Chapter 30:
My Dad is an Otaku, My Mom is a Fujoshi, and I Wish I Was Dead
It took me days, but I've caught this Kouga bastard all by himself. He turns around and it looks like he doesn’t know what’s going on. Perfect. That makes it easier for me to kick his ass.
I’m going for intimidation first. My hands are in my pockets, I'm stalking forward, making myself as big as possible...perfect. I look like a real thug right now. I bet he's about to piss his pants.
"You the bastard who's fuckin' my sister?" I growl as I approach. He has a vacant expression on his little bitch face. Don't play dumb, Kouga. You know who you are and what you did.
"What?" he chokes out in that whiny voice of his. "Can I help you? Who are you?"
"That's not important.” This kid's terrified. I can see it in his eyes. "I'll ask you one more time. Are you the asshole who's fuckin' around with my sister?"
"Hold on. Who are you talking about? Whose sister?"
"Don't play dumb, Kouga, you little bitch!" I get right up in his face, but his vacant expression doesn't change. Just for pretending he doesn’t know what’s going on, I'm gonna make sure I kick him in the nuts once I piledrive him.
"No. I'm sorry, I genuinely don't know who you're talking about. I assume you're talking about a girl, right? I mean, I'm not friends with many of them, but are you talking about Suzuran and the president? Or do you mean Sudou-san?"
"I MEAN MY FUCKING SISTER, KOUGA! YOUR FUCKING GIRLFRIEND! YOU KNOW WHO SHE IS!"
There's a blank look on his face. Seriously, this kid can't think his playing dumb act is gonna get anywhere. "I think you have the wrong guy. I don't have a girlfriend."
I can feel myself about to snap. Fuck it. I don't have to clarify, I'll just hit him. "YOU FUCKED WITH THE WRONG SHIRITORI!"
"Ah!" Something registered with him. "Are you...Ryou-kun? I haven't seen you since you were little! Uhh...can you explain what's going on?" He's talking like he's my fucking grandma or something!
"This ain't a family reunion, dumbass-"
He's not even looking at me. His gaze is focused on something else.
From down the street, a pair of girls about my age, one of them carrying a shopping bag and the other with a sugary bitch tea drink, have also stopped a few meters away from us. The one to the left has shorter hair and straight bangs, and the one on the right has twintails. Kouga's staring lasers at the one on the left.
The girl with the twintails turns pale and immediately hops behind the other one. The girl with the bangs smirks. "Hey, Maid-kun.”
Kouga stares at her with even more hostility. It's like he's forgotten I exist! He plays dumb with me but looks at a GIRL like he wants to fight? Are you fucking kidding me?! This cocky son of a bitch doesn't even think I'm worth fighting or something?!
"I'M YOUR OPPONENT, FUCKFACE!"
He doesn't even budge.
I see what he's doing. He's trying to make me sucker him so I look like a coward. Well, two can play at that game. As soon as they leave and he turns around he's fucking DEAD. Actually, scratch that. He's gonna fucking pay attention to me. I grab him by the collar and yank him as hard as I can.
Suddenly, I hear another girl's voice. "What's going on...Niichan?"
Oh my God, it's her.
She's right in front of me and she's looking at me and oh God what do I do she's so cute and if she sees me about to punch her brother what will she think and...
She looks me dead in the face with those beautiful eyes and her brow furrows. "Who are you?"
OH FUCK SHE SPOKE TO ME OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK WHAT DO I DO OH FUCK
"I...uhh- ahh-" Goddammit, say something! Say something!
"RYOU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
Oh, son of a bitch. It just got worse.
I turn around to see my sister approaching from the other side. I know that expression and she's mad as hell, dude. Oh shit, she's gonna kill me. She's getting closer.
Sorry, Kouga's sister. I have my pride as a man, and I don't want to look weak in front of you, but I know when it's time to cut my losses and just run away. I take off, sprinting down the street. Left turn, right turn, faster, faster, running by clumps of confused shoppers and families...Nee-san’s still behind me! She's getting closer! I can't shake her! Shit! She's coming! Right turn, keep going!
My heart is racing and my head is pounding as I turn onto the empty street that leads to the school. I have a second to look behind me, and...I expect to see my sister breathing fire, bearing down on me like she's possessed, but she's not there.
Did I lose her? My breathing starts to slow. She's not coming. I made it. I'm safe. Thank fucking God.
Now how do I get home without running into her on the way? I think I can go a long way around. If I turn up the street here, it'll take me by the Lowson where Acchan and Tanaka hang out, and then I turn at Nakamachi and fade into the crowd, take two more lefts and maybe hop a fence or two and I'll be in through my window before my stupid-ass sister realizes it. I may be a badass but that doesn't mean I don't have brains, either.
The dark clouds are covering the sky when I turn the street corner where the Lowson is on. I look both ways about fifteen times to see if I spot any rampaging teenage girls, but there’s no one. I outsmarted her.
"Hey, Lil' Bro!" A voice calls out from nearby and I instinctively stop, but when I turn around all I see is Tanaka, sitting in the parking lot of the Lowson. Acchan is there, too, and so is their other friend who occasionally comes around there sometimes. He shaves his head but I don't know what his real name is so I just call him Hage. The sky overhead is black at this point. Are they trying to get rained on? Dumbasses.
"What's up with you, dude? You're acting funny.” Acchan gives me a worried look.
"None of your business. Gimme a smoke, I fuckin' need one."
"Uh-uh." Acchan shakes his head.
"Huh? Why the fuck not?!"
"Cause you're underage."
"YOU'RE fucking underage!"
"Yeah, but it's different when I do it." Acchan shrugs his shoulders and lights one up. Inside, the girl at the cash register taps her nails on the counter, not even caring that we're loitering in the parking lot.
"Forget that. Listen. If a girl comes around here you tell her that you saw nothing and I was never here. Understand?"
I get no response.
"Uh, dude? Understand?"
Again, they say nothing back. All three of them have dreamy expressions like they're high or something.
"Nice legs..." I hear Tanaka mutter.
I bend over to try to get his attention. "The fuck are you spacing out for-"
An arm wraps around my neck with such force that it lifts me off the ground, followed by a murderous growl. "Ryou, you little brat...you're in so much trouble..." I'm struggling, I'm trying to get out...maybe if I shift I can throw her over my shoulder...I can't! She's too damn strong! My sister's starting to pull me off my feet!
"Acchan, Tanakan, bald guy, do something!"
"Nice rack, bro..." Acchan says slowly.
"Yup..." Tanaka responds in the same dreamy voice.
"ANIKI! HELP ME!!!"
It's no use...I can't move! Her arm is cutting off my circulation and she's dragging me off. "I better not catch you messing with Haru-kun again..." she spits in a rage. My vision's starting to blur.
It's useless. She's going to force me into seiza until my legs go numb and then whichever one of Mom or Dad decides to bother to take care of their children today will get back and yell at me some more for being a failure and a moron who tried to fight his sister's boyfriend in public even though he really fucking deserved it and for skipping school and for failing tests and for whatever.
I can't fight it. I'm just being dragged along, limp. My life is over, dude.
Wait a minute.
Something just popped into my head. If I can't break her grip on my own, I have to attack somewhere else, and this is the first thing that came into my panicking mind.
Back in elementary school they called me the Kancho King because I was ruthless, dude. You couldn't escape from me. If anyone was enough of a dumbass to bend over around me they were on the ground crying.
Still, I gave that up when I entered middle school, because it's cowardly and for kids. Real hard-ass delinquents fight face-to-face with their fists like men. I haven't tried a kancho in over a year at this point, and this would be by far the hardest one I've ever done. I can't think straight, I have to use one hand so I can't get all the power behind it, I can't see where I'm aiming, and if I miss I probably break my fingers and I get the shit beat out of me too. It's a one-in-a-million chance.
Is it worth it?
Fuck it. Of course it's worth it. Real men risk everything to achieve the impossible.
As my sister drags me along, I step inside, positioning my shoulder.
"ORYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
I swing my hand that's just been freed in an uppercut, fingers pointed, as hard as I can.
Bullseye.
I don't hear a scream, or a gasp, or anything to indicate she's been hit, but her grasp loosens just enough that I can squirm out, take off, and sprint as fast as I can.
One second. Now two. Now three. Now four.
The roar rises behind me. "RYOU! YOU'RE DEAD!!!"
I need somewhere to hide. I can't outrun her. I'm running faster than I ever have but I take a look behind me and she's gaining. I'm not gonna outlast her. I turn onto another street and pass by some confused people, but it's just houses. I turn again. The sound of feet pounding behind me is closer than ever.
Oh shit, she's gaining. Please let there be somewhere I can hide. Please, please, please...everything is closing...all the lights are off...she's close...fuck, fuck, fuck...
One more street. There's a sign and a light in the door. I don't care what this place is. It could be a makeup shop or a bunny cafe for all I care. I swing the door open and slam it, crouching down behind it, breathing heavily.
The footsteps continue outside, going down the street, disappearing into the distance.
She's gone. I'm safe. I made it. For real this time. My breathing slows.
Now that I've had a second to catch my breath, what is this place? I take a look around and see...guitars of all kinds, in every color of the rainbow, round and pointed and square, hanging on the walls. Basses, large and black, red, and white. Drums in lustrous black, cymbals in shiny brass. On the floor are massive speakers, pushed next to each other.
We had a store like this in town?
A voice startles me. "Welcome!"
Standing over me is an old man, his hair white and his skin creased.
"Are you interested in an instrument?"
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