Do You Know Kidney?

It was only natural. The whole building was lined with Kidney memorabilia, info plaques, and all sorts of other trivia. How they’d actually compete over it was anyone’s guess.

Kyla was trying to get in touch with her boyfriend, who she’d lost track of some time ago around the Safari area, hoping the two of them could meet back up in the center of the park. With her eyes on her phone, she didn’t see the kid approach her until he was right up in her face.

“Ex-excuse me ma’am?”

“Gah!”

She nearly dropped the electronic, fumbling it about her fingers before finally grasping it and facing the young man. Rob was still smiling in an attempt to be cordial, but at worst it was mostly just fear-inducing.

“Would you spare us a moment of your time? I’m very sorry, you see- but we need someone to read off trivia questions for… let’s say, the next five minutes?”

He sounded just as annoying as he looked, but she noted the expensive brand-name vest he had on.

“Of course.” She first obliged, before her condition came swinging down more gently than it otherwise would’ve. “I can humour you for a thousand a minute.”

Rob squeezed his lips like he’d just sucked a lemon, looking over to his two challengers awkwardly waiting on him. Was he really about to spend even more just to compete with these girls than he’d planned to pay them? Yes, he thought. Absolutely. Worrying about money was a sad thing to do, and he wouldn’t have even a second of the lowly experience.

“Ah, yes.” He composed himself. “That’s fine by me. Very fine. Please, just open your phone to some online quiz or something. The harder… the better.”

He glared, grinned, and giggled at his soon-to-be opponents.

Gathering in a corner where they would not bother anyone besides the woman Rob had hired to do this boring job, the challenger hung his bright vest on the only nearby info display, hiding it like a teacher during a test.

“Last chance to take the money.” He teased. “I’ll have you reminded, I’m probably one of the biggest Kidneyheads in America.”

Frankie couldn’t think of a comeback, so she just sat there with her sister on the nearest bench. The two let him stand. Kyla did the same, but she was too anxious to sit anyway, still looking away from her phone, over her shoulder to see if her partner had yet arrived.

“Open the quiz, servant.” Rob shook with anticipation.

“Excuse me?” The woman shot in offense.

“Ah- er- sorry. I’m sorry. Please open the quiz, ma’am.” Rob shook with embarrassment.

“Oookay.” Kyla recited with such little emotion you’d think her heart was left behind in the Safari zone with her boyfriend. “First question, what was Kidney’s first animation pro-“

“Ooh!” Rob burst, frightening everyone in a twenty-foot radius. “It’s Clocks. Easy one, easy one. Sheesh. Phoo-wee. They’d better get harder. I’m gonna get bored.”

Not knowing or caring herself, she typed the answer on her screen to be met with a sharp buzz and a display of red.

“Wrong.” Kyla monotonically stated.

“What- but- but that’s his first one! Back in the Summer of 142 BNG, when Walter was only twelve years old, he took whatever crude illustration devices they had back then, and, and on the back of a newspaper, he-“

“Uh, sorry. Here it says it was “The Gnome” in 134.”

It was hard to tell if Rob was desperate or infuriated. Maybe both. He looked like his ears were going to blow smoke.

“That’s- not factually correct! Sure that’s the one everyone knows about, but-“

“Sorry. One point for team bench.” Kyla didn’t actually know any of these people’s names.

“Yes!” Katie pumped her fist, like they’d had to do anything yet.

“That’s not how it works either!” Rob complained. “Five minutes- listen, we ONLY get points for getting ones right, not when the other guy gets one wrong!”

“Yeah, nice try. I’m not keeping track of that.” Kyla blankly gave. “My game, my rules.”

Rob itched at his fuming head.

“Okay. Okay. Whatever. Don’t think for a second I can’t still beat you girls. Just wait. Just you wait.” He laughed. “What do you know about Kidney, anyway?”

“I’ve seen Plastic People fifty times!” Katie proudly proclaimed, shooting her hand up.

“You take as long as you want being a sore loser, dude.” Frankie yawned. “We’re in the lead, after all.”

Rob grit his teeth.

Less than four minutes remained.