Chapter 13. The Eruption (III)

My surroundings were afraid of me.

When I was young, I didn't know how to control my Energia. I was always told to keep it inside. I had set of rules that I must have not broken, so that I could fit in with the rest. It sounded simple to others, but they didn't understand how it felt. When I would stop the Energia from pouring out, I would feel my body explode from the inside. As if my tendons are trying to tear my skin against my own will. Despite how hard I tried, despite all the pain, sometimes it would leak out without my choice. As a result, I would hurt those around me. But... I was a child. A kid. I barely knew anything about the world. About myself.

I didn't want it. I didn't want that power. They always made sure to call me a monster. to mention those events as if I did it to hurt them. But, they never understood because they didn't try to listen. I was more scared than them.".

When he is just a young child in the sandbox in the kindergarten. he looked at the green flames enveloping him, isolating him from the outside world.

From outside, the group of children and the frightened kindergarteners thought they heard shouts of rage from inside the vortex. Menacing screams. But, inside the whirlwind, he cried.

"Please! Please! Someone help me!" Loy shouted in a panic. "Enough! Please! Enough!" he called out at the flames, as they burst out of him uncontrollably. With every movement he made to quiet the flames down, only more and more green Energia flames erupted out of him in massive amounts.

From among the flames, he could sometimes see them. The children and the kindergarteners. Scared and crying.

He closed his eyes trying to concentrate but the flames didn't die down. He tried to run away from them by running from the center of the maelstrom, but the flames followed him as he ran. A bone-shaking scream of panic from one of the kindergarteners was heard immediately.

The stress caused him to further erupt even further as the large vortex rose into the air creating a huge storm of Energia and sand that spread all over the kindergarten.

"Please! Come back!" Loy exclaimed as he saw the kids his age running away from him. Others, which were held by the Kindergartener, looked at the vortex in existential fear.

"Please! Someone! Please!" he repeated as he sobbed.

"Please... don't go..." he cried out in desperation.

"Please... someone… please… help me... please… please..." he repeated to himself inside the flames as his eyes starts to fill with emptiness. Suddenly, the vortex around him began to disappear, when a fist hit his face and knocked him to the floor.

"Over the years, my Energia incidents decreased. But it didn't help.

Their fear remained, and at some point, it turned into hatred.

In groups, they would provoke and harass me. Isolating me from them, just like my Energia did against my will.

When I wanted to participate in the game, everyone wouldn't agree to play. Everywhere I went, I was pushed aside. Even when I didn't do anything. Even when nothing happened for years. Nobody cared since the adults were on their side.

Quite rapidly as time went on, it became more and more severe. Until everyone completely ignored me.

No matter what I would do. Talk, shout, cry... I would be ignored.

A 6-year-old boy, who is trying to understand the difference between him and a dead man. I felt that I had no place in this world. I doubted my reason for living. Until the moment I tried to take my own life." Loy said, recalling that moment of his cliff near the open fields of Gillua. He looked down as the hard ground before him. With gritted teeth and teary eyes, he jumped. But, just before he hit the ground, his Energia burst out of him. Laid on the bottom of the cliff, he looked at his palms in disbelief. He clenched his fist in anger as he hit the ground, crying in frustration.

Tears came down Lin's face. "Loy... I'm sorry...!" she said when she can't stop them from flowing. Suddenly, she understood what Loy felt like when he heard this word coming from her mouth forward him.

"Monster".

She leaned against him. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to. I didn't know what that word meant to you... I should never have treated you that way." she said with her eyes painfully closed.

"You didn't know. After what happened, I can't blame you. You had more than enough reasons to react like that. I'm just glad you're here again." Loy said as he looked to the horizon with a tough look as he tried to not get emotional.

Suddenly, he opened his eyes in astonishment.

"That's it!" he said to himself in his head.