Chapter 7. Maggot Slayer

Another month and half has passed and we are now entering the summer months. If you are wondering what month is it now? It’s some time in June and we just started our summer break. But does it really fucking matter? Just know it’s fucking hot and I only got 3 more month before the entrance exam to Tokyo Academy and if you are that shit at math, the entrance exam is going to take place on September 9th in the countryside of Tokyo where little wannabes from all over Japan will come to take this entrance exam and most will realize that they aren’t the protagonist and get rejected. Of course, that’s not fucking happening to me as I got the plot armor in my favor.

If you are wondering what monster I have been slaying lately? Well, learn to read the fucking title will ya? After doing some extensive research, we came across this monster called a maggot in level E dungeons that are rather unique.

Think it’s mostly derived from a game called Diablo, which I ended up playing for a bit. The graphics were shit but the item system in the second game was impressively well designed for a game from over 500 years ago.

Anyways, those maggot fuckers is a giant fat lump of stationary lard that puke up poison and does nothing else. However, when they die, a shitton of smaller maggots spawn from their fatass corpses and they make fast and easy kill gains.

As Emma moved around tanking all the poison and killing the oversized maggots, I was once again on clean up duty and one shotting all the tiny motherfuckers as they crawled around like cockroaches.

“THUNDERBOLT!” I screamed as a bolt of pure electricity materialized in thin air struck the area where Emma had exploded a group of fat lards and hundreds of crawling maggots instantly got fried when my attack landed.

On the subject of school as I wait for my blondie to clear out more fat maggots. I heard that here in Japan a new school year starts in April and in America it starts in September? What kind of logic was that? Why aren’t schools starting at the beginning of the year instead of wanting to be special?

Anyways, thanks to the Hero System, a global organization was formed and controlled by the elite 50. Any country that wanted a say in what the Hero System decides would need to have as many members and form as many alliances so they could to get a majority in voting so whatever they want could be passed. Sounds like some complicated shit I don’t want to deal with when I make it to the elite 50.

Thankfully, Emma told me her dad never bothers to show up to any of the meetings and votes however the U.S. government asks him to vote along with most of the other Americans in the elite 50. What a lucky bastard, I wish I could get as strong and rich as him one day. Or at least marry his daughter and take over his wealth. Wait! I think Emma’s got 2 brothers! FUCK! I guess even if I get his daughter, I won’t be taking over no global empire. If that’s the case, why is that fucking butler so hard on my ass? It’s not even like I will be taking over the family empire if I marry Emma. That fucking geezer just hating on me because he is jealous!

With that, every country decided they should base the school year around when the hero exam takes place so they don't fuck over their own people. Smart choice I would say and thanks to that, every country starts their school year on the first Monday of new year, goes on break in June with the second semester ends by end of November so all those that are ready to take the hero exam will be able to make it to the exam sites in mid December where the hero exam takes place each year.

Now you might be wondering. Ken? What the fuck is the hero exam and why should I care? Well, you should care because the fucking protagonist is aiming to be a hero so obviously I will be taking this exam one day.

Long story short, only those with a hero license can enter level A and above dungeons and those obviously have the best loot and offer the most rewards. I have heard some offered special clear bonuses but that’s just a rumor so who knows if it’s true or someone was just bullshitting on the forums for likes and upvotes.

As an active forum browser who loves to call out bullshitters, you know I won’t just believe whatever that gets posted. Other than my online bff who’s always on my side, I have made many enemies from calling out all the bullshit.

Anyways, getting back on topic, if your country doesn’t have that many qualified heroes and a Level S dungeon spawns in your country. Guess who’s sending their army of licensed heroes to come and “help” while stealing your resources from the dungeon. Let me give you a hint. Actually, fuck it. I will just tell you the major powers that currently have the most licensed heroes.

China with their huge population and super duper competitive environment currently has the most licensed heroes, no shocker there. I heard people there are fucking crazy with their training and will grind 20hours a day. Fucking nutjobs.

India with their equally huge population and equally crazy competitive environment has the second most licensed heroes.

The USA came in third with the number of licensed heroes to round off the top three but they have 11 of the current elite 50. China with 5, India with 4, here in Japan we got 2 along with Russia, France, Germany and UK also having 2 in the elite 50.

If I didn’t mention your country, that’s because you could only produce a single elite 50 or none at all so go back to your drawing board and get your asses working on getting stronger instead of complaining to me. I don’t make the fucking rules.

Like the name implies, the Elite 50, I should emphasize their name to show some respect, right? Nah, fuck that. The elite 50 is obviously the current 50 strongest in the world based on their overall abilities. How exactly is that determined? I don’t fucking know. Maybe once I get strong enough to be part of that elite group, I will be able to go into the details.

So other than making some random decisions that don’t affect the general public and are more geared towards the guilds and organizations that control all the wealth and power gained from the high level dungeons, what exactly does the elite 50 do?

Well, apparently they are the only ones allowed into a Level SS dungeon and the loot drop from one of those can equal a small nation. 50 years ago when the last Level SS dungeon appeared, only a joint effort from 43 of the elite 50 from that era, managed to clear the final boss to prevent the dungeon from finalizing and materializing in our world and causing massive destruction.

I heard a bunch of those motherfuckers dead but then again, who knows if it even happened. I heard rumors that the SS dungeon was a bullshit story the government made up to get rid of some non-compliant power houses and it was actually a civil war between the heroes. Whatever the truth is, I do be one of the 7 that didn’t bother to show up. While you motherfuckers get killed taking care of a SS dungeon or killing each other, I do be chilling while moving up the ranks.

While the stories and rumors are wild, I for one think the dungeon was real and I’m not part of the conspiracy groups that think everything is made up. Afterall, those idiots could never explain the legendarily extremely rare items that sometimes appear on the market. Just 5 years ago, a sword with +255 att, +255 str, +255 vit, +255 dex, +255 speed and +255 crit appeared on the market and caused a bidding war amongst the entire world of physical damage sword users. In the end, the sword sold for a fucking billion us dollars! ONE FUCKING BILLION DOLLARS!

Sure, this motherfucking sword gives you 6 maxed out stats that’s literally a physical melee hero’s wet dream. If I had a billion fucking dollars, I sure in hell not spending it on some sword. It’s hookers and cocaine for me! I don’t even know what the fuck I just said mean since it’s a meme from hundreds of years ago. What the fuck is a cocaine?

And how do I know this sword actually exists and someone didn’t fake it? Because the person who ended up paying a billion dollars was none other than Emma’s father. I still remember going over to her mansion to celebrate her birthday 5 years ago and snuck into her father’s room and tried to use that fucking sword, verified with my own eyes the motherfucker added 255 stats to 6 different categories.

I was caught by Albert and banned from ever going to her house from that day forward. But can you blame me? He just left the fucking billion dollar sword on display instead of having it in his inventory for use!

The motherfucker paid a billion dollars for a overpowered fucking sword and used it as a display piece... How am I supposed to resist from using it? Come to think of it, maybe Albert’s hate towards me intensified since that day, but I feel it’s unfair to blame me for trying it on. Not like I could ever walk out with that thing even if I wanted to keep it.

While I was monologuing about the elite 50, Emma had cleared out a large area of maggots and the place is now crawling with thousands of nasty tiny fucking maggots babies like cockroaches that’s waiting to be destroyed by a flamethrower.

“THUNDERBOLT!” I screamed, frying up all the maggots with my thunderbolt attack as I watched the shitters disappear in satisfaction.

Thanks to Emma buying me a few mana items, which I specifically told her to just buy lower tier cheaper ones, I am currently wearing a bunch of random shit that went against my normal cool style while hunting the maggots in the dungeon.

One ugly ass looking wooden wand that added a few hundred mana and some mana regen. A stupidass looking pan shield that couldn’t block shit but added some mana. 2 mana rings, an amulet that added mana and a dumb looking wizard hat that added mana and regen.

Overall, with my clown looking gear, I managed to get over 1000 mana and can fire 2 thunderbolts before I have to wait for my slowass low int to regen my mana or chug mana potions before I could use my spell again.

After I complained about how trash this shit looked, Emma offered to pay to have my gear redesigned but obviously I couldn’t ask the blondie to spend even more while the gear alone already cost over 10,000 gold or 100 us dollars and transmogging even shit gear is not cheap.

I told her that as long as she won’t break up with me for looking like a clown, I am fine with wearing this shit. Of course, she tried to break up with me the following day. Fine! She got pissed at me for flirting with a cute girl on the subway and not because of the fucking gears! But still, trying to blame me for flirting with a cute girl. Like what am I supposed to do? Stand there and just stare at her like a creep instead of having a conversation?

Sure, if she let me in her pants, I probably would have agreed and went to a love hotel with her but with a beautiful, tall, curvy blonde like you with me 24/7, it’s not like any of your typical Japanese girl would ever even think about making a move on me.

“THUNDERBOLT!” I shouted. I really enjoy shouting thunderbolt ever since acquiring this skill. With that hit and many thousands of squirming maggots murdered, I reached that juicy beautiful 100,000th kill and that ding popup was music to my ears.