No Matter What

Saturday, July 6

Rays from the hot summer sun beamed on Ellie when she opened the front door. Even with sunscreen on, she felt her face and bare arms sizzle under the heat. By contrast, the cool air in the living room beckoned her, telling her it was not too late to stay inside for another day or two. But she quickly resisted the urge and stepped outside. There was no way she would waste another day stuck in her room.

“Going somewhere?” called her mom from the door.

“Just the mall.”

Her mom joined her and shaded her eyes from the sun. “Don’t need a ride?”

“I think I can manage.” Ellie peaked into her wallet and counted the coins she saved. She frowned at the amount that she estimated was only enough for the bus and train ride to and from the mall. She was not looking to buy anything significant, but she wished there was just a little more for a drink.

“In that case, why not take these?” In her mom’s hand was a twenty dollar bill and orange card.

Once in a blue moon, Ellie received either five or ten dollars from her mom. At most, it was enough for an iced drink from Beans Cafe. Sometimes she saved the cash to let it build up overtime and allow her to purchase something larger than a drink.

So far, this was the highest amount she had ever received. With a transit pass on top of it, Ellie pictured all the opportunities she can use it on. All the things she could never buy before seemed within her grasp. There were so many, it was like a new world opened in front of her eyes. “Thanks, I guess,” she said calmly, even though she was screaming inside.

“I figured it’s time you learned to manage money,” said her mom. “And from the coins jostling in your wallet, I think you’ve done a good job. So, how about a deal? Every weekend, you receive twenty dollars from me or dad.”

“Is there a catch?” said Ellie. She tensed herself in preparation for the most difficult rules of her life. Something that makes masters of financial management cower.

“You can only use it for food, drinks, school supplies, and your new transit card. Easy enough?”

Ellie relaxed her shoulders, “You’re kidding me, right? It’s not like I spend it on anything else.”

Her mom smiled and clasped her hands together, “There’s more. Any evidence I find of you misusing your allowance gives your dad and I the right to take it away.”

“For up to a certain period, right? Like, a week or two?”

“Forever,” she corrected.

The pressure was on again. For the first time in her life, she could finally collect YuYu albums and all the accessories she dreamed of decorating her room with. But by doing so, it may leave her with nothing for food and other essentials, or risk her parents ever finding out if she were to go outside the boundaries.

Ellie soon realized that what her mom gave was not a twenty dollar bill, but a challenge to see how well she could use it responsibly. Happily accepting this test, she stuffed the card and cash in her wallet and headed for the bus stop.

Wednesday, September 4

A cool breeze carrying the savory aroma of barbeque blew by Ellie. She slouched on a bench by the basketball courts where, at a far corner, hot dogs and hamburgers were sold under a pair of red tents.

Extending from below the tents was a long line-up that formed along the perimeter. Despite the length of the queue, it moved at such a pace that it shrunk to half its size in five minutes.

Ellie watched the line move and desperately wished she were a part of it. As the hunger in her grew, she started to wonder how this day came to be.

The morning began with a rough awakening from her mom and the blaring alarm clock set to the song “Memories to You” by Unreal. It was supposed to always go off at seven AM at the highest volume possible. But for reasons unknown, it played an hour later, and left Ellie about thirty minutes to prepare before she had to leave.

After a kind reminder of the time by her mom violently shaking her awake, combined with Jun’s charming vocals, she rocketed out of bed. Before she knew it, she finished a quick shower, threw on her uniform, and dove into the car like a football player making a touchdown.

About ten minutes into the first period, time slowed to a crawl. Because of how rushed the morning was, there was not enough time to eat breakfast, let alone pack food for the day.

As the hours went by before lunch break, the droning lectures and endless writing drained her energy to the point where she could barely remain conscious. To make matters worse, the lack of food made her stomach rumble like it was a car engine starved for gasoline.

Just when she was about to doze off, the tolling of the bell gave her such a scare that she gained a temporary boost of energy, as if she was given an invincibility item from a game.

On the way to her locker, an announcement came from the P.A. system that said, “Attention, everyone: The annual ‘Back to School’ fundraiser is back and tastier than ever. Hot dogs and hamburgers will be sold at the outdoor basketball courts. Come get ‘em while they’re hot.”

“Hamburgers…” Ellie’s mouth watered. Using whatever energy she had remaining, she threw her books into the locker and raced outside.

A sizable queue formed from the tents, and Ellie skidded to a halt at the back to claim her spot. She leaned to the side and watched the front gradually get closer.

From what she could see, there were a pair of folding tables, one of which sat Nora, vice president of the student council. The table beside her had rows of chips and soda cans ready for the taking. Considering how hungry Ellie was, these extras were happily welcomed.

Upon arriving close to the front, she noticed a sign by Nora with writing in large black letters. “HOT DOGS and BURGERS = $5. CHIPS AND DRINKS INCLUDED.”

No problem, Ellie thought and peaked into her wallet.

Two dimes and a quarter.

No way. She dug through the pockets of her skirt and blazer, confident there was spare change somewhere.

“Next,” called Nora.

Ellie’s search became frantic. When she found nothing in her pockets, she checked the little flaps in her wallet and behind the transit pass, hoping that enough coins to make at least five dollars were hiding somewhere. But it was not long until she noticed she was next in line.

She looked up and saw Nora sorting what looked like over a hundred dollars worth of coins and bills in a metal box. Staring at it made Ellie feel like the only kid in school who was broke.

“You either got the money or you don’t,” said Nora. From the tone of her voice and the half-open eyes, it seemed to Ellie like she did not want to be here.

“I don’t, but you think you could let me go just this once? It’s just five dollars. One less wouldn’t hurt, right?”

Nora took her eyes off Ellie and called the kid behind her, “Next.”

“If you give me a sec, I think I have-”

Nora raised her voice, “Next!”

Ellie stepped out of the line and watched it proceed as usual. While everyone took a bite of their meals, she staggered to a lone bench and sank in defeat she felt.

A bead of sweat poured down Ellie’s forehead. She lifted her arm to wipe it, but winced at a slight pain that pulsed from her elbow. She inspected her arm and found a black and purple bruise no larger than a quarter. It must have formed when she smacked it on the corner of her desk after she slipped on a fallen sock. Note to self: Definitely clean my room later.

Ellie yawned at the drowsiness she began to fall into. All that time she kept herself awake really took a toll on her, she guessed. It will be a while before the third period, so shutting her eyes for a minute would probably do no harm.

She leaned back on the bench and basked in the sun’s warmth. The hissing of wind blowing through the trees, and chatter from kids grew distant the further she fell into slumber. For once in the day, she was ready to let it all go.

But her peaceful rest was interrupted by a dark silhouette that appeared above her. The stark contrast between the shadow and the bright sky made it difficult to discern any details. Was it an angel who came to take Ellie’s soul?

She felt a nudge on her shoulder followed by a voice that called her name. It sounded an awful lot like Kate. They say someone’s life flashes before they die. Maybe it was normal to hear voices of people she knew?

Suddenly, a sharp pain erupted along her shin, like the tip of a shoe struck her leg. Ellie cried out and shot up from the bench. She hopped on one leg while she rubbed the other. When she looked up to find out who the culprit was, she saw Kate with crossed arms.

“What’d you do that for?” Ellie yelled.

“Had to make sure you were alive,” said Kate.

“I am now.” She returned to the bench as the pain on her shin ebbed. “What do you want?”

“What do YOU want?” Kate snapped. “You said you needed help.”

Ellie’s stomach growled. “Right. Got anything to eat? Maybe even five dollars?” She pointed at the tents. “Those burgers smell so delicious.”

Kate sighed, “You’re outta money?”

Ellie had the words at the tip of her tongue, but what came out was a soft whimper. The only response she could give was a nod mixed with teary eyes.

“Of course.” Kate grabbed the distraught Ellie by the arm and led her inside.

***

The mixture of fruits, nuts, and oats tasted like heaven packed into a granola bar. Ellie bit into the snack like it was her first meal after weeks of trekking a desert. “So good…”

“Savor it, dude. It’s my last one.” Kate propped against a locker with a binder and pencil case in her arms.

Ellie tossed the wrapper into a nearby garbage bin. “Thanks again. I swear I’ll pay you back soon.”

“I think you have more to worry about than some granola bar.”

“Don’t remind me,” Ellie groaned. “It’s not all bad, though. I get my allowance this weekend, but I don’t know if I can wait that long. I heard Artstash is having a sale this friday, and I saw these YuYu pens I really want. Here, I can show you.” She turned on her phone and skimmed through her Instagram.

“Here we go again,” Kate laughed. “Maybe if you didn’t spend all your cash at once, you could have pulled yourself out of that mess earlier.”

“I don’t spend it all at once. Only when I absolutely need to.”

Kate showed Ellie a photo of the keychain and sticker she sent yesterday. “Like how you absolutely needed these?”

“They’re collector’s items,” said Ellie. “Besides, after today, I officially learned my lesson. Once I get my allowance, I’m gonna be super frugal with it. It’s like you’ll be seeing a whole new me.”

“Uh-huh, keep telling yourself that.” The bell rang, and Kate pushed herself from the locker. “What’s your next class?”

“Phys Ed. with Mr. Flynn too. I’m so dead.”

Kate patted Ellie on the shoulder, “It was nice knowing you.”

“Very funny. I still owe you one, by the way.”

As Kate left for class, Ellie headed to her locker and dreaded the upcoming pain she will soon experience at the gym.

***

Ellie stumbled into the house, followed by her dad, and let out a heavy exhale at the relief of finally returning home. In the living room, she found her mom at the coffee table typing away on a laptop.

“Hi honey,” she said, looking up from the device. “How was school?”

“Could be better,” said Ellie. “You’re home early.”

“I was visiting clients all day. I just happened to be in the neighborhood for my last one, so I thought I’d work from home.”

“Lucky. I wish school was the same.”

“It’s not as fun as you think it is,” her mom laughed.

As Ellie went up to her room, she remembered the clothing that was left scattered on the floor since yesterday. Given that she did not have a lot of homework, she hurried to the door to start cleaning immediately.

She entered her room, ready for a hard day’s work. But rather than encountering the aftermath of a storm, what she found was a room free of clutter. There was not a loose shirt anywhere in sight, and her blanket and pillows rested neatly atop the bed.

Ellie approached the desk and, just like the floor, it was spotless, apart from her laptop that sat in the middle. She opened each drawer, and found her CDs organized neatly in piles. Inside the bottom drawer, her pencils and figurines were stored in their own cases.

Happy that there was one less problem to handle, she sank on her chair. With the amount of time freed up, she opened her binder to begin her homework.

Before she put pencil to paper, she spun around to gaze at the cleaned room again. But rather than admire it, a question came up that disturbed her to the core: Who was responsible?

Her dad was at work all day, and she was with him on the way home. Maybe everything from yesterday to now was just a nightmare? What if there was never a mess in the first place, and she was not on the brink of death at school? She was about to believe that possibility until she saw the YuYu keychain dangling from her bag.

Unable to think of anything else, the only suspect that remained was her mom. Upon arriving early, she had the opportunity to clean her room from top to bottom. She must have put away all the fallen clothing, organized her desk, and most likely saw the poster behind the door.

Which meant she saw everything.

Ellie’s stomach dropped, and the panic she felt was higher than before. Secrets she tried to keep were now in the open.

She paced in circles to think of a plan; anything to remedy the upcoming doom. The easiest thing to do was to keep quiet and pretend nothing was out of the ordinary. But come the weekend, what will happen if Ellie asks for her allowance? What if her mom just silently ended it?

Her breathing grew heavy. She grabbed a corner of the desk to keep herself from falling over. There had to be something she could do, but she needed time to think.

Suddenly, there was a knock on her door. Knowing who it was, she tensed and stood straight as a stick.

“Do you have a minute?” said her mom.

Ready to face the inevitable, she approached the door slowly and opened it ajar. She poked her head through and found her mom glaring down at her with crossed arms. “Do you need something?”

“Just checking in.” Her mom placed a hand on the knob and nudged it open. “I understand you don’t want me in your room, but I think today’s an exception.”

Ellie pushed against the door, “Can it be tomorrow instead? I have mountains of homework, and-”

“So you can hide more of those toys?” She interrupted.

Ellie’s face grew pale. Without hesitation, she lessened the force she applied to the door and opened it. When her mom walked in, she closed the door and looked up and down at the poster. She shook her head and glared at Ellie with the same eyes as before. “Go on. If you have any explanations, now’s the time to say them.”

Ellie took a few seconds to find the words before she spoke, “Fine, I’ll admit it. I broke the rules for my allowance. But I still used it for what we agreed on. Isn’t that enough? I just bought a little bit extra along the way.”

Her mom pointed at the desk, “Those CDs didn’t seem ‘a little bit extra’.”

“Okay, I get it, I messed that up too. How about as punishment, my allowance is decreased? I’m fine with five bucks per week instead. Heck, every two weeks is okay too.”

“Haggling won’t get you anywhere.”

“I could do more chores around the house. Heck, even buy groceries and cook-”

“No means no, Miss. Coleson,” her mom raised her voice. “You broke the rules that we both agreed on. Starting now, you can say goodbye to your allowance.”

“Just not forever, right?” Ellie asked. “Maybe until one week or…”

Her mom walked out the room, “I’m not repeating myself. If you’re so desperate for money, then figure out how to earn it.”

After the door shut, Ellie dropped onto her bed and breathed a long, heavy sigh. “Now what?”

***

After a dismal hour of homework and studying, Ellie spent the rest of the night on her laptop. She scrolled through an endless list of job postings suited for high school students. Of the hundreds she came across, there were a few that caught her interest; simple jobs like a shelver for the library by the local marketplace, and crew for an upcoming festival in the fall. The rest were cashier jobs for fast food diners and shops.

“What’d you get for question 2 again?” said Kate from a video call on her phone.

“Sales Associate for that anime shop?” Ellie whispered to herself. “Guess I could give it a shot.”

“Ellie, you still there?” called Kate.

Startled at hearing her name, Ellie picked up the phone, “I’m here. Sorry, just looking at a bunch of jobs.”

“Gotcha, welcome to the grind,” said Kate. “Got any leads?”

“Not much.” Ellie clicked on another listing and skimmed through its description. “Three years of experience? Give me a break.”

“Don’t you have a resume?”

“Just that one I did for Miss. Powell’s Writing class. All I have on it is volunteering at a church back in eighth grade.”

“Right, I remember that,” said Kate. “What’d you do again?”

“Clean tables and mop the floor for some Christmas lunch or something. What else…” Ellie paused and stared up at the ceiling.

“Sounds like my job,” Kate laughed. “How about skills?”

Ellie opened the resume and read the Skills and Talents section. “Math and Photography so far. Not sure what else I can add.”

“I got one: Financial Management.”

“Don’t make me come over there.” Just before Ellie picked up her phone to hurl every comeback under the sun at Kate, it vibrated at a notification from YuYu’s official Youtube channel. She tapped the message and opened a video titled “Across the Stars Tour Announcement.”

Meanwhile, Kate continued, “Anyways, I think you’re off to a good start. You just need to build it, and-”

“Hold that thought,” Ellie interrupted and played the video.

It began with a montage of clips from YuYu’s past concerts in Japan, starting with her debut in Yokohama Arena two years ago. The background music was a slow orchestral version of her first single, “Escape.” Ellie recognized the opening notes enough that it immediately hooked her in anticipation of what’s to come next.

When the montage ended, so did the music, and what followed was a mass of blue and white sparkles that formed the words, “My journey across the stars… Start here.” Ellie held her breath after the text dissolved to a black screen that lasted for three long seconds. Then, without warning, a new set of text appeared.

Los Angeles, CA, USA - Microsoft Theatre - February 7

Ellie gasped. She paused the video and stared closely at the screen to make sure her eyes were not deceiving her. Unless Japan has its own Los Angeles, this will be YuYu’s first time ever performing overseas.

The next location appeared when Ellie continued the video.

Seattle, WA, USA - Climate Pledge Arena - February 8

“No way.” Ellie rubbed her eyes and smacked her cheeks to wake up from the dream she must be in. She blinked a couple times and expected to wake up to her alarm the next time she opened her eyes. But when her cheeks grew sore, it was enough to convince her that what she saw was real. Seattle is at least a couple hours away. If she still had her allowance, she wondered if her parents would be convinced to drive her there. Her heart raced as she anticipated the final venue.

Vancouver, BC, Canada - Rogers Arena - February 9

Ellie put the phone down, hopped around the room, and squealed, “Yes yes yes yes!” In the middle of her cheering, Kate’s concerned voice called her name, but she ignored her.

With the sudden adrenaline rising in her, she opened the tour's website to find tickets. It opened to a seat map of the arena that was separated by two oval rings and a rectangle in the middle. Each oval contained thousands of seats, and their prices rose based on their proximity to the stage. The rectangle in the middle were the floor seats, which were the closest to the stage.

Ellie clicked on each section, starting from the outer seats to the middle, and her jaw dropped at the prices she saw.

Outer seats - $400.00

Middle seats - $600.00

Floor seats - $900.000

She had never seen dollar amounts so high in her life. With the mere coins she kept in her savings jar, and no other source of income, it felt impossible to reach.

“You good, dude?” Kate asked, slightly annoyed.

Ellie, shaken awake from her despair, sent her a link to the tour’s website. “No, I’m not.”

There was a moment of silence between the two before Kate muttered a low “oooh,” then looked at Ellie. “You’re gonna do it?”

Ellie nodded. “I need the money. And I’ll get it anyway I can.”