They Call Me Mr. Miss The Bowl

Glossy beige walls surrounded the marble staircase, which I reached the top of. Endless chandeliers and other hanging glass decorated the ceiling, which itself sparkled from the light.

Various doors were found on both sides of the hallway - they were probably for our maids. Turning around a corner, I tucked both hands into my trousers: thousand-dollar pants which my father insisted for me to wear at all times. I’m sure being surrounded by endless glass and pendants further spilled a rich aura for anyone that stepped foot into our mansion.

Behind me was a maid, following me around no matter where I turned.

“Kai, please just listen to me,” the maid continued. “Please, convince your father to put off the deal! My husband’s business will go under at this rate, I beg of you!”

All I could do was ignore her by glancing away, whistling, and playing with my eighteen-karat diamond earrings. Once I finally reached the kitchen, which featured a large wooden dining table and multiple chairs of the same design, I sat down and opened my phone. The table was covered in a clean white cloth, and the wine glasses and golden plates on top were fit to serve a king’s feast.

Finally, the maid sighed and left the dining room.

Just what does that old witch want? I thought. The entire time she was pestering me, my eyes darted away, so I didn’t catch a single glance of her appearance either.

“Kai!”

“Ah, shit, from one annoying person to the next,” I mumbled.

A woman named Mila emerged from the golden double doors on the opposite side of the dining hall. She always wore a clean white dress whenever she came to our mansion, but today, only a simple shirt and shorts were on display. Her face was filled with rage, and I could even see her angry head of wrinkles from across the room.

“What do you want, Mila?”

“Kai, you…” tears filled her eyes, yet my facial expression didn’t change. I didn’t even bother lifting my head off my arm which rested against the table.

“Mila, get out of my fucking sight.”

Mila then began floating in the air, causing me to squirm out of my seat. “M-Mila?! What the fuck is going on with your body?!”

A pinch drilled my back, and I spun around to find the same maid as before floating in the air as well, wearing a red devil-faced mask.

“W-What the fuck?!” I cried, slamming my bum to the ground in fright. I crab-walked back and found myself cornered in the room. Both the mask-wearing maid and Mila continued gliding in the air at me. Until…

“Gaaaaaaaaaah!” I screamed, waking up from the nightmare I was having. I had fallen off my bed; my body was drenched in sweat, gluing me to the wooden planks of the floor. “Ugh…”

Checking my phone, I breathed a sigh of relief and rested both hands on my chest while still laying my back on the cold wood. What a fucking dream…

The details were a blur, but I couldn’t help but feel a sense of déjà vu. Just why was I sweating so much when my heater was turned off in late November?

I stood up and tiptoed to the bathroom. On the same floor as me were Eleanor and Leo, sleeping next to each other on futons which their grandma provided.

“How did I not wake them up with my scream?” I murmured to myself. Earlier in the evening, Rin had visited our place to return my red scarf; it was then when Eleanor dropped the bomb about my father and how it affected Rin’s soccer team. After leaving with a shell-shocked face, I never got to patch things up properly, and all I was able to do next was text Lily that I would no longer be living at her place since I got my own room back.

“Fuck, this stinks. Everyone probably hates me now…”

Sliding the bathroom door behind me, I ignored the lock, since no one besides me was awake anyways.

“Ahhhh…” I closed my eyes and moaned, emptying my bladder after having not done so since dinner time. What came next was not what I expected.

“So, are you going to marry me?”

Haha, who the fuck just said that - wait - huh?

“What did you just say?!”

I spun around; the bathroom door was completely open and standing in her cute pink pajamas out in the open was Eleanor, who was rubbing the tiredness out of her eyes.

“Kyaaaaaahhh!”

“Oh fuck fuck fuck sorry!”

I had forgotten that I was still in the middle of my pee session. Just her words alone had caused me to lose my sanity. This was perhaps the second biggest blunder of my life - bits of pee splashed onto her pajama bottoms, and the rest splattered onto my bathroom floor and carpet. Her top, which remained mostly untouched, was barely covering her breasts properly. The smell oozed into my nostrils, and probably hers too.

I turned back around and held in the rest.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you were there!” I apologized. If I could roll up into a ball and have Rin kick me off a cliff, I would. Zipping my pants back up, I quickly reached for a towel.

“Ugh…” Eleanor squeezed her eyes and gritted her teeth, looking like she was about to explode into tears. Trust me, I don’t blame her.

“Do you have an extra pair of pajamas? I’ll clean your dirty ones immediately.”

“Y-Yes.”

A seismic wave of relief overflowed me once she answered back, and I wiped my sweat-covered forehead. I thought she would’ve wanted to slap me or -”

Slap!

“Owww!” I shrieked. Eleanor smacked my cheek like I was a baseball.

“T-That’s what you get,” she muttered with a tear in her eye.

I glanced at the mirror; a large red hand shape painted my cheek, and rightfully so.

“S-Sorry again.”

“It’s okay. Please, wash my clothing if you can.”

“Ah, right.”

Eleanor slammed the bathroom door shut to change pajamas. All I could initially do was stare at the floor, begging for a swift death. Once I saw the mess I created, I grabbed another towel and frantically wiped around.

“W-What’s going on, sis?” Leo seemed to have woken up from the madness.

“Don’t worry about it,” Eleanor answered.

She’s a Goddess, I thought. I don’t know if I could’ve hidden something like this from my own sibling.

“By the way,” Eleanor slid open the door again, this time in a pair of light purple pajamas covered in cute bears. She handed me her wet pair, which I ruined. “I meant what I asked. Father wants you to marry into our family, which means I’d be your fiancée.”

My entire body except my head froze. I blinked rapidly, processing the absurdity flowing from her mouth.

“Wait, are you saying…”

“My father is the man who offered to clean up your debt, Kai.”

The world couldn’t have been any smaller. It didn’t take me long to connect the dots: Eleanor and Leo were the kids of that tall, mysterious man with the trench coat and fedora - Dally Tren, who was the son of my landlord, Mrs. Tren.

I gulped while turning the sink off. My palms rested against the tap, and goosebumps popped out throughout my arms.

“I’m sorry…” I answered, keeping my eyes down at the sink. “But I still refuse his offer. And I’m sure you’re quite happy with that too.”

“I see,” Eleanor turned around, her hands together behind her back somewhat playfully. “Well, I don’t exactly mind marrying you, to be honest.”

What?

“Doesn’t the deal benefit you?” she continued. “You’ll get your debt paid off, and you can renounce your father’s name on live television for all to hear. Isn’t that what you want to do? Didn’t your evil father put you into this misery in the first place?”

Turning back around at me, a menacing smile emerged from her face which sparkled in the bathroom light. From that point on, I knew she was trouble.