A True Fan (1)

The bell rang and it was now break time. My classmates quickly went into panic again about Ai's retirement. Some of them went to the cafeteria to grab some food. The atmosphere was too much for me to handle, so I went outside the classroom.

I always had one place to stay during break time. It was the only place where I could be at peace and not have to worry about anyone. Downstairs, there was a library. It was always silent and nobody bothered to go there. It's the place where I always go to clear my mind.

When I opened the door, the room was completely quiet. The air conditioner was the only thing I heard. One person was in the room.

"Oh, welcome, Nagai-kun."

She was Matsuri Akira, a member of the library committee. Like me, she wore glasses. Her short brown hair showed her bright green eyes. To the students, she didn't look like a library committee member, but just a regular girl.

 "Good to see you, Akira-san."

The reason I always go here was because I was also a member of the library committee. Actually, we are the only people on the committee. Students thought it was a hassle to go to the library, some didn't bother, and some were already in a club, so they didn't have time to read books. It was strange because we rarely did anything. I guess some people just dislike libraries. I chose to be a member because it was quiet in the library. Akira-san always welcomed me and allowed me to stay for long hours without bothering me. It was the place I go to whenever I have intrusive thoughts.

 

"Here to read some books again?"

 

That was partly the reason. I go read books whenever something's bothering me and my mind was just full of Ai's sudden retirement. 

"Yeah..." I said in a feeble voice.

 "O-okay, go ahead." She hesitated before allowing me to go. Maybe she noticed that my voice was weaker than usual.

I went to the far back. The books there were filled with interesting topics. Also, there were a few manga. At the top shelf, I saw a manga titled, "Fluttering Soul". When I went to pick up the book, my hand suddenly touched someone else's.

"Ah."

"Ah."

We both had the same reaction at the same time. Another person went to pick up the same book. It was a black-haired girl with glasses. Hang on, she seems familiar...

When I looked closer my suspicion was true. She was the same girl I sat beside in class. Her looks were exactly the same as that girl's. I think her name was...

"Torimori-san, right?"

"Y-yes."

She answered, looking down. She was Mai Torimori, nicknamed the "silent girl" in our class, as she rarely spoke to others and never uttered a word in the room. This was the first time I've heard her voice. It was kinda cute, and strangely similar to someone else's.

"Ah. Do you wanna read this as well?" 

The situation was turning awkward. The book was too high for her to reach normally since I noticed her tip-toeing. I went ahead and picked up the book to show her. I was willing to let her read it first. I know this library like it's the back of my hand. I always have the option of finding something else.

"I-it's okay. You can have it."

"Don't worry. I'll just read it afterward."

"A-are you sure?"

I nodded and handed her the book. She bowed and thanked me before quickly walking away with the book. I guess she was also feeling awkward.

I went ahead and picked a manga beside it titled, "My Starlight". The book was thin and the cover also seemed interesting, so I grabbed it and went to find a place to read. I went further back to where the seats were. The seats were empty as well. It wasn't out of the ordinary so I was used to it. I went towards the seat beside the window. It was my favorite spot in the room. Unfortunately, it was already taken.

"Ah."

"Ah."

Okay, this was really awkward now. We just picked the same book earlier and talked to each other for the first time and now we even went for the same spot in the room?

"Were you about to sit here?" She spoke with such cuteness and her voice was so gentle. How could I make her stand up after hearing that voice?

"I-it's okay, I'll just sit here." I sat down at the seat in front of the table from where she was.

Finally, I had settled down. I put my bag on the chair beside me and read the manga. After flipping a few pages, I began reading the first chapter. The story was about a celestial being from the stars who had accidentally crash-landed on Earth. The story was good and the art style was decent. Despite that, I couldn't take my mind off Ai.

I tried my best to shake her off my mind by continuing to read but to no avail. Her face was all I could see whenever I looked at the girl in the manga. She didn't even look like Ai and yet her face was all I saw.

Without finishing the book, I closed it. I thought it was useless to try and read when I couldn't focus. I leaned on the table and covered my face with my arms.

I am struggling with how to clear my mind. I'm torn between supporting her decision and despising her for it. I couldn't decide. Though I knew I should accept her decision, I also couldn't accept the fact that she was gone. Of all the V-tubers I've watched, Ai was the one I watched the most. Watching her streams and supporting her from the beginning has been my pleasure. I must be a true fan and respect her decision to retire. A tear fell from my eye and into my glasses as I drifted asleep.

****

The faint sunlight shined on my face, waking me up. Blinking multiple times before my vision was clear, aside from the trace my tear left. Grabbing the handkerchief in my pocket, I wiped it clean. The sunlight was faint. It was the afternoon. I looked at my watch: 4:00 pm. I slept for three hours.

"Are you okay, Nagai-kun?" I suddenly heard Akira-san's voice. Did she come to check on me?

"Y-yeah. I just woke up."

"I see."

I looked behind me. The seat was completely empty. Torimori-san was no longer there. It was the end of classes, so she probably already went home. I guess I should go too.

"Thanks, Akira-san. I'll be leaving now."

"No worries. Come back anytime." 

I grabbed my bag and headed for the exit. When I got out, students were getting out of their classrooms. The hallway was filled with people from different classes.

"Maybe I'll get some fresh air..."

Being in an air-conditioned room for three hours, I needed some fresh air. I headed upstairs to the rooftop. Students would often go there during lunch but classes were now over so there probably won't be anyone there.

A few floors later, I reached the door to the rooftop. I pushed the door open and the wind quickly hit my face. The wind was so strong it swayed my hair. Must have been because the sun was setting and the clouds are going dark. Maybe it was going to rain. I took a deep breath. It was refreshing after breathing conditioned air for quite some time. But the sense of refreshment was quickly replaced with shock as I saw a person at the edge of the rooftop. She was on top the wall and is almost about to fall off. What is she doing there? I shouted quickly to get her attention.

"What are you doing?!"

The girl looked around, revealing a face in shock with tears falling from her red eyes...