Visit

       That illness weaned me off for a week. Thankfully I got healthy on the weekend, on Saturday to be more precise, so I had a full week off. Only one thing keeps me away from being very fortunate in these past few days. On the exact day, when I finally feel better, my parents must come up with the idea that we will visit our grandparent's graves.

       I would rather not see it, don't bring it up again. For our own good. I don't dare to say anything against their idea. It probably is still a very sensitive topic for them, and saying I don't want to go would make them mad at me. Let's hope it won't take long.

       After a few hours of waiting for my parents, we finally went there. The cemetery is quite far away, but we still walked to get there. That's 30 minutes more invested than I wanted to. As we were walking, I was wondering what we will even do there other than lighting a candle. Stare at it for a minute and then turn around and go back? Maybe tide it up a little if there is something that should not be there?

Again I won't ask anyone for obvious reasons.

       It was very close to what I thought. We lit the candles, my mother moved with a few things and we stood there for a while. I would lie if I said that I didn't get a little emotional. Standing there made me realize that there are some things only my grandparents could provide, and my chances to experience them are no longer available.

       This feeling of hopelessness and emptiness struck me so hard out of nowhere. I don't even know how to describe it. I wanted to see them again and do some cool stuff again like we used to. But I can't no more and I can't do anything about it.

       Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened they say. It's the best way to think about this situation. Probably.

"We should go," my father said after standing there for some time. Nobody uttered a word, like those robots we began walking towards the small gate to get out of the graveyard.

       It was silent the whole time. I wonder what we looked like, walking down the street, not saying anything. And who knows what our faces were like. I am not planning to do this again in the near future, but now I understand why people go visit the graves.