Chapter 26:

New Normal

The Wizard's Virginity

Agnies was true to her word. A couple of days later I left the priory with Dan, Aoife and Reiko in tow. The journey was not a pleasant one. As Dan had said, teleportation was reserved for emergencies, and getting our ragtag group back to school apparently didn’t qualify. We also weren’t able to just fly back, as a set of four magic users hopping on a plane at the local airport would have been too conspicuous to potential magic-sensing enemies. At least, that was the reasoning Dan passed on to me. The method we were left with was an excruciating drive through Poland, then into Germany, then into Belgium, and finally into France to take the channel tunnel back into the UK.

Reiko and Aoife were heavily sedated for most of the journey, so that they couldn’t work out the priory’s location. Neither Dan nor I could drive yet. That meant that we needed a driver, and the person chosen was a large, angry-looking woman named Marfa. She barely said a word for the entire two-day journey, except for when another driver cut her up or committed some other transgression. Then she would suddenly shout at the top of the lungs in a language I couldn’t understand. I was woken up several times by her shouting in this way, and was too scared to ever ask her to stop it.

Fortunately, Marfa managed to contain her road rage just enough to safely get us home. Dan and Reiko were dropped off with Ms Matthews. It had been agreed that Reiko was best off staying with them, where they could keep an eye on her mental state. Aoife was trusted to stay at her own place, so long as she continued turning up to school each day.

I did worry that my deal with Agnies, even though it was to save them from imprisonment, would piss off Reiko and Aoife. After all, I resented the government for forcing me to spend the majority of my time in a shitty school in England, and now I was inflicting the same fate on others.

Reiko seemed okay with it, presumably since she had little to return to in Japan. She had been pretty despondent since Fusae’s mind manipulation spell was lifted, but at least didn’t show any signs of going on a murderous rampage.

Aoife, surprisingly, was thrilled. “This teaching thing is a piece of piss,” she told me. “I’ve never been paid so much for doing so little, aside from that brief stint as an escort. And you never know, maybe I’ll still be able to convince you to give up your powers to me one day…”

I objected, of course, but the enticing jiggle of her chest did make me feel that the possibility wasn’t zero. It was something I would have to take precautions against, likely by making sure I’d jerked off every morning on days when I had Biology.

Marfa’s final stop was my own house. She dropped me outside and screeched off before I had time to thank her. I wondered what she might have done to annoy Agnies to have been saddled with international taxi-duty…

Mum and Hayley were expecting me. As soon as I stepped inside the front door, the two of them pounced on me, mum from the left and Hayley from the right. Knowing that I usually avoided any physical signs of affection, they must have enjoyed coordinating this hug ambush. I won’t go into the details of our reunion too much, but I will admit that there were some tears from all present.

It was weird to just go back to school as normal after all the crazy stuff that had happened. Of course, it wasn’t quite ‘as normal’. For one thing, the Old Building no longer existed. The entire school had been closed for a week while they put barriers around the wreckage and safety crews did various inspections. The official explanation was that the building was in such a state of disrepair that it had collapsed of its own accord, so the poor headteacher had to answer a lot of questions about why he had allowed students to continue having lessons in such a dangerous place.

Reiko’s return to the school quelled any rumours about me molesting her, although the fickle student body would likely have forgotten anyway after my couple of weeks off. It’s not like I received an apology from Cameron or anyone else, but at least they stopped throwing food at me and gossiping about me.

The novelty of Reiko’s existence began to wear off after she started wearing the standard business dress that was expected of Sixth Form, rather than her Japanese uniform. She was also a lot quieter than she had been when she first started at the school, her smile replaced by a blankly serious expression. Most people began keeping their distance from her. Lawrence didn’t seem to mind though, saying that she had just grown into a ‘kuudere’. I had no idea what one of those was and never bothered to ask.

Speaking of Lawrence, the guy was intolerable when I first got back. He hadn’t forgotten about unilaterally deciding that I was to be his Shishou, to train him in the art of being successful with girls. I suggested that he just focus on making friends first, rather than making it all about girls. Maybe try to find other people who share his interests. It was a throwaway piece of advice, but he went right ahead and started a school anime club in search of his ‘perfect otaku girlfriend’. Surprisingly enough, it turned out that teacher's pet Sara harboured a secret love for Japanese cartoons. Lawrence and Sara’s personalities couldn’t have been more different, but hey, maybe that meant that things would work out for them.

There was another unlikely pairing that formed shortly after our return. Mr Cuttilan, the Head of Science, had apparently been incredibly impressed with Aoife’s independent study methods. While they were unconventional, the results spoke for themselves: practice exam scores for AS Level Biology were higher than the school had ever seen. Aoife obviously chose not to share any of the credit with Sara, our actual teacher in all but name, and suggested that Mr Cuttilan take her out to dinner as a reward. I heard that he snapped his glasses clean in two when she suggested it. However, judging from how the two of them subsequently started driving into school together, it must have gone well. It was disturbing to think of the two of them as a couple, but at least it distracted Aoife from trying to seduce me.

One of the biggest changes was Dan, who decided to officially come out as a girl. I think it was primarily for my benefit. She still felt very guilty about lying for so long, and so felt compelled to make it right by openly coming out. It wasn’t a big deal to most people, as other kids at the school had come out as trans before and they assumed it was the same thing.

Lawrence, presumably trying to work out if he had a new eligible candidate for his harem, decided to probe deeper. “Yo Dan, so you’re a trap now?”

Dan sighed. “What does that mean, Lawrence? I’m guessing it’s some anime thing?”

“It’s when you have a dick but you look like a girl. Unless you’ve already had the surgery?” Lawrence made a motion with his fingers to represent scissors cutting.

“Sorry to disappoint you, but I’ve never had a dick. I was born a girl, then decided I was more comfortable as a boy. Now I’ve gone back to openly being a girl, as I’ve realised that I can act however I want, no matter what my gender is.”

“Okay, right…” Lawrence seemed to ponder for a few moments. I was impressed that he was making an effort to understand something like this. “So, what you’re saying is that you’re a reverse trap.”

The conversation ended at that point.

For my part, the main focus of my life became preparing for my AS Level exams. The stress of exam season made the whole fighting for my life thing feel like a pleasant memory. I already wasn’t the most driven student, and my revision had suffered even more for all the drama. Luckily, Dan was on hand to essentially act as my private tutor. Although we didn’t share subjects, her general knowledge of all kinds of things meant she was able to figure out the priority of what to revise, keep me focussed, and test me. All while still keeping on top of her own revision. I asked if maybe she had some magic spell for being good at revision she could teach me, but sadly it seemed like her learning abilities were just a result of old fashioned hard work. How disappointing.

To keep myself motivated, I tried my best to look beyond exams to summer holidays. I was still keen to learn more magic and, with Ms Matthews as the mediator, had agreed with Agnies that I would return to the priory during my summer holidays. After all, I was now committed to becoming a member of the Vindeca coven, as per the terms of my deal with the High Priestess.

Dan told me that the witches running the place weren’t keen on all night Netflix binges and waking up at 1pm each day, so it seemed that I would need to adjust my usual holiday routine. At the very least though, I reckoned I could sneak in a Nintendo Switch to keep me entertained in between learning badass magic spells.

For a brief period, when my main worry was memorising the finer points of the Industrial Revolution, life was simple.

Well, until the dreams started again.