Chapter 23

Lurking in the background was always a danger, an inevitability. Because I was so self-centered, in love with living my dream, I dragged my loved ones down into the darkness along with me. I couldn’t scale that wall with all of them in tow, the failure I was, bearing that weight was impossible! No one knew what walking the path with me entailed; they kindly offered their hands, and in my selfishness, I accepted them to preserve my ego…

Part 1

“…Ah…” Aching, my head, mouth, eyes, chest, the entirety of my body was drenched in sweat, inundated with paralyzing pain! The white room around me and multitude of beeping machines to either side of my bed pointed to me being in the hospital. Needles riddled my skin, tubes ran up my nose and down my throat, I panicked! “Ah!”

“Fate, honey, calm down!” Mom shot in from the right of my vision, gripping my arm tightly, and from the left a doctor readied a syringe; knowing what she planned to do, I prepared. She plugged the needle into an IV bag attached to me and I began to slowly drift away, but heat bubbled back up, coursing through my chest! The seed rapidly ate away at whatever was injected into my veins! “That’s not working! P-Please stop! No more!”

Mom and the doctor argued as I struggled to calm myself. Evidently, the seed disliked having drugs enter my system without permission. Doing everything possible, deep breaths through the tubes, closing my eyes, trying to relax as best I could until the dosage was upped, I passed back out immediately.

Days of constant surveillance, being marveled at, and having blood taken, went by until I was finally pulled off whatever life support they’d placed me on. Mom sat alongside my bed trimming the overgrown silvery hair out of my eyes. “I think you should keep these at this point.” She joked.

“…” I just looked to her; conveying I wasn’t fond of the idea. “M…” Speaking was difficult, feeling likened to moving clumps of damp ash, rubber and porcelain around in my mouth. Miraculously, my face had regenerated! The ashes oozing down my throat before reconvened into a tongue, teeth, lips, and reconnected my jaws. The seed’s power was otherworldly, and the doctor’s had taken notice of it too, sadly. “M…w…”

“Don’t talk, honey! The doctor said your mouth healing up was a miracle…though I’m sure it’s probably closer to whatever it is you’re hiding from me, still…” She said with emphasis.

“…Mom…” Finally… “Mom…w…where is…Teddy…?” I’d struggled just to put a single word together, but finally! Days passed and I heard anything from my friends or about Teddy, I needed answers! “Tell me. Please!”

“…I’m sorry, Fate.”

“…” It was obvious, so obvious. My mother’s warmest hug, and the heat of the seed pumping mana throughout my healing body couldn’t stave off my heart from freezing over from sorrow.

Part 2

“We are all gathered here today…to say goodbye to Theodore McGinnis. A computer technician, a hard worker, a friend…and a son. Theodore was taken from us for too soon…” He was gone. Without even being able to see Ireland, without having all his hard work as a cameraman pay off, without even being able to say goodbye to his family! “We’d like to hear now from his father, Ronald McGinnis.”

A massive man, the spitting image of an older Teddy in a black suit, shuffled up to the front of the chapel. Turning to face the mourners, his wrinkled face and almost totally gray tuft of hair resembled his son, to the point I had to hold back tears. “My son was a lot of things…ambitious, strong, t-technical…har…” Emotion strangled him, tears welled up in his brown eyes, and clear trembling ravaged his legs. “Hard working! My boy…” Despite Mr. Ron’s large frame, he shrunk with each word. “My boy… worked toward his dream! He wanted to see the world alongside his buddies! Ireland, the old country, even if he never gets to see it in this life, I swear, I will take my son to those shores in the next!” Suddenly a person collapsed into the aisle, crying hysterically! Teddy’s mother, she wept loudly, totally inconsolable even as others ran to her side.

The last viewing began, but I couldn’t stomach looking at Teddy’s dead body. “Fate, don’t you want to say goodbye?” Mom asked, having no idea of the heartache I was suffering, the guilt smothered me.

Others walked up ahead of me to the coffin, saying their final goodbyes. “I…I…” A hefty shove blasted me forward! When I turned, Perry, with the most scornful glare in his eyes, stared a hole through me. “…”

“It’s the least you can do.” He muttered.

“…” Perry was right.

Mustering a little courage, shouldering the guilt, and walking in those heavy loafers, I shambled my way forward. Each step I could feel myself grow closer, not to the coffin, but to death. It was finally upon me, claiming the life of someone I loved! Taking Teddy from his family, ending his dreams; never again would he be there in the clubroom when I entered! Never again would he be able to help us with his camera skills! Never again would he be able to go to classes! He wouldn’t look after his parents when they grew older, or watch MMA, or joke with us about how we didn’t know how to fight, or even show us that kind, goofy smile ever again!

There he laid… face and lower half of his body reconstructed from plastic. That gray, lifeless shell of that once was my friend, unmoving, dead. “Ugh…good…bye…” I failed. I just ran, leaving the coffin, my mother and everyone else inside! Running away from consequences yet again, acting like I wasn’t at fault. I was.

Part 3

The smell of rain accompanied the dreadful night’s sky, making for a perfectly melancholic and damp evening. I could hear them, even from the outside on the bench. Mourning words of heartbreak, loss, and scorn clawed at my ears from beyond the church’s walls. It reminded me, I wasn’t normal, I wasn’t like anyone else in there; no longer a normal person. Footsteps from behind piqued my interest as someone skulked around. “Can I help you?”

“Oh! Uh…” That voice was all too familiar. “Fate, it’s been a bit.” Gabby, one of the few times I really didn’t want to see her.

“Yeah. Not the best time to meet.” Couldn’t even bear to look over my shoulder and see her face.

“Can I join you?”

“…If you want.” Gabby sat on the bench, her gloomy black dress matching my equally gloomy suit. Beneath the weeping willows, illuminated by the church lights we silently watched as the sky slowly broke, releasing a squall. “…Kind of awkward…”

“Yeah…I’m not really good with this sort of stuff.”

“Did you come out here just to check on me?”

“Uh huh. Ms. June’s in there worrying herself silly.”

“…Damnit.”

“…Fate. I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Let me just get ahead of myself here and say…I’m sorry.”

“...what now?”

“These last few months have been insane! Everything around you, specifically, has been nuts! We’ve been friends since highschool, and back then, you always did your best to keep to yourself.”

“…Gabby?”

“I’m prying into your life, and I know I don’t have any right to. Whatever is happening to you must be awful, and it’s obviously hurting you so…”

“It’s all my fault…”

“What?”

“It’s all my fault! I deserve all the fucking blame!” It was unbearable, another person consoling me, consoling the person who was totally at fault! The seed pumped heat, burning hot mana, across my body as I became more agitated! “Just leave me alone for a bit…” Needing to get away, with beleaguered breath, I stormed off, leaving Gabby to cool myself off in the chilling rain.

“Fate, stop!” Surprisingly, she gave chase! “Listen, I get that whatever you’re going through-”

“Enough!”

“…”

“You don’t get it! No one gets it! It’s because of me…because I’m so fucking selfish and stupid that my friend is dead! Because I was so attached to living a normal life, because I’m so afraid of dying! My life…my life…” I didn’t want to verbalize it, but my life was over. There was no hope of returning to any semblance of normalcy ever again!

“How dreadfully dramatic.” Even with my senses heightened, I neglected to notice Anesha suddenly appearing! She stood beneath a tree, avoiding the rain, mocking my sincere display of emotion.

“Anesha? Uh…?” I glanced back to Gabby, who didn’t seem to be leaving. (Is she not affected by a ward?) “Um…this is…Gabby.”

“I did not request an introduction.”

“R-Right…” Anesha hadn’t once appeared to me since we fought off the spoursis.

“Come with me. I realize you are grieving, lo’ a matter of grave importance requires our attention.” There was no denying her, never was. If Anesha was serious enough to not even bother hiding herself, then the circumstances must have been dire.

“Excuse me, but we were talking.” Gabby grabbed my arm and pulled back to her. “Who exactly are you, anyway?”

“…” A wordless glare from Anesha was directed toward Gabby, which didn’t even elicit a flitch in response.

“Uh, Gabby, look, I have to go.” That frown on Anesha’s face was meant to convey a non-verbal command; that being, to get rid of Gabby. “It’s very important…I promise, I’ll be back.”

“…Ok.” Gabby turned, walking back to the church. With one final glance to me, still drenched in rainwater, she left me with a stain of apprehension on my chest. It was my close friend’s funeral and I was abandoning another friend, one who I liked, and all for her…for that bitch, for Anesha.

“As she has left us, I guess we can discuss this here.” With her back leaned against the tree, Anesha let loose a deep sigh. “…”

A weirdly sullen expression worked its way onto her normally arrogant face. “…” Again, I was left silently alone in the rain with a beautiful woman, and I couldn’t even enjoy it!

“I’m sorry…for your loss. It…was in part due to my lack of vigilance.”

“…” Floored. As if everything else in my life didn’t already feel unreal, having Anesha Kyteler, my persistently tormenting guardian, show empathy and acknowledge her failings felt like I’d passed onto the other side! “…”

“Well? Speak, you have my permission!”

“…”

“Enough with your slack jawed expression! Speak!”

“Oh! I…thank you?”

“Honestly!” A hint of a blush flashed on Anesha’s pale cheeks for a second. “…Teddy was a friend of yours. Though I knew very little of him, his sturdy body and apparent demureness in the face of ones’ sovereignty was pleasing to me.” I wasn’t sure how to interpret that, but she was trying to be genuine, it seemed.

“Yeah, thank you.”

“…With that said, onto the…impending crisis.”

“Crisis? Is it something with the Grand Witch’s Cabinet?”

“Indeed. Whilst facing the spoursis, my attention and energy were diverted, as well as during my confrontation with the familiar I faced.” It slipped my mind, but Anesha fought against something in the swamp when we got separated. “This day was foreseen as unavoidable, lo’, due to a…mistake made on my part, that time has come a bit sooner. The barrier over time is being decrypted.”

“Are you saying that all the magekin are out now?!”

“Not all of the magekin, not yet anyway. It would appear as though a few, six to my estimation, have escaped from Graewood.”

“…What’s the next step?”

“As mentioned, fighting the spoursis, keeping the barrier up, and constantly containing your excess mana from drawing the eyes of the world at large, causes more of a toll over time. As you grow stronger, my attention must remain unwavering, on you, and the barrier, and so on. Likely, other familiars are searching the world, as I could not set up specifications for those who I do not, but with the magekin having left the barrier, it only becomes more of an imminent danger.”

“…” Singing erupted from the church. It was Teddy’s father, he and a few other old voices began to join together, wishing my dear friend a farewell. “…Do you know where those magekin are?”

“Not exactly. I may endeavor to locate them, their general location, lo’ tracking their exact whereabouts is impossible. Naturally, they will also track my whereabouts sooner or later.”

“…” That inevitability, that danger, it’d finally reached us. Though I’d run from my cruel reality, there was only one route left to walk. “Let’s leave Greenville.” No more running from the truth!

“Oh?” A spark of surprise shot across Anesha’s face. “To suddenly make such a declaration, to what do I owe this?”

“Even if I get stronger…there’s a chance that everyone will keep getting dragged into danger if I stay here. Those magekin, they’re going to eventually find us. If…if we can find them and…” I didn’t want to say ‘kill’ but…if I needed to do it to protect my loved ones, I’d do it! I’d never let anyone I care about be hurt again if I could help it! “Stop them! We’ll stop them, in order to protect my friends and family. I…”

“Your resolve is wavering.”

“What?!”

“I see it in your eyes! Such weakness will only be a detriment.”

“No! It’s not weakness!”

“It is!” She shouted, eyes ablaze, imparting the gravity of my decision! “I have made mistakes, yet so have you! Due to that lack of resolve, things like this happen. We are not fully committing ourselves to these beliefs…because we cannot shut out our emotions. Come to me when you’re fully able to commit to this new resolve! I will prepare for whichever path you decide to walk.”

Part 4

The service ended with the rain clouds shedding tears to match the attendees. With the final goodbyes said, I bid my farewell to Teddy. “…I promise…I won’t let what happened to you be forgotten.” My hand rested on the coffin, and I felt it drift away, Teddy was truly gone. Waiting alongside Mom outside again, Teddy’s parents walked by, heading for their car. “Um…!” They turned to me, first confused, but then a warm smile folded below Mr. Ron’s moustache. His greying and disheveled hair, it really was like looking at an older Teddy. Suddenly, with strength enough to lift me from the ground, Teddy’s father embraced me! “Teddy, he really was a great guy! Ever since eighth grade, he had my back, even when I didn’t deserve it…” Tears rolled down my face, nothing slowing them. “No matter what, I’ll always appreciate everything he’s done for me! Everything he’s done for us! I’m so sorry!” I gripped him back, stifling my transformation yet again.

“He always talked about how your group gave him a reason to dream. Keep fighting, Fate! Keep living and achieve that dream, I’m sure that’s what Teddy would’ve wanted.” He eased his bearhug on me and with a wave, walked away, leaving me with solemn thoughts.

(I have to protect the others. I have to make sure they all get to see our dream though…and I have to fight to live.) People continued by, leaving Mom, and the other club members alone with me. “Mom, I have to talk with everyone. You can go home, I’ll catch up.”

“…Right.” That grimace. Mom hesitantly left in the car, as I mentally prepared for our talk later. She drove off down the road as the clouds followed behind, disappearing from the sky and welcoming in the moon and stars.

“My comrade, I must assume this is of grave importance if you wish to speak with us alone.” Chester’s goofy way of speaking was tinged with a somber, knowing air.

“I’ll probably have to say this a bunch today; since Erna’s not here, I’ll tell her in person too.” Steeling what little courage I’d gathered, that miniscule self-confidence, I spoke my mind to Chester, Demica, and Perry. “I’m leaving.”

“Leaving? To go where?!” Demica asserted herself right into my face! Looking into her puffy, reddened, blue eyes, a deep despair was growing in her. “You are not just running off to protect us, are you?! Don’t do something stupid!”

“You’ve always been really good at reading me.”

“So, you are being stupid! An absolute moron!” She tried to jostle me by my jacket, but her hands weakly trembled, her heart wasn’t in it.

Trying to reassure her, I rested my hands over Demica’s, as I looked to both Perry and Chester for some myself. “Demica, you look after Perry and Chester while I’m gone, okay?”

“Fuck that! Where are you going?! Why now?!”

“You already said it, I’m leaving to keep you all safe.”

“…”

“You guys can’t live in this world…this fucked up place, with me. You’re normal people, I’m not anymore. It’s just getting worse and I’d rather not you all not-”

“You decide to do this now?” Perry interrupted, cutting a surly glare from behind his sister. “All this time, everything we went through and you just decide that you’re leaving?! Teddy died! The police and college are investigating us, and you decide to just ditch?!”

“…” Already anticipating only disdain from Perry, my heart didn’t falter. “I don’t want anything to happen to you guys.”

“Fuck it! I’m done! I’m fucking done! This is too much! You brought all of this onto us and got Teddy killed!”

“Perry, stop it! It’s not Fate’s fault!” Demica leapt to jump to my defense!

“Yes, it is! That time the school was attacked, and the thing with the massacre out in the projects was too!”

“He’s right.” Using any time trying to deny those truths would’ve been a waste. “Perry, I know you had lots of dreams for the future, dreams that the club would achieve a lot, and for that I can’t apologize enough. Even if it’s without me, I want you guys to keep working on making something out of the work done, if not for me, then for Teddy.” It was a wholly selfish request, but I’d hoped to have my friends find some happiness.

“I don’t care anymore. I’m leaving.” My angered, maybe former friend, stormed off.

“Perry, wait!” Demica started after her brother but stopped to look back, uttering something that gave me a little hope. “When you get back, you better have a good apology prepared.” Off she ran leaving me alone with Chester.

“…Fate, is this really what you want to do?”

“It is. There’s something coming and I want to make sure I get it, before it gets us.”

“Why are you taking all this on by yourself?” It had been years since I last heard Chester’s normally deep voice crack. “You kept all of this secret for so long, pretending everything was alright. Everything you told us back in Jasontown…I’m your best friend, right? Well, rely on me a bit!”

“Chester, this isn’t something I can rely on you for.”

“He’s right, Chester.” Anesha’s sudden appearance was preceded by her frigid aura rapidly filling the entire scene! “You would be of no use in…any scenario.” She spoke, gliding past me, ending up eye to eye with my best friend.

“What?! I-I can do something…I’m sure. Maybe…if I had a gun or something?”

“A firearm? I doubt you would become a marksman of sufficient caliber in feasible time.”

“…Then…can you teach me magic? Yeah, teach me how to use magic! I know you’re a witch, but you’re still kind of a human too, right? Can I learn even the littlest or the weakest spells?”

“I do not believe so.” That shook Chester again as he began to noticeably quake in his shoes. “There are some humans who can manage magic, though it is rudimentary. I can tell those humans apart from others from a glance, as they have a certain quality to them, a talent. You do not possess any of those qualities. You lack talent.”

“Anesha, please. That’s enough.” She may not have noticed, but I could see on Chester’s face, he was almost at his wit’s end. “…You see, you can’t help.”

“…Then you’re just going to put yourself in danger again? What about Ms. June?! What about Erna, Demica and Perry! Even if you think they hate you or are better off without you…they…they’ll be heartbroken if something happens! I’m coming with you and I’ll do whatever you need me to! Ju-”

I couldn’t take the pleading, I needed it to stop! “Enough, Chester!” I gripped him up the collar of his jacket, lifting him off the ground with ease as the seed thundered to life, strengthening my body! “You need to understand; you would get in the way! I don’t want to have to think about you while I fight! I’m not like you, I’m not like anyone anymore! This is a fight I can’t run away from; it’s one I have to take head on! You can’t help me.” I released him, dropping Chester to the muddy ground where he sat, a despondent stare confirming, he’d given up on pursuing us. “Anesha…I think it’s time I start getting ready to go. Can I go and say goodbye to Erna and gather my things?”

“…I suppose.” She agreed and I further steeled my heart, and gathered my faculties as I began to turn and leave.

The look of my best friend, someone I’d known more than half my life, looking up at me, defeated in the mud, was heart wrenching. He’d only wished to help me, to save me and I not only turned him away as best I could, but also swatted away trounced on his kindness. “Do you remember all those months ago when we first met up outside the clubroom, and I wanted to ask you to do something for me? I’m…going to ask that again, now. Chester look after my Mom for me. She doesn’t have anyone else. My grandparents are gone, and she has no siblings, so I’m trusting you to look out for her while I’m gone. Please?”

“…” In response, I got the most sheepish nod. There was no final farewell. Saying goodbye to my friend, for what may have been last the time I’d ever see him, could’ve been the last push before my resolve crumbled.

Part 5

I didn’t bother heading home, not wanting to have a second of wavering resolve. Seeing Mom could’ve brought that about, yelling at Chester nearly did, and bidding farewell to Erna, even for a little while, I feared would. Strolling the ghost town streets, the clouds slowly parted, leaving a chilly breeze gracing my damp suit. The projects were mostly steeped in dreadful silence; as expected because of the incident with Lauritz. Few people continued living in the neighborhood, though many decided to move out, yet the remaining handful stayed as police presence had increased, offering an assumed sense of safety. Many remained unaware of the true horror that’d run rampant that night, something they’d need to fear far worse than some drug dealers or average criminals.

“Listen to reason…!” A solitaire voice broke the stillness! It resounded from a few streets over, so I rushed toward its origin, knowing immediately it came from near Erna’s house! “You can’t stay here alone! This place is falling apart and you’re just some small girl! We’ve got someone who’s ready to buy the house too, so…”

“N-No…” A tall, clean cut guy with greying black hair grabbed Erna by the sleeve of her belt-jacket, attempting to pry her from the front doorframe of her house! Before that could get any further, I intervened!

Using every ounce of restraint when my hand met that man’s wrist, I carefully avoided snapping his arm clean off. “Excuse me, but who are you?” It was difficult staying calm, though it didn’t matter as my eyes, hair and skin had already changed from the argument with Chester.

“Who the hell are you?! I’m Erna’s cousin!” The man barely managed to snatch himself free with a fear filled stumble backwards.

“Is he?” Erna nodded. “Well, she didn’t seem like she wanted to go with you, so leave her alone.”

“This doesn’t have anything to do with you! She’s been living alone in this house for years now, and this neighborhood is dangerous!” True enough. “Are you her boyfriend or something?”

“No. We’re friends, and I don’t appreciate my friend being harassed.” I could’ve sworn a small sigh came from Erna, standing at my backside. “Regardless, leave her alone.”

“That house belongs to the family, Erna. Keep that in mind, I’m giving you a chance to come and live with your family; don’t make me have you evicted!” Erna’s cousin walked to his expensive car and drove off, still watching us from the rearview mirror.

“Dylan…is a jerk. Huhuhu…t-thanks for helping me.” That goofy laugh meant a lot. I’d gotten used to her making weird faces whenever she chuckled to herself, but when I turned, a more natural expression greeted me. A smile formed across rosy cheeks and red lips; a neatly trimmed bob cut went along with the somber black dress she wore beneath her signature black belt-jacket.

“Were you…dressed to come to the funeral?”

“…Ugh…y-yes…” Erna quickly covered up, a harsh blush overtaking the entirety of her face and ears.

“Why didn’t you come? We would’ve stopped by and picked you up.”

“…I…don’t really belong there. Everyone there are friends and family…I’m an outsider.”

“You’re not! You’re our friend, Erna.” She tugged her bangs down, trying to shield her face and hide the all too obvious blush. I sighed, realizing that all of those words were going to come across as weightless with my next statement. “Erna…I-”

“Teddy and I didn’t really get to talk much. I…would’ve liked to have got to know him…better.”

“…You two would have probably gotten along. We met in middle school, and when I first saw the guy, I thought he was a highschooler. He was six feet tall in the seventh grade!” Thinking back warmed my soul. “Demica actually brought him over to me and Chester. She said he was into anime and video games too, which surprised us!” Suddenly, I was lost sailing down a stream of memories. “Chester just about scared him off when he brought up paranormal stuff and ghost hunting. Teddy actually wasn’t into any of that, not nearly as much as the rest of us. Whenever we would watch ghost sighting videos online, he’d point out the bad camera work, immediately! No one was better at getting a good shot than him with a camera. I remember, when we started talking about making the club, he and Perry pointed out how we didn’t even know what kinds of cameras to use.”

“It sounds like…you really valued him.” That was an understatement!

“Of course! He knew so much! If there was a match in MMA, he knew the winner, how they won and could tell me the exact date and card! He could mimic just about any movie’s camerawork! One time, it was actually our first time ever filming, we were looking into the owlman; you probably know the exact video! Anyway, we were-” An unexpected soft sensation gently brushed my cheek. A handkerchief, held Erna, rested against my face. “What’s going?”

“I just…you were crying…”

“Was I…?” Tears streamed down my face, unknown to me at the time, reminiscing was slashing apart my heart. “Oh…”

“…Do you want to go inside?”

“No…it’s…I came here to talk to you.”

“Okay…what is it?”

“…”

“…”

I dried eyes, took a deep breath, and finally spoke those words. “I’m leaving Greenville.”

“…What? Why?! Y-Your…not mad at me, right?! Are you mad…that I haven’t made headway in my research?!” Erna shuddered like a baby deer!

“Erna, no! Calm down.” I grabbed her by the shoulders, bracing her. We locked eyes and I continued. “I’m leaving to fight magekin that could possibly come for us.” It wasn’t untrue…but it wasn’t the full truth.

“R-Right! Of course, huhuhu…” She began to giggle. Misleading the person who I’d placed my trust in, especially after all we’d been through in our short relationship dug into my soul, so quickly, I yielded the whole truth.

“…I’m…probably not coming back.”

“What?! No! Why?!”

She broke from my grasp and backed away! Mascara tinted beads growing in the corners of her eyes bled into dark strips running down her pale cheeks. “…If I stay here, I’m going to keep putting all of you in danger. Teddy…would still be alive if I wasn’t around.”

“That’s not true!”

“…Erna, I’m not going to argue with you; it is true.”

“You…can’t blame yourself!”

“Erna, this could be goodbye.”

“I…haven’t finished the research! G-Give me some time…I’m sure I can do…something…”

“That request, it was such a selfish thing to ask. I’m honestly sorry; you were the first person that I ever pulled into all this crap, you know?”

“…don’t you have…a time limit? Won’t the seed kill you?”

“Yeah…I still want to live – I do, but not if it endangers everyone I love.”

“…Please don’t…” Lowering to a quivering whisper, Erna reached out for my hand. Those small hands shook, as tears poured from my friend’s downcast eyes. “…I’ll be alone…again…”

“You’ve got the club. They’ll need you so much now. Continue your research, there’s a chance we could meet up one day, and even if that doesn’t happen, maybe it’ll help someone else.” With that, I backed away. “Goodbye, Erna.”

She shrunk in the distance as I walked down the silent streets again, feeling lonelier than before. My shoulders tensed, cold air breathed down my neck, and a glare plagued with malice watched my back; once more, I’d upset the spirit of Erna’s grandmother. The worst part wasn’t knowing I’d angered the ghost but having to ignore Erna, failing badly at hiding her weeping behind her hands. Grief ruled the day, cutting deep into the false resolve I’d erected in my psyche, but those last words to and from Erna nearly toppled the whole mentality.

Part 6

The last challenge of my day, Mom. The familiar white door before me seemed like an enormous metal monolith jammed into my path. Murmuring came from the other side, sounding like Mom, and unfortunately, my Father. That resolve I’d spent so much time walking around the block to build up was beginning to waver. “Zahn, he’ll be home soon enough.”

“How could you just leave him?! Fate being alive is a fucking a miracle! You shouldn’t even be letting him out of your sight! How many times does he have to end up missing or almost dead before you get it through your thick skull?!” Just like when I was a child, he hollered, and I waited behind a door for it end.

“He’s an adult, okay? I can’t just tell him what to do!”

“You can, and you should! This is exactly what I always tell you! If you weren’t so hardheaded, then things wouldn’t turn out like they always do!”

“Fuck you, Zahn! You have no right to talk to me like this anymore!”

“Excuse me?!”

“I said, fuck you! You don’t have the right to speak to me like this, in my apartment! You walked out on us seventeen years ago, remember?”

“I left because things…weren’t working.”

“No, you left because things weren’t going your way! You left and got yourself a family that would do everything your way, because that’s how everything has to go! You know what, get out! Out!”

“June, I’m not leaving until I see Fate!” I opened the door, leaving both speechless. My father gawked at me with his brown, wrinkled face, confused. “Fate…how much of that…no I guess it doesn’t matter.”

“No. I grew up hearing that stuff all the time. Would’ve been able to just guess half of it anyway.” There wasn’t an ounce of anxiety building within my body, just a grossly nostalgic discomfort.

“What happened to your hair, and when did you get so tan?” Right by him, without so much as another look, I walked up to Mom and gave her a warm hug. My suit remained slightly sodden with rainwater, so she pushed away, hoping to keep her sweats dry! “Fate, tell me what’s going on?”

“Go home.”

“Fate, don’t do that. I’m your father.”

“Go home. I have things I need to talk to Mom about and I don’t have time to deal with you.”

“I am your father!”

“I want you to go home. No matter what you say to me, it won’t get me to answer your questions or acknowledge your feelings. You never did for me or Mom, after all. Go home.”

All at once, his brow furrowed, right eye twitched, and upper lip slightly quivered. My father’s neck muscles tensed, and pushing out a vein, as he turned his head, seething. “You listen to me, when the time comes for you to want to talk, don’t think I’ll always be around. That goes for you too, June! You better raise my son right.” All in a huff and breathy tone, father left us, storming out of the front door with his long greying hair trailing behind.

Before I knew it, Mom was seated at the dining room table. The eyes of a mother, when filled with worry, were some of the harshest pressures a son could feel crushing their chest. “Whatever it is you’re going to tell, please just say it. I know whenever things like this happen, you try to do something crazy.”

I seated myself opposite her. Though the table between us was only a few feet long, the length felt to grow by the second, pushing my own mother further away. “Mom…I called my boss, Wally, and I quit. He said I’d get paid for work throughout the next month.”

“Okay.”

“…I also messaged my councilor at school and made sure I wasn’t signed up for any classes any time soon.”

“Okay.”

“I…spoke with Chester and the group to see how they were holding up. They’re all broken up about Teddy, but we had a…long conversation.”

“Okay.”

“Erna too, she’s going to stick with the club. That’s girl is kind of hopeless without someone around.”

“Yes, I noticed. She’s a sweet girl.”

“Bramble will be alright. So, don’t worry about where he is, okay?”

“Okay.”

“…Mom…I’m leaving.”

“Did you just imagine I would accept that?”

“No, I didn’t. No one has so far. Everyone tried to talk me out of it, come up with solutions, point out how dumb I am, tell me I’m not at fault, but I know the truth.”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“Huh?”

“I said I don’t want to hear it!” With force enough to jabbed the edge of the table into my gut, Mom shot up from her seat! “Wally, Chester, Demica, Perry, Erna, even Zahn, all of them are different from me! I’m your mother! You’ve been keeping this secret from me for months now! I’m sure that so many other people in your life know, and yet here I am being told by my son – my son, that you’re just leaving?!”

“…Mom, everything that’s happened to this point is my fault. That girl you saw on the day we left for the Jasontown swamp was Anesha, and she’s a witch. She’s what known better as magekin, people who can control mana. Mana is like a lifeforce created throughout the world by everyone and everything, and…In my chest right now is the biggest, most precious producer of mana, the seed of Yggdrasil. It’s so powerful that if it ends up in the wrong hands…it could end the whole world! It can make miracles happen, apparently.”

“…” All air had been sucked from the room. No sounds could pierce the layer of silence invited in by me.

“From the old Rockwell estate being burned down, me disappearing for days, to the incident at the school, the massacre out in the projects, and the Jasontown swamp…and Teddy’s death, all of it was because of this stupid seed! It’s the reason I always end up looking like this, because I always have to fight! It makes me stronger and gives me some crazy powers, but it also causes tons of monsters and other magekin to come after me. Teddy got killed because I was around, Erna almost died too…people in the projects were killed and…I don’t want anyone else to be hurt because…I’m too scared to leave everything behind and go away!”

“…” She didn’t speak, didn’t move, didn’t blink. The whole time, my mother simply looked down at me, trying not to drop from my seat into a hysterical crying fit.

“Someday soon, in around a little over half a year…the seed will need to grow into the Tree of Yggdrasil, and when it does…I’m going to die.”

“What?! I-What?!” That finally broke Mom from her spell! “What do you mean? Is all of this…that…for real?! Fate, what the fuck are you talking about?!”

“Sorry to drop all of this onto you, but it’s better you understand why I have to leave now.”

“I don’t understand! If all of that is true, then go to the doctor’s, have them take it out…can they?! Get a surgery, do something! Tell the police!”

“Tried all of that. For a while, Anesha would stop me, but lately, I know if someone were to do anything like that, the mana building up in my chest would kill them, and probably me too, right away. There’s like a fountain of energy oozing out of me at all times. I…really don’t want to leave believing things are hopeless but…if I stay, you could be put in danger.”

“I don’t care! You’re my son, I won’t let you get hurt even if I have to fight off monsters and God himself!”

“Thanks Mom, but I’m leaving. There isn’t really anything you can say to stop me.”

“…Your friends…your dreams, your job, your everything, you’re just going to give them up?!” Mom snatched me by the lapel of my jacket, as she desperately searched for the weakness in my eyes. “You wanted to go to college, then travel the world with your friends! To make your group into an investigation team and live happily! To have something that you never had growing up…because of me. Because I couldn’t properly provide, because I was so selfish and wanted to be a director…I robbed you of all the necessities needed for a boy to grow up happy and yet…you never once blamed me, even though it was all my fault!”

“…Mom, this isn’t something that you could’ve prevented. Just like my name says, it’s Fate. Nothing can stop it; nothing can change someone’s fate. I…hope that someday, I can come back…but if I don’t…” I’d cried so much that day, expecting there weren’t any more tears left to be shed and yet, they billowed from my eyes, more so than ever, matching the stream running down Mom’s face. “Mom…stay safe, for me. I want to believe that I’ll come back, that I can beat all of this and when I return…that you, Chester, Demica, Gabby and Erna will be waiting for me on the other side.”

Mom’s grip on my collar changed to hug as swiftly as any monster latching on! Tighter than any rubble crushing me, she held tightly, openly sobbing. I failed to keep the tears in but remained steadfast as I held my mother in my arms. If it were truly the last time, I wanted to remember my Mom; her concern, warmth, strength to persevere, thoughtfulness and love.

End of chapter 23