Chapter 1:

CHAPTER 1: HINWE TAL-INWIR

The Elf Saint is a NEET, so I Forced Her to Work in Another World, Vol. 15


Hinwe Tal-Inwir, the current Elf Saint, or as she was known by her official title, the Custodian of Cherwoods’ Divine Waters. She came from a line of long-lived elves who served as the Elf Saint, with her lifespan made even longer because of her half-divinity. As such, she—along with the Beastman Saint Lady Ruro of the Wolf—saw or interacted the legendary human hero, Cassandra David, when she was still walking over Chersea and the Four Other Realms.

“…”

However, unlike the Beastman Saint—known for her outgoing and nonchalant personality, Lady Hinwe was a polar opposite. She’s the type who’d rather stay at the sidelines of a ball or party, instead at the middle of it. Images dedicated to her were forbidden, and no portrait of hers could be seen anywhere, including her own city. Personal visits were not allowed, though it was fine for emergency meetings. But even there, she’d rather send a representative to speak for her, while she listened from behind a spot in the room, hidden from sight by heavy curtains.

Well, it’s not like she’s keeping up the distance from her worshippers because the elf lady meant it. If one could go past the thick curtains that obscure the Saint during her rare appearances, one would be surprised that the ‘Lady Hinwe’ who sat and listened from behind the covers was not really the Lady Hinwe entrusted with the god-powers. Those who could remember the Elf Saint’s looks from eons ago would immediately say that this was a body double; a guard tasked with her safety.

Yes, she is a fake Lady Hinwe.

Now, one might ask, where was the Lady Hinwe? Somewhere in that huge, hollow tree converted into the Elf Saint’s palace, there was a room. Unlike others with heavy, gilded oak doors, this one only had a notable sign that says ‘Keep Out’ in Elvish tongue.

Though it was an unassuming place, inside was Cherwoods’ half-goddess, the real Elf-Saint, Hinwe Tal-Inwir. Nearly all the time she sat—or laid down—on her gilded couch, reading on books, and/or munching on whatever food her closest servants brought to her. Contrary to everyone’s expectation of what a saint should look like, Lady Hinwe’s clothes were dirty and sloppy, if she decided to wear one at all. Her hair, messy as it was, could be mistaken for a bird’s nest, even though her maids took great care of fixing it each time she woke up.

“…”

However, their greatest disappointment with her was her room.

“Your Holiness,” a maid exclaimed as she let herself in, “nary two long sleeps have passed, and this place can be mistaken for a pigsty again!”

No answer, as the servant searched the room for her mistress. Though it seemed empty, she knew that the saint was only buried somewhere under those heaps of books, papers, used clothes, and other disgusting things. All that she needed to see was a ‘sign of life’.

“Your Holiness, it’s time for your breakfast!” the maid used her trump card.

At once, one of the heaps showed some movement. A few minutes later, a hand burst out, and she pulled her mistress from it.

“My goodness Your Holiness!” she muttered while she dusted dirt, and crumbs, from Lady Hinwe’s body. “This beautiful skin of yours is always suffering from your disgusting manners! Even though you’re pretty, I’d still stay away from you if I’m a man!”

“Ugh…” the Elf Saint never hid her displeasure from the constant nagging of her servant, “just give me my breakfast, Meanor! I’m hungry!”

The maid, Meanor, did not immediately comply. Instead, she grabbed a random cloak lying nearby, and wrapped it on her mistress, before giving her the food.

“Thanks, Meanor!” Lady Hinwe smiled at her, though still half-asleep.

“My pleasure, Your Holiness,” the maid curtsied. Although her mistress had a lot of things to improve on herself, Meanor appreciated the little gestures Lady Hinwe showed to her servants, including her.

Yep, she will never trade her position for anything else…

----------

While eating, the Elf Saint made a space on her breakfast table, and placed a rectangular, dark-colored tablet with a glowing glass and many small, square buttons. Those lit up whenever she pressed it, and Meanor, as curious as she was, stood nearby to watch her mistress. Much to her astonishment, Lady Hinwe pushed a few buttons, then slammed the mini-table in frustration.

Darn it! I still have no internet! Ooof!” the Elf Saint let herself fall on a bunch of pillows, and with muffled mouth, screamed with all her might.

“Y-Your Holiness…” Meanor leaned closer on the glowing tablet, “is there…is there something wrong this…erm, glowing thing?”

“This?” Lady Hinwe asked, “You mean the laptop? Well, I don’t know. But, hmm…I guess there’s a problem, yes. See, I’m trying to access the internet for a while now…however, no success.”

“O-Oh?” the elf maid was confused about the words of her mistress, so she just kept silent.

However, the saint continued, “For six years, I’ve been unsuccessful in going back online. I don’t know; I’ve already reinstalled my browser, formatted the laptop, and deleted my cookies. Still, this lizard thing appears! Did I do something wrong?”

“Uhm,” still clueless, Meanor suggested, “if that ‘laptop’ is having problems, then why don’t you return it to the person you bought it from?”

“Nice advice, Meanor,” Lady Hinwe chuckled. “The only problem is, I don’t remember who sold me this.”

“What?”

“I mean, yes, I vaguely remember I bought this; nary six years had passed when I first laid my hand on this thing. However, for some strange reason, I can’t recall the face of that person…or is it even a person? See, it’s as if there’s a huge part of my memories that have gaps. All I can remember is how to operate this laptop, access the internet, and refill its energy thru my magic.”

“I-I see…” Meanor wanted to raise the point that she there could be problems with her memories, but decided not to, since elves rarely get that condition similar to humans when they grow older.

Argh! I don’t know,” Lady Hinwe closed the laptop. “I think I’m still fine, though I may have lived longer than our kin. I mean, I can still remember the color of the panties you wear every time you appear here, so I guess my mind is still fi—buh!

Meanor, though she had high regards to her mistress, wouldn’t tolerate her ‘perverted’ ways. She sent a fist to Lady Hinwe’s face, though it was just a light hit. “Please mind your word, Your Holiness,” she told her, “You’re our standard of piety and holiness here.”

“R-Right, haha…” the Elf Saint quickly changed the topic, “Anyway! Now that I can’t access the internet, I can’t follow my favorite mangas online! I don’t know if the writer of Hunter X Jager has come out of his hiatus and has a new chapter! Or if Berserker is finally continued…”

The maid just listened to her mistress; she just couldn’t comprehend what she was saying.

“Worse, I want to know the ending of Solo Piece!”

“I-I’m…” without a word to say to comfort the saint, Meanor chose the ‘generic’ route, “I’m sure it’ll be…uhm, al-alright, Your Holiness!”

Still, Lady Hinwe ignored her and continued to whine, “Gah! I want my mangas back!”

The maid could only scratch her head and looked at the saint with pity as the latter threw tantrums. Though deep in her heart she wanted to help her, the heavens knew that she’s powerless to do so, let alone the knowledge of where to start. Meanor couldn’t even understand what Lady Hinwe was talking about.

And then, like the suddenness of her tantrums, the Elf Saint stopped. She sat in a stiff and upright manner, and gave Meanor a long stare. She asked, “What do you think? I suddenly have an idea.”

“Let’s hear it then, Your Holiness.”

“I’ll summon the internet!”

“Hah?”

“Didn’t the Human Saint do that before? As far as I remember, there was a time when the Beastman Saint closed Cherwind from its crossing through Chersea, and to get to the other side, she opened a portal herself in her own room.”

“I can’t remember that story much. But I guess it happened, considering I heard something like that,” the maid admitted. “Besides, what is the connection of ‘summoning the internet’ and the Human Saint’s teleportation to Cherwind?”

“If the Human Saint can teleport, then there’s also a way to summon something, right?” Lady Hinwe’s lips drew a smirk, “Don’t worry, Meanor, I know someone who can do that…”

----------

***A few long sleeps later…***

Meanor, daughter of Ulve, surely didn’t expect that she would stand inside the Grand Ritual Chambers of the Elf Saint’s palace a few long sleeps after that ‘idle’ talk with her mistress. Back then, she never gave a serious thought to Lady Hinwe’s plans and whining.

However…

“Lady Natasha Bellingsen is kind enough to give me this for free,” the Elf Saint proudly showed the maid a piece of paper filled with weird circles, lines and symbols, drawn using scarlet ink. “She says she knows and understands my predicament, so she made me a manga-summoning magic circle! Now, I can download my favorite stuff without the internet!”

Err…uhm, good for you I guess, Your Holiness…” Meanor stared at the paper with suspicion, “And for what condition did she give it to you?”

Hm? Well, she said she wants copies of the mangas I download, if ever it succeeded.”

“If ever it succeeded, she says?”

“Well, this thing is experimental,” Lady Hinwe admitted. “Or so Lady Natasha says. There’s no way to know what will we summon in the end. She also said I can summon otherworldly monsters, depending on my luck!”

The nonchalant laugh her mistress let out was enough for Meanor. She placed the paper on the ritual table and headed for the door.

“W-Wait up, Meanor!”

“Erm…”

“Stay here with me,” she pulled her maid back. “I need someone to defend me while summoning!”

“Y-Your Holiness, I’m a maid, not a warrior,” Meanor pointed out.

“You’re the one I trust!” Lady Hinwe insisted. “Besides, you can use magic, right?”

“Y-Yes! I think there’s no elf in this world or the others that can’t use magic.”

“Then you’re good enough!” the Elf Saint locked them both inside the ritual chamber, much to Meanor’s chagrin. Nevertheless, the maid knew that further resistance was futile, so she had no choice but to go along with her mistress’ whims.

Even if it’s dangerous…

“I hate this…” Meanor muttered as she watched Lady Hinwe prepare for the ritual summoning.

----------

As a saint, of course, Lady Hinwe knew the sentiments of her maid. Still, Meanor was the one who listened to her ‘crazy ideas’, so she wanted her to be by her side always. In any case, the Elf Saint intended to summon a book, so she had full confidence that Lady Natasha’s circles won’t lead into something like the monstrosity the NTR man, Griffith, summoned to betray his mercenaries and Guts.

Ah…she’s wallowing in her manga fantasies again…

“…”

Lady Hinwe pricked her finger and let out a small drop of blood. Once it fell on the paper with the magic circle, she recited the spell that the Demon Saint taught her to activate it, “Aoph, Toph, Remse…”

Meanor watched with dread as the magic circle glowed. Her mind was racing, thinking of ways to defend her mistress—and herself—should their ritual went awry.

“…open your world! Grant my desires! Give me the one thing that inflames my heart!”

A blinding light then filled the ritual room and temporarily disoriented Lady Hinwe and Meanor. However, it didn’t take too long for their eyes to adjust to the brightness; though they were still confused as to what just happened.

“…”

The Elf Saint and her maid expected a book to appear above the magic circle. Instead, a portal of some sort appeared. Meanor, sensing that her mistress would look first, tried to race her to it. However, Lady Hinwe told her to stand back; she was the one who’d take the risk, as the activation was her responsibility.

“…”

When the Elf Saint took a peek, however, what she could only make out on the other side of the portal was that it was a dark place, though for a few distances away from the ritual chamber’s light, she could see sand. Meanor, as she was no warrior, brought out a kitchen knife she was hiding inside her skirt, just in case they had to fight.

“What’s this?” Lady Hinwe asked, disappointed at the results. “I said I wanted books—mangas, to be exact—not sand.”

Erm…did Her Holiness the Demon Saint give you some warnings before using that?” the maid raised that point.

“Well, she did say this is experimental,” the Elf Saint slumped on a nearby bench. “And…it’s illegal.”

The maid’s face went pale. “Y-Your Holiness, w-what do you…what do you mean by ‘illegal’?”

“That the heavens forbid its use.”

“Gah!” Meanor immediately grabbed the paper with the magic circle and tore it to pieces, much to Lady Hinwe’s shock. The portal disappeared in a flash.

“Why did you do that, meany Meanor?”

“Your Holiness, you may kick me out of this palace, but I won’t allow you to get punished by the heavens for such a stupid matter,” the maid declared. “At least, not under my watch! And no amount of name calling can dissuade me from protecting you!”

At that moment, it’s as if the Elf Saint came back to her senses. “Hmm…you’re right, Meanor,” she concurred, “I guess I’ll have to find another way to get my manga…if ever I can hold those books again. In any case, thanks for doing that.”

Meanor, relieved that her mistress saw wisdom in her act, turned for the door. She didn’t want to stay inside that chamber a minute longer. Likewise, Lady Hinwe followed her servant, though she was really disappointed at the result of the magic circle. However, just as they were about to exit the room…

“Wh-What is this place?”

“!!!” the elves hurried back to the ritual table, where they were surprised to see a human male standing on it. His black, but overgrown hair partly covered his face; but what drew their attention was that he had no clothes on.

Meanor, armed with her kitchen knife, quickly put herself between her mistress and the uninvited guest. Nevertheless, Lady Hinwe was quick to ask her servant to stay put.

“Don’t worry, Meanor,” she told her, “This human is as confused as us. He meant no harm.”

The maid then sheathed her makeshift weapon as the Elf Saint approached him, who seemed not to notice their presence.

“Who are you?” Lady Hinwe called out to the man. “Don’t be afraid! We won’t harm you, only show your fa—!!!”

The Elf Saint was speechless when the man shoved the bangs that obscured his face, revealing a pair of deep, dark eyes, a delicately shaped nose, and beautiful lips.

It’s as if Lady Hinwe is looking at a bishounen, straight from her shoujo mangas…

“Uh…” the Elf Saint and her maid were at a loss. They surely didn’t expect that to happen; not only was his face attractive, his…

“Y-Y-Y-Your H-Holiness, th-th-that’s…”

“L-Long…yes…” Lady Hinwe’s eyes never wavered; she didn’t notice that her cheeks were beet red.

Oh, my apologies!” the man, when he noticed where they were staring, quickly chanted a spell that wrapped him in a set of clothes. His face was still red in embarrassment, but he tried to shake it off by giving them a smile, “I don’t know what happened. See, it was all dark and empty, but suddenly, I appeared here. If I may ask, where is this place?”

“C-Ch-Ch-Che-Che—”

“Cherwoods,” it was Meanor who answered for her mistress, who kept on stammering.

“The land of the elves I see…” the man paused for a moment, as if thinking of something. Then, he reached out a hand to them for a shake, “A pleasure to meet you! My name is Kuro of Arles…and you are?”

----------

***The Holy Palatial Gardens, weeks later…***

For six years after the demon people arrived in Chersea, humanity had lived peacefully with them. The human rulers, in agreement with the Demon Saint and the demon king-president, gave the undiscovered lands north of Chersea for the fledgling demon republic. In turn, the demons exported their technology and ideas to the human kingdoms, just like how the Cherwind and Chersea exchanged knowledge as well. At first, it was tumultuous, for there were some who clung to traditions and customs of old. However, the Human Saint kept humanity in line with her pacifistic policies, either by diplomacy or coercion, so that in the end, constitutional monarchies sprang up and spread to every part of the human realm.

And it doesn’t end there…

Factories, aided by the Beastmen ‘steam engine’, appeared throughout Chersea like mushrooms, following the examples of the goblin lords. Steam-powered trains became commonplace, and gradually replaced the carriage and dust paths as the primary mode of transportation for humans. Ship lanes were also established, and with steam ships, the days of travel were greatly reduced…some to just mere hours. Kingdoms that usually took several months to traverse became reachable in a matter of days. Schools were founded and encouraged ‘free thought’, thus setting off ‘scientific discoveries’ merged with magic, which further advanced the human, beastmen and demon societies.

Chersea and Cherwind entered an era of prosperity and sophistication.

At the center of it all were the three saints, Lady Madelaine Ann Rubinforth, who spurred the ‘peaceful’ days of Chersea. Lady Ruro of the Wolf, who guided Cherwind to progress alongside the human realm. Lady Natasha Bellingsen, whose desire for the demons to live in cooperation with humans enabled the ‘Chersean Golden Age’.

There were still conflicts, mostly rebellions and petty quarrels, between the nobilities, but those were quickly put down. In retrospect, those were only minor hiccups to an otherwise harmonious age.

“…”

So much was the peace and prosperity for everyone, that an idea came to one of Lady Madelaine’s advisers one day…

“Your Holiness, I believe we should celebrate and honor your achievements during your rule,” the adviser told her. “I mean, eons of war and several generations of saints later, this is the only time that humans and other races finally decided to live in peace.”

“Lady Sarasa, while that idea is nice,” Lady Madelaine continued on her meal, “I think we should rather spend our public funds and energies on charity work, as my holy office demands.”

Hmm…Your Holiness,” it was Lily, “though your dedication to your responsibilities is admirable, I think there’s no harm in celebrating success, even if it’s only for a while.”

Eh, Lily, let’s get real here,” the Human Saint countered, “All of this is not possible if not for the help of the other saints. So, if we’re going to celebrate, they should do it too!”

“You’re just making an excuse, Your Holiness,” the Head Maid pointed out, with a sardonic smile.

“I’m not—”

Oi, Maddie, don’t use us as your convenient reason for being a prude!” Out of thin air, the Beastman Saint—along with the Demon Saint and the Saint of the Flame—appeared. “Heh, good thing Natasha saw your plans earlier, so we rushed here.”

“Don’t lump me with you, losers,” Seirna muttered. “Unlike you, I’m actually doing my job in protecting this realm and the others! Why should I come here too? Besides, the humans and demons fear me.”

“And I prefer to be left alone in my experiments, Ruro,” Natasha added. “I just told you about Maddie’s party in one of my visions, that’s all.”

Tch, you prudes!” the Wolf Saint defended her actions, “Look, after all the hard work we did to fix Chersea and Cherwind, I believe we deserve some fun, you know? Seirna, we’re well aware that everyone hates you, but since you did your share of hard work coercing kings and presidents to abide by the Saint’s Peace, I guess it’s not bad to take it easy sometimes. And same goes for you, Natasha! Don’t hole up in your den; come out and party for a while! Otherwise, you won’t meet a hot guy in your whole life!”

“Like I need them,” the Demon Saint countered.

“Says the one who reads magazines with lots of half-naked muscle men,” the Saint of the Flame wryly added, to which Natasha had no answer. Ruro burst out laughing, much to the Demon Saint’s irritation.

“I hate to break it to you, Ruro,” Maddie, trying to get them back to the topic, reiterated, “but there’s no party.”

“My vision says you’ll eventually organize one,” Natasha insisted, suddenly changing gears. “So, drop the prude act and let’s celebrate, Maddie!”

“Hold on, Your Holiness,” Lily entered the conversation. “I thought you prefer to be left with your experiments?”

“Hey, Ruro already dragged me here, so I won’t waste the opportunity,” the Demon Saint stretched out her hands, as if she’s been working to exhaustion.

“So, what will you celebrate then?” the Saint of the Flame asked.

Silence echoed throughout the breakfast table as everyone’s eyes fell on the Human Saint.

“I…” she panicked for a second, as she struggled to come up with something good. “Uh…hmm, you think we can do away with an exhibit?”

“Of what?” Seirna, who was bored, followed up with a question.

“An exhibit, Your Holinesses?” the adviser, Lady Sarasa, rejoined the talk. “I suggest we showcase the achievements of each race you govern.”

Oh! That’s a good idea,” Lily backed her up, “We can exhibit the culture of everyone as well, so that there will be a greater understanding between us!”

Hmm, not bad!” Maddie smiled. “Actually, I love those ideas! Let’s organize the first-ever Humanity Exposition then!”

“Ahem…” the Beastman and Demon Saints aired their protests by clearing their throats.

“R-Right,” the Human Saint chuckled, slightly embarrassed, “And the Beast and Demon Expositions as well!”

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So, with the Human Saint finally decided, the preparations for the expositions promptly began. The organizers agreed to open the fairs after a month, for the Beastman Saint was impatient to wait for a year, which was originally suggested by Lily. Though rushed, the concept that everyone would celebrate with the exhibits made the people excited, and soon, there were a lot of ideas put forward, and copied by all.

Of course, as it was a ‘realm-wide’ festivity, invitations were sent to the leaders of both the Beastmen and demon races. The main accommodation for them would be the guest buildings of the Holy Palatial Gardens, so the Human Saint ordered its cleaning, though it had been well-maintained even before that.

“Your Holiness,” it was the maid, Eris, “you think you can sell these paintings of yours? I mean, these are beautiful and all, but here, these masterpieces would only gather dust. And really, our corridors are already filled with artwork, too.”

“Well, I’m thinking the same, Eris,” Maddie admitted. “All of these paintings I accumulated for six years, I guess we can get more money for it to give to charity.”

“You surely are always thinking of our welfare,” the young maid smiled. “I appreciate you for that, Your Holiness.”

“I try to live to expectations,” the Human Saint pointed out.

Eris fell silent. That time when she nearly caused harm to Maddie during the Amaranthine Civil War crossed her mind. She was just glad that she was forgiven, and was accepted once again by the Saint’s household service.

“…” Though, there was one question that always bugged Eris’ mind.

How did we escape the rebel and the legionnaires who have surrounded and are pursuing us back then?

It’s a matter that bothered her, for whenever she tried to remember, it’s as if there was a gap—a noticeable blank—in her memories. Eris also asked the head maid about it, but Lily had the same condition. A dark blot. An empty spot in all the scenes they try to recall.

Ah! Eris!”

“!!!” The train of thoughts in the young maid’s mind stopped when she heard Maddie called out to her.

“That…That painting!”

Eris was surprised at her mistress’ reaction the moment she laid her hands on a certain canvas. It was an oil painting of a man. Though everything in that artwork was done with delicate care and thought, it was unusual compared to all the Human Saint’s masterpieces, for it was unfinished…at least, the face. The young maid asked her, “Your Holiness, you don’t want to dispose this?”

Maddie shook her head, “No, don’t do it. That painting…we can’t possibly sell that.”

“Well, yes…?” Eris took a quick glance at it, “I was thinking of just throwing it away, since this is the only artwork you never finished for six years.”

“Yes, I know,” the Human Saint reiterated. “But I don’t intend to throw it either.”

Oh, so you wanted to finish this, then?”

The Human Saint sighed before continuing, “Look, Eris, yes…I want to finish that painting. However, I just can’t.”

Eh? What do you mean? This isn’t…err…His Majesty the King of Nerfes, Simon II?”

“Definitely not!” Maddie blurted out, hiding her red cheeks, “I…I mean, his marriage proposal doesn’t even exist six years ago.”

“Right…my bad, Your Holiness,” Eris put down the painting and covered it once again.

Silence then reigned between the two, as the Human Saint and the young maid both took their rests. As they opened their lunches (which the head maid packed for them), Maddie broke the ice.

Adobo…huh?

“Yes…Your Holiness,” Eris nodded, “This dish is called adobo.

“Eris…I know you’re having it too, but…”

“The dark blots in my memories?”

Maddie didn’t answer; she just continued to eat.

“You’re suffering it too, Your Holiness?”

“Yes…and, uh…

“For some reason, you’re feeling a great overwhelming sadness whenever that happens, no?

“You’re right…” then the Human Saint turned to the painting, “…and that artwork too. It’s as if I’m missing someone whenever I look at that. Lily as well. A sense of warmth and longing…it’s like a portrait of someone we’ve forgotten. But I can’t even remember who!”

“Your Holiness…” the young maid put her arms around the covered canvas, as if to embrace it, “Honestly, this painting…while I’m not exactly feeling what you and Lady Lily felt, for me, I feel secure and confident whenever I come across this artwork of yours. It’s odd, no? Even my parents’ graves don’t compare whenever I look at this. Anyway, personally, I’m glad you’re keeping this, Your Holiness.”

“It’s fine, Eris…” Maddie chuckled. “Oh, and speaking of the blots in our memories, don’t you know that Lady Ruro, Lady Natasha, and Lady Seirna got it too?”

“Really?”

“Yep, even the Beastman Queen, Ursura, most of her ministers, the Demon king-president, Hurion Devras IV along with his entire household, and even all the kings and queens of Chersea suffered from that mysterious ‘blank’. They came to me before, thinking that I can ‘heal’ those spots, but I just can’t do it.”

“And there are events in the past that no one can explain how it was resolved! Like, how did we even arrive at the idea of the calendar and dates? It’s been a mystery to me ever since.”

“That too, Eris!” the Human Saint nodded. “Well, I’m thinking of investigating this phenomenon, but Ruro proposed this exposition, so my time and energies got diverted to something else once again.”

Ah, in any case Your Holiness, we got a lot of time to think about those later, once the exhibits are done,” Eris winked at her, and finished her food, “For now, let’s prepare these rooms for our guests.

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