Chapter 8:

Chapter Seven: The Purple Vegetable in the Meat Tray

Why Can't I Pick Up Girls?


From the beginning, Hoodah was orphaned by humans. Humans had found his small tribe and murdered everyone except him. Only because his mother’s body managed to protect him from the assault. When the grey trolls heard about what happened, they scurried to see who they could take advantage of in the wake of this tragedy.

To no one’s surprise, they didn’t find anyone alive they could use. However, a troll woman by the name of Xia had been assigned to scurry through the huts to see what they could take - and she found Hoodah instead in one hut. Or what remained of the hut.

At first, Xia was unsure if she should report this. She could just leave the baby there and let it die with its mother. Or she could kill the baby as mercy - let the youngling be with his mother in the stars. But she decided against that.

When she found this baby, he wailed and cried and was hungry. Xia had recently lost a baby of her own - her awful husband at the time killed it and she killed him in revenge. She was never punished as they, both the tribe’s chief and shaman, felt that her baby dying was punishment enough. They still had use for her.

Xia never married again but at that moment, she thought the stars gave her another chance to raise the baby that never got to live.

But this baby is purple, not the grey little one she lost. And yet, she couldn’t turn away. She couldn’t leave him there.

She shushed the baby wailing as best as she could. Already, she grew attached to baby Hoodah - the name she chose for him. When the search leader found them, he sighed and told her that she’s going to be more cursed than she already was. Xia didn’t care.

This is what Xia told Hoodah before she died when he was 18 years old. There wasn’t a real big difference between grey and purple trolls - if anything, it’s just the color of their skin and possibly the color of their hair. That was never the issue with the tribe - their skin was another tool to hunt better, after all.

Cursed, they whispered about Xia, that she was cursed and she brought on a baby to curse along with her. Sometimes, other trolls Xia’s age and older would mutter their faux worries to Hoodah as he grew up but every time he brought it up to Xia, she always told him to ignore them - they were jealous. They would never have a son as great as Hoodah.

Xia raised Hoodah to the best of her abilities by herself. Other trolls in the tribe seemed to avoid the couple but Xia never let Hoodah feel alone. She worked hard to feed him but she worked the hardest to make sure he knew that she loved and adored and, more, accepted him as her son.

Hoodah did make some friends with the other younglings but once they started to grow up and learn survival skills, they pretty much did their own thing. Hoodah did his best to fit in and even work with others. The issue wasn’t so much that he couldn’t do anything - he could survive, after help from Xia, and he was a competent hunter.

“But I always felt that I wasn’t part of them, somehow.”

Not even a month after Xia passed away, Hoodah was expected to be the lookout for a party. Apparently, some human travelers who came a little too close to their territory. Hoodah initially refused to join the party but they used his grief against him. That was their ace in the hole - if Xia was still around, would he still be weak like this?

In his grief, they put Hoodah in charge of the lookout. His yellow eyes can better see in the dark while his purple body could blend in easier with the brushes they had settled at. He was a competent leader, at least enough to hold the lookout team to set up but the team fell apart eventually as the humans never moved. Days turned into weeks and into nearly the next month, each one of the lookout team members seemed to move on and focused their efforts elsewhere - other humans came and tried to attack the tribe.

Hoodah was always told to stay there to watch them while the other trolls took care of the attacks. While he watched the settlers, he noticed that they seemed to do a lot of groundwork. They didn’t seem all that violent. Sometimes the men would bring in some animals but they always used every part of the animal - the meat for food, hide for clothing, bones for other things, and other parts as medicine for when they got sick. It intrigued him but he never left his spot.

It did annoy him that his comrades forgot about him eventually. At first, he was okay with it because it gave him more time to observe but at the same time, they used to drop off food for him as well but lately they haven’t been doing so.

From what he could tell, no one seemed to notice him because he managed to blend in almost too well with the different colored flowers way on top of the hill he sat on. It was the perfect spot for Hoodah to go back to any time during the day to go back to the village. Others tell him to forget about it but he enjoyed these moments alone.

The humans didn’t bother him as long as he didn’t make himself known. And then there was a beautiful human girl. He had seen the heads of humans as any other troll back at the village. However, this human seemed like she had a different kind of heart. Her hair was the color of roses and it was long as it was sure. He couldn’t tell how pretty her eyes were but Hoodah always saw human men trying to talk to her and she always handed them a basket full of things he never saw before.

Then he saw a human man take it and eat something brightly orange. He seemed to enjoy it as he gave her a big smile and she gave him one in return.

It was strange to Hoodah because they were all different shapes and colors and when he was curious enough, he realized that some of them came from the ground. How can anyone eat things from the ground? Wouldn’t that be disgusting? But they didn’t have a bit of dirt on them, did they? His eyesight was good, but it wasn’t that good. He understood that at least with meats, one would have to wash it before cooking it and eating it. He understood that the animal’s body had more uses than just it’s meat. However, why would these humans not constantly eat meat?

Hoodah found himself asking multiple questions as he observed these humans. They didn’t act like the humans he attacked. Every time he attacked a human, he always felt that he was taking revenge for the atrocities that they committed against him - Xia’s death was caused by an old wound by a human. In his eyes, Hoodah was taking revenge not just for the mother who used her body to protect him, but for Xia.

And yet, and yet, Hoodah couldn’t stop questioning about these particular humans. He originally hated them with a passion but the more he watched them, the anger turned into bitterness to curiosity.

Even accepting his curiosity, he knew he couldn’t go up to her and ask what it was. But then, could most humans understand the troll language besides basic words like ‘attack’ or ‘get them’? Probably not. But he still couldn’t stop his curiosity and every day, he tested himself as he slowly got closer to them.

Hoodah knew he had to be careful as he climbed down the mountain to be closer to the humans. He knew he couldn’t reveal himself to them - it’s dangerous for both himself and them. He didn’t want to alert the humans someone like him, a purple troll, was around. And at the same time, he didn’t want the trolls to think he’s easing in on them so soon - he’d call it ‘information gathering’ or ‘intel’ to make it simpler for them.

Instead of doing it during the day, he decided to do it during the nighttime. He’d go into that rose woman’s hut - well, it’s way larger than a hut - and look around it as it seemed that’s where she was pulling those things from.

During the day, he was rather impatient so he decided to count how many humans there were in this small human settlement. They certainly were brave to live in these woods - but they were pretty close to where they would get drinkable water. It’s too bad Hoodah and his party would eventually have to get rid of them all.

Once it was dark, he waited to make sure all the fires in the bigger huts were out. Then he would wait maybe a few more hours to make sure that they all slept in their beds. There’s no sense in making noises around someone when they’re trying to sleep. Even though he’s meant to be a look-out, Hoodah found his talent in sneaking around and being able to hide his presence. That’s a trick that Xia taught him while she taught him how to survive and how Hoodah managed to get away from enemies, and even other trolls.

It didn’t take very long for him to make it to the settlement. The larger huts seemed to be way taller than him but then again Hoodah had always been on the shorter side. It was here he took a better look at the settlement itself. There seemed to be about four or five taller huts and they seemed sturdier than what he grew up in. Simply put, he was already fascinated at the settlement before him.

He walked around and could feel his bitterness grow - but towards the trolls. He was surprised when he started to think about how much better life would be in these sturdy huts. It wouldn’t be as cold. When he placed his hand, his dirt-covered nails, against the sturdy hut and realized it was made out of wood instead of cheaply made materials they would find and replace. Complicated feelings arose once again and he swiped it. It was then he realized that the noise might’ve been a bit too long.

He stepped back and waited to see what the reaction would be from this particular hut but when nothing happened, he was super relieved.

Hoodah continued his journey around the settlement and took plenty of mental notes; most notably, the tools that were left outside. He had grown up with some crude tools and realized that others in his age group, a little older and a little younger or so, tried to create new tools and were promptly ignored for the usual way. The usual way… the usual way would be for Hoodah to attack the humans on their own even though they would easily outnumber him.

But his main goal was to find out where that food came from. Even though he knew that trolls are meant to eat meat, he couldn’t stop himself from wanting to find out.

It took some time but eventually, he found the plot of land and what he believed to be the red-headed woman’s hut as she was the one who sold them. To confirm this, he peeked inside the large, wooden hut and saw even more tools and other things that filled the large hut, and still had room to spare. He was fascinated by it but realized that he didn’t have that much time left - either to meet up with someone from his team or in case a human decided to walk around with their guns. The latter, he didn’t want to meet with for any reason.

Once Hoodah realized he wasn’t going to see the red-haired woman, he decided to explore the backyard of the larger hut. He could always see her from afar and for now, that was okay with him. They were never meant to be, after all.

Soon, he made it to the back and saw a couple of taller, smaller wooden huts and rows and rows of sown dirt with grass on top of it. While his eyes helped him see the dark, the brightness of the moon and the brightness of the stars seemed to be extra bright that night. Was that Xia watching over him? Was that his biological mother? Or even his fallen comrades? Whoever it was, they guided him right to this. He saw the grass poking out of the ground and his curiosity got the better of him.

From the little experience with tracking he had, he managed to pull up most of the plant and sniffed it. It was orange like what the man had earlier. It smelled dirty and it smelled… interesting. It certainly didn’t smell like anything he’d ever eaten before and decided to handle it with his own hands. He saddled the plant around and tried to play with it until he heard a door close.

Hoodah froze in his place and dropped the strange plant and immediately ran away. He didn’t know who it was behind him - he just knew he was in a bad spot. He ran away. He never actually turned around to see who it was behind him. As far as he could tell, he was just something in the dark. Something purple that hung out in a place where he probably should have - for human or troll.

When Hoodah finally made it back to his original spot, he took a look behind him finally and saw that the settlement was still dark. Nothing seemed out of place, as far as he knew. He panted from his sudden burst of energy and tried to collect his breath. And yet, he still noticed that he didn’t have the strange plant in his hands anymore.

He gave up. There was no way he could go back to get it back. The only time he could go back was during the day - but he couldn't go back to the human settlement in the daytime… It’d be way too risky to go there just for that strange food. In the end, he decided to just stick with his decision to give up.

And instead of going back to the human settlement or even the troll back, Hoodah decided to sleep in the forest where he was. There weren’t any animals. There weren't any humans. There weren’t any trolls. Worst of all, there weren’t any stars.

When he lied down, the ground was cold as it was dark as the forest he’s in. He shivered but he tried to sleep. He shut his yellow eyes but the rocks dug into his skin and the dirt did not have any warmth to share.

He couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night so he decided to go into the forest deeper. He kept walking and walking deeper into the forest until the trees blocked everything from the sky. He could still see, that wasn’t the issue. The issue was that his loved ones who once guided him to that strange plot of land couldn’t see him even still. The deeper he went into the forest, the more isolated he felt.

Sleep didn’t come easy at all. When the sun broke through the trees, that was when he knew it was daytime. He could feel so exhausted and, to pretend he did his job at all, decided to go back to at least that spot. Maybe he could think of an excuse - the humans were rowdy, the humans this, the humans that. Whatever excuse he’d fall on, maybe he could sleep.

And yet he was surprised once again when he got back to his spot, he saw a basket. He would’ve been hesitant but in his sleep-deprived mind, he didn’t think about it as he approached it. Hoodah grabbed the basket and saw that there were a variety of different colors - reds, orange - both long and round, brown, and purples. He saw that attached to the basket was a letter. When he tried to read it, he found that he didn’t recognize any of the squiggles.

However, before he could do anything, he heard his name being called by one of the trolls but he didn’t turn around. His body was weak. His body was hungry. His body was tired. Whatever sleep he did manage to get, it wasn’t enough.

“Hoodah,” the leader of the party grunted. “What is that you got there?”

Hoodah was surprised. “Ah, Hyptu,” Hoodah grunted back. “Oh, I don’t know. I think one of the humans left this up here. Do you know how to read this?” He lifted the letter in reference. Hyptu grabbed as he gave an affirmative grunt. The bigger grey troll didn’t seem to say anything as he read and probably translated it in his head.

The purple troll had learned as he grew up that only the major raids allowed a translator - trolls that could understand both the Trollese and Lopkien whenever ‘negotiations’ would occur but it was to translate humans’ communication and to use it against them.

“What does it say? What does it say?” Being the smaller troll always, Hoodah wasn’t a stranger to try to jump up to see what Hyptu was reading. His long brown hair, which was tied up, also prevented him but eventually, Hyptu pushed him away.

“Ugh,” he grunted with an annoyed grunt. “Fine. Let me translate this letter. I don’t know why you want to know but…”

Dear Mysterious Friend,

My name is Camilla and I noticed you dropped your carrot last night after I came out of the outhouse. I’m so sorry I scared you! I don’t know why you wouldn’t come down here with us - we’re very welcome to outsiders! If you’re a witch, I trust your magic is for peace.

Here are some fruits and vegetables from my garden. Unfortunately, I don’t eat meat as I’m a vegetarian. I managed to grow them in the garden with the help of my brother. If you do decide to come down here, then you can meet him and he can help you get settled.

May you have many blessings!

Yours Truly,

Camilla

Hoodah was surprised at the very kind message this ‘Camilla’ had left him. It’s easier to say that he was surprised by the fact she was so willing to give him a portion of her food. He wondered if this Camilla and the red-haired woman had some sort of connection but before he could think about anything else, Hyptu balled up the letter and threw it on the ground.

“So, they’re welcoming outsiders. This explains why this particular human settlement always seemed too busy for our liking.” He didn’t miss a beat. “Hoodah. Prepare to go back to the tribe. We need to wipe out this settlement swiftly.”

“But--”

“Are you disobeying me? Bajin had already given me the order to lead the attack. She only sent me to send you home since this settlement is so small. You’re smaller. You know you’re not very good in battle.” He grunted to illustrate his point. “Now, just do what I say and you’ll be fine. After all, the Great Xia adopted you for some reason. Don’t disappoint her.”

The phrase ‘Great Xia’ always had venom to it - it was a fake title they gave Xia because she was so ‘cursed’. Even though Hoodah was a decent hunter, they always used his size and his adopted heritage against him. And this fell into place with the norm.

The purple troll stood there as much as he could before he could see Hyptu getting more and more irritated. He didn’t want to test the bigger troll’s anger even more.

So, he went back towards his tribe.