REMAID- Panic

I don’t bother with the front office. I don’t know how serious this is, and Rimi is in no condition to explain it to me. The best thing that comes to my mind is just to do as she told me. So, I lead her out the front entrance and down the path into the shops. The realization that I don’t know where her house is gets answered by her whispering each direction to me. Her voice is so quiet and pained sounding it makes my heart shatter. What happened to the sweetest girl I know? I bite my tongue. No questions for now. What’s important is that I do as she needs.

We eventually make our way to a large building, windows surrounding each few feet of its structure. An apartment complex…right, I saw this on the tour. Shit, not the time for memories. I lead her inside.

“207.” She whimpers out. I feel her getting heavier in my arms. She’s barely walking anymore. I can’t keep moving like this, it’s too awkward. “M-my legs won’t move.” She says, her tears starting to leak out. What the fuck is this?! Come on, am I missing something? Think dumbass! An idea comes to my mind.

“Rimi, I’m going to pick you up, okay? We’re going to get you to bed.” I do my best to sound reassuring as I begin rearranging my arms. Gently, I let one loop under her legs before moving to touch her back. “Hey, hey, I got you. I promise I have you.” Gently whispering my words, I feel her shivering frame loosen up enough for me to pick her up without much difficulty. Now with her in my grasp, I can climb a little less awkwardly.

“I’m scared. I’m scared, I can’t breathe.”

“Shh, shh, it’s okay. You can breathe. Try it for me. Take a slow breath and hold it.” I try to remember what I did with my mother when she was panicking. The breathing was always the quickest way to get control of the issue. Come on, please work for her too. She takes a slow breath, holds it as I recommended. “Now, release.” She releases.

“Now do it again. We’re almost home.” I say, my arms starting to feel numb. Shit, I need to get her in bed fast. She repeats the breathing, grabbing onto my neck.

“K-knock at-at the do-”

“Ok, I will. You just relax.”

“Hnngh.” She bites my shirt. I don't care in the slightest. We make it to 207 and I kick at the door. Hurry up whoever the hell is in there, please!

“Sissy?” I hear a kid's voice from inside.

“Ah, I’ve got your sissy with me. Can you open the door?” Fuck, how exactly do you talk to kids?

“Sissy’s with you?” The kid sounds suspicious.

“YORU OPEN THE DOOR PLEASE!” Rimi yells. The door flings open, nearly smacking me in the face, and the girl with black hair and orange eyes in front of me looks pale as a sheet.

“Sissy!” She seems nervous and upset. I do my best to walk around her.

“Don’t worry, she’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna lay her down and she'll be alright, little Yoru.” I say whatever comforting lie I can think of. Inside the apartment isn’t very big. A little nook to the right with kitchen equipment, a couch and tv, and three doors. I can feel Rimi trying to guide me to the one on the left, and I heed her, walking to the slightly ajar room and pushing it open. Inside is a clean set up of a drawer, desk, pc, and bed. How disgustingly tidy. Even at this moment, I’m jealous.

I walk to the bed, and begin to lay her down, when a small hiccup occurs; she won’t let go of my neck.

“Please don’t leave me.” Her teary, messy face is all the convincing I need. I carefully lay down next to her and she takes that as credence to push herself into me. Her body quivers, and I can feel her trying to keep breathing slowly while buried in my shirt. Slowly, I stroke her head.

“Alone…I’m alone. I don’t exist. I don’t exist.”

“Yes you do. You’re right here.” I try to think of all the positive responses I can.

“No. No one sees me. Invisible. Invisible. You can’t…you can’t.”

“Rimi…I’m right here. I’m real, and so are you. We both exist. I can feel your warmth. I can feel your tears. I can see you. I can see your soft hair. Your gentle skin. I can hear your voice. How it’s always so gentle, and how now it’s so sadly quivering. I perceive you, Rimi, I promise. I promise you’re real.”

“N…guh…help. Help me, Yuta. Help me. It hurts. It hurts. My chest hurts.”

“Don’t worry. It’s only stress. Just listen to my voice. Just listen to me.” I gently console her, letting my gentle strokes through her hair do most of the talking.

“Don’t leave Yuta. Don’t leave me.”

“I’m going nowhere.” I hold her tight. “I won't leave you ever, I promise.” I feel her body continue to shake, but her breathing begins to settle. The practice must have worked. Thank god. I can feel the eyes of a little girl on me. I wish I could explain to her that it was all gonna be alright, but I can’t divert attention. Right now, Rimi needs me.

My friend needs me.

###

The feeling of movement wakes me. I don’t open my eyes, too tired to bother. However, I’m rewarded for this action by an unexpected warmness on my cheek. Something soft, tender. I can tell almost immediately what it is. I feel the person next to me snuggle up closer, calm as can be. Rimi…

Rimi kissed me.

I don’t feel giddy. I don’t feel like a euphoric moment of truth has awoken inside me.

I just feel…happy.

I open my eyes, and let them look over at her. Her eyes stare back.

There’s a moment of silence. Her face looks…so beautiful.

I just…want…to reciprocate the feeling.

We end up kissing again. This time, I feel her lips against mine. It’s incredible. Why is it so incredible? I feel like if I let this moment end I’ll never be happy again. I let myself roll atop her. Her hands wrap around me as I place my hands on her hips.

What am I doing? This…is this right? I’m supposed to be comforting her. How can this be anything more than my selfish desires leaking out. I pull my lips away, and see her face once more. She looks…as happy as I feel.

“S-show me…” Her face gently starts to turn red. “Prove I exist~.” She whispers.

“Okay,” I let our lips return together as I feel her start to pull up my shirt.