Episode 5: The Alma Mater of Maters

The Can Do Anything Club’s new headquarters in the Yoshima high school literature club was chaotic. Everyone was talking to each other about what they were going to do that day.

They were going to their old middle school. Finally. (But really, it was just to meet their new CDAC members, which included Miharu, a new girl with an interesting power.)

Erica, who was the official head of the high school division now, was going to tell the girls to shut up so they could get going. However, she decided it would be for them to come to an organic understanding of their current situation.

That lasted for only a few minutes.

Erica couldn’t possibly wait any longer.

I wanna go! Right now!

She cleared her throat, as she tended to do. “Um, guys?”

Nothing.

I gotta get their attention somehow.

“‘Shut up when I’m talking to you! SHUT UUUP!’”

Finally, the girls shut up and turned their attention to their club president.

“You guys. We’re going to middle school today, aren’t we?”

The girls nodded and made some agreement noises.

“So what are we going to do about our appearances? Are we gonna disguise ourselves or are we just gonna go in there as guests?”

The club looked at Erica like she had an extra head or something.

“Um, we’re not disguising ourselves,” Kasumi said, sniggering. “That would be stupid.”

Erica shrugged. “Alright then. I guess we’ll be going as guests then. After all, that makes the most sense.”

“Awww…” Behami pouted.

“Sorry, Behami!” The club president put her hands together. “Maybe some other time!”

★

And so, the seven girls gathered around Tomo and teleported away. To where, exactly, by the school?

Behind a row of tall bushes, of course!

We’re here. The beating of Erica’s quickened a bit.

“Now what?” Mimori whispered to what Erica assumed was someone else but she wasn’t too direct about it.

“We all get out of here and walk towards the school, duh,” Kasumi replied, clearly enjoying her sassing back.

After the girls went inside with their indoor shoes on (accidentally, whoops), they were quickly approached by a stern-looking older woman who was sitting at a small table with a laptop computer in front of her.

Oh, shit. Time to tell her that we’re guests.

“May I help you?” the woman said.

Erica was going to speak to the woman but Asuka beat her to it, looking awfully bashful as she spoke. “We’re here to meet our, um, club members… I mean, uh, new club members!”

The woman lowered her glasses as she looked up at them. “Which club is it”?

“Th—The Can Do Anything Club!”

“The what-now?”

Asuka gulped, turning redder by the second. “I—I mean, the literature club!”

Eh-heh. This is oddly cute of her. Erica was very tempted to read her friend’s mind right now to see what it was going through, but she restrained herself.

“Oh, them. It all makes sense now.” (Did it really though?) “You guys can go to the club room. Just put these visitor pins on first.” She gestured to a small bowl filled with visitor pins and after each girl grabbed one and put it on, they were ready to go.

★

When they arrived at the club room, the first thing that greeted them was the door, which already felt incredibly nostalgic to them. The second thing was talking coming from the inside.

By-the-by, the girls didn’t even know they were coming. It was all a surprise.

“Should we barge in?” Mari questioned, eyebrows raised cartoonishly. “Like, really surprise them?”

Behami grinned. “That’d be kino. I’ll do it then.”

And so, the bronze-haired girl slammed the door open and fearlessly walked in.

“HOW IS EVERYONE TODAY?!”

“HOW ARE YOU? FINE, THANK YOU!” Mimori added, trailing behind the girl, as well as Mari.

When Erica walked in, she instantly saw the all-too-familiar room and a group of five girls sitting at the table, who were now staring at the girls.

As they should, obviously.

Naoko’s eyes bored into Erica’s with the intensity of a flame that was burning thousands, maybe even millions, of the Earth’s layers and into the center of the Earth itself.

“Welcome,” she said, and if you listened close enough, you could hear the embers of flames in her voice. Somehow.

“Eh?” Tomo cocked her head to the side as she closed the door. “I thought you’d be happy to see us.”

Naoko shook her head back and forth with the subtlety of an alive mannequin. “No. At a later time, yes. You should have texted me saying you were coming over, not just dropping by here by surprise.” Then, she realized whom she was talking to. “Or called. Whatever. Ding.”

Kasumi sighed and took a seat on one of the folding chairs that were tucked away in the corner of the room. “Sorry, Naoko. That's what I would have done, too, if I wasn’t surrounded by idiots. Innyway, those two girls right now are your new club members?” She pointed at them accordingly.

“Yes. The blonde one is Ean, and the black-haired, freckle-faced one is Miharu.”

Ean grinned, waving her arms to and fro. “Yo, wassup!”

Miharu, meanwhile, just smiled politely. “Hi again. Long time no see!” (That part was obviously meant to be said jokingly.)

“AH! It’s That Girl!” Mimori bleated.

“Yes, me.” Miharu giggled. “You guys were so shocked to see Nick there, it was hilarious. Except… Kasumi, is it? I don’t remember you having such big boobs. Did you use magic, by any chance?” When she said that last bit, she sounded generally interested.

Kasumi turned extremely bashful at the flick of a switch. “Y-yeah, yup! That's my superpower. Oh! And speaking of transformations, that was you at the high school, just disguised as a student there! What were you doing there, anyway?”

“Yeah!” Mimori added pointlessly. “We wanna get to the bottom of this Drew thing!”

Miharu nodded and began her explanation. “Yep, that was me,” she said, tone cool and calm. “In case you don’t know, I have the power to manipulate reality, and so I decided to bring the cast of Black Sash to life… including Nick.”

“Ah, I thought so, I thought so.” She paused for a beat. “AND THANK YOU SO MUCH AHHHH!!!”

The reality warper giggled. “Um, no problem, I guess.” Then, she jerked her pointer finger at Kasumi. “Are you a fan of Drew, too?”

Kasumi started to cackle. “Are you kidding? Nope! That’s all Mimo-chan here. She’s, like, his #1 fan.”

Shit. Kasumi, did you really have to go and say that? Did you forget already?!

As if summoned, Suika got up from her chair and made a beeline straight to poor Mimori, who was just existing in the room.

“Umm…” Erica could tell that she was more than a tad uncomfortable.

“It. Is. On.” Suika whispered into Mimori’s ear.

“A-ah, okay then. I guess.”

Suika giggled in such a way that sounded off. “Good! Oh, and on that subject—have you seen Army Wives yet?”

Mimori backed up, almost bumping into Mari, who let out a loli-like yelp.

“Ah, sorry! And u-umm… bits and pieces of it, but mostly from the pilot episode. It seemed really boring to me, like something my mom would watch. Sorry.”

Suika still stood across from her, face back to its blankness and stoicness.

“Oh.”

Desperately trying to get back on topic, Erica cleared her throat and spoke. “So, to confirm, you can manipulate reality, right?”

Miharu nodded cutely. “Mm-hm.”

“And where are these TV show characters now?”

“Umm,” Miharu hummed, putting her index finger to her chin, which made Kasumi and Mimori think of a certain someone. “I’d say that they’re probably home by now. I got the others to ‘transfer’ to Yoshima High School the day after Nick didn’t. As a side note, I don’t think any of them have joined any clubs yet.”

Tomo perked up. “Ooh! They should join our club!” The excited girl clasped her hands together. “Do say they’re nice people!”

Miharu was now playing with her fingernails. “Yeah, they are. You got Bryan, the goofy one; Tory, the quiet nerd; Allie, the chipper girly girl, and Nick, the bad boy.”

“If he’s the bad boy, then how is he nice?” Behami said, making an overexaggerated thinking expression.

Miharu sighed. “He’s a bit of a jerk sometimes, but he’s just really a jerk with a heart of gold.”

“TROPE!” Mimori shouted, startling everyone.

Erica decided it was best to move on from the reality warper girl and onto the girl, who was currently browsing Instagram on her phone, looking somehow bored.

“Okay, cool! Can’t wait to meet them. I’ll consider inviting them to join our club. Now, the other new girl—Ean, was it?”

Ean looked up, suddenly entertained by the notion that was someone saying her name. “Yeah? That’s me!”

“Hm, sounds vaguely foreign. Like mine.”

Ean did a short laugh. “Yeah, you could say that. My dad’s, like, German or some shit while Mom’s Japanese.”

“Hm.” Erica hmmed again. “Alright, and what’s your superpower again? I don’t think I remember seeing it in the group chat.” (Yes, the girls still had a group chat going on where they frequently talked.)

“I can summon fire in my hands.” She said this all too casually.

Asuka’s eyes widened. “Oh, oh no. Oh, no. You can summon fire?”

“I’m a firestarter!” Ean grinned evilly. “A twisted firestarter.”

Kasumi growled while she mussed up her long hair. “What did I say that one time?! Giving a pyromaniac fire powers is a bad idea! Naoko, what the FUCK were you THINKING?!”

Naoko, being silent and having a non-presence as always, shook her head. “No worries. She’s too stupid and a Vape God to be a pyromaniac.”

“A VAPE GOD?!”

“Please tell me that she hasn't done anything bad yet,” Erica said, biting her lip.

Ean leaned back in her chair theatrically and threw her phone-less hand up in the air. “I almost burned down the principal’s office… but I didn’t. Still got detention, though. Other than creating a forcefield and summoning an underage Drew-Whatever-His-Name-Is, I didn’t do anything bad. Yet.”

Mimori’s jaw dropped. “What!? You… what?” Meanwhile, Suika’s eyes sparkled.

“An underage Drew?!”

Erica sighed heavily. I really don’t wanna talk about Drew again—except for the part about him being underage. But we’re underage ourselves, sooo…?

“Detention?” She decided to go with that anyway.

Ean rolled her eyes. “Yeah. Long story. Many problems, many levels. Can we talk about this some other time?”

Naoko nodded. “Yes, please. Continuing on, Suika, Jopi, and I have different powers now, as we said in the message. For a refresher: I have teleportation, Jopi has telekinesis, and Suika can summon things.”

Tomo looked down morosely. “I thought I was supposed to be the only one with that power.”

“Hey, we don’t all have to have different powers. We can overlap,” Naoko said, justifying the situation.

Just then, the room went a little quiet.

“Wait. Suika can summon things?” Kasumi’s face darkened, looking terrified. “That is not good.”

Jopi nodded and spoke for the first time in this segment. “Yeah, I know.”

“I’ll be careful with it, guys. Don’t worry.” The way Suika said that, however, made Erica think that they should worry, very much so.

At this point, it seemed like everything that needed to be covered was covered.

“So… now what?” Erica asked, legitimately wondering.

“I know!” Mimori piped up chipperly. “Let’s go shopping! ‘It’s been a while… since we have done that.’ Don’t ya think?”

Erica frowned. Of course that reference. “I don’t know… what do you guys think?” She was mainly seeing if the kouhai were interested.

Miharu groaned, but the rest seemed pretty content with Mimori’s suggestion.

“So, which mall?”

Tomo raised her hand. “I have one in mind.”

And so, they were Mall Bound.

★

“Really?” Naoko raised an eyebrow. “Sunrise Mall? Isn’t this place just about dead?”

“Hm?” Tomo blinked. “I didn’t think it would be dead. Aren’t malls still all in booming business?”

“No. No, they are not.”

“Ah, whatever!” Ean scratched her hair and smirked. “I haven’t been to one of these in forever, so I’m cool with it!”

“Alright then.” Naoko’s expression was stone cold. “Enjoy the emptiness. Ding!”

Ean chortled. “But why? What’s the point?” Suddenly, she felt an arm on her shoulder. It was Mari!

“Don’t worry about her,” Mari said, pursing her lips together. “She helps make these videos called CinemaSins with her dad, like, every day, so it’s seeped into her life.”

Ean gave the girl a look of concern. “Sounds pretty fucking worrisome if you ask me. Oh! Do you think there’s a spot to vape in here or nah?”

The girls exchanged looks… also of concern.

“Hmm, I’m not sure.” Tomo looked around the general vicinity. “But we should just stick together for now and explore.”

“Oh, alright.” Ean sighed. “Guess I’ll just go and vape later then.”

★

Once they started walking around, the CDAC made the discovery that Sunrise Mall was, in fact, still operating and not empty at all (but it wasn’t packed either). Of the non-clothes, places there was Claire’s (which Mimori had to go and crack a Flugle joke about, how timely), an F.Y.E (which Mimori was really excited about), and a Build-a-Bear Workshop, where the girls each planned to make their own plushie with their own money which they brought with them (luckily).

The first place that they decided to visit was F.Y.E, which is on the very first floor. The main reason for going there was obvious: Mimori really wanted to look for something. It was left purposely vague, but it obviously had to do with “You-Know-Who.”

Erica was personally looking forward to Tomo’s reaction to the place, and sure enough, the girl looked absolutely amazed upon entrance. It was almost as if she hadn’t seen so many DVDs and blu-rays in her whole life. (Which, to her credit, she hadn’t. Hence Erica’s eagerness.)

Wasting no time, Mimori went straight to the TV series section, and started to madly flip through the DVDs, until she found…

“Oh my God, I found it!!” she squealed, causing many customers to glance at her (to check if she was alright, probably).

“Found what?” Asuka queried innocently, coming up to her friend’s side.

“The Charmed complete series!”

At the mention of that, Suika perked up and strode over. “Where?!”

Kasumi rolled her eyes, undoubtedly expecting Mimori to have a seizure on the floor because she was so happy. She joined the girls in looking in the TV series section, and almost immediately—

“Hey, Mimori. Look.”

Stopping her fangirling over the fact that the DVD set included Flugle in a small picture on the back (which never really happens for the oddest reason), she squealed yet again.

“‘Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo!~’” Kasumi sang. She was holding up a box set of the first three seasons of The O.C.

Erica, who was looking at the very end of the section, shook her head and chortled. I really don’t get these girls and their obsessions.

“‘California!~’” Mimori sang in reply. She then giggled and started to look in the As again to see if she could find Army Wives.

Does she like the series or not? Is she just tsundere towards it or something?

Not long after her friend began looking and showed her her findings (which was only season 2 of the series), Kasumi told her friend she was going to look at the CDs and walked off.

Slightly bored herself (she wasn’t much for physically collecting anything except for the odd book), Erica went and followed her but tried to stay as far behind as possible.

As Kasumi rounded the corner of the CD section, Erica spotted a familiar face looking at headphones.

Oh, God. It’s Peter.

Deciding to be a bit devilish, Erica kept her head halfway hidden behind a rack of country CDs and listened in via speech and telepathy.

Kasumi saw Peter as well and straightened her posture.

What’s he doing here?! Kasumi thought. She immediately looked down at herself and turned her breasts back to their normal size.

Then, being as brave as she could, she walked up to him, clearly trying not to hyperventilate.

“Hey,” she said to him as casually as she could.

“Oh, hi Kasumi-chan!” he replied back, taking a pair of Beats headphones off his ears.

“You never texted me saying that you were going to the mall!” Then, looking to the side she said, “W-well, I never said I was going either, though. I-in any event, I would have gladly come with you, instead of going with those freaks over there.” She gestured to her friends, who were currently gathered around a wall of Funko Pops and pointing out some funny-looking ones.

Peter chuckled. “I thought they were your friends. Why be so mean to them?”

“They are, but sometimes they’re just annoying, you know? Double-edged sword and all that.”

“Oh. Yeah, I get that. Some of the guys I hang out with are like that, too.”

Kasumi blushed. I love it when he’s understanding.

“So, um…” Kasumi continued. “Why are you here?”

Peter blinked as he fully turned to face his girlfriend. “Oh! Right. I forgot to tell you, but I had an orthodontist appointment today so I had to get pulled from school early. Mom took me here afterward as a kind of reward.” He leaned in close to her, whispering. “But that was fine with me because I wanted to get new Beats anyway since I broke my old ones and Mom is kinda mad about it.”

“Oh. Yeah, that sucks.” Kasumi meticulously played with her fingernails. “I thought you could turn them back to Beats so they could fix them for you but I guess you just wanna go and get new ones?”

“Yeah. They were pretty worn anyway.”

Is it just me or does Peter seem kinda disinterested in this whole conversation? Having spent quite some time with teenage boys, Erica could already tell the signs that something was brewing within her friend’s relationship.

Well, now things are awkward. Kasumi seemed to know, too.

“Umm…” Kasumi ummed, creating a melody of sorts. “I better go back to my friends! I’m sure they’re gonna be off to another store in a few minutes!”

With that, Kasumi began to round the corner to the front so Erica made a mad dash to the posters section, pretending to be engrossed in one of The Hunger Games.

★

Nothing else really fascinating happened after that but if you want to, you can set a series of photos in your mind to that hypnotizingly happy ukulele music that often plays in YouTube videos for children. Such photos should include one of the girls getting smoothies at Orange Julius, looking at stupidly expensive slacks at Lulu Lemon, and making their own bears at—you guessed it—Build-a-Bear (well ackshually, Mimori made a Twilight Sparkle, but alas.)

By the end of the day, the club was all pooped out from walking around the whole duration of the large mall, as well as being full somehow from the smoothies that they had.

When they all got back to the club room, time resumed as it did before they left, and Kasumi said something thought-provoking.

“Isn’t it weird that when Mimori freezes time, it only really applies to one spot? Like, why not the others?”

“I dunno,” Mimori responded, face a bit dumbfounded. “Does it matter?”

“Dunno. Just thought. Well anyway, I saw Peter at F.Y.E today!”

Mari had a deadpan look on her face, for comedy purposes of course. “Yeah. We know.”

The place was silent for a bit, and then Erica spoke.

“About the time thing… I think it has to do with just thinking about what place you wanna apply your power to, or something. You just never think about it that deeply, Mimori-chan.”

“Aw.” Mimori pouted. “Are you calling me dumb?”

“No. Just thoughtful.”

All of a sudden, Henry teleported into the room. “I heard that the two CDACs have joined forces?” he said in his usual nonchalant way.

“Yup!” Tomo said, clapping her hands together cheerfully. “And we should commemorate it with a picture! Would you mind taking one for us?”

“Oh, sure! With whose phone?”

“Mine.” Erica volunteered instantly and handed the all-powerful wizard her iPhone.

The girls then gathered in front of the long table, arranging and rearranging themselves accordingly.

“You guys ready? On a count of three… One, two, three!”

The picture was taken, and afterward, Erica sent it to her friends.

Long Live the CDAC! She added underneath it.

Erica giggled at what she typed and put her phone away.

“Alright, everyone!” she said to her fellow high school first-years. “You guys ready to head back?”