Chapter 134:

134. Gushing Hearts

Nexus Awakened (An Isekai LitRPG Gender Bender Story)


Stella was among these people who desperately wished to be free from this hell. It wasn’t until Frost arrived that she understood the concept of happiness. She always believed it to be something she could achieve so long as she obeyed the organ stealers.

That she’d truly be happy if she became a star.

What did it mean to be a star? What was a star? She knew that it was a light. Maybe a person or an object that people looked up to for guidance, like Leitmotif. She was told by the fish man that true happiness came from becoming a star.

Stella hugged her knees. The horrible sounds of despair surrounded her in a cold, ceilingless cavity. Many others resided within, waiting for it all to end. The promise of freedom and a painless life wasn’t something she understood.

She never really knew what laid beyond her bubble.

Stella brushed the tips of her fingers, remembering the texture of those painted stars. Even though she knew they were fake, they felt more real than any other star she was told to reach out for.

And now that she had reached it, Stella no longer aspired to become a part of her city’s nights. She had been chasing them for as long as she could remember, because if she didn’t then who would come and help someone as helpless as her?

Stella was a guide for many. But now that everyone else could guide themselves her purpose was lost. While the others could enjoy the sight of the stars thanks to their sight, she was still enshrouded in the darkness of her own world.

“Shut your ears. Don’t cry. It’s scary, right? It sounds like the world’s going to fall apart. Can you feel this? I’m holding your hand. We’re right here. All of us are right here.” Aster cuddled beside her, embracing Stella as the cracks of war broke beyond their protective walls.

Stella couldn’t begin to imagine what it all looked like. How many more places were destroyed? How many more people were lost? Some of the voices of the friends she knew were no longer present.

Aster held onto her hands; her warmth made known to the girl as the others huddled around in their little corner. They munched on their apples and kept each other company. As the only bunch of aspiring stars, aside from the fish man, they only really had each other to rely on.

Aster was like their mother in a way. She was the eldest and the most comforting even if she was a little insensitive at times. Not that Stella cared. She never pitied herself or felt sorrow that her eyesight was missing.

This was all normal to her.

But to the people who came from above to save them their suffering was unacceptable. It never clicked with her until it was pointed out. The twisted variant of happiness, which had been indoctrinated into them by the Monkey Brothers, was absolute.

“Stella. It’s ok! We’re going to get out of this and become stars of the night sky! Be strong!” One of the younger children exclaimed, trying to raise her spirits.

“The best stars! So people won’t get lost or lose their way!”

“Big stars just like that giant light!”

“Yeah!”

“… U-Um. But I don’t want to anymore …I’m sorry. I don’t want to become a star.” Stella was ashamed to admit.

The others didn’t judge her. They didn’t laugh or ridicule her. Stella, as a child herself, knew how cruel other children could become.

But instead, they huddled closer to her. They understood why she felt this way. The blind could not guide those that could see, and for the first time Stella realized that she shouldn’t be chasing for stars out of her reach.

Rather… Stella was now content to watch them, and to keep these people within reach. The heart-to-heart they had was unexpected, and they were not the only ones who opened their hearts to others. Something compelled them to gush, however abrupt or gentle it was.

For them, their gushing seemed a little more natural than the rest.

“Then we’ll be stars for you!” One of the children proclaimed giddily.

“Yeah! Stars! For you!”

“We’ll still always be around for you even if you can’t keep up!”

It felt like a thousand hands fell onto hers. The texture of the star she touched in that painting felt like all of their hands. Stella silently cried in their embrace, happy that she at least had these stars of her own within reach.

The fluff of their regenerated tails and ears made it all the more heartwarming for her.

“It’s ok if you want to gaze at stars. You can be a stargazer! Our stargazer! That way you’ll never be lonely!”

“She can’t see idiot. Stella can’t stargaze!”

“Then we just have to keep holding her hand!”

They were honest, as were the countless voices that surrounded them. It was all chaotic to Stella. But she was happy that she could at least touch what she believed was the light in her dark world. Their warmth wasn’t anything like the twin angels she met; but she never complained.

Stella’s aspirations were so simple that it could only be summarized by:

“… I don’t want to be alone… U-Um… Thank you. Everyone.”

Their unity was a warmth she vowed to never forget. Every voice was memorized since the day she met them, and their heat so distinct that she could tell them apart from others just by pointing her nose in their direction.

Was this happiness? She wanted to know. In the end, Stella could only cry as she smiled and hugged them back, hoping for the best.

“We’ll be your stars, Stella. So don’t worry. We’ll always help you.” Aster stroked her hair fondly. “So listen to our voices. We’ll always… Always be with you. Because you were also there for us when we couldn’t see.”

“You were always a star in our eyes!”

“Yeah! So it’s ok for you to start relying on us now!”

She was eventually lulled by their comforting words. Amid the wails, the cries, the confessions, and the sound of war; Stella wished that this moment would last forever.

But deep down she knew that it couldn’t. Things had to change. It hurt her knowing that she tried to attack the lady to keep things the same, but at the same time, that lady was hurting everyone.

What was wrong and right? Everyone looked like the bad guy from her perspective.

Stella didn’t want to remain comforted by consoling lies anymore.

Even if things were painful, she would at least understand the world beyond her eyelids a little better.

She hoped, from the bottom of her heart, that things would turn out ok.


* * *


< [Gushing!] >


< “Desires were a trap. All they’d do was ponder and dream but never act on it. They told the world of their ambitions and left them to hold their breaths until the end.” >


The Corrupted enemies grew stronger with each layer they infiltrated. Frost shot them past the dark clouds and took on whatever Breathless Corrupted stood in their path, devouring their stats to further fuel her ever growing power in the face of their impenetrable nemesis.

As they waged war and clambered into the city’s heights, they were suddenly inflicted by an abnormal pain in their chest. It felt like someone had plunged a knife into their hearts, and the elapsed seconds twisted it as they unanimously cried.

“AAAAGH!?” Frost unconsciously gripped her chest, as if impulsively attempting to pry her heart out. The sudden wave of desires battered her heart for seconds. “I-I hate this kind of pain!”

“Let me get the hell out of here already –! H-Huh!? Why did I just – FROST! The hell is going on with us!?” Cer shouted in shock.

The Corrupted had caused not only her, but the others to spontaneously spill the contents of their hearts out for the world to see.

“L-Let me destroy you monsters for messing with our bonds! AND FOR MAKING ME SHOUT!” Ber roared.

“I don’t want to see any more people lose their lives for no fault of their own!” Res screamed. “What kind of manipulation attack was that!?”

“I need to help! I have to help them!” Jury chanted.

“Heal. Heal. Heal. Heal… HEAL!” Poena cackled.

“Save… The people… Who were just like me…” Ignis uttered through clenched teeth. The only person unaffected was Bhodie; who they dragged along the elapsing layers.

The plan was to send her off into the 6th layer and begin the evacuation process from the top to bottom. It’d be faster that way. The spillover from the top would act as a sort of domino effect.

Although the question was whether the Corrupted monsters would be able to stop all of them.

Then, it was a matter of finding the Train Core against an invulnerable Leitmotif.

“The effect was not Heart Wrench. It was Gush! Heart Wrench seeks to quell a person’s heart, whereas Gush causes uncertainties to arise. That does not appear to be the case with you all, however.” Nav revealed as various Suppressors, Depravers and the Breathless had their hearts suddenly explode from within their chests; firing shrapnel into all directions.

The explosions of gore and red mist infected those within its proximity, causing their chests to swell and explode. It created a disastrous chain reaction that solely targeted everything but the Instruments.

The world was painted red.

Frost avoided them at all costs. The effect was highly localized and seemed to only occur within their proximity. They were undoubtedly being targeted. She had to wonder if it was the doing of Leitmotif as the Corrupted’s host, or if it was the Corrupted itself.

“… We’re being bombarded by all these effects that toy with our hearts. If we had just a semblance of RESIST then it wouldn’t be that big of a problem!” Frost shouted. “Be careful! It’ll get stronger the closer we are to it!”

“Let it try to mess with us!” Cer growled, biting all that stood in their way as they breeched through the 2nd, 3rd and 4th layer in mere minutes.

No amount of Shattered Dreams and Gushing were going to stop them in their tracks.

Each layer was significantly smaller than its predecessor, and the Instruments were given different roles and titles. The 2nd Layer Instruments were named Baritone. The 3rd Tenor and the 4th Contralto. The names were unfamiliar to Frost but Nav seemed to understand what these names meant.

They were the names given to the 6 different vocal ranges. This made perfect sense in the context of Leitmotif being a musician focused on vocals. Naturally, the following 5th and 6th were bound to be Mezzo-Soprano and the Soprano.

But what about the desire aspect of the Corrupted?

Maybe, as the host of the Heart of Ours, the Instruments were a manifestation of his own desires. To impose his heart onto them for his…

“Your acknowledgement. I cannot believe that’s your reason.” Frost gruelingly groaned. “Is that what the Heart of Ours does? It unifies people unwillingly to the host’s selfish desire? I don’t even want to imagine just what kind of past caused this Corrupted to arise in the first place!”

“Civilization’s woes. The Archivist remembers a portion in history; when Atlas first rose. Where people of differing desires were brought together. It may also very well be a reference to the Ateliers themselves when they first emerged.”

… Does she know the story behind it?

“Partially. The series of events are skewed, and the torn pages of her memories are disordered. But the Ateliers, and even the Hearts themselves function the same, no? One must remain indifferent to the Hearts. Likewise, one must follow the philosophies of a Beholder when acquired by their Atelier.”

But Unwilling Unity? Shattered Dreams? Gushing? I can understand Beaten Desires… but not the rest.

“Such is the mystery of the Corrupted. I believe that you WILL come to understand them.”

I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Frost ended up smiling through her heartaches. They zipped through giant archways made of collapsing green brick, and black strongholds housing countless more of the Corrupted monstrosities.

Her fine motor movements, if it could even be called that on the macro scale, were impeccable. Her strive to keep as many people as possible alive was a source of inspiration for the Moons, who found it difficult to fathom Frost’s power.

She was stronger than they were, but weaker than the Beholders. Blessed like the Moons, Stars and Beholders were unable to interact with the world due to their destructive strength.

But Frost defied this imbalance of power and death to help save them.

“Galia was like that. Just like you. Except you aren’t a snake.” Cer muttered.

“I hate that you came 30 years too late.” Ber stated unexpectedly.

“If you attacked Paradise, then I’m sure plenty of the innocent lives would’ve remained on that night.” Res said, envisioning a different version of the Paradise Lost event.

This may as well be the same thing.

But instead of killing everything in sight, Frost sought to truly save them; not grant them some perverted version of salvation. She wondered how she was able to hear the voices of the triplets despite the vast distances that separated them.

It seemed like their emotions were being transmitted through her tentacles, and the Gush Condition only continued to grow as they breeched into the 5th layer, clambering over the wall like a gargantuan colony of golden tubifex worms.

Fear was always the first emotion that struck the Instruments. Their resistance imposed on the Suppressors, and their conviction caused the Depravers to stagger where they stood. It was the Breathless and the exploding hearts that cared little for their strive.

Their act of self-destruction sought to bring Frost and her companions down with them.

But it would take more than that to bring down a Moon, let alone the others who were poised to become so much greater.

Like Jury; the Aspiring Beholder.


< “One by one we wondered on our starless nights. Our woes of the missing stars angered them, because they told us not to believe in what doesn’t exist.” >


< [Collective Leap] >


Frost should have kept these thoughts locked away. The Corrupted launched another attack upon them as if in response to their collective hope. Fragments of the shredded, exploded hearts began to float into the sky like a reverse monsoon.

They amalgamated into hundreds of massive moons, each more than ten meters in size. That, combined with the black shadows and the pulsing attack of Beaten Desires made it appear as if the world itself was on the verge of ending.

It smothered the light of the false star, and then, in one swift motion, the giant lumps began to free fall, as if they were snipped free from their invisible strands.


< “Stories circulated about our few stars in the skies. They said that they were ghosts of the past. Unbeknownst to us was how true those stories were. We collectively reached for dead stars.” >