Chapter 27:

My Childhood Friend is Scheming.

My Dad is an Otaku, My Mom is a Fujoshi, and I Wish I Was Dead


Man, training is tough.

I knew it was going to be intense, but I didn't realize just how hard it was going to be- it's double the workload now, with practices every morning and evening. Ever since we started, I haven't had time to do much of anything else but practice, go to class, go home, eat, and sleep.

I'm sore all over today. We've been incorporating a small amount of free weight training when we have time (not that much, though, since we still need to keep our flexibility for the matches), and my arms are screaming. My legs don't feel any better. Kicking a dummy for 30 minutes straight has made my calves so sore it's painful for me to move my feet.

Takeno-senpai was not lying when he said he'd go hard on us, but I can't blame him for it because he works the hardest out of everyone there. I definitely feel better about going to the tournament now, since I'm more confident with my ability to recognize attacks. One blessing in disguise about there being so few team members now is that he can work personally with each of us- my main focus area is being able to anticipate and think ahead, so that's basically all I've worked on- instead of going through the pre-programmed motions, I need to see my opponent's attack, dodge it, and counter, figure out what to do in every situation, and be quick on my feet and quick in my mind. That's what I've been getting beaten into my head (and my face and body) every practice.

The meal plan that Takeno-senpai gave me is surprisingly helpful- training would be a million times worse if I wasn't forcing myself to eat more. It's pretty varied and it doesn't have anything on it that I dislike, so it's worked for me so far. The most important thing on it is to "carb load" or whatever he called it, so just eating more rice is helping me feel more alert during training. Even though my mom's food is...uhh...questionable, it's basically impossible to screw up rice- you just put it in the cooker until it dings. I thought my stomach was going to burst with how much I had been eating early on, but now I've gotten used to it.

I've only been on this plan for a few days, but I weighed myself over the weekend and I gained about a quarter kilo. Yeah, it's slow going, but it's progress.

Today's lunch is a veritable mountain of chicken, with the vegetables and rice looking like garnishes in comparison. I know I have to eat this much to gain weight for the tournament, but it's still intimidating.

"Thanks for the food," I say softly before I start to dig in. I actually like that I marinated it in ponzu sauce- I didn't expect it to taste so good.

The classroom is buzzing at the moment as students catch up with their friends. I'm by myself at the moment, but only because Tatsu's gone to the bathroom. There are a couple desks pulled near mine to make a group. Over near the window in the front of the class, Satake is playing a game on his phone and the rest of the boys around him are looking at him with the goofiest expressions on their faces. I let out a long, annoyed breath. Why are guys their age getting so excited over a video game? Why don't they just go outside instead?

The popular girls have gathered their desks on the other side of the room, and are presumably gossiping about something really vapid. They and the boys are two sides of the same coin- obsessed over stupid stuff instead of what actually matters in life like their grades, their future...whatever.

A chipper voice snaps me to attention. "That looks great! Time to eat!"

Suddenly, a hot-pink pair of chopsticks flashes into my field of vision and takes one of the pieces of meat from my bento. I look up to see Ayame, chewing my 400-yen lunch like she's eating a Wagyu filet. There's another girl with her, standing behind her, and as I start to focus I can see it's the younger Suzuran from 1-4, who's almost hiding behind Ayame. She looks petrified.

"That's my lunch!" I cry out. "You've got your own!"

Just picking someone else's food out of their bento without asking? Did her parents not teach her any manners?

She shrugs her shoulders, sitting her blue lunchbox down. "Yeah, but yours looked better."

"You can't just take someone's food without asking."

"Who cares? You've got a lot of it. Are you on a growth spurt or something?"

"Don't change the subject...do you not have manners?"

"You're such a killjoy. Chiyuki from Radiata Reverb did this same thing to Takiko last night and Takiko was okay with it."

"This isn't anime, this is the real world!"

"Anyways, moving on-" she continues in that perky voice of hers. Don't try to change the subject to get out of this. I hate when you do that.

"I found a fourth member for our doujin circle!" She turns around, grabs Suzuran by the shoulders, and practically shoves her in front of her. The shy girl with the short, messy hair lets out a surprised eep as soon as Ayame touches her.

"Suzucchi here is gonna help us out!" Ayame crows with a proud expression.

So we're already at the nickname stage, I see? How long ago did they even meet? Are they that good of friends already? Are they even friends at all? They can’t be that close- Suzuran looks terrified of Ayame every time I see them together.

Wait a minute. That's not the issue here. That's not even close to the issue.

"Doujin circle? What are you talking about? You better explain what you mean by our."

"You know, Baka-Haru. Our circle," Ayame says with a smile. "Me, member number one, author, artist, and moneymaker, you, member number two, chief assistant, Tora-kun, member number three, sales booth coordinator, Suzucchi, member number four, moral support. That's how I've registered us at Comiket."

"Hold on just a minute. I didn't agree to join anything!" Her words make me jump straight out of my chair. "I'm not the assistant to anything, and I'm not going to that stupid comic coat thing or whatever it is! And don't call Takeno-senpai that."

"I mean Tora-senpai. My bad." She grins.

"Anyways, I want nothing to do with your idea. Try again with someone who's an actual otaku like you."

"Whaaaaaaat?" she says, smirking. "You don't want to help with a casual doujin circle? Are you...chicken?" She points at my lunch and then breaks out into high-pitched laughter.

"No, and that wasn't funny.”

"Fine," Ayame sighs. "I guess you owe me rent, then. One week's worth at ¥100000...¥25000. Pay up." She sticks out her hand with what looks like a sweet smile, though I can sense the massive amount of pure, unadulterated smugness behind it.

"What do you mean rent? I don't have that kind of money on me."

"You know," she says with a mocking tone. "The whole guest room thing."

Ugh. This is the same girl I attempted to pay for imposing on her family for a whole week and being their guest and she explicitly said that she and her family wouldn't take the money because it was more important to her that I was happy and that I made up with my parents. I guess all of that was lies, then.

"G-g-guest room?" Suzuran's face goes red. "Surely..."

Oh, right, she doesn't know.

"Don't worry about it!" Ayame and I both reflexively say at the same time. Suzuran makes a high-pitched squeak and flinches like she's about to get hit. Poor girl, this amount of being around Ayame really must be torture for her.

"Anyway, Haru-kun, where's the money?" Ayame's still holding out her hand.

"I told you, I don't have it!"

"Well, that's a problem, isn't it? You can bring it tomorrow, or next week, but I'll start charging interest."

First off, that rate you're charging is definitely too high- you can get lower rents on bigger apartments around here, and second off, it's not your house! You don't own it, you can't rent rooms out!

I huff in annoyance. "You want me to find your parents and tell them that their daughter is a loan shark?"

All she does is grin even more. "You can try...but good luck getting ahold of them when they work all day."

She's got me there. I don't have her parents' phone numbers, and even if I asked my parents for them, what's the point if I couldn't reach them?

Besides, I still do owe her. The little voice in the back of my head can't stop repeating that I haven't paid her back enough for helping me out when I needed it the most.

She starts counting on her fingers. "So, Baka-Haru-kun, you have two choices- number 1, you pay the rent, or number 2, you work it off by joining the doujin circle."

The last thing I want to do on my days off is have to listen to Ayame talk about weird otaku crap while she draws her terrible manga, especially right now, when I'm busy preparing for the karate tournament. But…I still owe her.

"When is this comic thing?"

"Middle of August. Obon weekend."

Well, that's not as terrible as I thought, but it's still not how I want to spend my summer. Instead of paying tribute to my ancestors, I’m getting forced into an otaku convention. I think that should get me 9 million years in the Hell of Flaying.

Well…it’s not like my family ever does anything or goes anywhere for Obon. But still.

"My doujin is almost done- all you guys need to do is proofread it and maybe help shade and put some background textures in. Oh, and help man the booth at Comiket, of course."

That actually doesn't seem too bad- it's not a ridiculous level of work, and it will be over summer break when we have more free time. That said, I'm not concerned about the amount of work- I'm worried about the concept.

"Ayame, when you say your doujin, you aren’t talking about the one with the tentacles, right?"

"Haru-kun," she says with a smug grin, "those weren't tentacles. Did you want them to be, or something?"

"T-t-t-t-t-tentacles?!" Suzuran stutters, turning red once again. What a pure-hearted reaction. That sort of personality does make her pretty cute, and it's helped by her massive chest- Focus, Haruto, her eyes are up there!

"Don't worry about it!" Ayame and I both say simultaneously for the second time. Suzuran has no idea about any of the context behind this conversation, and I don't want her thinking that I'm into weird stuff (like Ayame).

"They were ropes, not tentacles." Ayame replies.

"That doesn't make it any better."

"So go ahead and give me an answer," she says. "Rent, or doujin circle?"

I really don't want to join her weird otaku group- every cell, nucleus, and piece of DNA in my brain that has some bit of dignity as a man and as a human being is screaming out not to do it. But she's got me cornered. I don't have the money to pay her, and I still owe her a favor.

Damn it, she's slick. "I'll join your little circle or whatever it’s called.” I’ve been completely defeated.

"I knew it! Good to have you, Number Two!" She does a little happy shuffle like she didn't just extort me.

"Now, your first assignment, Haru-kun, is to read this-" She pulls a book out of her backpack and the cover is the most suggestive thing I've ever seen. Why did she bring that to school?! If the Disciplinary Committee or a teacher saw that, she'd be in big trouble!

"What the hell is that cover?"

"Oops! That's Middle School MxM. My bad!" She digs around in her bag and pulls out another one. This one's cover is more sedate, thankfully. "Hero Tensei. Once you read it, you'll understand how cute Ariel-chan is and why I drew my doujin about her."

Otaku stuff is weird, but this book doesn't look that large, so it won't take that long to read- and the last manga Ayame gave me was good, surprisingly…and unfortunately for my sense of pride. Maybe this one will make it two for two?

"Don't worry, once you get done there are still 19 more volumes for you!"

Urk.

"W-w-w-what about me?" Suzuran asks hesitantly.

"You get to stand there and look cute," Ayame says without hesitation.

Suzuran blushes, yet again.

"Oh yeah, and I want you to read this.” Ayame fishes around in her bag again and pulls out a manga with a blue background and two girls on the front- one with dark blue hair, the other with hair the color of cotton candy. "It's Cozy Camp! This one is really cute and relaxing and I wanted to make my next doujin about it."

If it's relaxing, that can't be too bad. It might be good to read at night before bed. I hesitantly take it and put it in my bag with the LN. I'm a member of this circle or whatever it's called now, which means that even though I might hate it and might never have joined willingly, I have to give my best effort.

"By the way, our first meeting is this weekend, so clear your calendar."

"Meeting? No one said anything about a meeting! I thought this comic thing wasn't until summer break.”

Ayame's brow furrows. "How are we supposed to get anything done if we don't have meetups before Comiket, stupid?"

Crap, she's right. It's a rare occurrence for her.

"You know I'm busy preparing for the prefectural tournament...Please don't make this take up too much of my time. I need to study for finals too."

"Oh, don't worry," Ayame waves her hand. "It's just weekly on Saturdays."

Well, that's not too bad. "Where?"

"At the Danny's near the train station."

I'm hesitant. I guess a meal or two could make Ayame yapping about otaku stuff for hours on end better, though I really still don't want to. But damn it, I have to.

"I guess I'll come."

"Awesome! I'll put you in the LIME chat now!" She takes her phone out of her bag and taps a couple buttons and I dig into my bag and find that my phone has lit up.

@Ayamonogatari added you to group: Nakamachi Tomodachi (1 online, 1 offline)

"What is this name supposed to be?" Seeing that awful pun makes me stare at my phone with bewilderment for a few seconds. "It sounds like a little kid came up with it."

"Oh, that's our circle name- I thought that since we all played on Nakamachi Street as kids it was pretty fitting..."

"I d-d-didn't really know you when we were young, though..." Suzuran says hesitantly.

"Aw, what's the big deal? You lived above that bakery, didn't you? That was on Nakamachi Street so you're another Nakamachi friend."

"Wait a minute, how did you get Takeno-senpai's contact information?" I can see how she got Suzuran's LIME considering Ayame never leaves the poor girl alone, but when did she get the time to seek out my captain and ask him?

"That's the thing..." She trails off and puts a finger on her chin. "I asked him for it, and he gave me a number, but he doesn't have LIME and when I tried to add him by number it said 'number is not a mobile phone'..." She suddenly brightens back up again. "Oh well, I'll call him the day of!"

You do realize that a girl calling a guy she only knows from school can only be taken one way, right? Even if you're old friends who haven't seen each other in ages?

At this moment, Tatsurou comes back in from the bathroom, yawning. "Time for lunch…the grilled mackerel is calling my name-" He stops when he notices the unfamiliar girl from another class standing beside Ayame at our cluster of desks. "Oh, hey, Ayappi, who's this?"

As soon as he makes eye contact with Suzuran she immediately shies away and jumps behind Ayame.

"Oh, that's Suzucchi.”

"Suzucchi?"

"Yup, her!" Ayame shoves the shy girl in front of her once again. Suzuran makes a noise that sounds like a frightened mouse.

"Go on, introduce yourself." Ayame pats her on the back a couple times.

"I-I-I-I-I'm Fuuka Suzuran...Class 1-4...n-nice to meet you..." She's looking down at her feet, and she can barely bow because she's already so hunched over.

"Oh. Tatsurou Aikawa. Nice to meet you, too," Tatsu says in a gentle voice. "I'm friends with Ayappi and Haru."

"Ayappi is w-who?" Suzuran asks, fidgeting.

"Me!" Ayame exclaims as she points to herself.

"Oh...t-that's a very cute nickname..."

"I know, right? Takkun over here is very good with those!"

"Hehe, I guess I'm pretty much a master." A sheepish grin crosses Tatsurou’s face.

A master at what? Saying dumb things? There's someone who’s better at that standing right in front of you.

"What brings you here, anyway?" As soon as Tatsurou asks that, Suzuran immediately looks away and fidgets again.

"I, uhh..."

"You want to eat lunch with us, don't you, Suzucchi?" Ayame smiles.

"Um...y-yes...if you would be so kind..." It’s taken me this long to notice that she's holding a lunchbox and it's wrapped in a red napkin. You rarely ever see those anymore. That's super cute.

"We'd be happy to have you," Tatsurou says. Suzuran's expression barely changes, but I can see a bit of...is that happiness? I'm not sure.

One more person here isn't going to make much of a difference...at least she's quiet.

"You can get this seat over here, by me," Tatsu grins, pointing at the desk that's pushed over on the side nearest the window. We usually keep that seat open for whoever wants to chat with Tatsu (but not me) about something on any given day. But today, it looks like it's Suzuran's.

He continues. "I know Ayappi can get a little annoying, so I wanted to give you a little space..."

"Hey! I am not!" she pouts.

"Wow, dude...you just came out and said it..."

Tatsurou gives me a sarcastic wink in response.

"W-well, if you're okay with it...I'll have a seat...thank you for the food..." Suzuran hesitantly sits in the chair, like she still doesn't know if she has permission to.

And just like that, our lunch group has grown by one today.

Pope Evaristus
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Steward McOy
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