The Confessions

I wanted to hide that, so I quickly ran into the bedroom and closed the door behind me. I was breathing heavily again, and I sat on the floor, leaning against the wall, and banged my head against it. I cried and felt disgusted with myself. My power could only knock somebody off their feet at first, but it shouldn't cause much pain, except for moral harm, of course. This time, however, I wanted Hyacinth to feel every second of my presence in his mind. I wanted him to suffer...

God, what have I done ?! I looked down at my trembling hands and remembered what I had wanted to do years ago, that first night at the Parker house. I shouldn't have hesitated then, why did Victor stop me then? It's time to finish the job? A gentle knock on the door pulled me out of my lethargy, only then did I realize that Kiba had been squeaking and scratching at the door for a long time.

"Lucretia, I'll let Kiba in to keep an eye on you, okay?" Tetsuya said in a worried tone, slightly muffled by the door.

At the same time, as soon as they slightly opened, the dog was already pushing inside. Kiba sat down in front of me and stared at me for a while, then he started licking my face as if he was trying to clean the tears from my face. I stopped him after a moment and pushed him away, not sure if our bonds should tighten.

"I didn't know you could be so scary," the dog said, trying to get closer to me again. "I'm sorry I didn't defend you, but I was afraid of you myself."

"I should apologize for scaring you," I said, hiding my face in my hands. "I am a monster."

In a moment I felt his paw on my hand, I looked up, he begged me not to think so and demanded to be stroked. I finally succumbed to him, it was a little reassuring as my hand sank into his soft fur. Kiba put his head on my thighs and tried to help me as he could by just being there.

"Do you know what your master was talking about?" I asked. "About this 'finishing things'?"

"Oh yes," the dog remembered. "This guy came here before and they had a fight, but my master didn't get tired at all. And this brother of yours is lame anyway."

"So that's it," I replied, and was startled when I heard the door open again. I closed my eyes, scared, but didn't hear any footsteps.

"I won't go in," said Tetsuya. "But drink and eat something. I will be sitting on the other side."

I opened my eyes uncertainly and saw only his hands with a steaming mug of tea. When I accepted him, he handed me a plate of sandwiches.

"Thank you," I replied honestly, realizing how hungry I was. "And sorry for the inconvenience."

"Stop it," he replied. "Can I leave the door open to make it easier for us to talk?" he asked and was relieved when I agreed. "I should apologize. Your brother is here because of me."

"What do you mean?" I asked, I didn't want to accuse him of anything, but to find out the truth. I just didn't know what really happened.

"I went to see your father this morning," he said. "They'd have gotten my number anyway, that you called him on my phone, and well I thought he should know you were safe. I wrote to him a while ago, and he felt so bad he asked Hyacinth to give him a lift to meet me, but he thought he would just leave him out and come home. Apparently, he must have heard that you are here and he came to save you from me.” He laughed softly.

"Kiba said you guys had a fight already," I interjected.

"Oh yes, this little traitor will tell you everything," he muttered, sighing slightly. "It is strange to think that when I went to one school with him for two years, we even became friends, but you don't have to worry, we would never become one. Are you angry?"

"No," I replied honestly. "I feel a little relieved. How's my father doing?"

"He would probably feel better to see with his own eyes that you are alive and well."

"I'll see him eventually," I said, blaming myself again.

"Remember that if you need to, you can stay here as much as you want, as much as you need," Tetsuya said hurriedly, I heard a certain rumble as if he had jumped to his feet.

"I don't want to impose myself," I said. "I just want to keep my promise and disappear."

"Why is it so important to you?" he asked with a heavy sigh.

"Because it's the most important thing that somehow kept me sane while they kept me in the mansion," I whispered as if I was ashamed to admit it out loud.

"Okay, we'll be even, but only if you promise me one more word, now without knowing what I'm going to ask for," he replied firmly. I shouldn't have put up with it, I guessed what it would be. I was furious with myself for not being able to keep my own decisions. "Promise you won't disappear."

"I promise." I smiled gently, the promise did not impose any specific moment.

Kiba lifted his head slightly and looked at me suspiciously. His fierce look and face said that I would better not try to do anything stupid. I stroked his head gently.

"It would be nice to tell someone who doesn't know the situation because you know ..." Tetsuya sighed heavily. "In general, everyone thinks the divorce is my fault. I don't want to say I'm completely blameless, but that's one of the reasons I came back here. I had fond memories of the two years I spent here before, so I thought it wouldn't hurt to move here." This is how I got here, he began his story as if from behind. I decided not to interrupt him and in the meantime eat the breakfast he had prepared for me. "So Evie and I met at work, but she was part of the laboratory team, we were both freshmen, so we quickly found a common language and fell in love, a year later we were already standing on the wedding carpet. Our families liked each other, and everything looked great. The first three years of marriage were really great ..."

He was silent for a moment, I was tempted to see what he looked like at that moment and what his face was when he remembered it. I thought he must have smiled fondly at the happiness he was enjoying with his wife at the time. I felt a little pang in my heart, I was jealous that no one thinks of me that way. Then I remembered that they had split up and I was a bit overwhelmed by curiosity.

"And then well, suddenly something between us started to fade. We argued more and more often, I wanted us to start a family. Evie said that, yeah sure, but I think she only said it because I wanted to hear it. As soon as I brought up this topic, she got mad at me and gradually began to work more and more. She returned to university to do another doctorate and was going to scientific conferences anywhere she could. We have moved apart as far as possible. My friends laughed at me for allowing her too much and that I should have just tricked her into pregnancy and presented her with a fait accompli, but I loved and respected her too much. I really wanted it to be our joint, unforced decision," he said sadly.

I wanted to peek out the door again, look at him, and read more, but I stopped myself. He didn't want anyone to judge him, but I felt I should wait before trying to cheer him up. I knew he wanted to talk off.

"Not that we aren't trying to fix anything," he continued the story. "It was fine for a moment, and then the topic of the family appeared somewhere. Evie was probably more tired than I was with the feeling that whatever we did, and if we did try, everything was going to break down anyway. And it was then that I thought that maybe the therapy would help us ... We were not even given a try." His voice trembled, I could only imagine him wiping a tear from his cheek.

"How long did you fight for your marriage?" I asked him to refrain from any action.

"More than a year, but we missed it in court. We didn't have any problems with the divorce case, we wanted to part in peace and respect for each other," he summed up and added after a moment. "Thanks for letting me talk this out.

"You tried," I commented. "Perhaps you both did not have the strength to fix everything or you simply were not supposed to be given it. Not for me to judge," I said and shrugged. "I hope we're even now."

We were silent for a moment. I didn't notice when Kiba fell asleep and stopped listening to our conversation. I thanked his master for breakfast and hospitality. On the one hand, I wanted to run away, my promise was fulfilled, and on the other, my curiosity was still unsatisfied. My heart wanted to stay and be closer to him and my mind was screaming for me to disappear and cause no more trouble.

"Lucretia, is it true what you told Hyacinth?" he asked curiously after a moment.

"What do you mean?" I asked surprised.

"That you would be able to erase your feelings for someone?" I raised my eyebrows, surprised why this interested him, he wanted to ask me for something later.

"The best I can do is bury it in someone's mind deep enough to make him feel like he has completely forgotten it, but I can't get rid of it. I think my grandmother can do it, that's why my aunt planned my escape," I replied.

"Someone wanted to hurt you there?" he asked worriedly "If you don't want to talk about what happened there, you don't have to tell me anything."

"No, I guess I can handle it," I muttered. "Grandma was fed up with my lack of willingness to cooperate, so she wanted to make a blank slate out of my mind so that I can be obedient."

"Why did she care so much about it?"

"I'll tell you as much as I know," I sighed. "It would be difficult to explain without a broader context. Powers have been manifested in my family for generations, it has stabilized us in an interesting position in the world. My ancestors made a fortune slowly working for governments, both good people and bad people. We have connections and influence in many places. In the family, everyone is fighting for power and control over the rest. My grandma Luisa has a twin, Matilda, and well their rivalry is pretty fierce. The first had two daughters - my mother and Aunt Linda, the second had two sons - Micheal and Matthew."

"Is that some strange tendency with names?"

"Kind of," I laughed. "Everyone from Luisa is named L, and from Matilda to M. Grandma was happy, she thought that she had a better chance to rule because eventually, daughters would be easier to keep with the family, especially when grandchildren would appear. Because you know who will be in this family once, it will not come out so easily, especially since they invested in all possible new medical technologies and commissioned research on our genes in order to choose potential partners as best as possible, so that 'the gifting gene', as they call it," I said it disgustedly. "Certainly passed to the next generation. They have already examined me on this account, apparently, my grandmother was about to choose suitable candidates for me."

"I won't say, it sounds awful," muttered Tetsuya.

"Well grandma is a little crazy, the rest of the family was nice. She also behaved like that at first, she wanted to win me over for good, but in the end, she showed her true nature. Under the pretext of college, my mother ran away from home so as not to participate in family practice. Grandma somehow got over it, and she still had Linda, but it turned out that my aunt couldn't have children, and my mother met my dad. Of course, no one liked her choice, she severed all contact with her family. Grandma didn't think Dad would give me the genes strong enough for me to inherit power, but my aunt accidentally found out I had it."

"She saw in you a chance to rebuild the power of her part of the family?"

"Exactly, at first she was showing beautiful visions of how to use my powers, how strong I could be, how much they wanted me back, and so on. At first, you know, I was thrilled to have contact with my family, but when I found out the truth about what they were doing, I didn't want anything to do with them. Since I didn't want to join her mission voluntarily, she decided to psychologically torment me until she got bored and you know what she wanted to do."

"I'm sorry," Tetsuya said, his voice feeling a little closer now.

I closed my eyes, afraid that he would be up to something. I almost jumped waking Kiba as he grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently. I felt strangely at ease as if the first time I actually believed someone was when he conveyed that everything was going to be okay. I returned the gesture, I wanted it to mean something more, to be an introduction to something more. I had the right to ask for it. Where are my resolutions to the disappearance of everyone who was close to me? I laughed miserably at my own weakness, which was inconsistency.

"I really shouldn't have asked that, I just didn't think I'd fall in love again so soon and I got scared that I might be not over Evie yet," Tetsuya said, I sensed his presence next to me. I didn't notice when he got there. "I'm not afraid of your power, and neither should you. You just have to believe that you rule it, not it rules you."

"Please don't say such things," I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut tighter. "I'm a monster and I don't want to hurt anyone anymore."

"But I'd be grateful if you would give me a chance," he said in a tone so pleasant it was almost seductive.

I felt that he was speaking honestly and that he could help me and that he wanted to give us a chance. I wanted to listen to it, should I really try it? My heart has been beating with acceleration for a long moment, demanding that I should let it rule for a moment. Full of concern, I agreed. I was afraid it would end up like the others. I lifted my eyes slowly and felt the power leap forward, but stopped as if surprised that someone was inviting it in, that it didn't have to force itself anywhere. I stared at Tetsuya, though he didn't know me, there was so much trust in his gaze and warmth in his smile. The power finally seized his mind and stepped inside more gently than usual, when it happened, the man inhaled deeply. I got scared and with a great effort forced the power to withdraw.

"Sorry," I said, hanging my head. "I shouldn't agree to that."

"Well, the feeling was a bit intense, but I was too focused on your beautiful eyes to care. I could stare at them endlessly.” He laughed and sat down next to me. "It wasn't that bad, was it?"