What's Going On Here? (II)

Date: 15th day of the 11th month of the Year 5894 of the Unified Calendar
Location: Fae Continent, Northern Hemisphere, Terra, Tav Universe

I really need to invest in getting better weapons for the whole family, Gato thought, hoisting one of the farm’s pitchforks over his shoulder and walking on his way. After all, the only weapons we have on hand are improvised weapons, like this pitchfork that I have on hand, or the weapons the bandits earlier today had left behind. What am I going to do?

As he walked over to the granary, he began envisioning what he needed to say to the bandits to get them to stop their thieving ways. He hoped it would work, but he was a real beginner at this. He didn’t know what he was going to say to the bandits, but it was something that he needed to figure out. Stuff like “put the food down and walk away” sounded stupid to him, but it was worth a shot.

He continued toward the granary, which was at least fifty meters away from the barn. He needed to hurry and get this over with. Let’s see what these two have stolen so far. I need to make sure that we get our property back to us somehow.

While he walked, he saw that there were a few animals missing, like some of the sheep that needed shearing, the only rooster on the farm, and a few of the hens. Thankfully, none of the cows were stolen, nor were the pigs.

How did they pull this off? It does not make any sense whatsoever… my head hurts.

He got little opportunity to think on that subject, because by then he had reached the granary. I need to be careful…

Standing outside the granary door, Gato quickly looked around to see if any other thieves were visible. He then heard Fernando and Frederick again, this time in the granary.

Here we go… no being stupid with bandits, Gato thought to himself. After all, what sort of moron parlays with a bandit while living on a property that the bandit is currently robbing?

“So, the food we need to lift from this farm is all in the granary?” Fernando asked.

“Yeah,” Frederick said. “First, we need to carry as much of the produce as possible, and then…” He grunted as soon as he said that. “How much do these carrots weigh?”

Hah! I am glad that the thieves found out the hard way how heavy the produce actually is. Now that is one less thing to worry about.

“How about you try one of the other baskets of produce?” Fernando asked. “I mean, who in their right mind would artificially increase the weight of the produce when everyone seems inclined to let those ghosts dictate what needs to be done?”

What is Fernando talking about? What ghosts?

“I will lift a basket of tomatoes, then,” Frederick said. A few seconds later, he added, “This is not good at all… the tomatoes are also too heavy!”

“Did you try lifting an individual tomato, to see how well that would work?” Fernando asked. “You might want to try that.”

“I will do that, then,” Frederick said. After a few seconds, he said, “It is the produce that is at fault for being so blasted heavy. There is no other way around this!”

“Mind if I try?” Fernando asked.

“Knock yourself out,” Frederick said.

I hope that they do not decide to take our grain supplies… Gato thought. The last thing his family needed was for the grain to be stolen, as far as he could tell on that subject. It wasn’t like it was a commodity that anyone and their grandmother had access to, right?

“Hey! These baskets are heavier than they have any right to be!” Fernando’s yelling brought Gato back from la-la land.

“Now do you see what I was trying to say?” Frederick asked. “Now we need to figure out something else to steal… I know, what about the grain?”

“Is that on our agenda of things that we need to grab?” Fernando asked.

“Yes, that is correct,” Frederick said. “Let me see, here… I wonder which grain would get us the best bonus from our boss?”

I have a bad feeling about this line of discussion, Gato thought, dropping his head. What next? Are they going to talk about how they stole the animals?

“Hey, so, what else is next on the list of things to steal from here?” Fernando asked.

“We need to steal all the dairy cows, plus all the sows and their piglets,” Frederick said. “Then again, why this farmstead has nothing like roosters or wool-laden sheep is something that I have no clue about.”

Back up… what did he just say? Gato stuck his head in the doorway and looked at the thieves incredulously. I thought that they’d stolen the animals already…

The first thief that Gato saw, who he guessed was Fernando, was as thin as a twig and wore leather armor over his green tunic. He also had a dagger strapped over his armor and at the small of his back, which made Gato raise an eyebrow.

What the… why is his dagger at the small of his back?

His companion, who Gato thought was Frederick, was full of bulging muscles. He couldn’t tell if this one had armor or not, but he knew that the man had a sword in hand, held in place over his right shoulder.

This is bad. I know that I am nearly impossible to injure properly, but I can still be killed stopping these thieves… so why am I so calm?

“Why do we need roosters and wool-laden sheep, Frederick?” The second thief asked, confusing Gato.

Wait… I thought Fernando was the thin guy?!

“Simply put, Fernando?” The first thief asked. “Our boss does not need roosters and sheep. He is after something much bigger. Truthfully, he is building a financial empire, starting with farm materials that any true farmer would want to keep safe. Thus, he plans to undercut the prices of all the materials that farmers need.”

Ugh… this is not good.

“I am kind of surprised that our boss has this empire in the works, to be honest,” Fernando said, grabbing a bag of barley. “I mean, what is his overall goal for the empire?”

“How should I know?” Frederick asked. “All I know is that the boss wants to build a financial empire that will control the economies of the entire world. He is beginning with agriculture.”

“That is good for him, but what about his employees, like us?”

“We need to be patient. He will reward us immediately when we return, most likely with a dozen gold pieces each for everything that we stole from this farm.”

“I hope so,” Fernando said. “I mean, I do not know about you, but I wish to be compensated for the amount of work that I end up doing for the boss. How many gold pieces did he promise per individual item, exactly?”

“If I recall correctly, the amount of gold he promised is based on how many farmsteads we as a group have robbed,” Frederick said. “I think the pay is something like a dozen gold pieces for every farmstead that we end up robbing each night on average. Does that sound good to you?”

“You can say that again,” Fernando said. “I love being one of the best bandits of the local bandit gang.”

“That is something we both love about the work that we do,” Frederick said. “Nobody can stop us, not with the backing that we have from our boss, who hired our gang to rob the farmsteads completely dry.”

As he heard this, he thought to himself, I have heard enough. Gato walked into the granary, holding the pitchfork in his hands. “Why are you two nimrods stealing from my family’s farm?!”

“‘Urk!!’” the two thieves froze, before slowly turning to face Gato. Upon seeing him, though…

“Hey, kid,” Frederick sneered at him. “Should you not be asleep in bed?”

“Yeah, you need to forget this ever happened,” Fernando said, waving a hand at Gato in a slow, deliberate manner.

Gato blinked. He couldn’t be entirely sure, but he felt Fernando was trying to manipulate his thoughts. What is that idiot trying to do? Gato thought to himself.

At that moment, a second box appeared within his field of vision, to join the one that had never gone away.

Frederick looked at his buddy. “I think it is working splendidly.”

“I know, right?” Fernando grinned, looking like a cat that ate the canary and drank the cream in one go. “Come on, we need to get the food supplies over to the boss immediately.”

As they continued to grab the food from the granary, Gato willed the boxes to move out of the way of his line of sight. Much better… “Hold it, you idiots! Put the food back where you found it and walk away!”

Frederick and Fernando stopped in their tracks, each of them about to carry out a bag of grain, when they heard Gato’s declaration. “What the…?” Fernando asked.

“I thought your power was impossible to block?” Frederick looked at his partner with a raised eyebrow.

“It is!” Fernando looked back at Frederick. “I do not get what is going on here!”

Maybe it is something to do with me? Gato thought.

“Okay, jokers, listen to what I have to say to you,” Gato said, pointing the pitchfork at the thieves. “Either you stop the burglary right now, or you face my wrath. Which will it be?”

The thieves looked at Gato, then looked back at each other, before nodding. Turning to face Gato again, Frederick drew his dagger from behind his back at the same time as Fernando pulled his sword from over his shoulder. “Go to hell, boy!” Frederick declared.

“Option two it is.” Gato shook his head. “Come get me... if you dare!”

At that, the two thieves charged at Gato, before Frederick stopped in mid-step and threw his dagger at Gato.

Gato quickly caught the dagger with the tines of the pitchfork. He saw Fernando was about ready to strike with his sword, which Gato somehow blocked by directing the dagger toward his opponent.

The dagger was obviously magical: it could spin forward from the pitchfork, heading straight for its new target. The longer it was in the air, the more speed it seemed to gain, which meant that it struck idiot Fernando in the left shoulder.

“Gah!!” Fernando cried out, dropping his sword as he tried to pull the dagger from his shoulder… with no success.

What the… how did that happen?

“Why, you little…” Frederick growled. In the heat of the moment, he completely forgot about the special qualities of his knife and picked up the fallen sword. “You are going to regret that!” With that, he charged at Gato, attempting to swing his friend’s sword at the young teen.

Gato blocked Frederick’s sword with his pitchfork, and the two weapons locked together. As the two of them struggled for dominance, neither could gain an advantage.

Gato felt his muscles burn ever so slightly from the battle that was taking place. But, as the fight continued, it seemed as if his muscles were getting stronger.

Wait, what is happening with my muscles, anyway?

“You little brat,” Frederick said, “What have you done? I can not recall my magic dagger to my side!”

Is this guy for real? He just openly admitted that he used a magic dagger!

At that point, the disembodied voice from earlier spoke up. “Is that really a sin?”

Yes, it is! Also, can you not distract me from this fight I am in for my life?

“I hate to break it to you, but your perception of time itself is being sped up immensely for the time being.”

What are you talking about? Wait a minute… what is going on with the bandit that I am fighting?

Indeed, Frederick was moving at such a ridiculously slow pace, it was as if he were a statue. However, that was not the only thing that was going on. Gato began to experience a cold flash all over his body. His vision blurred ever so slightly. Was this the effect of time speeding up?

“Now that I have your attention, young man,” the voice said, a hint of smugness in her tone, “we need to talk about how you — no, not me, you — are going to handle this.”

Wait… why me? What exactly am I supposed to handle at this time? Did you do this to me before, when we first talked?

“To answer your questions in reverse order, and to give you some clarity as to what you need to do when it comes time, yes, I sped up your perception of time when we spoke for the first time. I did that in such a way that you were unable to notice initially. However, this is going to be one of few times we will be having these talks while we’re like this, with you over there and me where I am. It’s just that simple.”

What about when —

“Let me finish answering your earlier questions, then you can ask me anything else, okay?”

Fine…

“Thank you. Now, to explain what you are supposed to handle, there is a massive threat headed in your direction from afar. It is numerous, it is larger than life, and, worst of all, it is a special kind of evil. It literally wishes to enslave and corrupt the different realities that you are to become familiar with. Does that make any sense so far?”

No, it does not make sense. How can there be more than one reality in life?

“I literally am talking to you from another reality right now, young man,” the voice said in what Gato could only guess was a deadpan expression, given how dry the response was. “I do not mean any of the afterlives of these respective realities, either, nor the primary afterlife of your home universe.”

But that goes —

“If I may finish?”

Ugh… sure, go ahead.

“Thank you. Now, it is up to you to take out this threat to all reality. You might think that your normal life is all there is to live for, but there is a whole lot more to it than that, more than you can ever imagine if you stay in the confines of your home reality.”

That still leaves my first question of this topic… why me?

“Because of your massive potential to grow as a hero.”

My what? What the devil do you mean?

“I mean, I scanned all the realities that I could to find a suitable hero to save everything, and you meet all the requirements. Will you be that hero that everyone needs?”

I have to help out at my parents farm, at least before I hopefully join the army in the next couple of weeks. What is preventing you from finding someone who meets those requirements better than I do?

“The fact that — ugh… you know what? You have one more chance to say yes to my offer. However, at present, I cannot allow you to blow that chance because of false teachings that have corrupted your land. I will be back when it is more likely you will say yes to my offer. Do you have any unrelated questions to ask?”

Actually, I have two. First, why was Andrew able to hear you just fine yesterday afternoon? Second, how long will this sped up perception of time last for?

“First, that was because I finagled the system you now have to let him hear me. You will get a thorough explanation of that later, I promise. Second, do you mean in your mind, or do you mean real time?”

Both.

“Okay, well, the effect will only last for a small fraction of a second in real time. In your mind, however, that will be for as long as you are willing to talk with me.”

That makes sense… thank you for answering my questions.

“Not a problem. Now, I would suggest you kick this bandit where it really hurts when you get a free moment. Could you do that?”

Er… sure, I guess.

“Thank you. I better get going. I will see you when we both have a moment.”

Okay—hey, wait a second! You still need to explain why you say that magic is not even a sin!

At that point, however, the struggle against Frederick continued. “Whatever could be the matter, kid?” the bandit asked, sneering at him. “Are you thinking of surrendering to us?”

*THWACK!!*

Gato struck Frederick in the family jewels with his right foot. That had better be where I needed to kick him…

“That… is a low blow…” Frederick rasped out, having dropped his friend’s sword to clutch his genitals.

“Hey, when living on a farm, you can not expect me to fight like a nobleman, now can you?” Gato smirked at the look on his foe’s face. “Now… how are you going to explain this to your boss?” Before he could continue the questioning, however, Gato saw Fernando crawl over to get his sword, so he ended the threat by swinging the pitchfork in the thief’s direction. “And just what do you think you are doing?”

“Uh-oh…” Fernando gulped. “I will be good!”

“There we go…” Gato said, a Cheshire grin on his face.

Frederick growled. “You bastard! I hope you rot in the depths of Hell for this!”

“Hey, that is my line!” Gato felt his eyes twitch in anger. “Do you not know that using magical anything is a one-way trip to Hell, on top of all the thievery that you and your buddy have committed?”

“Are you kidding me? Those ghosts know nothing of the truth of this world!” Frederick bellowed out.

“What do you mean, ‘ghosts’?” Gato asked, as he raised an eyebrow.

“Those so-called Divine Spirits, you lout!” Frederick snarled. “In fact—”

“What is going on here?”

Gato turned to look at the speaker. “Ah, Captain Bruno of the town guard! Thank the Divine Spirits of Nature that you are here!”

“Gato, son of Alexander, right?” Captain Bruno asked. “Is this your family’s property?”

“Yes, it is. What brings you here?”

“I started my dawn patrol early today, and I overheard shouting in your granary, so I came to investigate because there have been reports of thievery on the local farms. You may have found the source of the problem. Now, could you please explain what is going on?”

“Yes, sir,” Gato said. “For some odd reason, I awakened tonight, and thought I’d better get take care of some chores. I started in the house, and, after cleaning a really dirty dust rag and finishing dusting the inside of the house, I was about to do something that was not fully decided on when I heard these thieves here talking outside the house about robbing us of our food.”

Captain Bruno pinched the bridge of his nose. “Is that when you started fighting them?”

“No, sir. I stealthily followed them here to the granary after getting my pitchfork from beside the barn and waited to hear what they were going to do. Then I entered the granary and challenged them. I even tried to get them to surrender the food they were robbing from us, but to no avail… they struck first.”

“Very well, Gato,” Captain Bruno said. “I will take these louts into custody in Alfheimwood. Could you please come by soon to give a fuller testimony of what happened here?”

“Certainly, sir.”

With that, Captain Bruno took the two bandits with him and left the farmstead property, and Gato sat on a bag of grain, reflecting on everything that had just happened. I could have died, he thought to himself. I am very lucky to be sitting here without having gotten injured in the fight this time… and yet, why am I so calm about it all? I mean, did that disembodied voice have something to do with this enforced calm? He gave off a scoff. I guess I will have to wait for finding the answer to that. I am not going to hear from her for quite a while, not if I can help it, at least.

After a few minutes, he got up and resumed doing his chores, something that would help him ease his mind from what he had to deal with already at this early time of day. He didn’t want to have anything to do with magic, which was strictly forbidden by all the Divine Spirits of Nature, thank you very much. He liked having his soul intact, as it was written that magic tears at a person’s soul. He didn’t want to test that out on himself, no sir. He was not stupid enough to do that at all.

Wait… why do I suddenly feel foolish?