Stalling out

The next few weeks went by fairly normally, the three of us went to school, hung out on occasion, and waited anxiously for the Christmas- New Years' Vacation from School. The last day, in particular, seemed to drag on and on, each class seeming to take an eternity. I sat at my desk, twirling a pencil between my fingers as I stared out the window at the dismally gray winter sky.

One thing had been bugging me ever since that day we made the pact in the cafe. How the hell was I going to stand up to my father? He’d controlled my life in nearly every aspect up until this point…is there really anything I could do? ‘VRRMM VRMM’. My phone went off in my pocket, I slipped my hand under my desk and sneakily started to read it.

One new message from: Sen

“How about today we get in our first riding lesson?” I smiled and looked across the classroom to find him already looking back at me with anticipation. The dismissal bell suddenly blared throughout each class and hallway of the school, all of the students throwing up their arms and shouting excitedly as they began to rush out of their classrooms.

“Now everybody! Please calm down for a moment, please don’t forget to~ oh forget it, happy holidays everyone!” Realizing that not a single student was listening to him anymore, Mr. Onida smiled and stood beside the door. He said goodbye to everyone and wished us all a happy Christmas and New Years. I met up with Sen and Aiko out in the hallway which was bustling with students and teachers alike, everyone excited to make plans.

“Hey Ai, Ren and I are gonna go get started on the learning to ride a motorcycle part of our list. Wanna come? I could probably teach you how to ride too if you really wanted.” Sentaro excitedly twisted his hands as if he was revving an imaginary bike.

“I’m sorry I can’t today… Dad got invited to one of those work dinners where you bring your family along and he said I have to go.” She pouted and groaned. “Riding on a motorcycle sure does sound a lot more fun than eating with a bunch of old lame people I don’t care about… have fun for me though, okay? See you guys on New Years!” She waved to us before walking down the hall, disappearing into the crowd of intermingling students.

“I guess it’s just you and me then old friend” Sen slapped me on the shoulder hard enough to sting like he always did.

“Sen…I don’t wanna sound like a wuss or anything but isn’t it a bit cold to be riding a motorcycle?” I asked, genuinely concerned as it was only about 5 degrees celsius out. He began laughing as we walked down the hall together. “What’s funny?” I asked, having no clue what the big joke was.

“If you think you’re going to be doing any kind of serious riding today you’re crazy. It’s mostly just gonna be all the little stuff like showing you the controls and how to shift gears… it’s probably just gonna be you stalling out over and over again behind the school!” We turned down the stairs and walked out into the school courtyard.

‘I’m not an idiot you know, I pick up on things a lot quicker than you think!” I growled, realizing that Sen had brought his bike to school today and we were walking over to the parking lot to get started right now. I got increasingly nervous as I became aware Sen had this planned out from the beginning. I tried to play it cool, feigning confidence as we approached his bike.

“Yeah yeah, we’ll see how you feel about that after an hour or so.” Sentaro looked at me knowingly as I cautiously threw my leg over the bike and sat down on the seat. I was so nervous that I was already shaking.

“Okay..it’s like this… The left foot is the gear shift, left hand is the clutch. Right hand is the front brake and accelerator, right foot is the rear brake. He took a moment to point to each part as he told me what they did.

“Left foot…right foot…clutch…brake…accelerator…” I murmured to myself as Sen showed them to me again and again. He did the maybe half a dozen times, to the point where I slowly became irritated. “Alright alright, I get it! Let me drive it already, all I have to do is twist back the accelerator right?” I pulled back with my right hand. Nothing. I tried it a few more times, getting frustrated.

“Step one to actually getting started is to…well, actually start the bike. For that, you’re going to need the key.” He dangled the key out in front of me and chuckled.

“Oh…right” I reached up meekly, grabbing the key while trying not to look at Sen’s judgemental grin. I looked On the tank everywhere… I looked under the handlebars… I could not find the ignition.

“If you promise to stop being a know it all I’ll tell you where it is, deal?” I nodded, my cheeks reddening with a mixture of frustration and embarrassment.

“It’s on the right side of the bike just behind your right knee. Put it in, switch it to on, hit the start button with your right hand, and then put up the kickstand with your left foot, got all that?” Sen said as we watched me like a teacher would watch a student as he loomed over his desk.

“ Right knee…ignition…on… right hand…start button…kickstand” The bike roared to life underneath me, I couldn’t contain my excitement. “Hey, I did it! That wasn’t bad at all, what happens next?” What followed was more information than my brain knew how to handle. Sen explained in great detail every step of shifting, braking, and accelerating. He explained when to pull the clutch and when to let go, and what each step would feel like when I performed them. I was a bit taken aback I’d always viewed Sentaro as I bit of a meathead, but when it came to mechanical things like this not only was he better than them at me, but he was also a very good teacher.

“So that’s all there is to it. All that’s left to do now is put her in gear and take off! Go ahead, give it a try.” I gulped, I’d been acting confidently at first but now that I knew it was actually time to drive the thing I was terrified.

“Right…step one…hold clutch… step two shift down to first…step three…slowly let off the clutch while hitting the gas,” I repeated the steps out loud to myself again as I did them, and the bike immediately stalled out and jolted me so hard I nearly fell over. “What the hell? I did everything right…”

“That’s okay, you did good your timing was just off. Trust me it happens, try it again.” I restarted the bike and gave it another go, almost instantly stalling out again. This proceeded again and again for over an hour. Occasionally I would get the bike rolling for a few feet and then freak out, stalling it again. Sentaro encouraged me the whole time, telling me he went through the exact same process when he first learned. The two of us kept going this way until it started to get dark out, but I never made it more than a few yards without stalling. Finally, I gave up. Putting the kickstand down and threw my hands in the air.

“I just can’t do it! It's too much to remember and do all at once…I’ll never be able to get the hang of it…” I was more dejected than I had ever been in my life, feeling like I’d been defeated by a hunk of scrap metal on two wheels.

“What are you talking about? You did great! Way better than I did my first day. I was so scared when I was learning it took me a whole week just to not confuse my lefts and my rights!” I could tell Sen was just trying to be nice and reassure me, but something about it got under my skin and pissed me off.

“I’m not doing great, I suck! No matter what I do nothing is ever going to change! It doesn’t matter what I want out of life, all my life is ever going to amount to is whatever HE wants! The last thing I need right now is you yelling instructions in my ears all afternoon!” I blurted all of this out angrily, practically screaming in Sen’s face without realizing it.

“We’re not talking about motorcycles anymore… are we?” Sen said in a low somber voice. I looked around a bit dazed and surprised. I hadn’t even realized I’d pushed my finger into Sen’s chest and was nearly right on top of him. Sen didn’t do anything wrong… He was just trying to help and I berated him for it.

“I’m sorry. I know you’re just trying to help but I have a lot on my mind right now.” I sat down on the cold asphalt of the parking lot beside the bike, feeling like a complete ass.

“We made a pact, Ren. This is the whole reason why! We need to start relying on each other when we can’t handle things ourselves… that’s the whole point!” Sen knelt down beside me, placing a hand on my shoulder as I got a bit teary-eyed. I didn’t want to admit it, but he was right. I had to start opening up or I’d never be able to complete my end of the promises I’d made.

“I’m just worried, ya know? I have no idea how I’m going to stand up to my dad…And even if I do, I could literally ruin my whole future.” Sen gave me a comforting look before taking a seat right beside me.

“It doesn’t have to be something big. It could be anything at all, it just has to show him that you’re a man now and you can make your own decisions.” The air had gotten quite a bit colder, and the breath coming out of Sentaro’s mouth as he spoke dissipated into a frosty white plume of water molecules.

“My dad set up a date on New Year’s day for me and Hifumi. I didn’t mention it to her before because I didn’t want her to be bummed out that there was no way I can make it.”I sighed, hesitating for a moment as I looked up to the stars in the cold night sky. I knew what I wanted to tell him, but I wasn’t sure if it was the right time. But if it wasn’t now, would the right time ever come?

“Sen…”

“Yeah?”

“I think I’m in love with Aiko” He didn’t say anything at first, but I could see his lips smiling a bit as he sat there looking up at the sky with me.

“I know you are. And I think she likes you too ya know.” He looked over at me, gently punching me on the shoulder.

“What should I do?” I asked, feeling like the whole situation was hopeless.

“So dump Hifumi and you piss your old man off. That’s nothing new, just another day. But if you don’t do anything you’ll have to live the rest of your life not knowing if you and Aiko could have been something. Can you live with that?” Sen’s words cut so deeply into me that it felt like he’d dragged a razor blade across my heart. He was right, I don’t think I could live with myself if I didn’t at least tell Aiko how I felt. Sentaro Sat up suddenly, looking over at me with wide eyes.

“Wait a minute… I have an idea… you kill two birds with one stone!” I blinked and gave him a look that let him know he’d lost me entirely.

“Here’s what you do…First things first, you come up with some excuse to tell Aiko…Some reason you’re going to have to be late that night. The two of us will head over to Yokohama for the festival like we originally planned. Then you call Hifumi and tell her you wanna meet up for your date early to break the news. THEN as fast as you can you catch the next train to Yokohama, make it just in time for the fireworks, and…boom! You swipe Aiko right off her feet!”

“........Sentaro, you’re a damn genius and I love you for it!” I couldn’t contain myself and grabbed his face, kissing him on the cheek.

“Blegh… gross you weirdo…if you wanna thank me why don’t you take me out for some soba noodles before we go home…I’m starving. But before that, hop on the bike and give it one last try.” Sentaro smiled at me.

“Do I really have to?” I groaned, not wanting to even think about motorcycles ever again.

“Just one more try, what could it hurt?” Sentaro got up and stepped back, gesturing towards the motorcycle.

“Alright, one more try…” I hopped on and hit the start button.

“Just remember what I told you, you got it” Sentaro gave me a thumbs up and a big toothy grin.

“Okay… Hold clutch…shift to first… let go of clutch while hitting the gas and…” The bike started to glide forward, I revved the throttle a little and the bike picked up speed, coasting through the empty lot. “I’m doing it Sen! I’m doing!” I sped up a bit more, getting a little over-ambitious. Before I knew it I was running out of road. I looked at my left hand and then my right, I couldn’t remember which hand did what…

“Just shift to neutral!” Sen shouted as he realized something was wrong and started running to catch up to me.

“Shift to…nuetral…?” I pulled the clutch in with my left hand and found the neutral position with my foot, the bike slowly rolling to a stop right before it rolled into a parking barrier. Sen came sprinting up beside me, hunching over and panting feverishly for air as he hit the off button on the bike.