Spark

The question on how I found her is one that brings me back. It’s been a couple years now, back shortly after I graduated from high school and picked up that job I’ve been working at ever since.

During that time, I was just some dumb kid trying to figure it all out. I had just moved out from my parents home and found the apartment I now call home. While it feels silly now, those were tough times for me taking that leap into the next step of my life. It was difficult and I had been looking for ways to relax and enjoy myself during the little free time I had left.

So this led me to falling into the rabbit hole of this new trend that had been taking the internet by storm. VTubers. It was a pretty novel concept, taking something that already existed and adding in animated characters instead of just some random person. At this point I had bounced around, enjoying some but never feeling strongly enough to stick around.

It wasn’t until there was an announcement online by the popular agency Nololive that there would be a new idol making her grand debut. Mimie Misumi. I had never seen a debut by one of these talents. Not to mention the time she would be set to begin was a great time for me as well. So I could sit back and enjoy some dinner while I got to see how this new person would shape up.

“I guess you could say I’ve been there since day one.” I finally speak up after my long silence lost in thought. “I saw your debut live.”

“Wow, you’ve been around for that long?” She gets all giddy just hearing it. Though I get it. For someone like her, this is a rare opportunity not many get. “But my debut…” Then she sounds the most downtrodden I’ve ever seen this woman. “It wasn’t good, so why did you choose to stick around?”

She’s not wrong to wonder this. To call her initial stream a mess would be an understatement. It constantly dropped out all the time, freezing and her model even glitched out somehow. Half of it was spent with nothing sounding to us, but with her apparently talking. She would then proceed to apologize only for it to happen again.

Now that I’ve seen the computer she has been running with, I completely get it now. Honestly I’m surprised she hasn’t been sponsored by the company to upgrade her computer.

“I’m nothing special, tons of people stuck around.” I say. After all, she is really popular now. So a disastrous debut didn’t mean she was crippled in growth by any means.

“But why?” She asks again. “I’ve never mentioned it since, but I was so devastated when it happened. It was like I let everyone down.” Reliving this memory has greatly brought down her mood. After everything I’ve seen from her, I didn’t even think she was capable of being this sad.

“…” I’m about to sound cringy, even if it is the truth. “Because you didn’t give up.” I tell her. My body tenses up just some the sheer disappointment those words left my mouth. “You read the chat for the next stream. Everyone was cheering for you when you came back.”

The same went for me too. When I said I had been going through a stressful time in my life, I wasn’t kidding. Yet seeing her bumble through that mess and find a way not to let that hold her back. Something about it inspired me and I’ve been a fan ever since. “I don’t know if I should speak for everyone, but something about the way you handled it in that way Mimie is known for. It’s just something that really resonated with us.”

“So that’s how you all feel about me.” What I say to her brings a tear to Sena’s eye. Fortunately it’s a tear of joy, and I’m relieved that being honest could bring about something so positive to her. Other fans would be jealous that I’ve comforted Mimie, but doing this only makes me more conflicted.

As just as she was reminded of something painful. I’ve been reminded of something that quite honestly changed my life for the better. Yet I’ve been telling myself this whole time that I’m going to stop watching her now that I know the woman behind her. “Oh no! I almost forgot.” She leaps up from the bed and immediately plants herself on her chair. “I have a stream scheduled tonight.”

“Guess it’s a good thing the computer’s all set up now.” I say, realizing that it’s time for me to make my leave. “I’ll be going home now, so… I guess good bye.” I have no plans on seeing her again. Though from the way she acts, I’m sure she’ll be showing up at the store again in the future.

She’s already too busy setting things up with her new computer to properly see me out. I don’t really mind though, I’d say the needs of all her fans are much more important than someone like me. All I was doing was just a simple job she asked of me as a professional. No more, no less.

At least my trip back home isn’t long. All I have to do is take one flight of stairs down to go into the room situated directly below hers. Once I’m back into a properly maintained apartment, it’s time for me to properly relax for the rest of the night now that I’ve finally gotten some free time for myself.

As I boil up some water for noodles, there’s the sounds of stomping that I’ve grown accustomed to since most of my time living here. Knowing that it’s Sena, it’s weird realizing how emotive she is in real life and how that translates to the rest of the world. Usually it annoyed me, but it apparently makes for a good indicator on when she’s live.

Speaking of her going live, this is also around the same time I’d be turning on that stream on my television. But now that I know who Mimie really is, I just don’t feel right in putting it on. Even with the virtual avatar, I’ll can only see Sena behind that mask. And hearing that faint laughter of hers above, I can also only hear her voice now from that character.

But it’s not like I had anything else planned for the night. Sure, I could put on someone else seeing as the VTuber market exploded with tons of streamers now. It would be easy to replace her with someone else as my source of entertainment, but after what we talked about earlier. Even that doesn’t feel right to me either. Like I’m betraying the original idea on why I watched her in the first place.

I guess it doesn’t hurt to put her on right now. If it’s no good, then I can always turn off the stream. It’s not like I’m required to say anything in the chat.

So after a quick connection with my phone, her stream’s now running on the television and the sounds of her voice with the game she’s playing fill the room. It’s comforting to have something filling the otherwise dead silence in that unique manner only a streamer can do. It’s different than something like music or a movie. Hearing her voice is like having another person in this room, just hanging out and playing some video game.

Though the idea of having Sena just hanging out in my apartment doesn’t sound fun at all. If she’s loud enough for me to hear her during these streams, even if faint, then being in the same room would damage my ears.

Sitting down, I’m not sure if I did the right thing putting on her stream. I’ve got this nice dinner in front of me and this is just like many other nights I’ve enjoyed. Yet this feeling of a broken illusion continues to seep into my mind, giving my that pit feeling in my heart.

“You guys have notice the stream is looking cleaner now, right?” I hear her say as I grab the remote. It seems she’s about to talk about all the hard work I did for her less than 30 minutes ago. “That’s because I went and got a better computer. It looks so nice, I wish I could share it with you right now.”

Yeah, I’m sure most people on chat would love to see it. I might have some reservations about the looks, but it’s certainly flashy. “Oh no! I completely forgot.” She says in the same exact that Sena does when she remembers something. That happens a lot with this woman. For someone with her profession, I’m surprised by how much of an airhead she is. “The person who set this up for me, I completely forgot to thank him for all his hard work.”

Honestly, I forgot about that too. It just slipped my mind and it doesn’t really matter anyway. I was just doing my job after all. “I’m so terrible.” She says. “I didn’t even properly say goodbye to him because I was trying to make sure I wasn’t late to my stream. That was so rude of me.”

Seeing her like this, even if it’s only through that virtual avatar. It’s clear through her voice that she’s upset by this. It’s the same as when I saw Sena earlier being so down over the memories of how bad her debut stream was. So I also know that this isn’t just playing it up for the stream. She probably really thinks that I feel slightest by her.

“Well, I said I wasn’t going to do it, but…” I pull out my phone to get to the page of the stream through there. That’s how I donate to her during these streams. She probably won’t realize that this superchat is coming from me, but at least I can do a little bit to assure her it’s fine. Once I write out the message, I throw in a little bit of cash and hit send.

‘Don’t worry about it. He’s glad that you love your new computer, and that you never gave up.’