Level 9-1

„This is all incredibly embarrassing,“ Nadeshiko commented, after I recounted the events of the past few days to her.

I impatiently tapped my finger on the table in front of me.

„That was my so-called career then, huh?“

„If that is what you want,“ she said nonchalantly as she took a sip from her cappuccino.

„I’m not even sure if I qualify for the LolHive contest anymore!“ I exclaimed. „I have more than enough followers, but I haven’t been streaming as regularly anymore lately. And with all the controversy attached to my name I doubt they’d want someone like me anyway ...“

„I ... honestly don’t think it’s a bad thing,“ Nadeshiko countered, putting her mug on the table in front of her. „To be honest I have been thinking of getting that idea out of your head.“

„Excuse me?“

She sighed resting her head on her right hand.

„Look, lately you have been a mess. And that’s fine, I’m not judging you for all of that. But if you signed a contract with LolHive, well, you’d be under a contract. You’ve always been ... unconventional. To be honest I don’t think you would fit in with the company. You’re too unpredictable. You’re just doing your thing, and I think that is awesome. Don’t let yourself be restricted by the promise of fame and money. I think you have what it takes to reach all that by yourself. So, stay yourself and do what you do best.“

„Fuck some shit up?“

„Precisely. Cause some discombobulation.“

„What? What were those words?“

„Pardon me, I am trying to remain my best seiso self at any conceivable moment.“

„Ehh, I am not familiar with all the actual V-Tuber lingo.“

„See, you are just proving my point. You don’t really fit into the scene, do you? By ‚being seiso‘ I mean, being the perfect, innocent woman any man desires.“

„Careful not to accidentally confirm the cliche of women gaming only for male attention.“

„Blergh.“

„How very un-seiso of you.“

„I can only keep up my seisoness for so long ... that’s why I go to this cafe regularly. To practice.“

„What makes that so different from me though? As far as I can tell, you’re also just going for the ‚fake it till you make it‘ approach.“

„How did you get into V-Tubing?“

„By accident.“

„That’s the difference. You got into it by – pardon my unseisoness – fucking around. You had no idea about V-Tubing, yet you still just went for it. That’s a quality, that made your streams unique. Don’t stifle your creativity, by going to that company. Please.“

„You know, what would be very seiso of you right now? If you did that Japanese kneeling thing right now.“

„I am not going to do that, for that is below me.“

After a second of staring at each other tensely, we broke into a slight chuckle at the weirdness of this exchange.

I paused and looked her in the eyes intently.

„I’ve been thinking about all that for a while. Being honest, being myself, all that jazz. I didn’t know how to do that at all. But after what happened during my last stream ... I think I might just try and use that to my advantage.“

„What do you mean?“

„I mean ... not being Gaia. But being Guy.“