Chapter 23:

Chapter 9. Stay Away Part II. (III)

The Spirit In Me


Calmed down, she took a long breath.

"That night, I lost everything. I was left completely alone. When I got here, I felt what loneliness was. What it's like to be in a place where you don't know anyone, when you don't have even one person by your side who is aware of your existence. I felt empty inside, that a part of me died that night. I knew I had to move on, but it's hard. Especially when it's hard to accept what happened.

After the event, my days passed in dullness. Everything was lifeless. All this time, I was acting robotic. Acting but doesn't digest half of what I did.

But, when I got here, suddenly, outside the classroom, I felt a different feeling. A feeling that focused me. A feeling which made me suddenly, even for a brief moment, leave this place.

That was when I first looked at you. At that moment, a feeling passed through me that I had never felt before. Not in such intensity. A feeling I almost forgot.

A good, warm, comforting feeling…." she said as she looked into his eyes. "Maybe it's the feeling of two souls, who found each other exactly when they needed to. At the right moment. At the right time." she thought out loud. "I might also be exaggerating...” Lin added critically embarrassed, “But… even though I listened to everything they said, my past taught me to go with my feelings.

I had a good time with you. It reminded me how it feels to have someone by your side.” she said with a shy smile.

"Is it okay if I ask a question?" Lin asked as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Of course..." Loy replied.

"I know it's probably a sensitive topic, so you don't have to answer if you don't want to..." she prepared the ground in advance.

"I'm ready." Loy replied decisively.

"The question came to my mind after what they said about you… about always being alone. It made me think... what about your family?" Lin asked.

"My family…?" Loy thought out loud, bringing up in his memory his father, mother, and little sister Mira. "Our relationship isn't great to say the least." he said in a calm tone. Lin was surprised.

"My dad is out of the house most of the day. We barely see each other. By choice. A few things happened between us, and we drifted apart. To be honest, I don't think I've looked him in the eye in over a year. Today, I'm sure more than ever. He doesn't care about me. He has no feelings for me and not a shred of emotion. My mom doesn't work. During the day she's usually at home or hanging out in Gillua. Once a week she goes for shopping, mostly for food. Her life is really simple. She mostly reads the newspapers and does most of the household chores. Basically, she's a social type of person but she has no friends at all. Based on her own choice of course. She defines my little sister Mira as her best friend. Today, she talks with me occasionally. A sentence here and there... not much. When I was a child, she was around me all the time. To tell the truth, I have many good memories from her. Out of all my family, I think my mom is the one who cares about me the most. Even today. Even if we are not in touch. I know it's hard for her. However, she does try every now and then, and I appreciate that.” Loy said with reconciled eyes.

"And I also have a little sister as you know, Mira. When we were little we were quite close...we used to play together occasionally. A brother and sister bond.

But, when the other kids started driven away from me, they also started to pester her because of the relationship she had with me. Therefore, to protect herself, she chose to reject me and join them. So that her friends won't reject her.” Loy said as he looked to the horizon. Lin looked at him with pitying eyes.

"But I've changed. I'm no longer who I was when I was a child. But it doesn't matter to them. It doesn't matter to them what I say. It doesn't matter to them what I do. They don't forget, and they don't forgive. And unfortunately, it's not just them." sighed Loy in a heavy, desperate voice.

"I believe you that you have changed." Lin replied immediately with confidence.

He was astonished. This was the first time in a long time that he felt that in a certain place, he and what he said was trusted.

Vforest
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