A Secret Fan

My name is Akihito Nagai, and I am a third-year college student. To most people, I look just like your normal average person. I didn't look good, nor did I look ugly. Just a regular college student. Except for the fact that I am secretly a massive fan of V-Tubers.

I've seen every single V-tuber there is on the internet. From the indie V-tubers to corporate-owned ones, I've witnessed it all. But there was one who stuck out to me above the rest.

Her name was Ai Kyouka, from the company MetaLive. She was the very first V-tuber I found on the internet. She was the reason I started watching them. Even though I've watched many V-tubers after finding her, I could never forget her, and I would always find the time to watch her streams. Whenever I came home, I would wait until Ai started her stream and would watch her all day. I would listen to her covers and original songs when I walked to and from school. I was probably Ai's biggest fan. Despite that, I've always kept it a secret from others.

I hear something ringing loudly. It was my phone alarm. I grabbed my glasses and looked. It was 6:00 am. I turned it off and began stretching. I stood up and got out of my room.

I climbed down the stairs, went to the kitchen, and began cooking. My parents were overseas, so no one else could take care of the house besides me. I established a routine to wake up early so I have time to prepare for school. My breakfast was simple: scrambled eggs, miso soup, and rice. It was a simple yet filling meal. Despite that, there were leftovers.

I took a bath upstairs. I dried up my face in front of a mirror. My dark blue hair became a mess after I dried it with the towel. With my blue eyes, I looked at my face in the mirror. It was blurry. I put on my glasses back and my vision became clear. I grabbed anything I could get my hands on in my closet and dressed up.

I checked the time. 30 minutes have passed since I woke up. I grabbed my bag and made my way downstairs. After taking the shoes from the tray and wearing them, I walked out of the house.

The college was only a couple of minutes away from the house. I grabbed my earphones from my pockets and put them on my ears. I selected one of Ai's original songs on my phone titled, "You're Beside Me". I started singing the lyrics silently while walking towards school, albeit not similar to her tone of voice.

"♪ I'm not alone, you're right beside me~♪"

I began swaying my head back and forth to the rhythm of the song. I may not sing well, but it became a habit to listen and sing her songs. There was just something addicting to her singing. Maybe it was her voice, or maybe I could feel her emotions through my ears.

After the song ended, the university was in sight. When the next song started playing, I refrained from singing again. I didn't want any of the students passing by to think that I was a fan of V-tubers. Moreover, I thought it would be disturbing for them to hear me singing.

A couple of minutes of walking later and after another song finished, I arrived at the front of the school. Plenty of students were already inside the campus. I looked at my watch: 6:45 am. There were fifteen minutes left before classes started, so students were still out and about, or they were just late.

I headed straight to the front building. When I entered, students were putting their outdoor shoes in their lockers and exchanging them for their indoor ones. I headed to my locker, located in front of the entrance, in the fourth row, and I began doing the same.

After changing my shoes, I headed upstairs to my classroom. When I reached the third floor, I turned right in the hallway. The classroom was numbered 301, located way in the back. When I reached the door, it was already open. Some of my classmates were coming in and I followed suit.

Upon entering the room, most of my classmates were already there. Only a few seats were empty. Seeing that there were only a few minutes left before classes started, it was to be expected. My seat was at the back, one away from the very corner of the room. The person designated to that chair had already sat down. She had long black hair, which was covering her face behind her glasses. She was looking down at her desk. I wondered if she was okay. Suddenly, someone shouted.

"Ai's graduating?!"

My classmates and I immediately turned to where that voice came from. A group of boys were talking in a circle and someone in there just shouted while looking at his phone. Apparently, someone named Ai was retiring. Wait, Ai? Is there someone in our class named "Ai"?

"What? Ai?" A guy in the group sounded confused about what he said.

"Yeah, Ai. The V-tuber Ai Kyouka."

Hold on. Ai Kyouka? Are they talking about the V-tuber Ai Kyouka? THE Ai Kyouka? And they're talking about her graduating? Wait, as in retirement?

"You're kidding!" someone in their group shouted again. Honestly, I wanted to shout out those words myself. Thankfully, they said it before me and I was saved.

"Look!" The person who claimed that shoved his phone into his friend's face. The screen showed a tweet with a picture. After reading the text, his friend's eyes suddenly widened. His mouth was agape. His hands were shivering from what he had read.

"No way... It's true." He was at a loss for words.

I opened my phone and checked on Twitter. I wanted to find out for myself if what I heard was true. My classmates also started doing the same. As soon as I opened the app, the feed was full of tweets about the pink-haired V-tuber Ai Kyouka. The tweets all said the same thing as what the guys said. Ai was retiring. Then, I saw a tweet made by Ai.

It was a statement confirming everything they'd said. It was an emotional paragraph. She was thankful for her fans sticking with her until this moment. Kyouka enjoyed her streams and chatting with her viewers. According to Ai, the stress caught up to her, and she realized she can't do it any longer. It was unbelievable. The final nail in the coffin was that MetaLive announced that Ai's retirement was real and will be effective immediately.

It seemed like everyone saw the same thing as I did. They were all surprised at her sudden retirement. Why would she even retire? She was super popular. She was always lively. So, why? The only one not looking at their phone was the person sitting to my left. She was still looking down at her desk. She was shaking.

"Why did she retire?!" Looks like my classmates thought the same thing.

"Yeah, why?! Did something happen?"

They were all heartbroken. I was no different. As a fan of Ai and suddenly found out that she was retiring, it was difficult to accept. Some, though, didn't just seem sad, they sounded angry.

"How can she do that?"

"Yeah, why break our hearts suddenly?!"

They couldn't accept the fact that Ai was suddenly gone. What made it worse was that MetaLive said that there wouldn't be a farewell stream for her. She wouldn't get the chance to say goodbye to her fans, and that angered some of them. I looked at the comments on Ai and the company's tweets.

The reactions were mixed, but the majority of them were all negative responses. As I scrolled further down, it was full of hate comments, directed to the company and to Ai herself. They were blaming her for just suddenly vanishing from their sight. To most of her fans, she was like their "girlfriend, " and they treated her as their own. Now that she's gone, they act as if someone ghosted or dumped them. To them, it seemed disrespectful.

My classmates couldn't go on and on about Ai as the teacher arrived. The bell rang and classes were in session.

I put away my phone in my pocket. I was somewhat relieved that the teacher came in. The comments people made about Ai were too much for me to handle. As a secret fan of hers, I tried my best to conceal my reaction. Those damn fans were too irritating for me to stay silent about. I thought they were a bunch of...

"...Bunch of fakes."

I tried my best to talk as silently as possible. Thankfully, no one seemed to hear. All except one...