The Anger

When I woke up and opened my eyes, I saw Kiba in front of me, staring at me with all his doggy power, which should guarantee him he to get everything he wants. I turned to the other side and noticed that I was in bed alone in bed. I rolled over on my back and stared at the ceiling for a long moment. I recalled the events of the night before with a blush on my face, wondering how my heart had lived through it. I was glad that it only ended with a kiss because I don't think I could survive something more mentally. Besides, I dared to think of nothing more.

Gaining a boyfriend and the first kiss seemed like an achievement, to begin with."If master slept here, it means that you stay with us forever?" the dog asked when I finally looked at him.

I just patted him but didn't answer. I didn't want to hurt him, and it probably would have happened if I had told him the truth, but the lie didn't get in the way either. After all, I couldn't look into his pleading doggy eyes and announce that I have to go somewhere, but I will be able to return before the evening walk with a promise that I will accompany him as well. Meanwhile, Tetsu peered into the room, I looked at him and raised my eyebrows.

"I thought you quit the seduction game. From what I remember, you were still lying down in your clothes," I noticed, rising slightly on my elbows.

"I think so, too," he said, pretending to think deeply about where his T-shirt had gone. "The night was long, maybe someone persuaded me to undress a little," he added in a serious tone.

"I don't remember making such a proposal," I muttered, starting the discussion and watching the man approach me.

"Who said it was a verbal request, gestures also count," he replied in a calm but confident tone, bringing his face closer to mine.

He saw me blush and decided to give me a head start and end the discussion with a kiss. He stated that he would give me some more time to learn word games and said that he simply stained his shirt while making breakfast. However, he grew serious as we sat side by side on the bed.

"What were you thinking about?" he asked worriedly.

"Over what to say to Kiba," I replied, looking away.

"Exactly, you haven't answered me yet," the resentful dog interrupted.

"What were you asking, doggie? Probably something important." Tetsuya stroked his head reassuringly as if he guessed what was going on."He wanted to know if I would stay with you forever," I replied sadly.

"Neither of us would mind." The man smiled sadly and grabbed my hand when I didn't say anything for a long time. "But you have to talk to me because I do not read your mind." He gave me a slight nudge to cheer me up a bit.

"I know I could stay here, I'd love to. Hope you have no doubts about it," I said finally, but I stared at the floor. I just squeezed his hand tighter, as if I could have encouraged it myself. "But I don't think it would be a good decision. First of all, I have to finally summon up the courage and face what awaits me at home. I have to see if I can still consider everyone as a family or if they don't want to know me anymore. Only when I know it will I decide what to do next."

"Secondly? Is it about us?" he asked and sighed softly as I nodded my head in acknowledgment.

"You know there's nothing wrong with it, don't you?" I finally dared to turn to him and smile. "It's just love and a relationship with whom I thought so unreal that it takes time for me to realize that this is really happening. What may seem obvious to you in relationships between two people, for me is completely new. Let's face it, you already have some experience, I have none unless you count the memories Victor and David shared with me.

"If you say so." Tetsu laughed.

"It also seems to me that the space and time that I will gain from this will allow me to appreciate it, rather than having everything served straight away on a tray. After all, they say a relationship is constant work."

"A profound statement indeed," he concluded, pretending to stroke my chin like some old sage.

"And besides," I added after a long moment of reflection. "That I will do something that will alienate you, that I will make a mistake, that I will be a terrible partner ..."

He wouldn't let me finish, he just suddenly grabbed me and dragged me onto the bed, cuddling me. He asked for a moment more time to enjoy my presence before he told me that I was thinking too much. But then he stated that he would not do it.

"But admit it, I surprised you," he said instead. "I thought it would be a more difficult challenge."

"So be it," I laughed, pulling myself free from his arms.

"In order for it not to be, the list of my victories must be longer." He smiled ominously.

"I can give you all my life to try," I joked when I got up.

Kiba did not take the news of my departure very well, he whined and begged me not to leave him and it was pointless to explain that we would be seeing each other and I would definitely stay with them for longer. He threatened that he would not eat anything or touch any toys and that no one would take him for a walk until I lived with him. Tetsuya, with my help, negotiated certain conditions with him and the cancellation of the dog strike. However, Kiba wouldn't say goodbye to me when we were leaving. He took offense at me so badly that he decided not to speak to me.

Tetsuya drove me home. He gave me a moment because he saw that I was starting to get nervous and didn't get out of the car. Instead, I sat tense, clutching my bag tightly. I was beginning to regret my decision and even for a moment thought that Tetsu would take me back to his place.

"Will you make it?" He asked. He was trying to help me while urging me not to give up my fear.

"I have to," I replied a little hesitantly.

"Don't worry about Kiba, he'll be over it right now. Now focus on your real family," he said with a reassuring smile. "And remember that our doors are always open to you."

"I know and thank you." I nodded, trying to finally force myself to reach for the doorknob.

"Should I?"

"Not yet," Tetsu said and pulled me to him. He hugged him for a moment and kissed his forehead. It took me a while to shake myself from that amount of sudden tenderness. "Only now you can go. Do not worry, everything will be fine."

I nodded uncertainly and got out of the car. My boyfriend, as strange as it sounded in my head, watched me go, making sure I was safe. It gave me a sense of security, although it might have been better for him to drive away because then I would have known that I couldn't run back and ask him to take me away.

I kept walking, taking more steps, but I had the feeling that I wasn't any closer to the entrance. I knew Victor would be home, it was Saturday after all. And I doubted he would go on a bike since he wasn't in the mood lately. I had a moment's hesitation in front of the apartment door and wanted to back out. I grabbed the doorknob and counted to three. Only then did I uncertainly open the door, wondering what I would find. I stood in the hallway, still feeling like this was my seat, but not confident enough to walk any further.

I started shaking, heard a step, and squeezed my bag tighter. Victor came to see who was in. He had a coffee mug in his hand, and it shattered on the floor when he saw me. Suddenly all the air was gone from me when I saw him and felt all the care and love he felt for me. The bag also fell from my hands and we threw ourselves longingly into each other's arms. We held the hug for a while, shedding tears and apologizing to each other. I was so relieved that my brother did not reject me and I just wanted it to be as it used to be.

"You look terrible," I said as we pulled away from each other and I was able to finally look at him.

"You are not better," he said in reply. "You don't have your lenses right now? I packed a pair for you. Something happened?!"

"No," I shook my head. "Tetsu asked me not to wear them with him. If it turned out to be Alex, I'd wear them right away."

"Ah, this Tetsu," he muttered in a slightly offended tone and changed the subject. "I will clean up, okay?"

I let him get his act together a bit and walked over to the living room, where I sat on the couch. I looked around, it was a bit different here than I remembered. More of our photos have appeared here, additionally, Alex was in some of them. There were more decorative pillows on the couch, and fresh flowers stood on the coffee table. It felt cozier, but only on the surface, because looking at Victor I felt how depressed he was during that time and that the atmosphere here wasn't very pleasant at all.

"Why are you back?" the brother asked unexpectedly.

"I wanted to meet you," I replied. "And dad too."

"What about the rest of the family?"

"Hyacinth has made it clear to me that he doesn't want anything to do with me," I whispered, a bit disappointed.

"Hyacinth?" he was surprised. "Not only that you first chose someone stranger before me, but also my stupid brother ?!" Suddenly I felt rage and checked what he was thinking.

"It's not like that," I said calmly, I was used to his mood swings. "I would be grateful if you would give me a chance to explain everything from the beginning. He watched me suspiciously for a moment. "But I know that your curiosity also eats you from the inside."

"I hate it when you do that," he muttered and disappeared for a moment when he came back handed me a hairbrush, and sat down in front of me. "But you don't talk, you show," he told with a demand. "With details."

"Okay," I laughed and cringed a little.

Although after what I went through, I had already told Tetsu, I was afraid that recalling it would cause too much pain, but Victor deserved the whole truth. Although there was so much I could do to make it up to him that someone took his palm this time. I wasn't going to tell him about it, but he figured it out himself.

So I told him everything he wanted. Sometimes he turned in shock and was not afraid to comment loudly and brazenly about everything he saw. He did not hesitate to throw a text every now and then in the style that my family is full of crap and grandma was a higher league of freaks. After I had finished both talking and braiding his hair, he turned to me and apologized for pushing me. I asked him not to worry. All I wanted was for us to be like we used to be.

I knew it wasn't going to be easy, Victor still held a grudge against me choosing Tetsu over him and assuming in general that he might hate me. Whereas, he was the one who worried all the time that I had stopped considering him a brother because he had told my secret. Only after talking to him did I feel that the guilt left me for not really forgiving him. Now, all that mattered was getting my brother and friend back. I wanted to ask him to tell me about what happened in his life this time. I wanted to be up to date, I also discreetly planned to ask a bit about David and Marta and decide what to do with them.

But we heard someone coming in, Victor confirmed it was Alex, so I quickly headed to the bathroom to get my lenses back on. I left with a lighter heart, and I also missed my brother's boyfriend, but I felt the coldness in his eyes, and the smile was only a cover for Victor. Alex feigned fatigue to calm his lover's enthusiasm a bit. I got scared, all negative thoughts began to come back to me with redoubled strength. Why is my presence frustrating you, Alex?! Why are you angry?! Why are you jealous?! What happened?! Why do you suddenly hate me?! Why don't you tell me?! This young boy's mind seemed like an impregnable fortress, he knew how my power was. I had felt before that he might have a natural talent for defense, but after being with my family, I only realized that.

"Let's celebrate my return somehow," I said with mock glee. "Alex is tired. Victor, can you go get some ice cream?"

"What's so suddenly?" he asked surprised.

I asked him again, this time more forcefully and noiselessly, so he finally left, although he didn't understand what I was trying to achieve with that. I made sure he was gone, and only then did we face Alex.

"You're furious with me, but you're angry with yourself at the same time," I replied, walking over to him. Where is the nice and cute boy I remembered? "And you have the right to do so."

"Do you think so or are you just saying that? You were kidnapped in the end," he muttered, forcing me to look him straight in the eye as if to see how much I would go to use my powers.

"It does not matter." I shook my head. "If something happened that you can't stand me, tell me."

"It's about Victor," he said finally after a moment's thought. "I'm not used to sharing, and this is my boyfriend, and when I needed him the most, the only thing he thought about and worried about was you!" he shouted as he approached me. "And you're not even related!" he bothered me.

"You're right," I replied. "And I'm sorry I was in first place for a while when you should have," I added calmly.

He got even more pissed off because he expected me to scream too, what he was hoping for was not make him feel guilty. I noticed tears welling up in his eyes, so I walked over and hugged him. I let him cry, but I didn't accept the apology, because, in my opinion, he had nothing to apologize to me for. He finally told me what happened. One day, Victor was walking him to his house, and his mother was there, she had gone out, wanting to meet the friend he talked about so much at home. They did not notice her and they kissed goodbye. He didn't want to tell me about the details of the argument, but eventually, his parents kicked him out, and Victor didn't even notice that Alex had actually lived here.

"My brother is an idiot sometimes." I smiled at him. "When he comes back, talk to him and don't make excuses for him. Then he'll get some lessons from me. And remember we can be your new family."

"What about you?" he asked.

"Well, I have to see my parents yet," I said with an uncertain smile.