Chapter Thirteen

IVY

The blast pushes everyone and everything back, but my senses don't dull like in the warehouse with Ashe. I'm instantly back on my feet and rush into the building. "Ivy!" I hear Shadow shouting but ignore his call. "No!" My legs are already running toward the building engulfed in the scorching fire. The guard near the front entrance is ultimately passed out, but I don't check to see if he is breathing. The doors into the building busted open when the explosion went off, making it easy for me to enter. Debris falls from the ceiling, the structure on the brink of collapsing, and another guard I can see poking her bloody head from the stairs above. The staircase itself is barely intact, and the entire second floor looks slanted and ready to allow gravity to work. Everything is falling apart. I'm narrowly dodging the spots of fire, which envelop most of my surroundings, and I try to make my way up to my apartment. My family can't be– they just can't be dead. But I don't get to find out. As I grab the burning railing, it creates a domino effect, causing the entire staircase to collapse and bring the rest of the structure to fall. Darkness greets me like an old friend with a grudge.

***

"-ca… Erica!" I bolt up in my bed, my brown eyes scanning the room. Room? Light beige walls, twin size bed, a desk full of crafts and pictures, a small window, and an empty fish tank filled with toys. I look at my hands, clutching the purple comforter like it's the only stable thing left in the world, while sweat builds on my forehead. Mr. Panda sits next to me, his toy eyes staring into my soul. Mr. Panda? I… I haven't seen him since when? "Erica, are you okay, sweetie? You look like you were having a nightmare." A comforting hand brushes my hair out of my face– warm and familiar.

"Mom?" My voice sounds younger somehow, and my dry throat makes it hard for any sound to come out.

"Yes, what is it?" Her hair shines in the light coming through my window, and her green eyes lock onto mine.

"...Mom…!" I hug her intensely, feeling so safe and secure in her arms. "I had a terrible dream. Everyone… you were dead, and then we became homeless, and I… I m-murdered people to keep everyone else alive, but it didn't matter because they all ended up dying anyway. It was all my fault! I couldn't keep everyone together. I'm so sorry," I sob into her arms. She just holds me and shushes me, trying to calm me down. I cling tightly to her sweater like if I let go, I'll lose any trace of her existing. But why am I so scared of losing her? It's not like the dream is real– it's a dream. But it was enough to make me cry in my Mom's arms at 14 years old.

"Erica, it's gonna be okay, okay? Why don't you come eat breakfast with everyone." Everyone? Why does that feel impossible?

"Yes!" I exclaim, excited to see that my family is alive and that the dream is indeed a dream.

My Mom gently pulls herself away from our hug, our hands now clutching each other's forearms. "Let's go then." She kisses me softly on my forehead and gets up from the mattress, the bed creaking from the weight shifting. I lift the covers and follow her footsteps out my bedroom door and toward the kitchen. The apartment is just how it should be, with Angela and Chloe's toys all over the place. The hall we currently walk down connects to mine and Luke's room, with a shared bathroom, and the gallery on the other side of the kitchen and living area has the twin's room and my parent's master suite. I stumble over one of the toys as we make it into the kitchen– my whole family is seated at the table, ready to eat and begin their day. My Mom's dirty blonde hair swishes with her movements as she starts making breakfast for everyone.

"Mi Amor, let me help," Dad speaks from his chair, placing his tablet down as he reads the news.

"Nope. Every time you get involved, the food always ends up burnt somehow." My Mom laughs as she rolls her green eyes behind the kitchen counter.

I sit across from my dad, basking in their lighthearted conversation. Luke sits beside dad, playing with an old dinosaur toy, his small figure barely tall enough to sit in a regular chair. Angela and Chloe sit beside each other in identical baby high chairs, and if it weren't for their different hair and eye color, the only way you could tell them apart would be their attitudes. Even at this young, Chloe is much more energetic, and Angela is following her younger sister's lead. Somehow, I can clearly see what they'll look like in the next few years.

"Mija, what's wrong? It took you a while to get out of bed this morning; we were all worried about you." My dad asks, concerned for my well-being. Everyone looks at me, even the twins.

"I… I had an awful dream. Terrible. Dad, Mom was gone–"

“Erica… mom is gone…” Luke butts in, his younger voice so innocent and slight, and he stops playing with his dinosaur.

"Huh?" I turn around to look where Mom should be standing. But she's no longer there. "But she–" I turn my attention back to the table to see everyone else staring at me intently; all eyes are on me to do something, to say something. "But she was just…" My eyes begin to water, and I can't control them. Tears start pouring down, absolutely terrified that my dream is coming to reality. I can't finish the sentence, and the number of tears makes the room too blurry for me to make out anything. When I blink the tears away, the place changes suddenly from the old apartment to the one in the quadplex. We sit at a much sadder-looking table, and everyone is older.

"We're still getting the paletas, right?" Angela asks, her green eyes, just like Mom's, staring into my soul.

"Sis! I can't wait to have a sleepover with everyone in the new house!" With excitement behind her wide smile, Chloe exclaims, the gap between her front teeth creating her quirky whistle.

"You're gonna hold up your promise, right?" Luke questions, his melancholy hazel eyes looking expectantly into my brown ones.

"Mija, I love you so much," Dad states, giving me his best smile, the one where his face scrunches up just enough to make it look like he's winking.

Just as suddenly as we changed locations, flames behind my family begin to form, dancing around the table. Everyone stays seated as if nothing is happening, and I try to move but find myself frozen in place. The fire wraps its way around, one chair after another, engulfing my family with them. "No… no, no, NO!" I yell out, powerless to stop anything else from happening, an invisible force holding me back. I scream into the flaming void, tears waterfalling onto my lap as my hands desperately clutch the seat of the chair. My fingers turn pale from my intense grip, my nails scratching into the wooden stool. Emptiness consumes me.

***

My eyes shoot open, waking up to a white ceiling and gentle sunlight– very different from wherever I just was. A dream? A nightmare is more like it. I don't move, allowing my other senses to understand the room for me. I feel the thin cotton sheets and half-filled pillow I lay upon and smell the clinical atmosphere intrude my nostrils. I hear a heart monitor beep rhythmically in line with my own heartbeat, so I must be linked to it. I taste dryness, and the rough surface of my dehydrated tongue wriggles around, trying to revive itself. Did everything… actually happen? I feel something wet spill down my face, and my hand shakily reaches up, attempting to wipe away the fluid. But it doesn't go away, being replaced instantly by new, flowing tears. I cover my face with my arms as I silently sob to myself. What's the point of anything anymore? Maybe they're still–

"Um… Ivy?" Raven's voice echoes in my head. Of all people, why does it have to be her voice? I don't respond as I continue to cry into my arms as quietly as possible. "Ivy… I'm–" Don't say it. Don't say it, or else it's all true. Please, don't say it. "I'm sorry." No. No no no no no no no. It can't be. They can't be. This shouldn't have happened. This was never supposed to happen. Silence fills the air following that statement. I've never heard Raven sound so remorseful in her entire career here; she's always saying something wrong or trying to fill a silence that doesn't need to be filled. "I'll go inform everyone you're awake–"

"Not yet." I manage to speak, barely keeping my voice level. "Can I have just 10 minutes to myself?" I plead. I don't want to see anyone else yet; I want time to process everything independently. But I also want to know all the details of what occurred– I need to know for sure that this isn't some terrible joke. "Please." My lower lip trembles as I try to keep it together, still placing my arms over my eyes. I don't want to see how Raven looks at me with pity in her dark blue eyes.

"...sure." I hear the sound of her clothes ruffling against a chair's surface and her shoes making contact with the tiled floor. Raven leaves the room without saying another word to me.

How could this have happened? We were supposed to move into a new home for all of us to live a better life. And now they're gone? I won't know for sure until I get all the facts. I feel like I can't trust anyone right now, and the doubts I had earlier at the safe house all come flooding back. Is this Secretary's doing? Her past come to haunt her? Or a member in the team selling me out for their own benefit? A previous gang wanting revenge? John Garner's personnel wanting to avenge him? Does it have to do with the warehouse? I know it involves that woman from… wait. What time is it? What day is it? I prop myself up on my elbows, trying to get a better look around, but the room is pretty empty aside from a cabinet next to me, along with my heart monitor, the door to a bathroom across from me, and the chair opposite the heart monitor. A stinging pain throbs the back of my head, forcing me to lie back down on my side.

My phone… Where's my phone? As I look around frantically, searching for the device to help me find answers, a knock resounds at the door. Before I can answer, the entrance quietly opens, revealing Fox, Raven, and Ashe.

"Sorry, but we wanted to talk to you. About everything." Fox answers, her stoic nature unchanging.

"Where's my family?" I ask, ready for the response to come. I already know the answer– the way Raven spoke to me earlier is the biggest indicator. She's never that thoughtful of me and my emotions.

"Ivy…" Ashe begins but looks down at the floor in silence.

"Only two survivors were in the building during the explosion. A young woman from downstairs who's in critical condition, and a boy from the apartment across from yours. His mother was holding him, protecting him from most of the possible injuries he would have sustained." Fox reports.

"No, how do you know it's my family? Maybe they went out the back? I want to see their bodies; I won't believe it until I see the bodies." I breathe heavily in and out, my body shaking.

"... You're free to see the bodies; they're at the morgue downtown… but I don't think you'll recognize them beyond their general body type…" Raven slowly replies, her tone solemn. "They were… disfigured beyond recognition. They're going through a DNA process right now to make sure it's really them… but what other family of four–"

"Please, shut up, Raven." She backs off easily, and I know she's just trying to inform me, but… I don't want to think of their last moments like that. To imagine how mangled their bodies must look… "How long was I out for?"

Ashe finally manages to say something more than just my codename. "It's been a few hours, enough time for the sun to rise– It's the 15th." Only 7 days away from the girls' birthdays– A birthday they'll never celebrate.

I can't bring myself to look any of the three in the eyes, my own bitterness and questions consuming my brain. What if one of the three in front of me did this? But how would they know anything about me? Fox would know about my family but not my location, and it wouldn't be like Fox to do something like this. Shadow… he would know a lot more than anyone else on this team… unless Tech and Fog teamed up to dig up my information on the high-security system Secretary runs. But Secretary would notice if anyone hacked into the system. Secretary… she could've done this, pulled the rug right from underneath my feet; however, I don't understand why if she did. None of this makes any sense, so it has to be some third party, right? Involving John Garner and that woman.

"Ivy," Fox speaks up, breaking the silence. "We'll figure out who did this."

"Where's Shadow?" I probe.

"Shadow? He's going on a rampage trying to figure out who did this to you." Fox sighs, shifting her stance to lean against the doorframe. "We're all trying to figure it out, Ivy. We're not leaving you out to dry."

"... I'm so sorry for your loss, Ivy. It's not your fault. We're gonna figure out who did this." Ashe walks forward, kneeling in front of the bed with his good leg, trying to look into my eyes, but I turn away. I don't want them to see me like this.

Raven's voice pipes up, "I'm heading out to pick up Cherry, Tech, and Fog later this evening. Secretary is putting this as top priority." So the whole team will be back together? When was the last time we were all together for something? Secretary… she promised… my family would never get hurt. But they did. How could she let this happen? No– how could I let this happen? The atmosphere is too much for me to handle; their stares feel like sharp razors plunging into my skin. "Please, stop staring at me like I'm some charity case."

"That's not–" But I cut Ashe off.

"Just… leave me alone for a while. Until everyone is here." My voice is barely audible, but they all hear it, leaving the room one by one and leaving me alone with my thoughts once more.

***

Knock, knock, knock. I slowly stir from what little sleep I could get, my eyes squinting. I abruptly shut the blinds, trying to eliminate the amount of light entering the room. "No one's here." I drone out, turning around in the small bed.

"Really, now?" A familiar voice calls out. "Then I guess it doesn't matter if I let myself in." I jolt back around when I hear the door open, and Shadow strides in. He's not in his suit, just plain clothes and messy hair. He almost looks more exhausted than I do, although I don't really know what I look like. I sit up when he comes in, trying to brush out the mess that I am.

"You come here to pity me too?" I avoid eye contact with him, opting to stare at the cabinet beside me.

"No matter what I say, it'll be the wrong answer." I sigh as I hear him sit in the chair next to my bed, knowing he's right.

"I want to find out who did this to my family." I clench my fist, clutching the thin white sheets as I struggle to say the words– I don't want to believe that my family is actually gone.

"We will. They won't get away with this." He reaches out his hand, grabbing mine, and I let go of the sheets, holding onto his hand tightly in its place.

"How can you be so sure?" I tighten my grip, scared of all the possibilities.

"I never had a family growing up, but somewhere along the way, this team became my family. Nobody will get away with hurting my family like this, and I don't care how long it takes; we'll make sure whoever did this pays for it." I nod at his words, tears forming in my eyes again. I'm certain if anyone else was talking to me right now, I'd lash out at them, but Shadow always seems to have a way with me. Maybe because he's the first male figure I felt I could safely rely on. At least after my life started going downhill after my Mom's death. "It's late; why don't you get some sleep?" He gets up from the chair, leans forward, his hands pressing into the bed, and kisses my forehead– a new gesture. It startles me at first, but I honestly don't mind. It's oddly comforting, and part of me wishes he would linger around a bit longer. He pulls away, cupping my face as his ocean eyes look into my brown ones, "Goodnight, Erica."