Vol. 5, Chapter 75: A Remembrance

There was a young woman, a young woman who, due to a certain folly, ended up with a child before she was considered fully grown. Stubbornly, she decided to keep said child, thinking that perhaps one day, the father who had disappeared overnight would return for her. A naive thought, certainly. Foolish even. However, she was allowed to keep the child. Still, young and foolish she was, she could not have been able to properly raise the child and for the longest time, the child was raised by her grandparents.

In time, the child grew up, as they do. But, the mother, while she had gotten older, it could not be said that she had grown. She remained timid and depressing, preferring to hide away in her room than do anything else. Compared to her own child, she was rather pathetic. In fact, rather than her mother, the child saw her more of a sister, a slow, troublesome, and worthless elder sister.

Even when the mother had somehow managed to get herself a job, she hardly changed. When she was refused pay by that sleazy boss of hers, it was her own daughter that had to stand up for her. She couldn't do anything on her own. Her daughter, despite being the child, had to toughen up for her sake. Because the mother was so useless, she had to keep up the appearance of being strong. Even though in all likelihood she'd liked to be spoiled and taken care of, she was the one who had to become the one taking care of the other.

If there was one thing to be glad about in this situation, it is that they do not get along badly. While the two aren't best of friends, they aren't bitter with one another, at least not outwardly. Though brief, they can hold conversations, and they'd say their good mornings if they see each other during the mornings and good nights if they see one another before they go to bed. It wasn't the most satisfying of relationships, but both would agree that it was better than the two ignoring one another and pretending that the other does not exist.

Then, on one fateful day, the mother caught a glance by chance. It was a stuffy day and their household did not use air conditioners due to financial issues. And so, the door to the daughter's bedroom remained open along with the windows. As the fan was blasting at the machine and the daughter sitting in front of it, the mother saw on the PC's monitor displaying a log-in screen. There, she caught the vibrantly colored title of the game displayed front and center. It was then an idea came to her.

First, she got herself a free trial version of the game, Elysium Online, to try it out before getting the full version. Having peeked at her daughter's monitor, she knew what her in-game name was. When she saw it with her marvelous eyesight, it was something that made her giddy. To think she'd use that name of all things.

Still, she couldn't just go straight to her. This had to be a secret. She can't know it's her. The mother wanted to approach her daughter as a stranger. She wanted to start over from the beginning. That being said, the daughter's level was quite high. If she wanted to play with her, she'd have to level up plenty.

Though she had little time due to her new job, day by day, she progressed a little and made some friends along the way. She leveled up, participated in raids, and obtained gear. She was enjoying it too, and bit by bit, by playing and interacting with others, her confidence grew and she became just a bit more cheerful a person. Even so, she hadn't forgotten why she had started playing. She still dreamed of being able to chat and play with her daughter, not as her useless mother, but as a friend. She'd imagine it, playing it out in her head, and she'd smile to herself as he hoped that one day it will come true.

Truth is, she was afraid of her daughter. She wondered if she hated her, if she hated the mother who was only obsessed with pitying herself and wasn't able to raise her properly. By the time she had finally come out of it, her daughter was already grown and her gaze had become cold. Each time the mother tried to speak to her, just by looking into the daughter's eyes, she'd clam up. The mother was a timid woman, and what she feared most, more than anything, was being rejected upfront. Even though she knew in her heart that her daughter did see her as much of a mother, she was terrified of one day finally hearing it actually spoken.

Then, the day finally came. She knew when her daughter would go online and which raid she was going to participate in. It was the boss that came with the latest update. At the time, she wasn't sure what she'd do once she ran into the daughter. Even if they met, the daughter who had been playing for a while now should have herself people she knew, people she'd invite to party up for the raid before searching for some random stranger. This was the latest raid, after all, there should be plenty of her friends who would join her. However, by some kind of strange coincidence, on that day, she had only five members with her. There was space for just one more member. The mother was nervous, she didn't think she'd get this far. She wasn't sure what to type into the chat. Her heart was throbbing so much that it was difficult to breathe and her fingers trembled so terribly that she kept hitting the wrong key.

A jingle from the game startled her. It wasn't exactly a particularly loud jingle, but upon hearing it, she could have sworn that her heart skipped a beat. It was a jingle signifying a direct message.

[Are you alone? Do you want to join my party? We need another member.]

It was rather embarrassing. She had found herself crying. It was just a casual invitation, but she cried anyways. She was so weak, so fragile, so useless, but even so, she at least gathered enough strength to type out a reply.

She didn't do all that well in the raid. She was too emotionally overwhelmed to do anything properly. She messed up more times than she could count and the more she messed up, the more she panicked, and the more she panicked, she messed up even more. Even though they somehow managed to clear it, she was sure she'd never be invited again. It was only to be expected. In the end, no matter what she does, she's going to mess up, that's how it is. But then-

[Don't mind it. It was the first time anyone fought in it. No one would know exactly what to do on their first time.]

Somehow, from that day onwards, the two kept meeting and hung out with one another. In time, they even went on to form a guild and gathered a number of players. And though they've made plenty of friends of their own since then, they'd rarely be seen without one another. Hopefully, this will never change, no matter where they end up, even if it's some other world.

***

My body aches, so much so that every movement I make is painful, every toss and turn requires monumental effort. Yet, even if I just lie down, my back would hurt. I've been on bed for too long, far too long to be healthy.

I can do this. I should be able to.

I take a deep breath, then, enduring the screaming fibers of my muscles, I turn myself over.

"Eep!"

It hurts more than I expected, causing me to make a strange sound.

Maybe I should just lay here on my belly for a while... No, better not. I'll just get uncomfortable and try to turn myself over on my back again, and like so, the cycle perpetuates. I should get up and walk around for once. Now, my arms.

I twist and turn my arms, stretching them, preparing them for the task up ahead. As I move them I become clearly aware how sore they are, it's like sour plums dipped in raw lemon juices are rubbed against my tongue, except in this case, my muscles are experiencing the sensation.

"Hup!"

I push myself from the bed as the blanket over me slides off my back. Already, I miss the warmth, but I can't lose to the temptation. I've already gotten so far. I can't let myself fall.

I got my body upright, on my knees atop the soft bed. With the warm sunlight from the window hitting my face, I feel unbelievably drowsy. It would be so easy to just fall back into bed, so easy... Maybe I should just stay down till I sleep off this drowsiness......

"Not this time! Not this time, you hear!"

I pinch my own cheeks. I'm not about to lose, not after coming all this way. I shift myself from the bed and extend one of my feet towards the floor. Being made of stone similar to marble, the floor is cold to the touch of my barefoot, a surprise I am grateful for as it shook my drowsiness away. Following one foot is another, and soon I am standing.

I stretch my whole body while bath in the glow of the sun, trying to get rid of the stiffness in my body. As the crack and creeks of my bones and tendons reach my ears, I can also feel my body screaming in pain as the sores and aches assault me all at once. It's not great.

In the room, there is a dressing table. As I walk by it, I see in the mirror a diminutive girl, one whose hair is sickly white and has heavy bags hang under her eyes. I take a minute to finally recognize who I'm looking at. She's my player avatar, Toto, and from the looks of it, it seems like the after-effects of mana drain are still with her.

I sigh at the mirror, my mind lingering on what I've heard the other day, about what happened at the capital. The princess herself brought me the news, about how the [World Devourer Woods] had appeared in the capital with Cecilia and the rest trapped inside of it. The good news was that it caught the invading Dragonbroods as well, which is a comfort, I suppose. At least we're safe, for now. But, when I think of what might have happened to the others, I... I feel so helpless.

How many days has it been, since I've cooped myself in this room? Every time I approach the door, I find myself frozen. The thought of having to face what lies beyond its threshold paralyzes me. When did this world become such a terrifying place to me? It wasn't like this before. True, it was scary having to fight, but even then, I wasn't so afraid that I became unable to do anything. I had the others by my side helping me and I have people I had to protect. Now, however, when they're no longer beside me, the very thought of having to take action terrifies me to no end. Even though they should still be out there, even though I should be doing everything I can to get back to them, I couldn't get my legs to move beyond that door. Even though I could get myself off the bed, when it comes to that door, it feels as if heavy chains had been draped upon me. Even though it should be as easy as swinging the door open and stepping right out, the simple things I've done countless times before, right now, the handle seems to impossibly heavy and the air beyond the door feels so unbearably stagnant. I don't know what to do to get beyond this door, and neither do I know what I should be doing once I make it outside. Right now, it's as if I've returned to those days...

While at lost on what to do, on whether to just pace around the room till I wore myself down or to just lay back down onto the bed I've just worked so hard to get off of, I hear a ruckus from outside. Accompanied by the clanking of armors and jingles of chainmail, hurried footsteps arrive before the door to my room. With ease, the door I've struggled so much to open was torn open, just like that. However, what came for me isn't salvation, instead, it's more in line with something Aurelius would call 'a whole lot of trouble'.

Rushing into my room are soldiers, soldiers with helmets with a pair of protrusions on top, extra spaces made for the animalistic ears of the ones wearing them. Wearing helmets like these, it isn't hard to realize that they're in fact Beastkin soldiers. These soldiers, for some reason, have surrounded me, and with swords drawn and pointed my way, they told me not to move.

"Lady Toto! Under the orders of Lord Remus, you are now under arrest!"

With the mana drain still affecting my body, it'll be painful to cast spells, I've learned that firsthand. At times like these, I wished I picked a more physical class.

Unable to resist, I was dragged out of my room by the soldiers. Finally, for the first time in days, I took a step outside.

***

End of Chapter 75