For New Year's Eve this Year; I broke up with my girlfriend

“Hifumi… there’s no easy way to say this so… I’m just gonna say it and you can react however you want…” I took a deep breath. “ I think we should see other people.” I let out a sigh of relief, just getting the words out made me feel as though a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

Hifumi had been sitting on the other side of the table blowing bubbles into her milkshake as she kicked her feet back and forth. Hifumi was a simple beauty, her long black hair flowed down around her face before pouring onto her shoulders, and continuing down her back. She’d always reminded me of one of those classic Japanese Geisha paintings from long ago.

“Okay.”

“Okay?... That's it? Just okay?” I’d envisioned this conversation going a thousand different ways, but this was not one of them. I thought for sure there would at least be a few tears. I was almost offended by how well Hifumi seemed to take the news.

“To be honest, Ren… I was going to tell you the same thing. I just didn’t know when would be the right time… I’m not so good with things like that.” Hifumi propped her elbow up on the table and rested her head on her fist, giving me the shy little smile she always had since we were kids.

“Really? I can’t believe it, why?” if anything I was the one that was more upset between the two of us. Was there something wrong with me? I was supposed to marry this girl in another year.

“It's nothing personal really… I’ve just… been making a lot of changes.” Hifumi seemed to intentionally keep this answer vague, glancing out the restaurant window at the cold night sky.

“Changes? What do you mean?” She’d completely thrown me for a loop, I was glad the breakup went so smoothly…but I couldn’t help being a bit curious why that was.

“You’re going to think it's crazy, but… I’m not going into law school when I graduate anymore!” Hifumi laughed as if what she had said was equally as absurd to her as it was to me hearing it for the first time.

“What?! Well, what are you going to do? I mean your family is just like mine… our whole lineage has been lawyers for generations, isn’t your dad going to be pissed?” The waitress had come and given us both our meals, but I hadn’t even noticed. I was too invested in the conversation at hand to even think about food now.

“It’s a funny story, actually… my dad always got mad at me for not being a part of enough extra-curricular activities at school, so this year I took up creative journalism. It was really fun and for the first time, I made a lot of friends…I know it doesn’t come with the same money or prestige that being a lawyer does, but I told my dad was adamant about the change… when I graduate I want to go to University to become a professional Journalist”

Hifumi giggled, her nose wrinkling up. She had always been a cute girl, and she had been a good friend to me. Before I met Sentaro, she may have been my only friend…even if it was all predetermined by our parents.

“Wow… that must have been scary for you to do… Tell your dad your flipping the whole vision he had set up for you on its head…” I really wasn’t talking about Hifumi anymore, so much as I was talking about myself.

“Oh, he was livid at first… But I did so well in class I even got to be head of the school newspaper… I got to travel all over and report on all the school sports events… when my dad saw how happy it all made me and how good I was at it… I think it changed his mind a little.” Hifumi loudly sucked through her straw and took a big sip of milkshake, reaching into the glass to pluck out the cherry that has sunken into its pink murky depths.

“Really? Wow… I wish my dad would react that well if I told him I was making a change that big.” I knew if I’d told my dad I was going to be anything other than a lawyer he’d probably kick me out of the house right then and there and disown me.

“Oh, so you’re having second thoughts about your future career too?” Hifumi slipped the cherry into her mouth and pulled the stem out from it, gulping it down as she awaited my response.

“My career? No… Every day when I was a kid I got to see my dad walk out the door in his fancy suit with that big briefcase. I always thought he was the coolest guy in the world… Some days he’d come home and do mock trials with me and teach me about the judicial system… we’d stay up late watching those ‘ who done it’ courtroom movies on TV together… No, I definitely want to be a lawyer, and not just because my old man tells me to.”

I smiled thinking back to those times as a kid. My dad wasn’t always the cold insensitive man he acted like now…What changed? When had we become so distant from each other that I was afraid to tell him anything about myself?

“Well if it's not your career, what else could you be thinking about changing that would upset your father so much?” I frowned, glancing off to the side so I could fix my eyes on the floor in an attempt to mask my embarrassment. “You mean… us?” Hifumi laughed out loud.

“What’s so funny about that?! Our dads have been planning to have us be married practically since we were born! Of course, breaking up with you has me a nervous wreck! They even had it written down on official paperwork and everything!” How could Hifumi seem so lax about that…

“Who told you that? Ren, do you even have an idea how Omiai works in Japan?” Hifumi tilted her head with an amused little look on her face.

“Omi what now?” Truth be told I’d never really asked questions, mom and dad always just talked as if Hifumi and I were destined to be married and I went along with it.

“Omiai…. Japan hasn’t practiced actual fully arranged marriage in a long time. Omiai is when the parents of a child go out and find someone they think is a suitable partner, then they try to introduce the two naturally in hopes it will blossom into a fruitful relationship that everyone involved can be happy about… It might be a little dishonest, but it certainly isn’t a contractual marriage or anything like that!” I suppose it was my own fault for never asking questions or daring to stir from what my father wanted as a kid… I guess maybe I deserved the foolish feeling that was growing in my gut.

“Wait… so if that’s the case…why were we together as a couple at all for all this time?” Was I being strung along this entire time and I hadn’t even realized it?

“I do have feelings for you, Ren. You were always a good friend to me and I’ll never forget that. But you’ll be going to Law school in Tokyo to work for your dad while I’ll be all the way down to Osaka University for journalism. I had to be honest with myself and admit it just couldn’t work out, and that’s okay!” Hifumi smiled at me, before turning the questions back around to me.

“So does the fact we’re in a diner breaking up with each other on New Years mean you’ve caught feelings for someone else?” I immediately thought of Aiko and smiled. “I thought so, what's she like?” My face had given me away, but Hifumi seemed more interested than upset.

“She’s the best. She makes me feel like I don’t have to be afraid… like I’m not so tiny and helpless anymore.” I couldn’t stop grinning as I spoke.

“Good for you, Ren! I’m so happy for you.” Hifumi beamed a big cheerful smile at me before tilting her head back so she could lift up her glass and pour the frothy remnants of whip cream that had accumulated at the bottom into her mouth.

“What about you though? Aren’t you upset about being alone?” I hadn’t really considered how Hifumi would go forward from this point in terms of dating. Neither of us really had any romantic encounters outside of what little we’d done with one another, and to call what we had a romance was a bit of a stretch, to begin with. I’m not sure we ever made it beyond holding hands.

“Well… there’s a reason I’m choosing Osaka University in particular… My classmate Izumi is going there and I want to go with her. We’ve gotten really close this past year and I think I’m crushing pretty hard at this point. I think it's about time I make it official, now that I’m single. ”Hifumi seemed to redden in the face as she spoke about this crush of hers.

“Wait, Izumi? You mean another girl?” Hifumi shyly ruffled the hair on the back of her head and laughed.

“Yeah, I’m sure my dad won’t be so thrilled about that part either when he finds out. But if he takes it even half as well as he took me committing to journalism, I’ll be okay with that.”

“Honestly, I’m a bit relieved. It feels good to know that even though we’re parting ways we’ll both still have someone.” I’d spent far too much time dreading this conversation, and now that it was nearing its end I don’t think it could have gone much better. Just this once, it seemed the stars had aligned in my favor.

“Speaking of that… aren’t you planning on spending the New Year with your new sweetheart? Izumi is out of town celebrating with her grandparents so I really don’t have anywhere else tonight except back home… I assumed you chose today because you were going to go see her?” This whole evening had taken so many unexpected turns that I had completely lost track of time, I pulled out my phone hesitantly… it was already just shy of 11:00 and I still had to make it to the train station in time for my 40-minute ride to Yokohama!

“Ah, crap! I am so late! Sorry Hifumi but I gotta go…” I jumped out of the booth and ran to the door, about to leave when Hifumi suddenly called out to me.

“Hey, Ren!” I stopped, halfway out the doorway as I turned to look back at her.

“Happy New Year! I hope it brings you everything you want!” I couldn’t help but smile.

“You too Hifumi!” We both gave each other one last glance before I booked it out the door into the cold winter night, using every ounce of strength I could muster to get to the station on time.

“There were a million thoughts running through my mind that night, but the one that shone brightest of all was

The thought of Aiko’s face being lit up under the night sky

By colorfully exploding fireworks.”