The Blanket

I was surprised that Camilla, despite her initial coldness towards me, would be the type of woman who loves to cuddle. Maybe not in anyone's presence, but when we watched something or went to sleep she still demanded to be in my arms. I didn't really need to sleep, but I did it anyway to pass the time. I didn't know if her behavior resulted from the fact that she was seriously scared that she might lose me, or if I didn't know this side of her until now.

Of course, it didn't bother me, after all, I had fought for her for so long. Also, my hands didn't stiffen and I didn't mind at all, which I've heard is a common problem for couples. However, something worried me, which I did not fail to talk to Ronald about later.

"I warned you it would be like that," he said. "Judy and I can see that you care for Camilla and she's happy with you, but remember you can't give her everything a living man can offer her."

As usual, his words stung me deeply, although I knew how much truth there was in them. Especially when winter came when I couldn't do anything to keep her warm. I have seen many times how men would lend gloves, scarves, and even jackets to their loved ones, and all I could do was clench my fists in anger because I couldn't do it, and I was only lowering the temperature with my presence.

I've noticed that she dresses warmer even at home. She didn't sleep in light, cute pajamas, which I know she liked, but she switched to heavy tracksuits. She tried to pretend it was nothing when I asked her, but she brushed me off. She really thought I wouldn't see her just starting to shiver in my arms after a while. I would then move away from her and cover her with a thick blanket. My body didn't seem warm, it was cold to the touch, I was a ghost after all, and I had to accept it and once again agree with Ronald. I decided then that I'd rather watch her sleep than let her freeze because of me.

I couldn't tell her no, though, as she usually woke up after a while and asked where I was in a terrified voice. I immediately lay down next to her and calmed down, cuddling up to her already through the blanket, although I knew she didn't like it. I usually tried to get the material away before she woke up, after she had scolded me once in the morning and resented me all day for doing it.

Then she got sick and lay for a week with a fever, runny nose, and cough. She could barely speak because of the sore throat. She was furious that she would miss classes and that she had to arrange replacements for her shifts at the Association. Zoey looked after her, and I was supposed to make sure she didn't overwork herself and try to work when she wasn't home. My beloved sighed heavily, reaching for another handkerchief and sadly realizing that she had already drunk her last sip of tea some time ago.

"Cami, wouldn't you rather meet someone alive?" I asked her, seeing how she was struggling with the disease.

"Why do you ask?" she croaked.

"I can't even take care of you!" I shouted, taking all my frustration out on her. "I'm useless to you. It would be better if you had someone alive by your side to look after you."

She bent down and with the last of her strength threw her slipper at me, then fell heavily on the bed.

"Don't tell me what would be better for me. I fell in love with you and I will accept all the consequences that it entails," she replied with a smile. "And don't talk such nonsense again, because it gives me a headache."