The best neet gets rehabilitated Into a regular normie.
I headed back to my place with maiko and lulu under the starry night. The clouds barely covered the sky and the night breeze had a sense of calmness to it.
“So did you enjoy yourself today?” Maiko asked
“I did actually enjoy myself today. I mean you weren’t easy to deal with but-
“IM NOT EASY TO DEAL WITH ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING MEE-“
As maiko yelled her lungs out at me I thought to myself how odd today was for me but also how amazing it was. I under no circumstances would've had this experience today if I’d never met this idiot, well maybe she wasn’t that much of an idiot after all since this seemed to work. All I really knew that for the first time in a long time I felt like life was fun to live again and just do regular things- .
“HEY ARE YOU LISTENING OR JUST DOZING OFF LIKE A DUMBASS?”
“SHUT UP YOU DEMON!!YOU INTERRUPTED MY THOUGHTS AND I WAS ACTUALLY THINKING SOMETHING GOOD!!!”
“Good? Yeah sure like you can think anything good in that tiny brain of yours. What were you thinking?”
“I was thinking that I should thank you”
“Yeah today was great, honestly I haven’t had this much fun in a while and I’m really glad I got to spend it with you. I had a lot of fun”
As I say this I notice maiko is caught off guard by this.I guess she wasn’t expecting me to be thankful. She was also blushing or maybe did I imagine it well it doesn’t matter I guess.
“Mhmp, maybe you’re half decent since I guess you did compliment me and say that”
“half decent, you really are a ass hahahahaha”
“HEY WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?”
“Nothing, (sniffle). You’re just funny that’s all?
“It doesn’t matter,but, We’re here”
“Oh wow we were talking so I didn’t even notice we got here”
To be honest neither did I till about a 30 seconds ago, I had lost track of time when I was with that idiot. For some reason I guess she is fun to be around, but I can’t let her know that. Knowing her, if she ever found out I don’t mind her company she’ll just start patronizing me for it.DAMN IT!! now I’m mad. she’s kinda annoying too.
“What’s with the face?”
“You shut up idiot”
“Hey by the way, why are you at my place? It’s late you should get home.”
“What are you talking about? I'm spending the night here.”
“Oh okay then I guess if- wait what did you say?”
“I said I’m spending the night with you”
Ah shit what am I supposed to do now!! No way no way no way I haven’t had a girl spend the night here before. Wait wait wait this isn’t some girl this is maiko. Knowing how she is, I should just be expecting a really irritating night.
“Yeah since you’re under rehabilitation, we’re going to clean up your place!! Well you’ll be doing most of the cleanup and also I have to make sure you’re up in the morning and aren’t sleeping all day like a neet!”
“Ohhh hahaha that’s what you meant”
“Yeah why else would I spend the night”
“I hate you maiko”
“Hey what? What did I do?
“Destroy dreams, that's what?”
“Huh? What are you Evan babbling on about? Let’s get inside. It’s getting late, plus we still have to clean up.”
“Clean up? You mean all night?”
“It won’t take us all night, just a few hours. I’ll allow sleeping in only for tomorrow”
Maiko lulu and I head up the wooden stairs to my apartment. I can hear the wood creaking every step of the way to be honest I’m kinda surprised the stairs haven’t collapsed yet.the building isn't very taken care of but all the residents are nice. We get to my door and as I open it the smell of neet comes out and this is the kind of smell that is very distinct and those who know this smell know exactly what I’m talking about.
“Yeah we definitely gotta get this place cleaned up. It smells like depression here. Also have you ever heard the phrase declutter your life , declutter your mind ? You can’t expect to have a clean and clear head living in filth.”
She has a point that there's no way I could improve if I didn’t fix my living space.A home is supposed to be a safe space and I should probably take care of my own home.
“I guess I can’t argue with you on this one”
“Great so let’s get to it!”
Maiko lulu and I go into my apartment walking through the kitchen as we try to make a path through the collected Shonen jumps, garbage bags and empty beer cans.
It never dawned on me how dirty this place was. I guess when I fell into a rut, before I knew it that rut became rock bottom and I lost sight of everything the only thing I made sure was to take care of lulu because he all I have and I’m all he has, other than that I just turned a blind eye to everything, no that’s not it I knew what was happening I just was too weak to fix it. I wasn’t strong enough to leave this room on my own. When you become a neet time feels like it’s on fast forward and before you know it days become months and months become years, but regardless of how fast time went I still felt frozen in time.leaving your room becomes more and more difficult till that door feels like it weighs a ton and you can’t open it anymore on your own..
“Hey this is a lot, of garbage when was the last time you cleaned 450 b.c?”
“No last time was the Meiji era”
“Very funny. I know you’ve never cleaned this fucking dirty ass place but don’t worry I’m here to help you and so is lulu”
“HEYY I HAVE CLEANED BEFORE!!”
“Sure ,sure , Okay do you have cleaning supplies?”
“They should be in the kitchen on the bottom cabinet”
Maiko heads to look for the cleaning supplies while me and lulu look through the garbage through my place to see if there’s anything of value.
“You find anything lulu?”
lulu picks up a photo album and he brings it back to me. It looks like a photo album from when I was in highschool. I hate looking at things like that. It brings back bad memories. It's probably why it was buried under all of that garbage.
“Thanks Lulu I appreciate it. I’ll make sure to keep this somewhere safe even though I hate it. I guess I can’t erase my past like I thought I could huh?”
“Hey what’s that?”
The last thing I need right now is maiko putting her nose where it doesn’t belong, or seeing embarrassing pictures of me.I try to hide it,but maiko was standing right over me and looking at the album and there’s no hiding it now. She snatched the album from my hand without permission and started looking through it.
“It looks like a photo album from when you were in middle school, you seem happy here in these photos”
“ Give that back!!!”
I try to snatch the album back from her hands but she’s too fast for me.
“Relax, who cares if I look through your old pictures!”
“I do, that’s private idiot give it back”
“You were in the art club?”
“HEYY!!! Give me that”
I try to get back the album from maiko but she decides to lead me on a chase through this garbage filled apartment with barely any room to move while she’s teasing me.
“You can draw ohhh how artistic hahaha!! Awww you’re blushing”
“ GIVE IT NOW!!”
“I don’t understand why you look happy here. you have friends or had what happened? What went wrong?”
“I-I-I don’t really want to talk about that right now,it’s none of your business”
“Yes it is but, it’s okay I understand! If you ever want to talk about it I’m all ears and I’ll listen to you”
“I’ll think about it I guess”
“Here have your album back idiot and while you’re thinking about it put on these gloves and start picking up garbage bags and putting them out while I pick up around the floor and try to clean this neet sty”
I start to pick up the back garbage bags one by one to what seems like a 100 full bags in my apartment and I also realize that this will definitely be a pain in the ass for the next few hours. As I kept taking the bags outside the stench from my home started to faint and the space that started to open up surprised me. I didn’t remember my home being this big before but I guess when you live In Clutter you tend to not see those things.
“Hey there’s a lot of garbage here!”
“A lot of that stuff isn’t garbage maiko! it’s my things some of them are actually important”
“Well which ones are important and which ones are we throwing away? If it gets to out of hand and you start giving me the hoarder vibes then I’ll have to step in”
“Just throw everything out that’s not essential and some other things you can keep like my books etc…”
I need to keep cleaning and getting better. If I don’t get it together now it’ll become too late for me. I need to make a change before it’s too late. also I’m getting pretty tired of the smell here. Also if things go as planned;Then maybe just maybe I can get a girlfriend but that’s probably next to impossible right about now so I need to do this. I have to touch breast before I die I’m too old. I will have a girlfriend and touch her breast. It’s my duty as a degenerate neet and as a tribute to all the harem anime I’ve watched. Maybe just maybe this might be the answer to my problems.
The hours pass by and before I know it and the room is clean all the garbage bags are gone, there’s actually space to move around. Our hard work paid off.
The garbage was overcrowding a lot of the room and furniture and my couch was back. I had forgotten what it was like to sit on it. The apartment looked the same as when I first got it. It's amazing how fast time goes by when your life is falling apart. I’ve been living here for 3 years now.
“Kazuharu-kun Look at the time you idiot it’s 2 in the morning we’ve been at this for a while”
“Yeah we have but At Least we got it done Maiko-Chan”
“That’s true, today was a long day. we should get some rest. Since I’m sleeping here you’re sleeping on the couch okay. And you need to stay away from me at all times.”
“You can’t tell me where to sleep in my own home who so you think you are”
“WHAT?!!Who cares!!, there’s no way in fucking hell you’re gonna tell me where to sleep in my own home-“
As I try to get comfy on the couch after surrendering my bed along with my dignity. I start to realize It’s not so bad the couch is grey with very fluffy cushions. I remember I got this couch specifically because it was comfortable, since I used to sit here and watch anime or read manga or play video games while spending time with lulu.
Maiko is on the bed behind me since my room is 1ldk. She’s turned over asleep with the blankets on her. It’s weird for a devil she kinda went to sleep fast and sleeps very quietly, you’d think she would snore like a 40 year old truck driver but she’s surprisingly easy to spend the night with.
Mhm spend the night with,spend the night with,Wait AHHHH!!! I FORGOT!! There's a human girl spending the night in my apartment sleeping on my bed. Okay relax Kazuharu! You've seen this happen all over manga and anime. So by those terms nothing will really happen other than I might accidentally feel one boob,but, I should be safe for now”
“Hey Kazuharu-kun are you awake”
THIS GIRL IS AWAKE SHIT!!.. This isn’t the situation that usually happens. What's going on I was tricked, lied to and bamboozled and now she’s asking if I'm up. Wait up for what?
“Yeah I am. why? You Can’t sleep”
“ If I’m asking if you’re awake then I obviously can’t sleep”
“So did you ask if I’m awake just to be rude to me? Goodnight.”
“No wait, don’t go to bed I need to ask you something”
“You have had girlfriends in the past right?
“Yeah I have in the past and if you’re wondering if I’ve had my first kiss then yeah I have and I’m not a virgin either”
“Really that’s kinda surprising”
“Hey that’s rude!!.
“Shut up Kazu”
“Kazu? When did you decide to pick out that name for me? Do you think it’s clever or something?”
“Just now and no I just think it’s cute”
What exactly does she mean by that is that her way of teasing me. What exactly is she trying to do?
“Cute? I don’t get you”
“I know you don’t”
“What maiko-Chan? You’re not making any sense.Why did you all of a sudden ask me if I have a girlfriend?”
“Because I wanted to know if you were experienced or not”
There’s no way she said that I must’ve heard something.
“I wanted to see for myself how experienced you were ”
No-no-no this can’t be real, it has to be some kind of joke.she said that and she’s just laying in my bed too. I mean, would I really do this if she offered?Come on Kazuharu, what are you thinking? Do you really think she's into you like that? All she sees you is as a toy her play thing for the moment, don't let her fool you. This is just another one of her tricks or something don’t forget this is maiko-Chan we’re dealing with.
I look over to see what lulu is doing at a time like this when I would need his help the most and he’s sleeping in his bed snoozing away.
“Kazu, why does your dog snore like that?”
“He snores loud I don’t know why and What do you mean by that”
I didn’t know why I was so nervous. It’s not like I’m a virgin could I like- NO NO NO I WON'T EVEN FINISH THAT SENTENCE.
“Well the truth is kazuharu-kun you need to get prepared”
“Pre-pre-pared for what-what?”
“For some action”
WHAAAAT I can’t believe this is happening right now I can’t believe it. I need to decide how I’m going to handle this next and I know the answer.
“I know don’t worry I am too, it was about time this happened”
I get up from the couch and head towards maiko to lay in bed with her.I don’t think she notices me because she’s turned the other way. I’m going to tap her on the shoulder and ask her if she wants to cuddle before we get into the action but I get stopped by some words that set me back to reality.
“That’s great to hear kazu because after we get your friend we’re going to get you a girlfriend and I already set up a few dates for you with some single girls I know”
Shit, I was so close.So close to what they call the heavens.
“Oh, that's great maiko-Chan yeah.”
She could’ve just fucking that that AHHHH I can’t believe I thought she actually wanted to have sex with me. I really need to stop overthinking things so much although she did make it look like that’s what she was asking. I start to Quietly head back to the couch.
“Hey kazu, is that couch uncomfortable?”
“A bit why?”
“You can sleep on the bed with me as long as you turn the other way. if you try anything I’ll murder you and then after I die murder you in the afterlife”
“I don’t think you can murder someone twice, but if it’s alright with you I’ll take your offer since my back does hurt”
What I said was bullshit my back doesn’t hurt but I decide to join her in bed because I’m not going to pass up the opportunity to join a beautiful woman in bed even if she is a devil and this time I’m prepared I realize she’s just being nice to me because I’m sleeping on the couch and I’m not worried I’m not going to try anything ever with that clever devil and I sure as hell know she won’t with me.
I head to the bed and lay beside her. As soon as I’m next to her I can smell the vanilla scented smell of her shampoo.
Suddenly maiko turned around and that was something I wasn’t prepared for.
“Maiko, what are you doing? Why did you turn around?”
“I wanted to see how you would react”
I look at her beautiful brunette hair and her Lucius pink lips. Her face is beautiful and her hazel eyes have this sense of mystery about them that can easily draw anyone in. I mean she is a devil. One of her boobs lay on top of the other and it reminds me how big her breasts are and how beautiful her body is.
“Hey,Kazu, why is your nose bleeding?”
“I accidentally ran into the wall earlier and Why would you want that I don’t understand you?”
“You’re a idiot probably the biggest I’ve met”
Maiko starts leaning in towards me. I can’t believe this is happening right now, wait what is even happening I don’t understand I’m paranoid what’s going on there’s no way she’s going to try and kiss me. She looks really beautiful. I hadn't noticed this much before but then again I’ve never been this up close. Why am I so nervous.
“You’re getting extremely close? It’s making me is everything okay”
“Yeah I just wanted to see how you would react neet. Hahahaha it’s halarious too see you get so nervous and worked up idiot are you sure you’re not a virgin. You actually thought I was going to Kiss you. Idiot,idiot,idiot but anyways goodnight now”
Without any explanation and just leaving me in a daze she quickly turns around and goes to bed. I mean who does that? She just basically gave me a mini heart attack just to do that.
-Unknown to kazuharu, maiko turned around because she was trying to hide her blushing. As she thought to herself
“Shit why am I blushing like this am I no, no, no, no ,no there’s no way in hell I’m attracted to that idiot “
I’m sure whatever she has planned for tomorrow will be way more draining and anxiety inducing
I wake up to the beautiful sounds of birds before reality immediately falls on me and I see maiko-Chan laying on top of me. WHAT!! WHAT!!WHAT!! I SEE M-m-maiko on top of me hugging me. What should I do? I'm panicking.
Hey her boobs are almost out maybe I can get a sneak peak-
“Uh hey what are-WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON ME AHHHH”
She punches me right off the bed and I’m face down on the floor. Today is going to be a very very stressful day.
“Why did you hit me? I wasn’t even on you you were on -“
I get punched again before I can finish
“Okay enough horsing around kazu!! We have to get up today we’re getting you your first friend.
“How exactly do you plan on doing this again? Because please tell me you don’t plan on me going up to random people and asking them to be my friend”
“NO. That's totally not at all what I was planning. I definitely have something.”
“Why does it sound like that is what it was and now you’re just making stuff up”
“Okay we have a busy day today!! we’re going to go make some friends in your natural habitat you neet muscle head freak”
“Hey don’t just ignore what I said and you don’t mean”
“Yes I do, we’re going to go make you some gym buddies”
“Oh hey lulu when did you wake up Did you hear what she wants me doing”
“You already lift weights so there’s already a mutual interest. And you’re older when you’re a bit older it’s harder to make friends”
“See Lulu agrees!!. He barked twice”
“He only barked because he’s hungry.”
I head over and start pouring lulu's food in his bowl while thinking about Maiko’s plan.
“Maiko, are you sure this is such a good idea?”
“What do you mean ?”
“The gym is the only place I have and you already ruined it once for me. I don’t want someone else to ruin it too. Then I’ll end up not going anymore”
“Don’t worry you’re not alone like last time remember I got your back I am technically your first friend after all”
“You know I’ve had friends before-
“I said I’m the first now shut up”
“I guess if you say you’ll have my back I have no reason to not trust you, so how exactly am I going to make a friend there?”
“You’re going to wear one of your favorite anime shirts and we’ll wait for someone to start a conversation. I noticed it’s best when you make friends with mutual interest and another otaku won’t be able to resist the urge to say something about your shirt”
“Okay wonderful idea genius, but what are we going to do if no one approaches me?
“Then plan b is we go to find someone with an anime shirt and you approach them.”
“Okay what if no one has a anime shirt”
“In that case we go back and redo the plan. Stop asking so many questions idiot we’ll figure it out when it happens”
“Fine, what time should we head there?”
“Well it’s 11am and it’s a Saturday so we can go at around 12pm. The gym is a little busier around those times on Saturday because of the specials the supplement shop next door has every weekend.”
“Alright I guess I’ll start getting ready. I’ll make us some fruit before we go that way we don’t workout on a empty stomach and we also should eat light before we exercise”
“That sounds good, don't poison it. I’m going to run to my place and get some gym clothes.”
Maiko leaves and I start to get dressed and put on my grey joggers and a shirt of my favorite anime; one piece. Actually on that note here's a Fun fact: lulu’s name is actually Luffy. He's named after the main character but we would also call him lulu as a pet name.
“Mhm come to think of it, where does maiko live lulu?
“She said she was going to get changed and we only have an hour so she must not be that far.”
I hear a knock on my door
“Kazu open up, I'm ready!!”
I open up the door in confusion. How did she get here that fast I don’t understand”
“What that too fast, how did you do that? Did you have those under your clothes or something? hahaha”
“What no idiot . You should really pay attention kazuharu! You don’t even know who your next door neighbor is?”
“Wait-wait-wait. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!!! Y-Y-YOU LIVE NEXT DOOR!!???