Chapter 8:

Step 6: Long for HIS presence

How to be Dead


“Guys,” Daera called out taking our attention. But before she started ranting I decided to butt in. I know she wouldn’t hear me, but I was hopeful that at least my feelings would somehow reach and touch her.
“Dae, these two are planning something that’s not good for the both of them,” I told her, as I point towards Eros and Reiss who were sporting some sheepish grins.
I know she didn’t hear me but I was glad she noticed the meaning of the smiles on Eros and Reiss’s lips. She checked every stand around the area and saw the juice stand at the corner, making her eyes squint before she turning around to glare at them. “Would you please tell me you’re awesome and fantabulous plan?”
“Play with Eris!” Reiss answered loud enough for the people around to hear.
I averted my eyes to Daera and immediately saw something flash in her eyes. Is that pain? Pity? Tell me! I turned around and saw the same expression in Eros’ eyes as a solemn smile appeared on his lips, before averting his attention to the ground as if something interesting had appeared on it.
Pain, all I can see is pain. I felt my chest tighten. I was suffocating, please stop. Please just stop.

It’s not every day you spill a dark past to someone whom you just met, maybe that’s the reason why I immediately got used to Reiss’ presence. He’s got this whole ‘you-can-trust-me-aura’ going ‘round him. Despite that, I still have my wall around me every time he’s around.
“Three minutes,” I uttered the moment I saw the wall clock hanging on the door frame leading towards the stairs.
I arrived inside our classroom panting; racing with time is a good cardio if you ask me. Instinctively, I checked where the four: Eros, Daera, Reiss and Clarck, are. I they’re usually huddled at one side of the room playing with their phones.
‘Dae,’ I called out inside my brain as I search for her. She’s in her seat, as well as the rest with their phones out. I saw the Reiss’ pocket router on Eros’ table, but where is Reiss?
I swallowed the worry and doubt that rose on my chest as I sat, placing my things on the usual empty chair beside me. I tried glancing around making it look normal but the truth is, I’m searching for him. I want to be sure that he’s okay that he’s around; that he’s I don’t know. I just want something to assure me, to calm me down, to satisfy my extreme need to keep things the way they are.
I waited for his name to be called out for the class attendance. Our instructor in always does that every morning: diligently marking each class card absent or tardy, while the other instructors would just ask who’s not around and then mark their class card. It wasn’t much of a long wait, he’s last name starts with ‘A’ after all, while I would usually be the last one called, my last name’s Wate so, yeah.
After three names, “Anderson, Reiss”
“Here,” a lazy reply echoed through my ears making me smile. At least I know he’s around.
Every Tuesday, and Thursday we usually have an hour break, wherein we usually spend in the library, no I’m just toying with you, we spend it in the cafeteria. On our walk towards the cafeteria I can’t help but notice the emptiness that emanates in our team.
“Guys, is it me or are we missing one member?” I asked out of the blue, not minding if the boys notice my sudden concern for Reiss.
“Nope,” Daera immediately answered. “It’s not you, Reiss is not around.”
“Oh,” I answered, a bit flustered and downhearted.
“Eros, Clarck, where is he anyway?”
“He said that he’ll be hanging out with old acquaintances for a while,” Eros answered, in which Clarck confirmed with a nod.
‘What’s gotten with him, suddenly avoiding us?’ I asked myself irritated.
Above all, why am I even bothering to know all these things? Gosh, he has freewill he can do whatever he wants without asking the group’s permission. You’re just hungry Eris, you’re just hungry, and that’s why you’re having all these thoughts.
Oh fudge! Who am I kidding?
That very night I kept on checking my phone for any incoming messages. I don’t care if it’s a spam or something, but every time my phone vibrates, I would take a pause from solving the problem I’m currently working on from my assignment Mensuration due next week, but I got nothing.
I grab my phone and started typing a message set to be sent at Daera’s number. ‘I want to text him but I know he’s busy’
‘Who?’ Daera replied immediately.
‘Reiss,’ I replied shortly.
Before I close my eyes, I heard my phone vibrate on my nightstand. I picked it up and check the Alerts. One from Dae, and one from… Reiss.
I smiled.