STEP 7: Fall for the Family

“Now that you’re done scolding us, what’s the departure time?” Reiss asked calmly despite the whole reprimanding thing.
“Yeah!” she exclaimed, remembering her supposed to be rant a while back. “Guys you better go ahead, according to the dispatcher the bus will be here by 10 and most probably it will leave by 10:15 or something.”
‘No! Not yet! Please don’t leave,’ I screamed inside my head as I let a part of my worries pass through my façade.
“No, it’s okay,” Reiss immediately responded making my chest lighter. “My parents won’t mind.”
Everyone’s head suddenly whipped as we simultaneously stared at Eros, silently asking. He sighed, before responding with a cheeky smile. “I already told my sister that I’d be coming home late.”
I stood beside Eros and leaned my head on his shoulder quite forcing myself to bend due to height discrepancies. I’m taller by the way. And then I whispered to him slowly, “I’m glad you’re staying, I thought I’ll be left again.”
“I’ll stay,” he uttered reassuringly. I have no idea how my head is staying on his shoulder or how he managed to tell me those words. I’m quite sure he doesn’t possess an extra sense to be able to hear the words that escaped my lips.
The moment I turned, I was met by the image of Reiss and Daera looking at us? It shouldn’t be us right? Of course it’s not an ‘us’, they can’t see me. And then it came to me, I looked up and stared Eros’ chiseled jaw, he must be talking with Daera.
I watched the wall clock hanging on the dispatcher’s office as time ticks bye. I sighed, can I just stop time and enjoy my friend’s company even just for a while. I can’t, no one can stop it, because if I was blessed with the gift, I’ll stop right on the moment when life was sucked out of me.
I felt Eros shift uncomfortably as he glanced at me, or maybe at his shoulders. Well, if I’m in his position I’d be crept out, who wouldn’t? If I were to feel something heavy on my shoulders knowing for a fact that nothing is there, I’d definitely freak out. But he didn’t, he smiled at me (or at his shoulders) and then made eye contact with Daera.
“I should be leaving now,” he announced defeated. I stared at his eyes and noticed the glint of sadness at the same time naughtiness in them. I stepped back and let Daera embrace him for a while before my ghostly body, tackled Eros. I’m sure it felt weird suddenly getting cold or something, but I don’t care I want to hug him, like seriously I even want to knock the air out of his chest. I hugged him tighter and told him the same mantra over and over despite knowing that he doesn’t hear me.
I stood there, watching Eros’ retreating figure as I myself wondered, why can’t I just fall in love with Eros and not with someone whom I know will never recognize my feelings.
I checked my phone for the nth time in five minutes, keying in the password to my phone all the time to be sure. How can the feeling of him not texting me or anything can get me so irritated? I growled lowly before grabbing my phone from my study table and grumpily throwing it at my bed.
Angrily I grabbed my laptop to post a status, I’ve been posting a lot lately and I’m sure anyone can tell the reason why? I’m mad, I’m so mad at him for not even taking time to send me a message just to put me at ease.
I screamed through my pillow, mad at myself and my thoughts. Who am I to demand such, such, such atrocity? I’m not his girlfriend or something, I’m just his friend so why am I acting this way? Yeah that’s it, I’m his friend – yeah, I’m his friend. I’m so worried and concern about him because I’m his friend, in our group that we call Family I’m his older sister (well, in reality I’m the youngest in the group), with these said I have all the right to be concerned.
I averted my attention to the ceiling of our room as if something interesting had suddenly sprouted on them, before face palming. Who am I fooling with this reasoning anyway?
I growled one more time, before deciding to grab my phone from the corner of my bed and hurriedly tapped on the screen, keying in Reiss number.
‘Hey,’ I immediately typed not knowing what to say, and deleted it immediately.
‘You busy?’ who in the right state of mind would ask if someone is busy? Of course he is, you just heard from Daera that he works right?
I’m going crazy with all these talking to myself gig, am I even sure that I’m talking to myself and not some entity? I growled again, this time loud enough that one of my roommates complained.
Why am I so affected anyway? He’s not texting me, what’s the deal? Maybe he ran out of load or something? No signal and everything. But why am I so affected? Decided, I deleted Reiss as the recipient of my message and switched it with Daera’s contact number.
‘Dae, I’ve got something to tell you tomorrow. Be at our classroom at 7:30 sharp I don’t want the boys to know.’ And then I sent it.
“Eris you have huge bags under your eyes,” Daera pointed out the moment we met at the place I stated.
I raised one of my brows before taking my glasses from my bag and placing them at the crook of my nose. “Better?”
She studied my appearance once more, as a satisfied smile graced her lips. “Absolutely.”
You see, despite finding a resolution my deciding to tell Daera my current situation, I still didn’t get much sleep. Well, I slept, my eyes were close and everything but my mind is so damn awake and it keeps on screaming things about Reiss. I’m tired, and exhausted physically yet during the moments that I should be resting my mind keeps on – it’s infuriating.
“Hey, what are you going to tell me anyway?” Daera asked breaking my reverie.
“About that,” I started trailing it off a bit. “Well, you know my crush on ‘him’ right?”
“Yeah?” she answered a bit unsure of where will our talks proceed.
“Is it normal for me to feel this way?” I asked while staring right through her eyes intently.
“What do you feel?” she asked in return slightly bothered with my stare.
“Just thinking about him makes my heartbeat go nuts,” I pointed out, before grabbing her innocent hand and placing it on my chest for her to feel how my heart thunders on its cage. “I’ve been constantly longing for him. Not him actually, just his presence.”
I turned around and headed towards the parking lot beside our building, which is empty at the moment. “Didn’t you notice how I usually tell you that I want text him? Or he’s not texting lately. I’m going nuts every night waiting for a text message from him for hours, checking my phone twice every minute.”
I raked my fingers through my hair, angrily. Not at others but at myself. “I was, I am on the brink of insanity. I could feel it trying to suck me in like a black hole of madness. The pull is so strong that I can’t find my strength to fight.”
I pulled on my hair as thoughts came crashing on my poor mind. “I don’t even know if I want to fight. Everything seems so fast, I don’t know if this is cause by shock or something but I’m certain there’s something within me, trying to make its way out, fighting to take control. But what would happen if I let go?”
By the end of rant I notice tears cascading down my cheeks that I harshly wiped with the back of my hand to calm myself down. The silence and peace of my mind caused by my outburst was suddenly interrupted by the squeals and other noises created by Daera who’s currently jumping up and down.
“Dae” I called, crept out with what she’s doing but she didn’t respond. “Dae,” I tried again still calm, and for the second time my effort was futile and I’m getting impatient. I want to hear what she’s about to say, and I want to hear them now.
“Daera Kassandra Gibson Ryans!” I screamed.
“What?!” she snapped. “Can’t you see I’m celebrating?”
“Celebrating what?” I asked curiously.
“My little sister finally fell in love.”