Chains of Regret

I have made things right. I have apologized for telling the person I cut off to kill themselves. I said that the problems I mentioned about him are true and I would still cut him off but I apologized about how harsh I was during the process of cutting him off.

I feel free now. The chains of regret I had wrapped around my heart is now free. I have settled everything. My anger has gone low as I felt angry at everything for the past few days.

For the past few days, I said my heart had a big hole. To one guy, I cut him off for the wrong reason and to the other guy, I cut him off but in a harsh way. Now all of that is settled. I have went and apologized and now the guy I cut off for the wrong reason is now friends with me again and the one I cut off in a harsh way, I apologized to him too but I said that I would still cut him off. I knew I didn't have the right to tell someone to kill themselves even if my goal was to cut them off.

I had a migraine always thinking about what I had to do and how I had to approach the situation because I hated apologizing a person after being angry at them. It takes guts to apologize to a person you hated at first. Now that I have settled my problems with them, I can now rest easy.

At first I was suicidal, thinking nothing would go correctly and the only way was for me to not exist. I just kept crying about it thinking nothing was going to be right. But of course I had people who cared for me even while I was angry at them. It was good to know that they cared.

I feel like I can go to school more easily now without feeling any hate towards anyone or overthinking anything.

Every human has obstacles to face and this was one of them. During the teenage phase, you go through a lot of emotions. I knew I had to remove my smiley mask and start revealing myself more and show my anger towards what I hate and stop pretending. I have done some mistakes myself and now I have fixed it.

I have learnt that once you are faced with sadness, you can either let it break you or you learn through those mistakes and try to fix it and make sure to not do those mistakes again.

The teenage phase is just a transition to adulthood. There will be days to fight and overcome during this phase. You are not a small kid anymore. Nobody is here to help you. Some things you have to deal with it yourself. You can't smile forever because the world won't be smiling back.

And what I told now was one of the obstacles which I have now overcome. I won't let sadness break me. It's time to accept that you can't be truly happy at something as whenever there is happiness there is also an amount of sadness equivalent to that happiness coming your way.

For now, I am happy.