Interlude - All in Vain

I never liked to just watch. So many people suffering, so many begging for help, but no one was doing anything. I begged my brothers and sisters and even my father to do something, but they always refused.

"That's the path they chose."

They repeated this over and over again. Saying that it was not up to us to intervene.

But I couldn't accept it. Why should so many people suffer because of the decision of a few? Why couldn't we reach out our hand to those who were crying for salvation?

At one point, I got fed up with it all and decided to act. I went to help a boy who was asking for it.

But before I could do anything, I was exposed.

“I want to help them! What's the point of my existence if I can only watch everyone suffer?!"

I screamed those words that were completely ignored. In the end, I was cast out, banished to the depths of darkness.

That place was so dark and so cold it felt like my very existence would freeze.

“It hurts… It hurts a lot…”

I repeated those words over and over again. And in the back of my mind something told me to stop resisting and let myself be consumed by that darkness. Yes, if I became one with the darkness, all suffering would end.

But my heart wouldn’t accept that. The light was still strong in my chest, a light that still wanted to help those people. So, I continued to walk.

I went on and on trying to escape that suffering. Meanwhile, some onlookers watched all that and questioned me, tempted me.

“Why are you still doing this?”

“Give up on everything and you’ll feel a lot better.”

But I didn't want to, I wouldn't forgive myself if I let that light be consumed by the darkness. There was also fear. That light was my very existence, so what would be left if it extinguished? So I kept going.

I tripped and fell, but I always got up and kept going.

I endured all those laughs from the few who crossed my path and kept going.

I tolerated the pain of my own soul shattering and kept going.

Because I was sure that if I made it out of there, I would prove my worth. I would be recognized by everyone and I would be forgiven. Or at least, I would finally be able to help someone.

And after wandering for so long, I finally found my way out of that place.

At that moment all the bad things dissipated from my mind and not even the pain could bother me anymore. Right in front of me was a spot bathed in sunlight.

After so long, a smile had appeared on my face and I ran towards my salvation.

“How am I supposed to act when my brothers see me?”

Certain of my achievement, I was already starting to make plans for what would come next.

But it was too late. It wasn't sunlight that welcomed me with open arms, but an unthinkable darkness.

I had lost everything, it was all in vain.

And there surrounded by that tragedy, I fell to my knees as my face stained with tears.

The glint in my eyes faded and the despair began to devour me.

Why did I put up with all that suffering? Why after all my effort that was my reward?

My very existence was breaking, the light that defined what I was was fading.

If I'd known it would be this way, I would have let the darkness consume me from the very beginning.

Yes, the darkness would end all that suffering and despair.

That warm darkness.

And then a shadow started to swallow me.