The Girl in the White Room

I am in a small room, all four walls are painted in a luminous white that reflected the intensity of the equally small lamp that illuminated the entire room, which sometimes flickered, probably due to its old age. It was an old lamp. 

In this small room there was only one piece of furniture, and that was an old, old, wooden chair, on which I was sitting. It wasn't exactly comfortable, but because of her age, you would expect it to be worse.

In this small room, besides the old lamp and the old chair, which were keeping me company, there was a young girl sitting silently on her own legs, looking at her I guessed she is about 24 years old.

- How much longer do I have to stay here? - I asked her

- Long enough - she answered me after a long silence.

- And what is enough?

- When you love me again. - The girl answers me in a broken voice, swallowing a hard cry.

The truth is, I don't recognize her. In her eyes, I am an old soul in her life, but in my eyes, she is just a young girl like any I would meet on the street.

- But, who are you?

-How can you not remember me? - she answers me again in a broken voice

-I -

She interrupts me.

- I don't understand how everything can change so fast, I don't understand how you can forget everything we've been through, I should be everything to you, isn't that what you used to say? Didn't you say you loved me? - She sighs - Tell me, please, what is my name?

- I would like to know. But I don't.

- Why….Why I’m the only one you forgot about?

- Forgot?

 - After that bike incident, you lost every memorie we create together…You remember everyone, every single person that cross in your world, but i’m the only one you forget about… and, why?

- I am sorry.

-Sorry for what?

She cries.

- Sorry, because I don't remember you, i am sorry, because you are suffering because of me.

- I am the person that should ask for sorry! I lock you here, trying to make you remember me! I thought, in moments of despair, that if I forced you to look at my face for hours, you could remember me. I lock you in this white room, praying for something to change….

-I am sorry.

- Stop. - Her voice crack like some child cry

-I am sorry, because i can not love you.

-I know. i know. i know. i know. I know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. I know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. I know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. I know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. I know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. I know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. I know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. I know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. I know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. I know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. i know. I know. i know. i know. i know. SHUT UP

The silence took over the room again, she was crying on the floor, and I stood up from the chair and tried to hug her. But she pushed me out and yelled.

- Can we try again? Can you try to love me again?

- You should give me the opportunity to live, I understand that you love the person I was, I'm sure that you are suffering, but I can't force myself to love someone, I can't force myself to do that. I’m truly sorry, but I think that isn’t fair…You understand?

She didn't respond. I opened the door, and still looking at her, I left that white room. She stayed, crying.

In the end, I remembered her name, she is Yuuki, I didn’t say it, because that is the only thing about her in my memories, her name. I couldn’t give her a fake hope, a hope of me getting better from this. Years have passed, and she does this every time, in the hope to “heal” me.

I’m sure she is a great person, i’m sure of that, and I know she really love me, although, she wouldn’t do all of this if not. But I feel I have to live my life, and not be stuck at a past that says nothing to me.

I’m in love with that old lamp.

I’m in love with that old chair.

I’m in love with that white room.

- Goodbye, Yuuki. - I say, looking at the closed dor.