, get up!”

In the end, all seven of us laughed and grinned together at the glory and fantastic spectacle of those fireworks.

Now past 11 PM, some of us returned inside while others chose to stay outside. Me, Natsuko, and the previously mentioned couple—sat on the same chairs again—were among those still out in the warm night.

What about us, you ask? We were by ancient Lake Biwa, Japan’s largest freshwater lake body, sitting atop the pitch-black grass. Contemplating the bright dots in the dark night sky canvas we call stars. Don’t worry, we didn’t stray too far from our temporary residence. That is because Haruka and Akari’s house was less than two hundred meters away from that very body of water above mentioned.

“Seems Vega and Altair are gone, I can’t seem to find them,” I noted.

“Gone? They haven’t really disappeared. They’re likely searching for each other out of everyone’s sight, Orihime and Hikoboshi.”

“Stars also get privacy, huh. Oh,” I came up with a justification, “they might’ve been scared away by the artificial lighting.”

“There. I found them,” she pointed at Vega.

“Oh, that was quick. You’re definitely better than me at this,” I giggled.

“That’s because you give up too easily.”

“Or I maybe am not motivated enough to search for them.”

To my surprise, she spread her right arm around my neck and pulled me down onto the grass along with her, “H-Hey, wait…!”

“There,” she declared, “more motivated now?”

All the visible stars were now more vibrant. What’s more, their number far exceeded what was previously observable. What used to be a collection of luminous dots irregularly scattered throughout a sea of black was now a consistent network of cosmic lamp posts, lighting up the quiet ephemeral dusk.

“Obviously.”

“Can you tell where Altair is?”

“Mhm.”

“Look at them… so far from each other… what would you do if you were put in Orihime’s position?”

“If I was in her place, I wouldn’t content myself with just one yearly meeting. Screw God’s punishment, I’d search every corner of the universe to find my lover.”

“Easier said than done.”

“Yeah.”

Defying the divine is something neither of them could do. Realistically, they knew going against such high orders could imply a forceful end to their now frail relationship. It was no cowardice. Just the safest solution. To comply. However, there exist times when one must overcome the boundaries set on us and leap to an unknown future. Not due to bravery, not due to rage, not due to responsibility. But due to desire. Therein, beyond the threshold of the known, lies what we seek—what we desire. A brighter and more colorful life. That too—desire—is intrinsically part of who we are. The key to this issue is whether we yield to desire or not. If we don’t, we respectfully bow down to them, the limits, the cage they put us in. If we do, we depart on another adventure—to that unknown future. Would you be right or wrong? I don’t know. It’s up to you and your circumstances to figure it out. This is nothing but another aimless rant of mine.

“Hey, Yuki.”

“Hmm?”

“Can I call you that?”

“Sure.”

“How did you know for sure that you were transgender? My knowledge is pretty superficial on the matter.”

“Like everything in life, it starts with doubt. You are shopping for clothing and take a deeper look into the female section that time and think to yourself ‘Man, I'd look super cute in that dress’ and you go ahead with that crazy idea of yours just that once. You're walking by the sidewalk and see that hot girl in class and, for some reason, you're actually jealous of her. You're caught off-guard by the changes in your body that naturally occur with puberty and you feel uncomfortable. That creates doubt in your mind. Just like with any doubt that crosses your mind, you reflect, question yourself, and do introspection. You enter a new journey of self-discovery. As daunting as it may be, for your own sake, you dive further, to discover the truth within you. Is there something hiding behind the curtain or is this just another misleading clue? There's only one person who can conclude that, you. However, ultimately, even though you have reached the ever-so-desired conclusion, you'll never be one hundred percent certain of it. The only certainty in this world is that there are no certainties. Are you right? Are you mistaken? Is it true or false? Is this the correct path for me to follow or not? It’s up to us to decide. It’s up to us to take the final step. It's up to us to give them value. Call it a leap of faith, maybe. In the end, they are only true because we believe in them.”

“Woah, never expected you to be a philosophical one.”

“Making fun of me, huh?”

“But it's true. Your answer was pretty lengthy, so much so I almost got bored of it halfway through.”

“Ah, I'm sorry,” I scratched my head, “I ended up going full-on no brakes.”

“Just kidding. You're not the slightest bit boring.”

“Pamper me more, Natsuko, please.”

“Don’t abuse your luck.”

“Yes, yes, sorry. However, I’m glad. Otherwise, I’d feel extremely guilty for putting you through all those countless hours of listening to my voice.”

“Don’t stress too much over it.”

I got back into sitting position. She followed suit.

“You know, last night, I had a dream where we both escaped out of town to live by ourselves. Just the two of us. Wouldn't it be nice? We travelled the world, met new people, found someone to spend the rest of our lives with. And… I…,” unable to contain myself I let out a few tears, “was a real… girl. It’d be amazing, right?”

“Real girl? You idiot, you are already one at heart. And, I'm sure you will be able to fully be yourself one day, have hope!”

She paused for a brief second, as if gathering the necessary strength and courage for what she was about to say.

“In this world full of sadness and despair, you have to always search for joy in the things that make you happy. How do you think I managed to move forward after everything that happened to me? Sure, I was devastated, my world looked as grim and dark as ever, and I'm not going to lie to you, I still haven't fully managed to move on from it, but—back then, I found some form of happiness, some form of… consolation in my friend. And now, in you. So, don’t give up! You’ve come this far, so don’t you dare to give up! I won’t allow you! That day, you were the only one who cared to step forward! And, I intend to retribute that favor! If I could become your beacon of hope, I'd be glad! I'd be very happy!”

You… already are.

“So, promise me! Believe in your future! Whatever you do, don’t give up on being happy, please!”

We all have our masks we put on, some deeper than others, but they can sometimes break, as it was the case now. “You have to put a front, a mask, in order to hide your fragile self,” I remembered those words. They deeply resonated with me too. That too was my way of hiding myself behind a wall. To not let the world know of my broken self that sought fulfillment, joy, and realization. My incomplete me.

She put her hand on top of mine. Still crying, I humbly requested a peculiar thing from her.

“Akira… can I… call you that?”

“Of course you can. You’re my evening princess, Yuki. Whenever you need me, I’ll be there to help you just as you did with me. I’ll be there to rescue you.”

After a very brief pause, she continued, now facing the sky.

“Isn’t it magnificent, the starry night sky? There they are, two fools in love. Earlier, you answered that, if you were in Orihime’s shoes, you’d go against God’s will. Honestly, so would I. But—I don’t need to. My Hikoboshi is right here by my side.”

Among all those tears, I managed to utter a weak and confused “Huh?”.

In front of me, right then and there, stood an endless canvas full of stars. Some shining more than others. However, none of them shone brighter than her. I couldn’t get my eyes off her. No matter how hard I tried.

“So we’ll travel the world together, we’ll do everything we want. Together.”

“W-What… do you mean?”

She turned away from the skies to face me and grabbed my other hand.

“This.”

In a rapid succession of events, she reduced the distance between our faces until it was null and—

She carefully kissed me. Her lips touching mine, her warm arms enveloping my body, her hot breath caressing my skin. My heart racing uncontrollably.

Initially, caught by surprise, I struggled a bit. Eventually, I gave in.

All I could hear was her heartbeat. All I could see were her eyes. All I could feel was her warmth.

There—amidst the warm Summer grass, before the lake’s placid waters, below the vast astral expanse—we stood. Two fools in love.

All I could see was her.

My Princess.