Chapter 23:

Lost

Dreams of Reality


27th October 2456


       I've been having a rough time sleeping for the past two weeks or so. I always wake up at night, at the same time. I always have weird dreams. If I remember correctly, I am always on a roof of a hospital, very high up, and I feel like I am going to fall. What is this? It always makes me feel disturbed.

       I think everybody has a not-so-pretty dream sometimes, but to experience the same ones over and over... it feels unnatural. I tried to find what it means on the internet, but I couldn't find my answer on something so specific. Can it mean something? If yes, then what? These questions were running through my head ever since.

All this reminded me of what was happening to me a month ago. 

       I honestly don't know what to write about, or how to put the recent events in words on paper. Even though I haven't noticed anything weird with me, I am thinking about it. All the time. I still feel like there is something wrong. But I can't find it. Everything is changing, or there is something I have never seen or experienced before. I am asking myself why, why now? All of sudden. Is it just because I am getting older and it's inevitable?

       Maybe I should do the good old trick of writing about what happened in these past few days to clear my mind. I still can't comprehend that Alan likes Shara. Since I know him, he was the type of guy who would say that dating is a waste of time and that it all ends the same.
       
       You might think that he got his heart broken once and gave up on everything, which is completely fine, but I've known him since kindergarten and that never happened to him. He must have formed his opinion based on what he saw on the internet.
     
       To see a guy like him fall into something that he hated and swore to never try is rather... funny. People indeed change. He will have it rather tricky if he tries to make a move. Now he's more viewed as a weirdo. I don't think he is a bad person. He can actually be kind and I think he would behave very differently around her.

       I definitely won't try to get them together or help him in any way. Not that I can, but I would love to see these two interact. I just hope I won't have to listen to both talking about each other like it was the past two days. I can't imagine becoming a middleman between these two, asking me what they should do. I wouldn't be able to do that.
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