From age 1 to 90 (Bonus: Pre-story Chapter)

Growing up I remember making friends relatively easily. "Bruno this...", "Bruno that...", everyone had something to say to me. Everyone had something to show me. Being the 'nice guy' I was always the center of attention.

Age 10: As I grew up, a new concept called "cool" developed. Playing "hard to get", or acting like a tough big shot became the more attractive feature, a feature that I did not possess. This made my school days experience become a very specific kind of hell. Anything good that could have been said about my situation was that some people had it worse. Any complaint from me had only gotten downplayed by whoever cared enough to act, while acting as if they cared more than they actually did. So my suffering was not bad enoguh to be aknowledged, and no helping hands have been raised in my direction. I started losing care about my situation, about how I look, and about my own self in general. I became slowly overweight and any attention I got was either negative or scarce. My adoptive parents lived overseas and never cared for me really. And so I always found myself looking for any attention I could possibly get.

My friendships at the time were not impressive. My own friends did not respect me. When I befriended two new kids at my class, it felt like they had an "alliance" against me. After a few years they told me that some times they "change their friends" to "refresh", and gave me less attention while still being in touch amongst themselves. In turn, I found myself cutting completely my relations with them, as they left me behind.

Getting motivation from Anime, I started getting into sports. I stopped caring about what other people thought of me, I stopped caring about how people didn't bother thinking about me. Any pain from difficulty and effort didn't scare me much, knowing my own hellish pain will triumph in comparison.

But this hell wasn't eternal. When my school days were over - it was finally time to strive for a new chapter in my life, as my physical makeover was getting much more apparent as well. The only thing I really knew was Anime and games. "Perhaps I can learn something in academy that relates to Anime?" (I was thinking to myself, as I reached to a university with easy entrance requirements). "I wanna make my own Anime!" I pledged, full of unreasonable mysterously acquired confidence.

Age 20: I started studying animation and pop culture. On the first day of class, I was completely shocked. Everyone else had a similar Japanese pop-loving agenda... So instead of being an outcast who has to hide behind Anime, I had peers who I may share my hobbies and conduct lengthy conversations with. I was happy. Finally!

But there was one thing that had bothered me about this too-dramatic-of-a-change. As a kid I used to be overweight, but now, my makeover got me attention specifically from girls. I'm not the kind of person who ping-pongs between different girls, and there is only so much attention a girl might give you if she is mostly interested in things that aren't your friendship. People started normalizing the intercations with me. In time, what I had to say started mattering even less than what others had to say. I was feeling afraid for the future of my friendships that I only just finally made.

But there was hope! Those new friends were good people! Even if they lost most of their interest in me, I was still included. "Maybe I don't have to be alone anymore" I thought. We kept hanging out as much as was possible until the degree studies were over.

When everyone graduated I felt such bliss, such pride! The ceremony was over and everyone went home, and ultimately their own way. "This chapter in my life is closed, finished, but it's okay!" I thought, "because we are still gonna see each other all the time!"

We didn't.

Slowly but surely, I started burying myself in Anime, Series after series. Getting addicted to online games, hour after hour of gameplay. I was supposed to be in my peak, my best performance socialy. And yet... "Here we are again" I admitted.

It was around that time when I noticed a new internet thing called 'Streaming'. A lot of people started making content videos online, but I particulary focused on the live feed videos. Then a new concept was introduced: House of streamers. A bunch of content creators who make videos and stream about gaming and Anime, while living together like a family and making content together.

Slowly but surely, I got addicted to watching these too. And it got me thinking: "making my own Anime... I promised I will chase this path, a dream I had from before I even made the promise about it! I wanted to make my own Anime, my own anime-world that is 100% perfect, in any way I choose it. But is it really what I wished for?" I started wondering...

"Isn't it possible that I strived for something else? That it only felt like a realistic version of my 'one true wish'?" (as I negotiated with my own brain to get some answers from it, I was finally ready to admit the truth:) "My one true wish was to be born in an Anime world to begin with".

"But what if I become a streamer? I wouldn't have any super powers, that's true, but I could live with a bunch of people like me, as a family! We might not be heroes who fight the bad guys in an "isekai"-anime-kind-of world, but it might be most of what we would be talking about. Instead of making my own 100% anime world in which I dont get to live in, I can strive for less precentage, in order to live through any second of it".

"I'm definetly going to!...become a streamer..." (for some reason my pledge lost its' volume midway).

"but first I have to get better at these games... Surely it's important to make connections with others, but I already know how to make friends now!"

A day had passed.

"A'ight I'm gonna make some coffee, and then, 'what new Anime is out?'"

Another day had passed.

"Tomorow I can search some artists, maybe I'll comission a Vtuber model?"

A month had passed.

"Maybe I should make a list of things to prepare. I'll get on that tomorow."

15 years had passed.

"...I hate this game..."

...This was my 40th birthday... Alone in my room. I had no plans or active lists. I hadn't conducted a true live conversation in years or a true live stream for that matter.

I found myself without any spirit, or will to live. Joyless. I had enough with complicated games. I did not see much improvement in my own ability and performance. "I better get back to playing those grindy RPGs. There, your effort matters".

20 years had passed.

I found out my adoptive parents had died. Didn't hear from them years prior to that. I got used to the comfort of the repetitive gameplay that improves one's own character in RPGs. I also noticed that I have to go outside more often to get medications, as well as how hard that journey became. Technology hasn't changed that much, and in gaming, graphics got mostly improved.

29 years, 364 days and 1 hour had passed.

"...Tomorow is my birthday..." I was thinking, as I fell from my chair.

-End of prologue-