Chapter 17:

Two little red hearts

I’m in love with a Chinese Nationalist

I will never forget this feeling. I finally moved out to let her breathe properly. Lei Mei was all red, though I probably am as well.

“Lei Mei I-”

“Shhh, Taji. Don’t say anything.”

She grabbed my hand and began holding it.

“Since we met, you struck my attention. There was something about your eyes, that just stood out from everyone else. I wanted to get to know you better but you made me feel weird. I was pretty discomforted for a while. I know I haven’t been the most open person, I’m not that good when it comes to this sort of thing.”

I knew it. I knew it was my fault. I can’t even blame her for it. I just hate myself for being like that. If only I was normal. If only I didn’t fall into an obsession.

“When you came outside my house that time after I ran away, I was thrilled but I also hated you at that moment. You seemed crazy and I was scared. It may have been an overreaction, it may have been me acting irrationally. I’m sorry if I hurt you then. I just didn’t know what to do.”

She gripped my hand harder, however, she began to shake. I don’t know what to say to her, I don’t know what I could possibly say. I was a piece of shit. I was crazy over her. It must have been hard for her and I just didn’t care.

“When you said you would change, I had a tiny bit of hope for you. I don’t know what you were even attempting during that time, though, I don't fully blame you for it. Sawa told me that she was doing stuff to make me jealous and to be quite frank, I was extremely jealous, I hated seeing others do that, however, there was no point showing it. It was pointless. I was about to be done with you.”

Her grip began to loosen up, however, instead, her voice was cracking. My hand got pulled closer to her.

“You ended up coming back, you made a final promise to me. Although I was sick of you at that point. I wanted to give you this chance. I wanted to believe that you aren’t a total piece of trash. You managed to change. Each day I felt happier. When you started to show more and more interest in China and when you said you wanted to learn about communism, I was thrilled. I couldn't believe it.”

“Lei Me-”

“Stop, I’m not done yet. I have been waiting for you to make a move since Friday. I thought I made it noticeable that I wanted more with you. Since you were taking so long, I wanted to make alone time with you so I invited you for the weekend. Yesterday, I wanted to do more but you were so eager to learn, that I couldn’t bring myself to not help you. I’m glad that we finally got to this point. I was waiting for a good time to tell you this, Taji.”

“Honestly, I don’t know what to say. I was just too uptight to realise that you had any feelings for me, I was just too self-centred. I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay. I understand, I wasn’t at my best either. I’m just glad we are past that.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Taji, I love you. I’m really happy that I was able to let this all out.”

“I love you as well Mei. I’m glad I had finally realised my mistakes and fixed myself.”

My heart feels like it’s about to explode. I never thought that I would see the day that Mei will admit her love to me. Honestly, I feel like this is the best day that will ever exist.

Can’t wait to let Kingo know that I finally made it. I hope that he will too manage to find someone for himself. I feel like he was the only smart person around me the entire time now.

“Hey, Taji. When we finish school do you want to come to China with me?”

“You mean like when we graduate?”


“Sure, I would love to.”

“Great. I was thinking of a job there. I know exactly what I want to become now thanks to you.”

“Thanks to me?”

“Yes, you helped me realise how much I actually love China.”

“You’re welcome?”


She’s still awkward sometimes when it comes to talking. Well, whatever, at least we get to be together. Mei walked me a bit on the way home. I couldn’t resist but hold her hand the entire way. She seemed happy about it.

It seems that we both are now happy. This is what we needed. All we needed this entire time was communication, if we had talked properly beforehand, we probably would have sorted this out sooner and actually got together.

I finally made it home, my parents didn’t seem to be too bothered by the fact I said I’d be gone for the night. Quite surprising since usually they have issues with this. I was definitely far too excited and happy over everything that happened today. Rolling left and right, spinning around all night because I couldn’t fall asleep.

Today was the happiest day of my life. All thanks to you Lei Mei. I can’t wait till I will be able to spend the rest of my life with her.

Brrrrring brrrrrrring brrrrrrring

Oh no. No no no. Is it time already? I only just managed to close my eyes for a few seconds. I’m so dead for today.

I threw myself into a freezing cold shower. It gave me a kick in the arse, however, it probably won't last too long before I start to doze off. Whatever, I’ll have to make do.


Who the hell is at the door at this time?



“Hello, Taji.”

She came to me just like that, seeing her right here, from the morning instantly made me feel better. As long as I have Mei, I’ll be able to do anything.

“Hey Mei, how are you? I’m almost ready, come in for a bit.”

“Very well, I guess I shall.”

Amazing. I just need to finish getting ready now.

“Are your parents not home?”

“No they both went to work earlier.”

“Ah ok.”

I felt a touch on my back. A hand ran down my spine.


“Don’t worry Taji, It’ll feel good.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Have you ever wanted to be dominated?”

“What? What are you talking about.”

Silence. My body began to shiver. I don’t want to turn around. I don’t want to know what she’s talking about.

She grabbed me by my shoulder and forced me around. Half dressed, she stood there holding a belt.

“Taji, have you been studying well?”


Ding dong

Ding dong

Ding dong


What the hell was that…

Ding dong

Just a dream…

Ding Dong


I don’t know who wants to get hold of me this early this bad but I’m pretty glad they are otherwise I would still be out cold.


“Taji! What have you been doing this entire time?”

“I only just woke up…”

“Get a move on, we’re late for school!”


“Don’t thank me yet, get dressed and we need to leave!”

Mei is so cute when she acts like this. However, she does have a point. I have been late too many times the past month alone, I need to start getting on time more.

We ended up being late by a few minutes, probably would have been much worse if Mei didn’t wake me up and I definitely would have a hard time looking at her if that dream kept going. What even was that? A hidden desire of mine? Or maybe I saw the future? No no, that's too silly.

I will have to forget that even happened, rather unhealthy to imagine those things. Anywho, I need to find Kingo. He hasn’t talked to me much this week, wonder what he has been up to.

“Mei, congrats!” Sawa yelled out as she came closer.

“What are the congratulations for?” Mei replied.

“Getting with Taji, what else?”

“Oh, why, thank you. Is that all?”

“I guess so, good luck.”

Wonder what Sawa is planning now. Her being this kind feels wrong, specifically after the things that have happened.

“Hey, Kingo. You’re finally in class.”

“Oh Taji Taji Taji.”

“Oh me what?”

“I’ve been off for half of last week, I was sick. I had a doctor's visit earlier and now I’m good to go.”

“Wait really? Sorry I didn’t notice…”

“It’s ok, I was just joking. I hear that you and Lei Mei are a thing now.”

“What a terrible joke was that.”

“Because it wasn’t a joke.”

“What? Are you okay?”

“That’s what they said at least, how’s Lei though?”

“Oh, yeah it’s great. Really happy.”

“I’ve waited to see you happy all this time Taji. It brings joy to my heart!” Kingo began to tear up as she sat down. “Just don’t forget about me Taji! You’ll always be my best friend.”

“I’ll never forget you, don’t worry. I’ll be looking forward to meeting your second half one day.”

“You are my second half! My beloved Taji!”

“Haha, sure, sure.”

Mei looked back at me and smiled. Our time together has begun. Can’t wait to see what we have yet to experience.