Aratumudd

Smells are the first sensation that make themselves known to me. The smell of plaster and sunshine smells old, ancient even. On top of that the mild aroma of oatmeal and some strange spices. The smell of my body is notable for its absence. A light breeze gusts in from some distant forest, then out somewhere else. All at once the scents coalesce into an incredibly nostalgic fragrance, one of home and safety, a place so familiar the smells are almost not worth paying attention to. The only scent out of place is the creamed joule, I mumble to myself, sleepily “I hope that’s for me”.

Then just as suddenly, my senses fracture and I roll back into unfamiliarity and confusion. Was that me speaking or did someone else say that? Sounds as well now, distant feet on incredibly thick floorboards. More senses come to my attention. My mouth doesn’t taste the same as usual. What? Normally, in between meals there’s nothing to taste. For some reason my saliva tastes different from anything I’m used to.

My spit is wrong.

How the hell did my body make spit wrong?

Why is this bed so large?

Where am I?

Why can’t I see anything? I need to open my eyes! If I open my eyes then-

Calm down, breathe. Looks like I can at least breathe as much as I want. Before I do anything I need to consider my situation. Given how… off everything is, I don’t think opening my eyes is going to make any more sense than what I’m already working with. So let’s hold off on that for now. Aside from how novel just lying here and existing feels at the moment, nothing seems to be actively changing, so for now I’ll assume I’m at least not in any immediate danger. Ok, what happened? What do I remember happening before just now? I think for a moment and a set of vivid sensations wash over me. My vision a dark red haze, searing pain across my entire body, the sounds of breaking bones and popping joints, and an overwhelming feeling of loss and sadness. That is all.

Ok... um… ok, uh… whoa, hold on… um-

The weird smells jolt me back to the present.

How about some positives? I don’t feel any pain right now, Yay! Yay? That agony was either very temporary, very permanent, or I’m loaded up on opiates like there’s no tomorrow. As far as I can tell, my thoughts so far have been pretty clear, maybe a little hysteric, but something something: exceptional stimuli, exceptional reaction. So I don’t think I’m on pain pills. What about that feeling of loss? That’s honestly pretty strange, I don’t remember the last time I had an emotion that strong. Who or what could I have lost to feel that way?

Before I can ponder my circumstances further the knocking sound of a door throws me back into mental turmoil. All my senses align into harmony, but at the same time I lose a sense of agency. Someone or something else is taking over. My train of thought is stripped away and some other entity begins forming thoughts all its own. I feel like someone has taken over playing my avatar in some video game. All I can do now is observe.